Dining Out

[SanSaiExPat]

I've lived in Thailand for 6 years now and have come to expect and indeed accept the unexpected. However, there is one somewhat unique habit of Thai waiters and waitreses I've noticed that I was wondering if anyone else has experienced. I do speak some Thai and always order my own food in Thai and ask the waiter or waitress for the bill in Thai. The Thai waiter or waitress will bring the bill, hand it to me and wait paitentily while I fish the bills out of my wallet. Now here's what I find curious, no matter where we are, at S&P or in at a noodle shop or on the street, when they bring the change back they always present the paid bill and change to my Thai wife. Initially I was a little miffed by this behavior. I felt as if they were presenting it to her to have her approval and I felt like, "Hey, I'm the on paying the dam_n bill here, not her, you should return the bill and change to me." But I've learned, over time ,to accept this behavior. I was just wondering if any of you have experienced this and if anyone has any ideas on what the thinking is behind it?

[ukrules]

At a guess I'd say they probably think your wife will tip them more.

[caf]

At a guess I'd say they probably think your wife will tip them more.

I've seen that happen so you may be right.

Also Thais check each item on a bill and point out mistakes. Westerners tend not to. So the waiter may give the bill to the thai so that it can be checked

[metisdead]

It happens to me as well. I manage the funds. In Thailand the wife is usually the money manager, pays the check bins, therefore the change is always returned to her (and she pushes it across the table to me). And, no, I do not believe it is because they think the wife will tip more, most often the wife will tip less,,,,,

[nisha0901]

At a guess I'd say they probably think your wife will tip them more.

I've seen that happen so you may be right.

Also Thais check each item on a bill and point out mistakes. Westerners tend not to. So the waiter may give the bill to the thai so that it can be checked

wow !! never noted this !! will try next time ..lolzz

[daoyai]

It happens to me as well. I manage the funds. In Thailand the wife is usually the money manager, pays the check bins, therefore the change is always returned to her (and she pushes it across the table to me). And, no, I do not believe it is because they think the wife will tip more, most often the wife will tip less,,,,,

Exactly, even if they try to hand the bill to me, the mia intercepts and checks the math, then checks that the change is correct.

[G54]

Whenever I am out with a Thai female, they are handed the bill - or if they are not, they take it off me. They check all the bottles and numbers of. They also check how much ice and food. Any discrepancy is duly noted and corrected. Then, if a new bill arrives, she goes through the same process again.

It is surprising how often and extra item or 2 will be added to the bill and we foreigners tend not to notice as most of us do not read Thai.

The change is then handed to the female too and passed on to me.

Also it is usually the woman in a relationship who manages the money

[Mosha]

I have to agree with G54. My wife will spend quite a few minutes scanning the bill. Asking questions, as for tipping, I cringe at how tight she is. No matter how much we spend, they are lucky if she tips more than 20 Baht.

[Jingthing]

At a guess I'd say they probably think your wife will tip them more.

I've seen that happen so you may be right.

Also Thais check each item on a bill and point out mistakes. Westerners tend not to. So the waiter may give the bill to the thai so that it can be checked

This westerner tends to. Enough with the stereotypes.

[TAWP]

I always tip more than the wife...she expects 2 baht back from the taxi driver...

[G54]

I have to agree with G54. My wife will spend quite a few minutes scanning the bill. Asking questions, as for tipping, I cringe at how tight she is. No matter how much we spend, they are lucky if she tips more than 20 Baht.

And if the bill is incorrect not even a Satong tip

[verydumbubba]

Ya gonna have a coronary next

Bubba

[neverdie]

Whenever I am out with a Thai female, they are handed the bill - or if they are not, they take it off me. They check all the bottles and numbers of. They also check how much ice and food. Any discrepancy is duly noted and corrected. Then, if a new bill arrives, she goes through the same process again.

It is surprising how often and extra item or 2 will be added to the bill and we foreigners tend not to notice as most of us do not read Thai.

The change is then handed to the female too and passed on to me.

Also it is usually the woman in a relationship who manages the money

No wonder your accounts are all over the place G54....you seem to change manager often

[bojo]

I would put it down to simply the fact that Thai's like dealing with Thais, whether it be interaction or conversation. Even when having a conversation in Thai ,it takes more effort on their part to have a conversation with a foreigner since in most cases the foreigners incorrect speech makes it hard for them to understand. Even if the foreigner speaks near perfect Thai, many ill educated Thais just shut down and almost refuse to understand if there is a Thai present which they can converse with instead.

Regards Bojo

[richard_smith237]

Based on what I have observed it appears to me that this is nothing more than simple ignorance of the waiters-waitresses etc being more comfortable dealing with their own nationality and they mean nothing by it.

It’s not a big deal but I know what you mean, after a while it wears thin.

It appears to me as though these little etiquette idiosyncrasies occur less in places where the staff are more likely to have received better training.

[richard_smith237]

I would put it down to simply the fact that Thai's like dealing with Thais, whether it be interaction or conversation. Even when having a conversation in Thai ,it takes more effort on their part to have a conversation with a foreigner since in most cases the foreigners incorrect speech makes it hard for them to understand. Even if the foreigner speaks near perfect Thai, many ill educated Thais just shut down and almost refuse to understand if there is a Thai present which they can converse with instead.

Regards Bojo

Spot on. I believe it's this simple.

[Garry9999]

I would put it down to simply the fact that Thai's like dealing with Thais, whether it be interaction or conversation. Even when having a conversation in Thai ,it takes more effort on their part to have a conversation with a foreigner since in most cases the foreigners incorrect speech makes it hard for them to understand. Even if the foreigner speaks near perfect Thai, many ill educated Thais just shut down and almost refuse to understand if there is a Thai present which they can converse with instead.

