The Perfect Thread

[chiangmaikelly]

Every once in a while there is a perfect thread. A thread that would make a movie or a documentary or comedy or tragedy sitcom series. It could be a biggie.

I suppose it is a good thing that not too many people know about Thai Visa because if they did it would make national news every day and the Hollywood producers would fill the streets of Pattaya looking for cast members.

Such a thread happened a few days ago. The subject? Sex of course. Sex, prostitution, slavery and Pattaya. Who could ask for a better lead in.

The cast members. It is a casting directors dream. The protagonist. An uneducated expat. Not too many Thai years under his belt but enough to know not to go to Lolita's after the girls have eaten Som Tom. Of course he doesn't speak Thai. He wouldn't have asked the question if he spoke Thai. He refers to women as objects and uses barnyard terms. But deep down inside he has a heart of gold and wants to rescue his fair maiden from the clutches of a den of iniquity. His foils are many. There are the moralizing strangers. These wannabe preachers give him unwanted words of wisdom making it obvious that they are staring at cold TV's in colder overpriced pubs in some bleak English has been coal town. These are the guys who would give their left testicle to be doing exactly what he is doing every day but instead are staring at an empty couch, cold dirty sheets and pretending that ladies of the night in Pattaya are the beginning of all the evils in the world.

Thai experts abound who advise our hero against giving money to the conniving oriental demon women. They warn of dire consequences that all end up at the Pattaya flying club gliding gracefully down to the patched concrete below.

Thai experts also are aboard who give the contrary opinion. Thai women are the saviors of mankind. Workaholics who harvest crops and clean house with barely a minute to spare before they shower, makeup and change from farmhand to evening temptress after turning out a four star quality meal.

There is even the Khao San Kid who came to Thailand with delusions of being the Ansel Adams of Thailand and is eeking out a living as an English teacher. He sees adolescent women who are realy mothers in their 30's and helpless slaves who are really drug addicted harlots with enough spare boyfriends to fill a go go in boys town. The kid came to Thailand but never had enough cash to play the monger market and looking at it from the outside rationalizing his absence of cash as morality.

There is even a Western woman. She is clueless but a necessary part of our story. She lives in Thailand but has no grasp of why millions of men from all over the globe visit Thailand each year. Men as they get older don't like older women. This is not news to any man in Thailand but Western women find this fact a revolting revelation. If that isn't bad enough, fat men don't like fat women! Heavens to Betsy what will be next! Thailand is a melting pot of inappropriate relationships. It was 500 years ago and it still is now. That's why you can't really place where on the Asian map Thai's come from. Pick out 10 Thais and 10 Asians will tell you they come from 10 different places.

Our hero asked if he was being ripped off when a relatively new woman on the Pattaya bright light scene asked him to buy her out of the bar. He hinted the payment harked back to the days of slavery.

As anyone who knows, knows he was being charged an "I don't speak Thai and don't look like a good long term bet charge." If he wore decent clothes, spoke Thai, drove a Mercedes and had a high profile job the lady would have never mentioned a buy out fee. But then again if he wore decent clothes, spoke Thai, drove a Mercedes and had a high profile job he wouldn't be in a bar looking for a long term companion. And that's what makes the world go around. The bar girl is looking for something she will almost never find and the men in the bar are looking for something they will almost never find and the people on the outside don't have a clue how the system operates because they are on the outside.

So the people who never go into bars will tell the people who do what is going on in the bars. The people who will never have a bar girl for a wife will tell the people who do about their future life and the people who have a bar girl wife will tell the people who don't about their life. And women from a female dominated society will tell the men living in the last male dominated society why they should go home and be dominated again.

What a story! It's the perfect thread.

[Slaps]

Well I hope you feel better now

[Jingthing]

:D :D

This thread perfect?

Maybe not, but its a weiner!

Edited January 5, 2010 by Jingthing

[473geo]

I thought the thread on poached eggs was more interesting.......and informative....

Our hero Eggy being submerged in the hot dangerous murky waters of Thailand......but emerging unscathed and glorious....

[manarak]

This thread perfect?

Maybe not, but its a weiner!

I am sometimes a little slow...

But is that a play on words with "whiner"?

Because the sausage is spelled "Wiener".

[samuijim]

Aloha chiangmaikelly....this is one of the best posts I have seen ever on thaivisa....and I have read thaivisa for years. Thanks !

[manarak]

good post I agree!

[Changian]

Unfortunately it cant be the perfect TV thread as no-one has mentioned the topic of Work Permits and whether the protagonist has one or not. If not, that automatically invalidates his every opinion & action. ( I think that's written somewhere in the TV Rules & Regulations).

[anothertorres]

this thread fails.

[Hssl]

how much for the baht bus from Bar Slave to Paradise studio apartments Soi pretty cheap?

[raro]

can someone give me an executive summary of the plot laid out in the OP? Did Hollywood call already?

[basjke]

can someone give me an executive summary of the plot laid out in the OP? Did Hollywood call already?

I heard from "someone in a bar" that they are nominated for an oscar.

Actually I know loads of Pattaya inhabitants who deserve an oscar.

[SeanMoran]

The kid came to Thailand but never had enough cash to play the monger market and looking at it from the outside rationalizing his absence of cash as morality.

You been readin' my mail, sonny boy?

