Geekfreaklover Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 i find the attitude of many foreigners strange herelets be blunt what unless you have the looks of brad pit or the charisma of svengali women only want thing in life security here in thailand it comes across a lot more strong and a lot more truthful they will not lie to you why they will choose a foreigner over local my first wifes lawyers took me for a lot of money when we got divorced what i have spent on my wife is a drop in ocean compared do not kid yourself women around the globe want financial security but what femininisation has taught western women is to be self reliant (i am not having a go at feminists) and to have a far higher personal standard when choosing a mate - this in itself has put of many men and some of these men have ended up marrying asian women because they still have "old world values" in other words they like to feel needed and western women the slate them with "sugar daddies" or "sex tourist" and other nice comments the same inexorable march towards feminist liberalisation and freedom is already here in thailand so be afraid be very afraid PastEgo It's more of a slow crawl, on hands and knees, to be fair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StateSix Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 i find the attitude of many foreigners strange herelets be blunt what unless you have the looks of brad pit or the charisma of svengali women only want thing in life security here in thailand it comes across a lot more strong and a lot more truthful they will not lie to you why they will choose a foreigner over local my first wifes lawyers took me for a lot of money when we got divorced what i have spent on my wife is a drop in ocean compared do not kid yourself women around the globe want financial security but what femininisation has taught western women is to be self reliant (i am not having a go at feminists) and to have a far higher personal standard when choosing a mate - this in itself has put of many men and some of these men have ended up marrying asian women because they still have "old world values" in other words they like to feel needed and western women the slate them with "sugar daddies" or "sex tourist" and other nice comments the same inexorable march towards feminist liberalisation and freedom is already here in thailand so be afraid be very afraid :D PastEgo So if I understand you right, you are criticizing western women for not wanting to settle for just any guy and daring to be choosy, whilst saying that asian women are not much more than servants, there to please you, and be oh so grateful that you provided them with "security" and allow them to cook and clean for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
apetley Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 When I lived with my previous GF (6 years ago), I foolishly took a Mia Noi and put her in a rented condo some 400 meters from where I lived with my GF. Every morning at 6am I got up 'to go to the gym for 2 hours', jogged around the corner and jumped into bed with my mia noi. Then I came 'home' for breakfast and then off 'to my 2 hour Thai language lesson', walked around the corner and jumped into bed with my mia noi again!I was able to keep up this pretence for about 2 months until I was physically exhausted. Then (bad move), I moved in with the mia noi. My deception with my GF obviously resulted in bad karma for me and my subsequent 5-year affair/marriage with this mia noi ended in her going clinically insane and me losing everything... Where am I now? Back with the GF whom I should never have deceived in the first place! I have learnt my lesson and know which side my bread is buttered on (Amazing that she waited 5 years for me to return - it must be my stunning good looks) Simon ......or your stamina. Couldn't keep that routine up for a week let alone 2 months. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IanForbes Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 I've always thought it was pretty pathetic to pay a woman on a one night basis to have sex with you who really doesn't want to and is only interested in the money.But to have some pot bellied 50 year old have some kind of fake relationship with an attractive young woman over months or years, spending hundreds of thousand or millions of baht on a someone who is NOT interested in them is just unbelievable. I guess they rationalise it by saying that she DOES really like me, the payment for her car, her condo and the tens of thousands I give her every month are just incidental. She's poor and I just want to help her. Sad, sad husks of human beings. Why is it pathetic for someone to pay for sex? It solves two needs. The person wanting sex is willing to pay for it. The one selling sex gets the money they want with no strings attached. Many marriages are basically a similar business arrangement. Everybody wants or needs something different out of a relationship. Very few people are the same. If there is a mutually accepted arrangement worked out between two or more people then that is their business and nobody elses. Many people just plain don't enjoy sex. Does that mean their partner, who DOES enjoy sex, should have to remain celibate? Not wanting to remain celibate is why I CHOOSE to remain single. I'm quite happy paying for sex, but I only choose partners who enjoy my company as well. And yes, I CAN tell a phony one from the real thing. And, don't tell me that ALL women who sell themselves don't enjoy sex. Many enjoy it much more than most wives. That is just one of the reasons they stay in the trade. And, nobody is rationalizing anything. They are both getting what they want or they wouldn't be doing it. As far as the original topic is concerned I personally would not be interested, but I can understand why some Thai couples do live with that arrangement. The family comes first and nobody wants to break it up. However, if there is no physical attraction remaining towards a spouse then I can see why someone might want a Mia Noi. What would be sad is if the Mia Noi really loves the man, but can never be with him except for a few brief moments together. Nobody likes having their heart broken. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littlebigboss Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 Sorry for this stupid question, I'm new here, but what is a "Mia Noi" ? From the answer, I can't figure out if it's a maid or a mistress. I had a colleague in Singapore who dumped his wife for his maid, so actually it can be both Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IanForbes Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 Sorry for this stupid question, I'm new here, but what is a "Mia Noi" ? From the answer, I can't figure out if it's a maid or a mistress. I had a colleague in Singapore who dumped his wife for his maid, so actually it can be both A Mia Noi is a Thai expression for what the western world calls a mistress. In Thailand it is sort of like a second wife but without the household chores and raising of children. The Mia Noi supposedly remains faithful to the man and he supports her in a manner fitting a lady of leisure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manjara Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 The idea is initially quite appealing, but women are not logical, rational beings and they operate on emotion. Regardless of how comfortable everyone is with the arrangement at the start, it will become emotionally charged and lead to trouble. I put the idea out of my mind several years ago. It's just not worth it: - firstly, you will hurt the person you care most about (regardless who that is) - secondly, you risk losing everything. Think about the effort and time you have spent in your main relationship. Do you really want to go through that again? For what? If you really want sex with someone else, then pay for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
malcolminthemiddle Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 Nobody likes having their heart broken. And that is what happens, sooner or later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Birdman Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 I've always thought it was pretty pathetic to pay a woman on a one night basis to have sex with you who really doesn't want to and is only interested in the money.But to have some pot bellied 50 year old have some kind of fake relationship with an attractive young woman over months or years, spending hundreds of thousand or millions of baht on a someone who is NOT interested in them is just unbelievable. I guess they rationalise it by saying that she DOES really like me, the payment for her car, her condo and the tens of thousands I give her every month are just incidental. She's poor and I just want to help her. Sad, sad husks of human beings. Why is it pathetic for someone to pay for sex? It solves two needs. The person wanting sex is willing to pay for it. The one selling sex gets the money they want with no strings attached. Many marriages are basically a similar business arrangement. Everybody wants or needs something different out of a relationship. Very few people are the same. If there is a mutually accepted arrangement worked out between two or more people then that is their business and nobody elses. Many people just plain don't enjoy sex. Does that mean their partner, who DOES enjoy sex, should have to remain celibate? Not wanting to remain celibate is why I CHOOSE to remain single. I'm quite happy paying for sex, but I only choose partners who enjoy my company as well. And yes, I CAN tell a phony one from the real thing. And, don't tell me that ALL women who sell themselves don't enjoy sex. Many enjoy it much more than most wives. That is just one of the reasons they stay in the trade. And, nobody is rationalizing anything. They are both getting what they want or they wouldn't be doing it. ............... many foreigners think they are part of the family now and have THEREFORE the obligation to support it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harcourt Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 (edited) i find the attitude of many foreigners strange herelets be blunt what unless you have the looks of brad pit or the charisma of svengali women only want thing in life security here in thailand it comes across a lot more strong and a lot more truthful they will not lie to you why they will choose a foreigner over local my first wifes lawyers took me for a lot of money when we got divorced what i have spent on my wife is a drop in ocean compared do not kid yourself women around the globe want financial security but what femininisation has taught western women is to be self reliant (i am not having a go at feminists) and to have a far higher personal standard when choosing a mate - this in itself has put of many men and some of these men have ended up marrying asian women because they still have "old world values" in other words they like to feel needed and western women the slate them with "sugar daddies" or "sex tourist" and other nice comments the same inexorable march towards feminist liberalisation and freedom is already here in thailand so be afraid be very afraid PastEgo So if I understand you right, you are criticizing western women for not wanting to settle for just any guy and