Why Would She Do This?

[saintofsilence]

Edited August 8, 2009 by saintofsilence

[JasonM]

Also Thai(s) in general don't like giving someone bad news, so they avoid it. So I wouldnt be surprised if you never hear from her again!

Yeah that's one good quality about thai's. Instead of ending a relationship as friends or tell a reason, lets get our boyfriends worried sick first! I almost travelled back to thailand as i thought something has happened to her. What did she expect? That i would automaticly know that the girl who said "i love you" on the phone 1 week ago suddenly decides "Well this is it! We are finished!"

I cannot do anything but laugh about this situation, it is so weird for me. Gonna ask for reason and why this cannot end like friends. And if it is something i did. So if she has any empathy for me she will answer. If she is the she-devil from hel_l who likes to slay farang then she wont answer.

She is 28 years old, a mature woman. Why the heck she break up a relationship like she is 14 years old? I think i will never understand thai women. They are like a own specie. You can write thousands of articles on them and still not understand them. My problem now is how the heck am i gonna date a farang woman ? No woman can match a thai woman.

"Me wash your clothes ok? You sleep! You can sleep alone 5 minutes? You not die ok?"

"You want sex? Ok i give you sex now!"

So many hilarious situations, i have laughed my ass off so many times falling down on the floor and struggling to breath. They say so many funny things. Its so cute ...

[MikeRay]

My guess is that she was set under pressure by her mom. You didn´t get the money as fast expected and mommy told her to look for someonelse as you we´re not "able to take good care for her" + family. 50K Baht is alot if a Thai man would have given that money, but many Thaipeople think 50K Baht is peanuts for us.

Just my 2 cents.

[yeesipha]

The word long fraud springs to mind ,ie shes building your trust up and then she wants to wac you wre it hurts, in your wallet.

then if that fails the emotional blackmail might just come,

Wait and see.

[Harcourt]

The cynics may be right.... but I think not.

I think that this is a classic example of men not understanding women, no matter what country you are in.

[Datsun240Z]

Look familiar?

[Datsun240Z]

Also Thai(s) in general don't like giving someone bad news, so they avoid it. So I wouldnt be surprised if you never hear from her again!

She is 28 years old, a mature woman. Why the heck she break up a relationship like she is 14 years old? I think i will never understand thai women. They are like a own specie. You can write thousands of articles on them and still not understand them

That's true, but mostly like said, the girl is put under pressure by the family. That's the sickening of dating a girlf from a 3rd world country. Get used to it.

[retiredusn]

If you go back to her, just have the money ready to build a new house and then get sh-- canned again. Drop it and move on...............

[dondraper]

5 month of sex for 50k...

you got a good deal.

[losworld]

Why can't these good Thai actors get on the Thai soaps? You have been conned 100 percent. What I can't understand is that when she became angry and you left for the hotel why did you not stop the transfer?

Looks like she made up with you just in time to get the transfer through.

There are plenty of women in T'land and if they ask for money in such a way move on. Don't get too involved and keep in the back of your mind that you may be dealing with a grifter but let her prove otherwise.

Edited August 9, 2009 by losworld

[dondraper]

timeline:

money arrives.

"we is finished"

Op is still confused.

[losworld]

Also Thai(s) in general don't like giving someone bad news, so they avoid it. So I wouldnt be surprised if you never hear from her again!

Yeah that's one good quality about thai's. Instead of ending a relationship as friends or tell a reason, lets get our boyfriends worried sick first! I almost travelled back to thailand as i thought something has happened to her. What did she expect? That i would automaticly know that the girl who said "i love you" on the phone 1 week ago suddenly decides "Well this is it! We are finished!"

I cannot do anything but laugh about this situation, it is so weird for me. Gonna ask for reason and why this cannot end like friends. And if it is something i did. So if she has any empathy for me she will answer. If she is the she-devil from hel_l who likes to slay farang then she wont answer.

