Worst Joke Ever

[TomTao]

Q. What do you call a dog with no ears?

A. Whatever you want, it ain't gonna hear ya.

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[rijb]

Q: Why do some dogs have flat heads?

A: They like to chase parked cars.

[GooEng]

So anyway my budgie got out of the cage and shagged the dog!

Well, at least I've got some puppies, going cheep if anyone is interested...

[TomTao]

So anyway my budgie got out of the cage and shagged the dog!

Well, at least I've got some puppies, going cheep if anyone is interested...

Thats bad

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[warfie]

So anyway my budgie got out of the cage and shagged the dog!

Well, at least I've got some puppies, going cheep if anyone is interested...

Thats bad

Posted with Thaivisa App http://apps.thaivisa.com

Perfect!

[GooEng]

So anyway my budgie got out of the cage and shagged the dog!

Well, at least I've got some puppies, going cheep if anyone is interested...

Thats bad

Posted with Thaivisa App http://apps.thaivisa.com

Perfect!

don't encourage me, you'll regret it.

[warfie]

So anyway my budgie got out of the cage and shagged the dog!

Well, at least I've got some puppies, going cheep if anyone is interested...

Thats bad

Posted with Thaivisa App http://apps.thaivisa.com

Perfect!

don't encourage me, you'll regret it.

Don't bet on it... IMO the perfect "groaner" makes one piss themselves laughing whilst simultaneously making one want to kick the teller in the balls...

[GooEng]

i don't mind sick jokes, or even racist jokes but i draw the line at jokes about fat people.

they have enough on their plates...

[Bangkokhatter]

a steak and kidney pie walks into a bar

says can i get a pint of lager please ?

Barman says....sorry don't serve food in here

[GooEng]

Best joke on the thread

(not that much of an achievement really)

Not sure what's happened here - I'm using An IPB app on iPhone to post and that comment was directed at the joke on page one about the guy who goes to the doctor covered in food and is advised he's not eating properly - but it seems to have appeared on its own at the end of the thread.

Anyway, so my gf said tease me, so I said ok fatty

Edited January 8, 2012 by GooEng

[TomTao]

On monday Jack Rabbit had grilled cheese on toast, on tuesday he had grilled ham on toast, wednesday he had jam on toast, he was found dead on thursday, the cause of death was mixtamatoasties.

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[Thaddeus]

My grandfather died recently, before he passed away my grandmother smeared goose grease all over his back, he went downhill quite quickly after that.

[lost_in_space]

So, a woman, who was a terrible punster, and couldn't make her husband laugh at any of her puns, decided to collect 10 of the funniest puns she could find. She read them off to him and was sure at least one would make him laugh.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

[warfie]

So, a woman, who was a terrible punster, and couldn't make her husband laugh at any of her puns, decided to collect 10 of the funniest puns she could find. She read them off to him and was sure at least one would make him laugh.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

oh dear....

[mca]

The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding through the desert when suddenly Tonto stops his horse, leaps off and places his ear to the ground.

"Keemosabay. Buffalo Come. 10 minutes ago." he says to the Lone Ranger.

" That's amazing Tonto" replies the Lone Ranger. " And you can tell that just by placing your ear to the ground and listening? "

" Nom Keemosabay" answers Tonto " Ear sticky"

[jvs]

Two fish out for a swim,one hits a wall,dam!

[rizla]

Why do women have legs ?

Have you seen the mess a snail makes!!!

Sorry girls just joking..

[mca]

^{Why do elephants have big ears?}

^{Because Noddy won't pay the ransom.}

[TomTao]

Ever wonder why gorrillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers?

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[LennyW]

Two fish in a tank, one says to the other "Do you know how to drive this thing?" !

[Daffy D]

What do you do with 365 used condoms?

Melt them down, make a tire and, and call it a Goodyear.

Boom.......... Boom............................

[mca]

2 cows are standing in a field

1 says to the other " Are you worried about this mad cow disease?"

"Not a bit" says the cow "I'm a helicopter'

[Pseudolus]

Did you hear about the agnostic, dyslexic insomniac? He used to lay awake at night wondering if there is a dog.

[Thaddeus]

A man goes in to a late night surgery and says "Doctor Doctor you have to help me"

The Doctor says "Ok what's the problem?"

Man "I think I'm a moth"

Doctor "You don't need me, you need a psychologist"

Man "I know, but your light was on"

[Thaddeus]

Just coming out of the festive season........ as it were..

Man goes in to the Doctors and says that he thinks he has a mince pie stuck up his arse, the Doc asks him to remove his trousers and bend over the table so he can have a look, which he does, the Doc says "yes you have, but it's your lucky day, I have some cream for that"

[Thaddeus]

Did you hear about the agnostic, dyslexic insomniac? He used to lay awake at night wondering if there is a dog.

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper.... he sold his soul to Santa.

[Thaddeus]

Did you hear about the agnostic, dyslexic insomniac? He used to lay awake at night wondering if there is a dog.

Did you hear about the dyslexic recovering alcoholic, choked on his own Vimto.

[Crossy]

Did you hear about the dyslexic recovering alcoholic, choked on his own Vimto.

For non-Brits http://www.vimto.co.uk/default.aspx anyone seen it here? It's certainly available in Singapore.

[mca]

Did you hear about the agnostic, dyslexic insomniac? He used to lay awake at night wondering if there is a dog.

Did you hear about the dyslexic recovering alcoholic, choked on his own Vimto.

I don't know whether to piss myself laughing or hit the "report" button mate.! That's awful!

[GarryP]

Did you hear about the dyslexic recovering alcoholic, choked on his own Vimto.

For non-Brits http://www.vimto.co.uk/default.aspx anyone seen it here? It's certainly available in Singapore.

Also for Brits. I had never heard of the stuff before.