3 Children , 20 Years In Thailand And 16 Years Together

[t.s]

does anyone here remember tippaporn?

this thread is remarkably similar.

[needforspeed]

Good thing about you needforspeed is that you never had to pay SIN SOD

Verry good Jababa,

As your parents told you, look at it, talk about it, write about it, but never eat it.

Next time listen to them.

[bobbysan124]

It sounds like you've been a good mate and father. If you've tried to do the best you can for your family, just realize that whatever you decide to do, you can look at yourself in the mirror and, eventually, be content. I wish you good luck in your decisions.

[Arkady]

There are some preparations you can make that might be helpful, depending on your situation. You should make sure your kids have their Thai passports because, if their mother disappears they will not be able to apply for passports. If you have a house and land in the gf's name, try to restructure it. Put in your kids' name or get a long term lease or usufruct agreeement in your name. Clear out any joint bank accounts you may have opened with her. Then you should attempt to negotiate an amicable settlement where you get custody of the children and she gets a lump sum to get out of your life. I would think the relationship is irreparable if she is corresponding with an other farang in English that she has to get translated. That sounds as if she is on the game and faking a relationship with the other guy for financial gain. It can't be a genuine close relationship if they have no common language and have to communicate in pijin English. Her real romantic interest, if she has one, is more likely to be a Thai man who has his own family and is leading her up the garden path to soak her for your money which would explain why she always needs more. This is the normal cycle of Thai deceit that emerges time and time again. If you forgive her, she will immediately do it again or never stop doing it in the first place because the habit is deeply ingrained. Separate amicably because she is the kids' mother and look carefully for another one but not in bars.

[BigWheelMan]

does anyone here remember tippaporn?

this thread is remarkably similar.

Could this whole story be an enormous wind up?

[needforspeed]

does anyone here remember tippaporn?

this thread is remarkably similar.

Could this whole story be an enormous wind up?

It isn't.

[needforspeed]

There are some preparations you can make that might be helpful, depending on your situation. You should make sure your kids have their Thai passports because, if their mother disappears they will not be able to apply for passports ( They have ). If you have a house and land in the gf's name, try to restructure it. Put in your kids' name or get a long term lease or usufruct agreeement in your name.(Going to be very difficult, i try to borrow money on it as it is a expensive house with a lots off land and a few Million isnt a problem) Clear out any joint bank accounts (we dont have)you may have opened with her. Then you should attempt to negotiate an amicable settlement where you get custody (I am not sure about this, she takes care the children very well, i have a job overseas and be home only for 4 weeks and leaving again for another 4 weeks. The only way i could do it is send my children to europe where they can stay with my parents)of the children and she gets a lump sum to get out of your life. I would think the relationship is irreparable if she is corresponding with an other farang in English that she has to get translated. That sounds as if she is on the game and faking a relationship with the other guy for financial gain. It can't be a genuine close relationship if they have no common language and have to communicate in pijin English. Her real romantic interest, if she has one, is more likely to be a Thai man who has his own family and is leading her up the garden path to soak her for your money which would explain why she always needs more(Think the same about this). This is the normal cycle of Thai deceit that emerges time and time again. If you forgive her, she will immediately do it again or never stop doing it in the first place because the habit is deeply ingrained. Separate amicably because she is the kids' mother and look carefully for another one but not in bars.

(Drinking bacardi breezers and smoking GAN@@#@# at my place, dont think so)

Thanks

[needforspeed]

It sounds like you've been a good mate and father. If you've tried to do the best you can for your family, just realize that whatever you decide to do, you can look at yourself in the mirror and, eventually, be content. I wish you good luck in your decisions.

Thanks, i hope so.

Sometimes i think my job is a problem, a few posters told this as well.

4 weeks on 4 weeks off isn't a realy good situation, you miss half off your family life.

Christmas, Birthdays,first day to school and it going on and on.

[yababa]

It sounds like you've been a good mate and father. If you've tried to do the best you can for your family, just realize that whatever you decide to do, you can look at yourself in the mirror and, eventually, be content. I wish you good luck in your decisions.

Thanks, i hope so.

Sometimes i think my job is a problem, a few posters told this as well.

4 weeks on 4 weeks off isn't a realy good situation, you miss half off your family life.

Christmas, Birthdays,first day to school and it going on and on.

You and your GF need to be happy you have a job.

They always have excuses, the job, no money, to busy, drink to much, smoke to much, don't understand Thai people, been lazy.

Sure within one year you feel much better.

[desi]

Sometimes i think my job is a problem, a few posters told this as well.

4 weeks on 4 weeks off isn't a realy good situation, you miss half off your family life.

Christmas, Birthdays,first day to school and it going on and on.

Until you talk to her, you won't know if your job is the problem or not.

But women all over the world stay married to men who are forced to find work away. It is how their men secure the financial future of their family. It's an admirable venture.

If she is not one of those women who can deal, then you two obviously need to make different arrangements.

