Being "waied"

[mauGR1]

Farang waiing Farang....such a sight!

It had never occurred to me until I read your post that this ever happens - I've consulted with mostly all Thais or mostly all farangs, but not in Thai-run companies, so there wasn't any impetus for farangs to wai much of anything and the Thai people seemed to have adapted to just waiing one another and not waiing us. Where is it that farangs are waiing farangs? Is this a bunch of teachers or students at a Buddhist retreat or something? I have to see this, heh.

Hi folks,here i am !

I always return a wai to my nice farang customers.You can come and see by yourself

Oh,ticket for the show is 500 B.

[MrJohnson]

As a foreigner, should one expect to receive a "wai" from Thai friends and family when being introduced the first time? (In this scenario the foreigner is clearly older than the people he is introduced to).

Also, if a wai is not shown, what conclusions can be drawn from this if any?

This post should be fun....every pseudo-thai on TV will be passing comment...

Well maybe the 'pseudo-thai' amongst us are at least interested enough in the topic to have taken the time to learn something about the complexities of the Wai instead of just trash talking the whole culture down. Personally it will be a welcome change. Let the cynics sit on the sideline and take cheap shots, 'cause that's all they are

[toybits]

Doing the Wai as Thais do it is very similar to Japanese performing the Bow.

Wai'ing somesome shows your status in relation to the other person. You could show that you consider yourself to be of equal status, superior or inferior in status. If you don't know the difference, then you might be making as as_s out of yourself. If you wai as an equal to someone who is clearly of higher status to you, you have just insulted the other person and kiss your future goodbye.

If you wai as an inferior to the other person who has lower status - you loose face.

If you are trying persuade someone to help you, you could wai as an inferior to someone who might be of equal or lower status than you.

If you want to play hard to get, you could act indifferently and give a very half-hearted wai.

In other words, it is rather a complicated thing. In comparison, my skin crawls when I get a lingering handshake from someone I just met. I prefer that handshake to be firm but brief.

[LennyW]

Wai's are for Thai's.

I think its funny to see Thai's wai each other whilst clutching a fistful of papers, mobile phone, briefcase etc!

[Tywais]

Some previous topics on this:

Wai-oh-Wai

Forced Waiing

Why the Wai

How to Wai - 102

When to Wai

Wai - Proper usage

and an oldie from 2004 > To "Wai" Or Not?

[Soutpeel]

Well maybe the 'pseudo-thai' amongst us are at least interested enough in the topic to have taken the time to learn something about the complexities of the Wai instead of just trash talking the whole culture down. Personally it will be a welcome change. Let the cynics sit on the sideline and take cheap shots, 'cause that's all they are

Well actually I have taken the time to learn something about the complexities of wai's and Thai culture in general have done some extensive courses and training in cross-cultural management in Thailand, so have had it basically from the horses mouth so to speak...Thai basically dont give a rats ar*e whether a farang wai's or not and are not offended in the least if a farang if doesnt follow "Thai cultural norms"

As was stated to me on these courses by a Thai national in a very senior position, you are an expat not Thai, we dont expect you know the "Thai cultural norms"....."Thai cultural norms" are for Thai's...

Before spouting off about people taking cheap shots, and suggesting people should take time to learn about another culture, suggest people should learn a few things about their own culture first...for example how many farangs on TV know the origin of the handshake ?, which is "western cultural norm"....again based on the above courses, this proved a big dicussion point amongst the Thai nationals of how the handshake came about....

In addtion, have a few friends and collegues who are Farangs who actually are Thai citizens, and their comment....dont worry about it...as to pseudo-thai label...again based on comments from these individual..."We are farangs, even though we are thai citizens, We will never be accepted as being fully "Thai"....why try and be something you are never going to be...

I personally dont try to slag off Thai culture, but what I do accept...Thai culture is for Thai's, ..so based on that I have no intention of trying to be a "pseudo-thai" and it would appear that some farangs who are actually are Thai citizens dont try to be "pseudo-Thai" either.

Think the main point is be yourself and stop trying to be something your not, and never will be...