[cudaproject]

Unfortunately it cant be the perfect TV thread as no-one has mentioned the topic of Work Permits and whether the protagonist has one or not. If not, that automatically invalidates his every opinion & action. ( I think that's written somewhere in the TV Rules & Regulations).

Quality thread.. But it will also need the words "nail" and "coffin" in there somewhere to qualify.

[eek]

There is even a Western woman. She is clueless but a necessary part of our story.

What western woman posted on that thread?

[chiangmaikelly]

There is even a Western woman. She is clueless but a necessary part of our story.

What western woman posted on that thread?

Sorry Eek I am totally wrong. I profusely apologize. I was reading another thread where older men with younger women made this one female poster want to throw up or something like that and then I read the thread in question and found another age post and I assumed wrongly it was posted by the same person. Again my apologies. I was wrong. I went back and looked. A guy posted the reference to going back home to find a partner the same age!

Maybe we could re open the thread and any women who feel old men should find a more age appropriate partner could drop by and give us an opinion. It is not an uncommon opinion in my experience among Western woman in Thailand. Present company of course excepted.

[eek]

erm...ok...

[Rimmer]

Is this a way of continuing a closed thread? If so I've lost the plot.

[sharecropper]

can someone give me an executive summary of the plot laid out in the OP? Did Hollywood call already?

Here's my executive summary: yawn.

[raro]

Unfortunately it cant be the perfect TV thread as no-one has mentioned the topic of Work Permits and whether the protagonist has one or not. If not, that automatically invalidates his every opinion & action. ( I think that's written somewhere in the TV Rules & Regulations).

Quality thread.. But it will also need the words "nail" and "coffin" in there somewhere to qualify.

hub of [fillintheblank]

[Setanta159]

One of the more interesting posts on here to be sure. Keep it up Chiangmaikelly!

[siggie2]

There is even a Western woman. She is clueless but a necessary part of our story.

What western woman posted on that thread?

Sorry Eek I am totally wrong. I profusely apologize. I was reading another thread where older men with younger women made this one female poster want to throw up or something like that and then I read the thread in question and found another age post and I assumed wrongly it was posted by the same person. Again my apologies. I was wrong. I went back and looked. A guy posted the reference to going back home to find a partner the same age!

Maybe we could re open the thread and any women who feel old men should find a more age appropriate partner could drop by and give us an opinion. It is not an uncommon opinion in my experience among Western woman in Thailand. Present company of course excepted.

May be better as to why women should have a partner similar to their age it does go both ways you know.Do you think any guy would give a rats ass if a farang woman told him he was a dirty old man lol

[Jingthing]

This thread perfect?

Maybe not, but its a weiner!

I am sometimes a little slow...

But is that a play on words with "whiner"?

Because the sausage is spelled "Wiener".

As Freud said, sometimes a cigar typo is just a cigar typo.

[bobbin]

I liked the book better.

Good post though!

[Crypt36]

Epic.

[William Osborne]

... so thats your idea of a perfect thread ... FAIL !!

[chiangmaikelly]

... so thats your idea of a perfect thread ... FAIL !!

I really want to say how much I enjoyed reading your post and all the effort and thought you put into writing it. If I may be so bold as to suggest perhaps you have something to say. Perhaps your opinions would be shared by other people if you expanded your comment a bit to include something a little more thoughtful. It is like the "nuf said" guys who think writing "nuf said" is somehow cool or in reference to an old guy who sometimes writes in Bangkok.

You could make comments on the content of the thread, if you thought it was on target or off target. Perhaps you did not find in entertaining. Or perhaps one of the stereotypes mentioned hit home. But if you can't say anything interesting why say anything at all? No one likes to read one word comments even if they agree with them.

[William Osborne]

Sounded like the whole post was written when you were coming down from a acid/speed/ecstacy/coke/whiskey fueled night to me ??? ..... sorry.. but reading about the typical "sterotypes" in Pattaya really doesn't do it for me any more...maybe if there was a "newbie" section they might find it enlightning ?? TBH i could barely read the full thread ... it should be re-named the "the perfect cliche thread" ...so normal people can avoid it ..

Actually, i should have inserted this pic in the first place....DOUBLE FAIL !!!

Edited January 6, 2010 by William Osborne

[Jimmyd]

Don't worry chiangmaikelly--every time someone has an opinion and writes eloquently about it, there are bound to be people who lack either opinions or the ability to express them (or both) and get their rocks off by attacking the person who contributed the opinion. The bad feeling they have, which comes from lack of ability to contribute content, is somehow assuaged by attacking those who have that ability.

That's my latest theory, and I'm sticking to it.

[midasthailand]

If the OP is referring to the thread about the guy being asked to buy his "farm fresh" true love from a bar and is labelling it a "perfect thread", then I am in the camp of William Osborne...Fail! That thread had posts from all the usual suspects, supporting their own viewpoint of the subject matter and various advice as to the OP's options. Hardly differed from the thousands of other posts which deal with the same story....Farang meets bar girl, falls in love/lust, asks for advice/opinion from the venerated TV membership, all of whom have a "barrow" to push depending on their own circumstances, thread degenerartes and closes.

I would have thought that a perfect thread would at least have to remain open, Provide some useful information otherwise not available on the Net, contain some humour and be devoid of racist/hateful/flaming comments. Yet to see a thread of this nature on TV, but one lives in hope.