She is 28 years old, a mature woman. Why the heck she break up a relationship like she is 14 years old? I think i will never understand thai women. They are like a own specie. You can write thousands of articles on them and still not understand them. My problem now is how the heck am i gonna date a farang woman ? No woman can match a thai woman.

"Me wash your clothes ok? You sleep! You can sleep alone 5 minutes? You not die ok?"

"You want sex? Ok i give you sex now!"

So many hilarious situations, i have laughed my ass off so many times falling down on the floor and struggling to breath. They say so many funny things. Its so cute ...

Nice to see you are not too tainted. Take it for what it is worth. You may simply want to pay for play from this point. I'd try and find a Thai woman that is not actively seeking a falang and take it from there.

[daoyai]

Sounds like a classic "textbook" case, set the hook with sweetness, arrange the payoff without really asking, when she senses resistence (the delayed transfer) the anger, threat of loss of love, payout completed, story over. 50,000 Bt. tuition to the school of love. The question now is did you learn anything? Trust take long time to build, 5 mos. is "short time".

[garyh]

"Why Would She Do This?"

Because she can!

[Ulysses G.]

If in fact she has tricked me it is impossible for anyone to be safe with a thai woman. Because if she is so clever that she waits many months for asking about money, she can cry about you, show you to her family, let you become good friends with her friends and THEN give you the finger.

She used you like a snot rag and then threw you away.

I remember a BG that I knew well many years ago. She always said that she would always shag young guys for free because they would then fall in love with her and she could get much more cash out of them. This one sounds of the same type.

Edited August 9, 2009 by Ulysses G.

[meandwi]

Not thinking about the money, but wondering more if she pretended to like me. Hope she gives me answer tomorrow. If she met someone else fine ! She angry with me and has doubts fine! I am ok with all those reasons, its her life, her decisions. But if she has been playing a game then something is very wrong with this girl, since she was so against girls like this. I have to find out so i know what to watch out for next time. But i will be trapped next time just as easy, how the heck can you believe someone is lying when they have tears down theyre chin and say they love you so much? Its impossible. If she has been playing me i cant be with a thai woman period, i can never trust em.

I don't think she was playing you at all. If she introduced you to her parents, she had every intention in continuing a relationship with you. Now that the parents are involved, you were put to a test.

"WILL YOU BE ABLE TO SUPPORT OUR DAUGHTER? TEST". $1500 US is an amount that can be easily withdrawn from any ATM on any day. You had a problem obtaining the funds, this scared her and proved to her parents that you are not financially capable of taking care of their cherished daughter. THEY decided, you failed their test.

I am sure she still has feelings for you. She had high hopes that you were the one. Now her parents have said "NO".

I was put through the same test. (To prove my financial qualifications). So, yes, I know abit about what you are going through.

Now, YOU will have to prove to her and her parents that you will be able to give her a good life with financial stability. Prove to her that you own a home. Prove to her that you have a good paying job. Prove to her that you have at least a years salary in the bank. Then you will win her back and recieve her parents approval.

Love will overcome all walls.

meandwi

[samran]

I still cant figure out why someone would hand over 50K to someone they barely knew. Hey, but that is just me

Lesson learnt. Move on.

[daoyai]

My ATM is limited to about $350. per day. , maybe the parents are "involved" unfortunately, there are much better ways to "test" for financial ability.

[NanLaew]

Nobody has asked the obvious questions of where you met and what was her job? Usually that gets a whole lotta puerile, vulgar and bigoted posts (and keeps the Mods busy) but I for one would like to know. I won't pass personal judgement on your response either (though others may).

But either way, close the door on this one NOW.

Because when she suddenly makes contact with you in about 2 months time saying she is pregnant, you won't have any problem pretending you haven't a clue who she is. When she calls again, crying and apologizing for HER mistakes and begging you to forgive her... that's the signal to change your phone number. Then, when she tries to up the ante by threatening to kill herself or make problem for you... she will get the standard "We're sorry but the number you dialed has been disconnected or is no longer in service."