[Tod Daniels]

While I am less than thrilled to side with Soutpeel (just as I am sure he's less than thrilled to have me side with him as well); I wholeheartedly agree with what he says in the previous post.

Having had the opportunity to meet many of the movers and shakers in thai politics, and in very powerful thai businesses as well; I never wai'd a single person a single time. However I didn't ever get the feeling from them that not wai'ing was perceived as the slightest bit disrespectful. In asking about the subject, to a person they said they have ZERO expectation of foreigners conforming to something they feel is intrinsically thai. We are not thought less of by not wai'ing nor are we thought more highly of because we do wai. It is really a non-issue with them. I know this will come as quite a shock to the posters on this forum, but most foreigners have no idea just how unimportant they really are in this country to these people. It also seems few people have any idea just how far plain old-fashioned common courtesy goes in dealing with other people; no matter their race, creed or color.

I am sure the foreign “color coordinated shirt and matching snazzy rubber bracelet wearing contingent” will crawl out of the woodwork on this thread (as they have on all the other wai'ing threads) to spout their rhetoric about the need to understand thai culture (an oxymoron if there ever was one) and/or thai tradition. I say to them; if you're that insecure in yourself and feel you must morph into some mythical "psuedo-thai " just to exist in and amongst these ever smiling, yet diminutive people, by all means, knock yourself out embracing your inner thai-ness.

What I find most vexing is the incessant wai'ing I see foreigners give every waiter, service staff, doorman, limbless beggar, and soi dog who crosses their path. That actually comes across as a crass and pathetic attempt to pretend to “fit in”. Believe me the thais just shake their heads at the lunacy most foreigners exhibit here anyway, why should you be thought of any differently, go ahead and wai 'til you die

My motto is and always has been; "wai's are for thais..", and I often ask wai crazed foreigners; "Why wai, are you thai?"

[Geekfreaklover]

While I am less than thrilled to side with Soutpeel (just as I am sure he's less than thrilled to have me side with him as well); I wholeheartedly agree with what he says in the previous post.

Having had the opportunity to meet many of the movers and shakers in thai politics, and in very powerful thai businesses as well; I never wai'd a single person a single time. However I didn't ever get the feeling from them that not wai'ing was perceived as the slightest bit disrespectful. In asking about the subject, to a person they said they have ZERO expectation of foreigners conforming to something they feel is intrinsically thai. We are not thought less of by not wai'ing nor are we thought more highly of because we do wai. It is really a non-issue with them. I know this will come as quite a shock to the posters on this forum, but most foreigners have no idea just how unimportant they really are in this country to these people. It also seems few people have any idea just how far plain old-fashioned common courtesy goes in dealing with other people; no matter their race, creed or color.

I am sure the foreign "color coordinated shirt and matching snazzy rubber bracelet wearing contingent" will crawl out of the woodwork on this thread (as they have on all the other wai'ing threads) to spout their rhetoric about the need to understand thai culture (an oxymoron if there ever was one) and/or thai tradition. I say to them; if you're that insecure in yourself and feel you must morph into some mythical "psuedo-thai " just to exist in and amongst these ever smiling, yet diminutive people, by all means, knock yourself out embracing your inner thai-ness.

What I find most vexing is the incessant wai'ing I see foreigners give every waiter, service staff, doorman, limbless beggar, and soi dog who crosses their path. That actually comes across as a crass and pathetic attempt to pretend to "fit in". Believe me the thais just shake their heads at the lunacy most foreigners exhibit here anyway, why should you be thought of any differently, go ahead and wai 'til you die

My motto is and always has been; "wai's are for thais..", and I often ask wai crazed foreigners; "Why wai, are you thai?"

Tod,

I have read your comments on this subject many times now, but have kept stum. Although I respect that it is your own preference how to move your own hands during your waking hours, it has to be taken into consideration that by simply moving your hands in a certain way, this motion will perhaps benefit your stay in Thailand. If a person of high standing wais you and you do not return the wai then that is very disrespectful. The same way as if you were living in the west and someone offered their hand for you to shake it and you refused to shake it.

Get your hands out of your arse and try a wai. You never know. You may like it.

