The Purina Diet

[IanForbes]

Yesterday I was at TESCO buying a large bag of dry dog food for my German Shepherd. I was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant?

So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't do it because I ended up in the hospital the last time I tried the diet. I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices, and had IVs in both arms.

I told her that the Purina Diet was essentially a perfect diet. The way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and you will lose weight. Knowing this, I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.

Horrified at me ending up in the hospital, the lady asked if I went to intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a Doberman’s butt and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

TESCO won't let me shop there anymore.

[basinboy]

Got to cut/paste this one for my daughter, she sells Purina to Vets :D