Regards Bojo

Happens to me all the time too. I think bojo is absolutely correct. If you want the bill, hold out your hand has the waiter approaches and they will give it to you, but will most likely glance at your wife while doing so.

[Garry9999]

Whenever I am out with a Thai female, they are handed the bill - or if they are not, they take it off me. They check all the bottles and numbers of. They also check how much ice and food. Any discrepancy is duly noted and corrected. Then, if a new bill arrives, she goes through the same process again.

It is surprising how often and extra item or 2 will be added to the bill and we foreigners tend not to notice as most of us do not read Thai.

The change is then handed to the female too and passed on to me.

Also it is usually the woman in a relationship who manages the money

If the roles where reversed, Farang Lady with Thai Man, would the change still be handed to the woman?

[Deke]

I would put it down to simply the fact that Thai's like dealing with Thais, whether it be interaction or conversation. Even when having a conversation in Thai ,it takes more effort on their part to have a conversation with a foreigner since in most cases the foreigners incorrect speech makes it hard for them to understand. Even if the foreigner speaks near perfect Thai, many ill educated Thais just shut down and almost refuse to understand if there is a Thai present which they can converse with instead.

Regards Bojo

Happens to me all the time too. I think bojo is absolutely correct. If you want the bill, hold out your hand has the waiter approaches and they will give it to you, but will most likely glance at your wife while doing so.

I agree with this line of thinking. When I see the waiter starting to hand the bill to my wife, I wave him/her over and they give it to me.

I'm also always the one to check it, by the way.

[foxxy]

It's a subtle hint for the money flow ? As from (the husband's pocket) where should the money flow out to (the wife's)!

[G54]

Whenever I am out with a Thai female, they are handed the bill - or if they are not, they take it off me. They check all the bottles and numbers of. They also check how much ice and food. Any discrepancy is duly noted and corrected. Then, if a new bill arrives, she goes through the same process again.

It is surprising how often and extra item or 2 will be added to the bill and we foreigners tend not to notice as most of us do not read Thai.

The change is then handed to the female too and passed on to me.

Also it is usually the woman in a relationship who manages the money

If the roles where reversed, Farang Lady with Thai Man, would the change still be handed to the woman?

You bet!!

[surface]

I noticed this too, and I can only laugh when they hand the change to the GF because she won't be leaving them squat!

[PastEgo]

my wife does not tip at all

most thais i know do not tip

when i asked why they say that they are lucky to have a job!

[Garry9999]

I noticed this too, and I can only laugh when they hand the change to the GF because she won't be leaving them squat!

Best they can expect from my wife is 20B, if the service wasn't up to scratch .... squat!

Edited July 24, 2009 by Garry9999

[petedk]

I've lived in Thailand for 6 years now and have come to expect and indeed accept the unexpected. However, there is one somewhat unique habit of Thai waiters and waitreses I've noticed that I was wondering if anyone else has experienced. I do speak some Thai and always order my own food in Thai and ask the waiter or waitress for the bill in Thai. The Thai waiter or waitress will bring the bill, hand it to me and wait paitentily while I fish the bills out of my wallet. Now here's what I find curious, no matter where we are, at S&P or in at a noodle shop or on the street, when they bring the change back they always present the paid bill and change to my Thai wife. Initially I was a little miffed by this behavior. I felt as if they were presenting it to her to have her approval and I felt like, "Hey, I'm the on paying the dam_n bill here, not her, you should return the bill and change to me." But I've learned, over time ,to accept this behavior. I was just wondering if any of you have experienced this and if anyone has any ideas on what the thinking is behind it?

The OP mentions that the change is given to the wife even though he paid the bill. Yes, I have noticed this happens nearly everywhere. I have asked the wife and she can give no explanation.

It's nothing to do with dealing with Thais because the bill is often given directly to me.

[Garry9999]

I've lived in Thailand for 6 years now and have come to expect and indeed accept the unexpected. However, there is one somewhat unique habit of Thai waiters and waitreses I've noticed that I was wondering if anyone else has experienced. I do speak some Thai and always order my own food in Thai and ask the waiter or waitress for the bill in Thai. The Thai waiter or waitress will bring the bill, hand it to me and wait paitentily while I fish the bills out of my wallet. Now here's what I find curious, no matter where we are, at S&P or in at a noodle shop or on the street, when they bring the change back they always present the paid bill and change to my Thai wife. Initially I was a little miffed by this behavior. I felt as if they were presenting it to her to have her approval and I felt like, "Hey, I'm the on paying the dam_n bill here, not her, you should return the bill and change to me." But I've learned, over time ,to accept this behavior. I was just wondering if any of you have experienced this and if anyone has any ideas on what the thinking is behind it?

The OP mentions that the change is given to the wife even though he paid the bill. Yes, I have noticed this happens nearly everywhere. I have asked the wife and she can give no explanation.

It's nothing to do with dealing with Thais because the bill is often given directly to me.

I don't understand what you are trying to say here, can you clarify.

[Soutpeel]

I have to agree with G54. My wife will spend quite a few minutes scanning the bill. Asking questions, as for tipping, I cringe at how tight she is. No matter how much we spend, they are lucky if she tips more than 20 Baht.

Mrs Soutpeel is exactly the same...

[henryalleman]

When I read all this comments I must conclude that my General is not a classic Thai wife. She never check the bill and she is a great tipper, she tips almost everybody. She always ask me how much I tip and always complain that its not enough and she put some extra 50 Baht.

last week the security guard got 100 baht, just because he called some mechanic to fix something in the apartment.

BTW in a restaurant they always bring the change to me.