[Soutpeel]

While I am less than thrilled to side with Soutpeel (just as I am sure he's less than thrilled to have me side with him as well); I wholeheartedly agree with what he says in the previous post.

Having had the opportunity to meet many of the movers and shakers in thai politics, and in very powerful thai businesses as well; I never wai'd a single person a single time. However I didn't ever get the feeling from them that not wai'ing was perceived as the slightest bit disrespectful. In asking about the subject, to a person they said they have ZERO expectation of foreigners conforming to something they feel is intrinsically thai. We are not thought less of by not wai'ing nor are we thought more highly of because we do wai. It is really a non-issue with them. I know this will come as quite a shock to the posters on this forum, but most foreigners have no idea just how unimportant they really are in this country to these people. It also seems few people have any idea just how far plain old-fashioned common courtesy goes in dealing with other people; no matter their race, creed or color.

I am sure the foreign "color coordinated shirt and matching snazzy rubber bracelet wearing contingent" will crawl out of the woodwork on this thread (as they have on all the other wai'ing threads) to spout their rhetoric about the need to understand thai culture (an oxymoron if there ever was one) and/or thai tradition. I say to them; if you're that insecure in yourself and feel you must morph into some mythical "psuedo-thai " just to exist in and amongst these ever smiling, yet diminutive people, by all means, knock yourself out embracing your inner thai-ness.

What I find most vexing is the incessant wai'ing I see foreigners give every waiter, service staff, doorman, limbless beggar, and soi dog who crosses their path. That actually comes across as a crass and pathetic attempt to pretend to "fit in". Believe me the thais just shake their heads at the lunacy most foreigners exhibit here anyway, why should you be thought of any differently, go ahead and wai 'til you die

My motto is and always has been; "wai's are for thais..", and I often ask wai crazed foreigners; "Why wai, are you thai?"

Tod,

I have read your comments on this subject many times now, but have kept stum. Although I respect that it is your own preference how to move your own hands during your waking hours, it has to be taken into consideration that by simply moving your hands in a certain way, this motion will perhaps benefit your stay in Thailand. If a person of high standing wais you and you do not return the wai then that is very disrespectful. The same way as if you were living in the west and someone offered their hand for you to shake it and you refused to shake it.

Get your hands out of your arse and try a wai. You never know. You may like it.

As much as I hate to side with Tod ....Geek think you are missing the point, nobody either myself or Tod is suggesting that you dont wai, if wai'ed to...Wai, the point is its not expected, it doesnt gain you or lose you any "points" with anybody....Although I dont move in the refined circles Tod moves in, I have had occasion to be in the same room as some very "powerful" goverment Thai nationals at an engineering conference in BKK, were I did a presentation and after the presentation said persons came up to me and shook my hand... ....not a wai in sight, except between Thai's.

[Moonrakers]

I rarely Wai myself. It's not as though I have anything against it, but it just doesn't often seem appropriate. Even in business Thai's seem to prefer to greet me with a handshake rather than a wai.

[Geekfreaklover]

I rarely Wai myself. It's not as though I have anything against it, but it just doesn't often seem appropriate. Even in business Thai's seem to prefer to greet me with a handshake rather than a wai.

I know what you are saying. But if in a business meeting the prospective client waied you. Would you return the wai? Or refuse to do so on principle and potentially miss out on the deal?

[Moonrakers]

I rarely Wai myself. It's not as though I have anything against it, but it just doesn't often seem appropriate. Even in business Thai's seem to prefer to greet me with a handshake rather than a wai.

I know what you are saying. But if in a business meeting the prospective client waied you. Would you return the wai? Or refuse to do so on principle and potentially miss out on the deal?

Of course. If I was waied to then I would return the Wai whenever appropriate.

Edited August 1, 2009 by Moonrakers

[Geekfreaklover]

While I am less than thrilled to side with Soutpeel (just as I am sure he's less than thrilled to have me side with him as well); I wholeheartedly agree with what he says in the previous post.

