The Truth About Cats And Dogs

[Crossy]

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY

Day number 180

8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!

10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!

4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Day number 181

8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!

10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!

4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Day number 182

8:00 ! am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!

10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!

11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!

1:30 pm - ooooooo. bath. bummer.

4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!

5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!

5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling

objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry

cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the

mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet

while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the

stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once

again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on

their bed.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in

attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike

fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good

little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I

was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning

foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a

liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my

teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was

placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise

and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer". More

importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of

"allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe

snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to

return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to

be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my

every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is

assured.

But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.