You do that Grasshopper Jason, and you will be one-step closer to graduating from WBU.

[jackr]

She's shafted you pure and simple. That she had tears rolling down here face and saying she loved you means nada. It can be turned on and off at will by most. In future don't moddy-coddle them, their values are different to a farang's and they walk all over weakness (not talking about bashing, that's for cowards)... Thai guys, as a rule, don't run around their women. Try picking one that's not scared to stand up to their bleeding parents. Finally, chalk it up and move on. It'd never work out nicely, she's not a good un.

[Hawkup2000]

Many girls, Thai or not, are like a kaleidoscope. Totally irrational, and always changing. I think you should take your time to get over this and in the end try to be grateful that you didn't marry her and that the bill for this experience only ended with 50.000 Baht and a broken heart.

[ThaiBasil]

- not sure how old you guys are but maybe she is too young and a bit confused? (Perhaps you too?)

- maybe the culture gap was in the end too big?

- maybe her parents got involved saying you were no good as in you couldn't provide the money as soon as they wanted (perhaps that's why she got angry too)

- maybe the whole thing wasn't meant to be from start

[SMEEERE]

Well for a start this means nothing to them,"I am a young guy, very fit, healthy and had several normal relationships in the US " you can be a fat 60s pile and they will do the same, they do not discriminate, harder for youngsters though isnt it,.

[toptuan]

It cost me a whole lot more than 50,000 baht to learn a valuable lesson from my two Canadian marriages that ended in divorce. Try 9 million baht! And, then have to split that after a year because some law says you have to share equally. Nothing is fair in break-ups. It is better to learn your lessons when you are young and not repeat the same mistakes over and over. Be happy that is all you lost. 50 k is the price of a nice Honda scooter. Consider it a gift to your ex girlfriend. The emotional scars will eventually heal and you'll be better off for it in the long run.

Good advice.

Consider the 50K an "idiot tax" (many of us, including myself, have been there), and move on...

[jtp]

WOW,all i can say is there are a lot of guys on this site that have been in some pretty messed up relationships with messed up Thai women....Have any of you ever had the same problems in your home countries...?Hmmmm. How much would you spend on a lady of the same nationality as yourself,but the minute a Thai lady wishes to be supported(With peanuts,i made add)you all jump up and say "Oh evil Thai lady,must be bargirl,must be cheat me"...........!

[SMEEERE]

She's shafted you pure and simple. That she had tears rolling down here face and saying she loved you means nada. It can be turned on and off at will by most. In future don't moddy-coddle them, their values are different to a farang's and they walk all over weakness (not talking about bashing, that's for cowards)... Thai guys, as a rule, don't run around their women. Try picking one that's not scared to stand up to their bleeding parents. Finally, chalk it up and move on. It'd never work out nicely, she's not a good un.

Spot on , my friend and i were seeing a friend off at the airport, there was a young attractive thai girl seeing off a very plump 60ish guy, she was crying on his shoulder ,she saw us looking and smiled, ,better yet as we walked out to get a taxi shes coming out and says to us " you go pattaya " ,yes we say, next thing shes sharing the taxi with us and on our arrival at the hotel she and my friend go check out the veiw from the hotel room, true story,. Edited August 9, 2009 by SMEEERE

[Beardog]

Sorry to hear about your loss- fortunately you are young & will be able to move on & recoup your funds at a later time.

Thailand can be a land of tricksters & your mind can be the most active ingredient in the deceit.

There are 100's upon hundreds of women that will have you Just like in The U.S. you have to be very careful who you select . I don't want to stereotype most Thai women , but it sure does seem most are on the take due to low economic means. If you think about it though if you got it going on in the U.S. There is no shortage on ladies that will help delete your funds & leave you hanging.

I have been with my Gal over 5 years now- although we both consider ourselves married. I wouldn't rush into getting married in the U.S.(been there once) & I sure wouldn't do it here.