Having had the opportunity to meet many of the movers and shakers in thai politics, and in very powerful thai businesses as well; I never wai'd a single person a single time. However I didn't ever get the feeling from them that not wai'ing was perceived as the slightest bit disrespectful. In asking about the subject, to a person they said they have ZERO expectation of foreigners conforming to something they feel is intrinsically thai. We are not thought less of by not wai'ing nor are we thought more highly of because we do wai. It is really a non-issue with them. I know this will come as quite a shock to the posters on this forum, but most foreigners have no idea just how unimportant they really are in this country to these people. It also seems few people have any idea just how far plain old-fashioned common courtesy goes in dealing with other people; no matter their race, creed or color.

I am sure the foreign "color coordinated shirt and matching snazzy rubber bracelet wearing contingent" will crawl out of the woodwork on this thread (as they have on all the other wai'ing threads) to spout their rhetoric about the need to understand thai culture (an oxymoron if there ever was one) and/or thai tradition. I say to them; if you're that insecure in yourself and feel you must morph into some mythical "psuedo-thai " just to exist in and amongst these ever smiling, yet diminutive people, by all means, knock yourself out embracing your inner thai-ness.

What I find most vexing is the incessant wai'ing I see foreigners give every waiter, service staff, doorman, limbless beggar, and soi dog who crosses their path. That actually comes across as a crass and pathetic attempt to pretend to "fit in". Believe me the thais just shake their heads at the lunacy most foreigners exhibit here anyway, why should you be thought of any differently, go ahead and wai 'til you die

My motto is and always has been; "wai's are for thais..", and I often ask wai crazed foreigners; "Why wai, are you thai?"

Tod,

I have read your comments on this subject many times now, but have kept stum. Although I respect that it is your own preference how to move your own hands during your waking hours, it has to be taken into consideration that by simply moving your hands in a certain way, this motion will perhaps benefit your stay in Thailand. If a person of high standing wais you and you do not return the wai then that is very disrespectful. The same way as if you were living in the west and someone offered their hand for you to shake it and you refused to shake it.

Get your hands out of your arse and try a wai. You never know. You may like it.

As much as I hate to side with Tod ....Geek think you are missing the point, nobody either myself or Tod is suggesting that you dont wai, if wai'ed to...Wai, the point is its not expected, it doesnt gain you or lose you any "points" with anybody....Although I dont move in the refined circles Tod moves in, I have had occasion to be in the same room as some very "powerful" goverment Thai nationals at an engineering conference in BKK, were I did a presentation and after the presentation said persons came up to me and shook my hand... ....not a wai in sight, except between Thai's.

Yeah, I think that is crux. If someones wais' then it is impolite not to return the gesture.

If they offer a handshake then shake their hand.

[Soutpeel]

I rarely Wai myself. It's not as though I have anything against it, but it just doesn't often seem appropriate. Even in business Thai's seem to prefer to greet me with a handshake rather than a wai.

I know what you are saying. But if in a business meeting the prospective client waied you. Would you return the wai? Or refuse to do so on principle and potentially miss out on the deal?

Personally, I would, if the client waied, I would wai back, but think you will find in most business situations where there are farangs and Thai's involved, the handshake between the parties is the MO, certainly, between the senior people in the room.

"Junior" thai nationals involved in the discussions will generally wai both parties, and in cases like this Farang follows the senior Thai's lead, if he wai's back, you wai...if senior Thai nods to accept the wai, Farang does the same...

Again with reference to the courses I was on, part of training was for the Thai nationals to teach the Farangs how to wai properly, but strangely enough we spent more time teaching the Thai nationals how to "handshake" properly, as per their request, and we spent a long time, showing the difference between a "limp wristed" handshake, firm business handshake and a "buddy" type handshake...

[Tod Daniels]

I can probably count on both hands the number of foreigners I've shaken hands with in over 4 years of living here. Of course; possibly walking with a cane firmly grasped in my right hand could have the effect of cluing most people in to the fact that I'm not gonna balance without it for the sake of a frickin' handshake. Not surprisingly, it also stops most people from even offering their hand to me in the first place; thereby eliminating any awkwardness they might feel at my declining their proffered hand.