My son is going through similar (three kids, he worked nights, the wife acquired a boyfriend and left with the kids). And what was intended to stay amicable, is now deteriorating. A pity. Especially as how the western laws can strongly benefit the wife.

It's the kids who can suffer greatly, so I hope you can keep your head no matter what.

Like you said, she's a good mother to your kids. That is not about to change, so why even consider taking your kids away from her? Kids need their moms.

IF it happens, having another man in their/your lives is going to be sticky for you. Sure, it is a heart breaker, but you can deal. And you might just find that the situation turns out better than before (except for the money issue, it looks like my son's home life has improved greatly). Just be sure to cover your financial butt... it's something you can do easily out here (unlike if you were in your home country).

Take care... we are rooting for you...

[yababa]

Until you talk to her, you won't know if your job is the problem or not.

But women all over the world stay married to men who are forced to find work away. It is how their men secure the financial future of their family. It's an admirable venture.

If she is not one of those women who can deal, then you two obviously need to make different arrangements.

My son is going through similar (three kids, he worked nights, the wife acquired a boyfriend and left with the kids). And what was intended to stay amicable, is now deteriorating. A pity. Especially as how the western laws can strongly benefit the wife.

It's the kids who can suffer greatly, so I hope you can keep your head no matter what.

Like you said, she's a good mother to your kids. That is not about to change, so why even consider taking your kids away from her? Kids need their moms.

IF it happens, having another man in their/your lives is going to be sticky for you. Sure, it is a heart breaker, but you can deal. And you might just find that the situation turns out better than before (except for the money issue, it looks like my son's home life has improved greatly). Just be sure to cover your financial butt... it's something you can do easily out here (unlike if you were in your home country).

Take care... we are rooting for you...

If she was a good mother she didnt .... with a other man when he is working, and talked before she approach another farang

[needforspeed]

Until you talk to her, you won't know if your job is the problem or not.

But women all over the world stay married to men who are forced to find work away. It is how their men secure the financial future of their family. It's an admirable venture.

If she is not one of those women who can deal, then you two obviously need to make different arrangements.

My son is going through similar (three kids, he worked nights, the wife acquired a boyfriend and left with the kids). And what was intended to stay amicable, is now deteriorating. A pity. Especially as how the western laws can strongly benefit the wife.

It's the kids who can suffer greatly, so I hope you can keep your head no matter what.

Like you said, she's a good mother to your kids. That is not about to change, so why even consider taking your kids away from her? Kids need their moms.

IF it happens, having another man in their/your lives is going to be sticky for you. Sure, it is a heart breaker, but you can deal. And you might just find that the situation turns out better than before (except for the money issue, it looks like my son's home life has improved greatly). Just be sure to cover your financial butt... it's something you can do easily out here (unlike if you were in your home country).

Take care... we are rooting for you...

If she was a good mother she didnt .... with a other man when he is working, and talked before she approach another farang

Are you eating them yourself?????????

Because your comment is B@#@#@SH@@T read first before you post a comment, she is a good mother and nothing to do with another relationship.

[needforspeed]

Until you talk to her, you won't know if your job is the problem or not. Yes i know, i just guess what couldt be the problem.

But women all over the world stay married to men who are forced to find work away. It is how their men secure the financial future of their family. It's an admirable venture.

If she is not one of those women who can deal, then you two obviously need to make different arrangements.

My son is going through similar (three kids, he worked nights, the wife acquired a boyfriend and left with the kids). And what was intended to stay amicable, is now deteriorating. A pity. Especially as how the western laws can strongly benefit the wife.I know children always been given to the mothers site at europe and for a man verry difficult to get even a day a week or a wekend with them, very sad)

It's the kids who can suffer greatly, so I hope you can keep your head no matter what. (Agree, i love them very much even the mother so we find a way hopefully, so they would't suffer from all off this)

Like you said, she's a good mother to your kids. That is not about to change, so why even consider taking your kids away from her? Kids need their moms.

IF it happens, having another man in their/your lives is going to be sticky for you. Sure, it is a heart breaker, but you can deal. And you might just find that the situation turns out better than before (except for the money issue, it looks like my son's home life has improved greatly). Just be sure to cover your financial butt... it's something you can do easily out here (unlike if you were in your home country).

Take care... we are rooting for you...

Thank you very much nice words.

[longballlarry]

go to lollitas

[apetley]

go to lollitas

Think long and hard over that post did you?

[longballlarry]

go to lollitas

Think long and hard over that post did you?

About 8 seconds if that helps.

[needforspeed]

go to lollitas

You end up on the wrong website mate, this isn't "moststupidcomment.com" but Thaivisa.

[longballlarry]

go to lollitas

You end up on the wrong website mate, this isn't "moststupidcomment.com" but Thaivisa.

Thanks for correcting me. I'll be off now. I need to go out now, and get random advice from expert expats

about my relationship and why it has all gone wrong. Lighten up you muppet.

[needforspeed]

go to lollitas

You end up on the wrong website mate, this isn't "moststupidcomment.com" but Thaivisa.