You do have to watch out for the girls that are seasoned takers - An ample supply up here.

As said before the Thai forums are the best way to hear a million tales of woe, so you maybe can keep focused on not becoming one of the tales.

Remember the old saying if it sounds to good to be true it most likely is a pipe dream.

Best way to experience Thailand women is to take it slow & avoid quick flash love stories. Better in a Robbins novel :at the end it's not you. Thailand has a saying Love to much & from that I gather like at home in any country the one that is in love the hardest is the one that loses the most.

Try Again. At least this next round you have hands on experience what not to do.

Edited August 9, 2009 by Beardog

[Gr123]

she love your money.......

I am a young guy, very fit, healthy and had several normal relationships in the US.

I've been with a thai girl for 5 months and it got very serious. She wanted to marrie me in the end and we have had fun all the time. Last month i stayed with her the entire month to see if we can live together. And we were perfect together. We had alot of discussions where both feared each other breaking the others heart. But i made sure if she had any problem with me, she could speak with me. Call me whatever, i can help her. I want to provide for her.

She didnt ask for anything these months except the last two weeks.

I already knew she owned a land and that she was planning to get a house for her mother and herself since she lives a bit poor with my girlfriends sister. So i was happy to provide her that last 50 000 baht she needed to complete the payment for the land. She made sure i didnt have to do this and also said she could pay me back. But i was happy to do this since i have met her family and want to help.

All my life i have lived good, i like helping people and dont care about myself.

I was waiting for my salary to come from the US but it took some days. She got angry since she said her mother expected the money and i said several times i have done what i can, now its up to the bank to transfer. I cannot make it go faster. She got really angry and acted kinda disappointed about me. This made me furious, why are you angry at me when all i do is help you? There is not one bad feeling in my entire body. She was angry like this for 2 days and in the end i got fed up and said i was leaving to stay at hotel for 1 day to think about this. I really didnt like how she acted, felt like i was beeing tricked.

Next day i kinda felt what if i have misjudged the situation? So i contacted her again and she cried and said she was sorry. She was heartbroken over me leaving and hadnt slept all night. She was like a zombie. I felt bad and said i was sorry and she also apologized.

The next days she wasnt herself and i felt she was still thinking of our fight. She started crying suddenly when we went out for dinner.

The day after i went back to the US since i had to work and now suddenly she didnt contact me as she used to before when i was home. I had to call her and often she was unavailable and used "Busy working" as an apology. So i felt something was wrong but she said i love you on phone so i kinda didnt think more of it.

Then suddenly for 1 week i couldnt call her, she didnt pick up phone or answer my messages. I got a friend who lives in Thailand to call her to see if she was ignoring me. And she answered, my friend said i was worried about her. Then she responded "Me and him is finished!" in a angry voice.

How would you guys think about this situation? I have asked many about this, mostly farang and they have bad experienced with thai from before. So they obviously say i have been tricked. But the money for the land i was with her when she paid it completely, so i know she didnt use it for something else. And she has never asked for anything beyond this. Should i think she may have tricked me? Or can it be our fight which resulted in she not trusting me anymore?

I have a hard time accepting that she has tricked me, i dont believe this. She hated girls like that, we spoke about thai farang relationships often because i was afraid of just this when we met.

She also wanted to marrie me and come with me to the US so yeah, i am confused. This was last monday, she has not called me or sent any text messages about reason yet. I am planning to send her a text message tomorrow on sunday to see if i can get a reason. I still love her very much, i saw a future with her. And i could definetaly give her a very good life.

Any opinions on this? Especially from thai people? Would greatly appreciate it.

[mrtoad]

I still cant figure out why someone would hand over 50K to someone they barely knew. Hey, but that is just me

Lesson learnt. Move on.

I think it's called thinking with your dick, rather than your brain.

[MEGALITHIC]

I am a young guy, very fit, healthy and had several normal relationships in the US.