I can also count on one hand (with 4 fingers and my thumb left over) the number of "high standing thais" (whoever these mythical and elusive people are) who've ever wai'd me first, so I'm safe in that regard too. I didn’t mean to infer from my post that if a wai was given by someone in a position of authority that you should ignore it. I only stated that in my experience I’ve never been wai’d by someone in a position I perceived as high enough to even warrant me pondering if I should wai them back or not. Sadly and much to my chagrin , I run in much lower circles of refinement that the illustrious poster Soutpeel believes. I am most definitely “kon-dit-din”คนติดดิน ("person stuck to the ground" i.e.: common man).

As far as benefiting my stay in the glorious "Land 'O Thais"; I've yet to see the quality of my stay and/or the enjoyment I get from this country impacted by what I do or do not do in regard to most thai traditions and/or customs (while I acknowledge my posts may not reflect it; I DO get great enjoyment living here). As I said in my previous post, plain old-fashioned common courtesy doesn't take a college degree. Being polite or at least deferential is something I strive for in social interactions with thais (and most foreigners too).

There are some definite advantages in being a foreigner here. You are always outside the highly regimented "social ladder" (the game called; "I am more influential, rich, powerful, or at least look like it than you do"). This is a game all the inhabitants here adhere to so rigorously, without question. I am thankfully excluded from those ‘games’ at no detriment to either my wellbeing or sense of self-worth. I can accept some actions or ingrained behavioral patterns as simply "things thais do"; without feeling the slightest need to 'ape' or even conform to those actions.

Wheew !! Thanx “Greekfreaklover”, you had me worried I was "off the proverbial rails" in my thinking. It’s good to know, after some quiet reflection, I see I'm right where I should be.

And just to show you I'm not totally insensitive here:

[beerchang]

As I stated before...follow the Thais, they have a tad more experience of when wai'ing is required. I always return a wai and I always, be it first or after receiving a wai, wai customers at my restaurant. Politeness and a smile are essential though.

Recently a farang who'd left me feeling a bit peeved a while ago came up to me and offered to shake hands, which I refused. How'd you think he felt? Same same if you don't return a wai IMO. But 'familiar' Thai friends and I don't wai each other unless we haven't seen each other for a while. Follow the Thais lead, simple.

The OP asked if he should be wai'ed when first meeting family members and the answer to that is yes. He should be. If not, then he's not getting any 'respect' from them.

A lot of Thais like to handshake nowadays and that can be funny...I wai as they put a hand out...so I quickly put a hand out as they quickly wai...always creates laughter.

The long winter evenings just fly by!

[zzaa09]

Farang tink tu mutt......

[kblaze]

As I stated before...follow the Thais, they have a tad more experience of when wai'ing is required. I always return a wai and I always, be it first or after receiving a wai, wai customers at my restaurant. Politeness and a smile are essential though.

Recently a farang who'd left me feeling a bit peeved a while ago came up to me and offered to shake hands, which I refused. How'd you think he felt? Same same if you don't return a wai IMO. But 'familiar' Thai friends and I don't wai each other unless we haven't seen each other for a while. Follow the Thais lead, simple.

The OP asked if he should be wai'ed when first meeting family members and the answer to that is yes. He should be. If not, then he's not getting any 'respect' from them.

A lot of Thais like to handshake nowadays and that can be funny...I wai as they put a hand out...so I quickly put a hand out as they quickly wai...always creates laughter.

The long winter evenings just fly by!

hey what do you know the OP finally got a clear answer

[Geekfreaklover]

I can probably count on both hands the number of foreigners I've shaken hands with in over 4 years of living here. Of course; possibly walking with a cane firmly grasped in my right hand could have the effect of cluing most people in to the fact that I'm not gonna balance without it for the sake of a frickin' handshake. Not surprisingly, it also stops most people from even offering their hand to me in the first place; thereby eliminating any awkwardness they might feel at my declining their proffered hand.

I can also count on one hand (with 4 fingers and my thumb left over) the number of "high standing thais" (whoever these mythical and elusive people are) who've ever wai'd me first, so I'm safe in that regard too. I didn't mean to infer from my post that if a wai was given by someone in a position of authority that you should ignore it. I only stated that in my experience I've never been wai'd by someone in a position I perceived as high enough to even warrant me pondering if I should wai them back or not. Sadly and much to my chagrin , I run in much lower circles of refinement that the illustrious poster Soutpeel believes. I am most definitely "kon-dit-din"คนติดดิน ("person stuck to the ground" i.e.: common man).