daring to be choosy, whilst saying that asian women are not much more than servants, there to please you, and be oh so grateful that you provided them with "security" and allow them to cook and clean for you I don't think PastEgo was saying that at all. If I understood it, if we talk just about what you highlighted in bold, he wasn't critisising Western women at all. He WAS making a comparison between east and west, opining that the difference was due to feminism in the west, and gave two examples of how feminism has given western women a different world view and attitude. He did not imply anything at all that hints at subservience of Asian women. I agree with PastEgo. I should reiterate too...this is not having a go at feminism...in fact it is pointing out some..... sometimes positive effects of feminism. Edited July 31, 2009 by Harcourt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IanForbes Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 The idea is initially quite appealing, but women are not logical, rational beings and they operate on emotion. Regardless of how comfortable everyone is with the arrangement at the start, it will become emotionally charged and lead to trouble. I put the idea out of my mind several years ago. It's just not worth it: - firstly, you will hurt the person you care most about (regardless who that is) - secondly, you risk losing everything. Think about the effort and time you have spent in your main relationship. Do you really want to go through that again? For what? If you really want sex with someone else, then pay for it. Very, very True. And that is precisely the reason why I stay single. I don't WANT to hurt anyone's feelings and I can't risk having another marriage fail. I KNOW that "true" love can die just as quickly as it begins, and when it eventually does end the price you pay is far more than expected. In a similar fashion I guess I actually do have a sort of Mia Noi... except I'm not married to anyone. I help support a couple of Thai families. I send them what I can afford and they have to make up the difference. The only sex involved is when I go to visit the children and the mother is all over me like a tent. I put up with her because I love the children. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mgjackson69 Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 I had a Mia Noi for a while. When the farang wife asked the wrong (or right, depending upon one's perspective) question, I answered truthfully. The wife became the Plaintiff, the Mia Noi became Mia Luang. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IanForbes Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 many foreigners think they are part of the family now and have THEREFORE the obligation to support it. I don't quite get your point, Birdman? I'm not saying you are wrong, but I just don't know what you mean. If you've undertaken to look after a family then there IS an obligation to support them... whether you are foreign or not. I'm not sure how this relates to the OP's topic of a Mia Noi. I'm not sure if a Mia Noi can actually be considered part of a Thai family unless they are all living in the same home together. It that way it would be similar to the old kings of Siam who had many wives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SMEEERE Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 The idea is initially quite appealing, but women are not logical, rational beings and they operate on emotion. Regardless of how comfortable everyone is with the arrangement at the start, it will become emotionally charged and lead to trouble. I put the idea out of my mind several years ago. It's just not worth it: - firstly, you will hurt the person you care most about (regardless who that is) - secondly, you risk losing everything. Think about the effort and time you have spent in your main relationship. Do you really want to go through that again? For what? If you really want sex with someone else, then pay for it. Exactly, well put,. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Livinginexile Posted July 31, 2009 Author Share Posted July 31, 2009 When I lived with my previous GF (6 years ago), I foolishly took a Mia Noi and put her in a rented condo some 400 meters from where I lived with my GF. Every morning at 6am I got up 'to go to the gym for 2 hours', jogged around the corner and jumped into bed with my mia noi. Then I came 'home' for breakfast and then off 'to my 2 hour Thai language lesson', walked around the corner and jumped into bed with my mia noi again!I was able to keep up this pretence for about 2 months until I was physically exhausted. Then (bad move), I moved in with the mia noi. My deception with my GF obviously resulted in bad karma for me and my subsequent 5-year affair/marriage with this mia noi ended in her going clinically insane and me losing everything... Where am I now? Back with the GF whom I should never have deceived in the first place! I have learnt my lesson and know which side my bread is buttered on (Amazing that she waited 5 years for me to return - it must be my stunning good looks) Simon Talk about full circle! I bet you won't repeat THAT mistake Simon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pnustedt Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 my wife found about my mia noy but, after some investigation, discovered that she came from a higher social circle than my neighbour's mia noy. So things seem ok now! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bakeman Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 I've always thought it was pretty pathetic to pay a woman on a one night basis to have sex with you who really doesn't want to and is only interested in the money.But to have some pot bellied 50 year old have some kind of fake relationship with an attractive young woman over months or years, spending hundreds of thousand or millions of baht on a someone who is NOT interested in them is just unbelievable. I guess they rationalise it by saying that she DOES really like me, the payment for her car, her condo and the tens of thousands I give her every month are just incidental. She's poor and I just want to help her. Sad, sad husks of human beings. Why is it pathetic for someone to pay for sex? It solves two needs. The person wanting sex is willing to pay for it. The one selling sex gets the money they want with no strings attached. Many marriages are basically a similar business arrangement. Everybody wants or needs something different out of a relationship. Very few people are the same. If there is a mutually accepted arrangement worked out between two or more people then that is their business and nobody elses. Many people just plain don't enjoy sex. Does that mean their partner, who DOES enjoy sex, should have to remain celibate? Not wanting to remain celibate is why I CHOOSE to remain single. I'm quite happy paying for sex, but I only choose partners who enjoy my company as well. And yes, I CAN tell a phony one from the real thing. And, don't tell me that ALL women who sell themselves don't enjoy sex. Many enjoy it much more than most wives. That is just one of the reasons they stay in the trade. And, nobody is rationalizing anything. They are both getting what they want or they wouldn't be doing it. As far as the original topic is concerned I personally would not be interested, but I can understand why some Thai couples do live with that arrangement. The family comes first and nobody wants to break it up. However, if there is no physical attraction remaining towards a spouse then I can see why someone might want a Mia Noi. What would be sad is if the Mia Noi really loves the man, but can never be with him except for a few brief moments together. Nobody likes having their heart broken. EXCELLENT REPLY!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
henryalleman Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 I've always thought it was pretty pathetic to pay a woman on a one night basis to have sex with you who really doesn't want to and is only interested in the money.But to have some pot bellied 50 year old have some kind of fake relationship with an attractive young woman over months or years, spending hundreds of thousand or millions of baht on a someone who is NOT interested in them is just unbelievable. I guess they rationalise it by saying that she DOES really like me, the payment for her car, her condo and the tens of thousands I give her every month are just incidental. She's poor and I just want to help her. Sad, sad husks of human beings. Why is it pathetic for someone to pay for sex? It solves two needs. The person wanting sex is willing to pay for it. The one selling sex gets the money they want with no strings attached. Many marriages are basically a similar business arrangement. Everybody wants or needs something different out of a relationship. Very few people are the same. If there is a mutually accepted arrangement worked out between two or more people then that is their business and nobody elses. Many people just plain don't enjoy sex. Does that mean their partner, who DOES enjoy sex, should have to remain celibate? Not wanting to remain celibate is why I CHOOSE to remain single. I'm quite happy paying for sex, but I only choose partners who enjoy my company as well. And yes, I CAN tell a phony one from the real thing. And, don't tell me that ALL women who sell themselves don't enjoy sex. Many enjoy it much more than most wives. That is just one of the reasons they stay in the trade. And, nobody is rationalizing anything. They are both getting what they want or they wouldn't be doing it. As far as the original topic is concerned I personally would not be interested, but I can understand why some Thai couples do live with that arrangement. The family comes first and nobody wants to break it up. However, if there is no physical attraction remaining towards a spouse then I can see why someone might want a Mia Noi. What would be sad is if the Mia Noi really loves the man, but can never be with him except for a few brief moments together. Nobody likes having their heart broken. I could not explain it better , you are an honorable and sensible man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cdnvic Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 I never had to buy a house for a H@@ker" Many a visitor to Thailand has. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cdnvic Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 I've always thought it was pretty pathetic to pay a woman on a one night basis to have sex with you who really doesn't want to and is only interested in the money Someone you give 2000 Baht to who pretends to like you for a night regardless of what kind of overweight, sweaty individual you are? You must not think much of hoteliers either The whole service industry is based on people who like you so long as you are paying, so best just to accept it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IanForbes Posted August 1, 2009 Share Posted August 1, 2009 I never had to buy a house for a H@@ker" Many a visitor to Thailand has. Oh so true... But, it's THEIR money to do with as they wish. Some people buy stocks in hedge funds with similar results. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garry9999 Posted August 3, 2009 Share Posted August 3, 2009 Sorry for this stupid question, I'm new here, but what is a "Mia Noi" ? From the answer, I can't figure out if it's a maid or a mistress. I had a colleague in Singapore who dumped his wife for his maid, so actually it can be both A Mia Noi is a Thai expression for what the western world calls a mistress. In Thailand it is sort of like a second wife but without the household chores and raising of children. The Mia Noi supposedly remains faithful to the man and he supports her in a manner fitting a lady of leisure. Prior to October 1, 1935 polygamy could be freely practiced and recognized under civil law in Thailand. The old family law divided wives into three categories, all in accordance of the way in which they would become wives. There were three categories for a polygamous marriage, the first called "Mia Glang Muang," who would be the "official wife" that the husband's parents had "acquired for him," the second known as "Mia Glang Norg," the "minor wife" whom the man attained after his first marriage, and the third, "Mia Glang Tasee," the title given to slave wives that were purchased from the mother and father of their prior owners. While polygamy has since been abolished, it is still very much alive in Thailand, and according to reports, widely accepted. Even still, such unions are not recognized under Thai law as in accordance with the law that states "A man or a woman cannot marry each other while one of them has a spouse. source http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polygamy_in_Thailand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thaihome Posted August 3, 2009 Share Posted August 3, 2009 What I find most interesting about the “mia noi” in Thailand is the fact that it is mostly widely practiced by men from polar opposite socio-economic classes. On one hand you have the migrant worker having a wife at home and with another family at the location of his work. On the other hand, you have the wealthy businessman that has setup a young, often uni educated, girl in an apt or condo with all the trappings of what someone else accurately called the “woman of leisure” lifestyle. The latter scenario being the fodder for numerous Thai soap operas. This thread sure shows the misconception that people have on what a mia noi is and what the relationship between the participants is. TH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garry9999 Posted August 3, 2009 Share Posted August 3, 2009 This thread sure shows the misconception that people have on what a mia noi is and what the relationship between the participants is.TH This forum sure shows the misconceptions that people have about Thai culture in general. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thaihome Posted August 3, 2009 Share Posted August 3, 2009 This thread sure shows the misconception that people have on what a mia noi is and what the relationship between the participants is.TH This forum sure shows the misconceptions that people have about Thai culture in general. I was trying to be nice… TH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottyd Posted August 3, 2009 Share Posted August 3, 2009 Anyone who want's a mia noi/gik/bit on the side needs their head looking at. By the amount of posts crying about Thai women on here, it is a wonder why anyone would want one, never mind two. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mauGR1 Posted August 3, 2009 Share Posted August 3, 2009 Anyone who want's a mia noi/gik/bit on the side needs their head looking at.By the amount of posts crying about Thai women on here, it is a wonder why anyone would want one, never mind two. double trouble Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanmiguellight Posted August 3, 2009 Share Posted August 3, 2009 (edited) This thread sure shows the misconception that people have on what a mia noi is and what the relationship between the participants is. Come on you can sugar coat a Mia Noi up in anyway shape or form you want but most men on here have a pretty clear understanding of what a Mia Noi relationship is for ....... if this werent the case surely Mia Noi's would also come in fatter older but with lovely personality varieties ... but the few ive known of are in the young, slim, slender and sexy af <deleted> department. My ex's niece was a Mia Noi, i asked her what the girls mother (her sister) thought of it and Mothers advice was for Mia Noi to get as much out of him as you can as quickly as possible ...... the neice was 23 and absolutely delightful to look at. Edited August 3, 2009 by sanmiguellight Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IanForbes Posted August 3, 2009 Share Posted August 3, 2009 I have to agree with sanmiguellight, but who cares WHAT the reasons are? It is a negotiated deal between the several people involved. There are dozens of valid reasons why a first marriage shouldn't break up and yet exist on a strictly platonic level. In such a case it's also understandable that the man might want someone special on the side as a Mia Noi. From the Mia Noi's perspective it means she doesn't have to worry financially, and she doesn't have to bounce from boyfriend to boyfriend searching for the impossible "Mr Right". And, there is nothing saying the Mia Noi won't go "looking" when her benefactor is at home with his first wife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keyjor Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 You're better off having a 'gik' - less maintenance. Find one with an overseas sponser is the best way forward...so a friend told me...ahem. Brilliant!! Superb. Definitely the way to go, so a friend told me, priceless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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