I've been with a thai girl for 5 months and it got very serious. She wanted to marrie me in the end and we have had fun all the time. Last month i stayed with her the entire month to see if we can live together. And we were perfect together. We had alot of discussions where both feared each other breaking the others heart. But i made sure if she had any problem with me, she could speak with me. Call me whatever, i can help her. I want to provide for her.

She didnt ask for anything these months except the last two weeks.

I already knew she owned a land and that she was planning to get a house for her mother and herself since she lives a bit poor with my girlfriends sister. So i was happy to provide her that last 50 000 baht she needed to complete the payment for the land. She made sure i didnt have to do this and also said she could pay me back. But i was happy to do this since i have met her family and want to help.

All my life i have lived good, i like helping people and dont care about myself.

I was waiting for my salary to come from the US but it took some days. She got angry since she said her mother expected the money and i said several times i have done what i can, now its up to the bank to transfer. I cannot make it go faster. She got really angry and acted kinda disappointed about me. This made me furious, why are you angry at me when all i do is help you? There is not one bad feeling in my entire body. She was angry like this for 2 days and in the end i got fed up and said i was leaving to stay at hotel for 1 day to think about this. I really didnt like how she acted, felt like i was beeing tricked.

Next day i kinda felt what if i have misjudged the situation? So i contacted her again and she cried and said she was sorry. She was heartbroken over me leaving and hadnt slept all night. She was like a zombie. I felt bad and said i was sorry and she also apologized.

The next days she wasnt herself and i felt she was still thinking of our fight. She started crying suddenly when we went out for dinner.

The day after i went back to the US since i had to work and now suddenly she didnt contact me as she used to before when i was home. I had to call her and often she was unavailable and used "Busy working" as an apology. So i felt something was wrong but she said i love you on phone so i kinda didnt think more of it.

Then suddenly for 1 week i couldnt call her, she didnt pick up phone or answer my messages. I got a friend who lives in Thailand to call her to see if she was ignoring me. And she answered, my friend said i was worried about her. Then she responded "Me and him is finished!" in a angry voice.

How would you guys think about this situation? I have asked many about this, mostly farang and they have bad experienced with thai from before. So they obviously say i have been tricked. But the money for the land i was with her when she paid it completely, so i know she didnt use it for something else. And she has never asked for anything beyond this. Should i think she may have tricked me? Or can it be our fight which resulted in she not trusting me anymore?

I have a hard time accepting that she has tricked me, i dont believe this. She hated girls like that, we spoke about thai farang relationships often because i was afraid of just this when we met.

She also wanted to marrie me and come with me to the US so yeah, i am confused. This was last monday, she has not called me or sent any text messages about reason yet. I am planning to send her a text message tomorrow on sunday to see if i can get a reason. I still love her very much, i saw a future with her. And i could definetaly give her a very good life.

Any opinions on this? Especially from thai people? Would greatly appreciate it.

Most of the responses to your post, regarding the money aspect, give good advice. She's probably had pressure from somewhere - parents, or the sellers of the land - to make that final payment and, in The typical Thai way of leave everything to the last possible moment to make a decision about something, has become completely stressed out and irrational - as they do - when the pressure got too much.

The money factor aside - 50K baht is really not a big amount - the question you need to ask yourself is; do you enjoy having your head fxxked with on a regular basis? Do you enjoy the emotional stress of these types of situations? because the fact is that this girl has already shown her hand to you and you can expect more of the same if you if you continue with her. You've had a taste of it; the world of emotional manipulation, of nothing ever being as it appears, of being told something when it's to late to do anything about it, of the truth being being anything but the truth, of lies being a normal part of life. If you like living with all of that then, yes, continue on with her. Many farang that come here seem to enjoy that type of life; perhaps it's the emotional stress that makes them feel more alive.

If you don't want to continue with that kind of lifestyle then I would suggest the following immediately:

Change your sim card

Get a new email address

never contact her again.

Simple really, isn't it.

Good luck.