As far as benefiting my stay in the glorious "Land 'O Thais"; I've yet to see the quality of my stay and/or the enjoyment I get from this country impacted by what I do or do not do in regard to most thai traditions and/or customs (while I acknowledge my posts may not reflect it; I DO get great enjoyment living here). As I said in my previous post, plain old-fashioned common courtesy doesn't take a college degree. Being polite or at least deferential is something I strive for in social interactions with thais (and most foreigners too).

There are some definite advantages in being a foreigner here. You are always outside the highly regimented "social ladder" (the game called; "I am more influential, rich, powerful, or at least look like it than you do"). This is a game all the inhabitants here adhere to so rigorously, without question. I am thankfully excluded from those 'games' at no detriment to either my wellbeing or sense of self-worth. I can accept some actions or ingrained behavioral patterns as simply "things thais do"; without feeling the slightest need to 'ape' or even conform to those actions.

Wheew !! Thanx "Greekfreaklover", you had me worried I was "off the proverbial rails" in my thinking. It's good to know, after some quiet reflection, I see I'm right where I should be.

And just to show you I'm not totally insensitive here:

Cheers tod, That means a lot to me big boy.

[TAWP]

As a foreigner, should one expect to receive a "wai" from Thai friends and family when being introduced the first time? (In this scenario the foreigner is clearly older than the people he is introduced to).

Also, if a wai is not shown, what conclusions can be drawn from this if any?

If they did no attempt to wai you and didn't exchange the wai for a firm handshake and a smile, then they clearly don't like you.

Farang waiing Farang....such a sight!

Well, a non-thai wai'ing a non-thai can happen and nothing is wrong with that, especially if it happens in Thailand.

[beerchang]

As I stated before...follow the Thais, they have a tad more experience of when wai'ing is required. I always return a wai and I always, be it first or after receiving a wai, wai customers at my restaurant. Politeness and a smile are essential though.

Recently a farang who'd left me feeling a bit peeved a while ago came up to me and offered to shake hands, which I refused. How'd you think he felt? Same same if you don't return a wai IMO. But 'familiar' Thai friends and I don't wai each other unless we haven't seen each other for a while. Follow the Thais lead, simple.

The OP asked if he should be wai'ed when first meeting family members and the answer to that is yes. He should be. If not, then he's not getting any 'respect' from them.

A lot of Thais like to handshake nowadays and that can be funny...I wai as they put a hand out...so I quickly put a hand out as they quickly wai...always creates laughter.

The long winter evenings just fly by!

hey what do you know the OP finally got a clear answer

[ukrules]

Farang waiing Farang....such a sight!

It wouldn't happen if it was me. I've never wai'd anyone, then again I'm not Thai so it's not expected.

This would be different if I was representing a company dealing with other Thai companies, but I'm not so I don't.

[beerchang]

Farang waiing Farang....such a sight!

It wouldn't happen if it was me. I've never wai'd anyone, then again I'm not Thai so it's not expected.

This would be different if I was representing a company dealing with other Thai companies, but I'm not so I don't.

Never wai'ed anyone? Then I consider you a edur drawkcab reknaw. Plus I find it unbelievable that you've never wai'ed 'anyone'. You ever been to Thailand?

[IMA_FARANG]

As a foreigner, should one expect to receive a "wai" from Thai friends and family when being introduced the first time? (In this scenario the foreigner is clearly older than the people he is introduced to).

Also, if a wai is not shown, what conclusions can be drawn from this if any?

I'm not an "expert" on the wai, this is just just my humble opinion.

You should not expect a wai from friends and family when you meet them for the first time. However if it comes, return it politely.

My Thai girlfriend taught all her children to wai me when they were children. It was out of respect for me. As they became adults, the wais became less frequent. I still ocasionally get a wai from them however, which I acknowledge with a brief return wai.

I rarely start the wai process, but I have waied my girlfriend's father or mother before when I was introduced to them.

The family is an "old school" Thai family, and a wai is just the way they greet each other. My girlfriend was taught to wai all her elders when she was young.

There is a whole cultural proticol of who wais who and how, that as a Farang, I don't pretend to understand. I think most Thais understand that Farangs may not know the protocol, and don't expect a wai from a foriegner. So I don't force the issue. However if I am given one, I will respond in kind.

The one thing I will do is always wai a Buddhist monk as a greeting. It is a point of respect to the monks.

If you don't recieve a wai from a Thai, it may just be because they aren't sure how the wai will be recieved, and they would rather not make you "lose face" by replying inapropriately to their wai.

[thaiman]

Thanks all for posting. thanks for the pm, noise. after reading all the posts I've come to the conclusion that the "wai" is really a non-issue concerning foreigners.

[TopDogger]

I've come to the conclusion that the "wai" is really a non-issue concerning foreigners.

Foreigners that Thai's have no respect for yeah...

Saying that tho, some Thai's don't like foreigners in general and will not wai unless it's absolutely required. Others have no beef with foreigners and probably don't really expect a wai in return unless they realise you've been over here for quite some time, but will wai you out of protocol.

Edited August 1, 2009 by TopDogger

[sbk]

Don't you think it depends on who you are associating with as well?

I am waied by the younger members of my husband's family on a regular basis. They treat me as, gasp and shock, a member of the family and therefore worthy of the same respect as any other member of the family older than themselves. Do I return the courtesy with family members older than myself? Of course.

That said, you do not wai someone you see on a regular basis. But, if I am at one of the multitude of funerals or weddings and I am introduced to an older relative, I always wai. When I am introduced to a younger family member, I am always waied to.

Except for my husband's brother's brother-in-law (younger brother of my husband's brother's wife). He waied to my husband, gave me a nod of the head and got a smack from my husband's aunt to wai me as well. He then waied me in a most respectful manner

[somluck]

Now for the difficult part....different types of wai

How to Wai

The wai may a method of showing respect in different degrees. It is done as follows.The lower the head bowed to meet the thumbs of both hands which are pressed palms together with fingers pointed up in a praye like position, the greater the respect being shown. There are four basic positions with each having many variances.

1. Hands close to the body with fingertips reaching to about neck level but not above the chin. This position is used between equals or between strangers who are not yet aware of each others social positions.

2. Hands close to the body with fingertips reaching to about neck level as in position #1 or lower with head straight or slightly inclined is used by a superior returing the wai to an inferior.

3. Head lowered so that fingertips are above the tip of the nose is used by an inferior showing respect to a superior.

4. Forehead lowered to base of the thumbs and lowered body is the position used to show respect to the King, monks, temples, statues and spirit houses.

[mca]

I am waied by the younger members of my husband's family on a regular basis. They treat me as, gasp and shock, a member of the family and therefore worthy of the same respect as any other member of the family older than themselves. Do I return the courtesy with family members older than myself? Of course.

In a nutshell. To them I'm not Thai/westerner whatever. To me they're not Thai/westerner either. They're my family of many years. In this situation the opinions of the "I'm not Thai why should I wai/Farangs look stupid when they wai" brigade matter about as much as flies on a buffalo's arse.

[Tod Daniels]

Farang waiing Farang....such a sight!

It wouldn't happen if it was me. I've never wai'd anyone, then again I'm not Thai so it's not expected.

This would be different if I was representing a company dealing with other Thai companies, but I'm not so I don't.

Never wai'ed anyone? Then I consider you a edur drawkcab reknaw. Plus I find it unbelievable that you've never wai'ed 'anyone'. You ever been to Thailand?

I've been here over 4 years; so far never wai'd a single person, probably never will. ..

From your post, my question is

Are you:

1. trying to make a point?

2. showing us just how much you’ve embraced your “thai-ness”?

3. attempting to impress us with your obviously superior intellectual grasp on the inner workings of things in the glorious "Land 'O Thais"?

4. none of the above?

Another question to you is; have YOU ever been to thailand?