Thanks for correcting me. I'll be off now. I need to go out now, and get random advice from expert expats

about my relationship and why it has all gone wrong. Lighten up you muppet.

Have a nice day out mate, and we all looking forward to get some new advice from you by tomorrow,

Thank for your help

[needforspeed]

Just got a call from my GF,

So i asked her what is the problem, this as the only reason she call me is if there is a problem at home.

I call her every day for a few minutes.

Me: What is the problem darling?

GF: Nothing i just wanted to call you.

(At this time i got nervous)

Me: Ok i have the time, how are the children doing.

GF:They ok they played the whole afternoon at the childrens playground.

Me:Good, sure there is nothing wrong as you never called me.

GF: I just wanted to tell you that i love you to much.

Me: Thank you darling i love you as well.

GF: When you coming home darling, we all miss you.

Me: I am not sure between 17 and 20 February let you know asap.

GF: Ok darling thank you, call me tomorrow yes.

Me: I call you every day darling so also tomorrow.

GF: Sleep well, i love you

Me: Say hello to the children i love bye.

GF Bye bye

End.

What is wrong here, it drives me crazy, a telephone call from about 2 minutes.

This because i have the feeling and correct me if i am wrong that she dit something and after felt guilty about it.

She call me average ones a year and that means there is something wrong, last time she called me was April 2008 when my son admitted at the hospital.

Maybe because what i know i feel like jumping from the rig.

Am i getting crazy or do other people think the same.

Like this 3 more weeks on the rig feels like a long long way to go.

[473geo]

At first glance she has realised she needs to give you reassurance.......maybe something has come across in your daily contact.

Women can be very intuitive, perhaps she has picked up on something.

I wouldn't torment yourself.....take this as a positive for now.......

best wishes

Geo

edit: don't forget Valentines day is approaching.....can affect some womens thinking....

Edited January 31, 2010 by 473geo

[prefabs]

Just got a call from my GF,

So i asked her what is the problem, this as the only reason she call me is if there is a problem at home.

I call her every day for a few minutes.

Me: What is the problem darling?

GF: Nothing i just wanted to call you.

(At this time i got nervous)

Me: Ok i have the time, how are the children doing.

GF:They ok they played the whole afternoon at the childrens playground.

Me:Good, sure there is nothing wrong as you never called me.

GF: I just wanted to tell you that i love you to much.

Me: Thank you darling i love you as well.

GF: When you coming home darling, we all miss you.

Me: I am not sure between 17 and 20 February let you know asap.

GF: Ok darling thank you, call me tomorrow yes.

Me: I call you every day darling so also tomorrow.

GF: Sleep well, i love you

Me: Say hello to the children i love bye.

GF Bye bye

End.

What is wrong here, it drives me crazy, a telephone call from about 2 minutes.

This because i have the feeling and correct me if i am wrong that she dit something and after felt guilty about it.

She call me average ones a year and that means there is something wrong, last time she called me was April 2008 when my son admitted at the hospital.

Maybe because what i know i feel like jumping from the rig.

Am i getting crazy or do other people think the same.

Like this 3 more weeks on the rig feels like a long long way to go.

Look mate, keep your chin up and remember there are others on rigs all over the world who think from time to time that the same thing is happening. I am offshore just now and feel for you. One thing though, you need to try and keep some of this shit to yourself, ammunition for <deleted> it looks like now.

[WeeGB]

As they say in Liverpool "calm down calm down".

She may be genuinely missing you, or, like 473 geo says, she may have picked up on something you said.

If I was you, I'd be very careful what you post on here.

It's understandable that you feel stressed and alone, especially with your work, and given the situation that you're in, but you do not want to give away any future plans you have.

Have you no friends that you can get to call on her, to check things out for you, while you're working?

It really serves no purpose torturing yourself, over something you can't control, at least until you're back onshore.

Good luck, hope everything works out well for you.

[Tokay]

I'm sorry to hear this. You must be devistated.

As another poster stated, get your ducks in a row, ALL OF THEM, and move on. No matter what you say to her and no matter what she says back to you, she is a cheater. Cheaters cheat, that is what they will always do. You either deal with having a cheater for your mate, or you move on.

[needforspeed]

At first glance she has realised she needs to give you reassurance.......maybe something has come across in your daily contact.

Women can be very intuitive, perhaps she has picked up on something.

I wouldn't torment yourself.....take this as a positive for now.......Very difficult

best wishes Thanks

Geo

edit: don't forget Valentines day is approaching.....can affect some womens thinking....I am still offshore at that time, ordered flowers 2 years ago when was offshore from a shop in Bangkok they arrived at my house on 24 February.

[needforspeed]

Look mate, keep your chin up and remember there are others on rigs all over the world who think from time to time that the same thing is happening. I am offshore just now and feel for you. One thing though, you need to try and keep some of this shit to yourself, ammunition for <deleted> it looks like now.

Agree mate, going to take it easy sending information.

Cheers mate,

[needforspeed]

I'm sorry to hear this. You must be devistated.

As another poster stated, get your ducks in a row, ALL OF THEM, and move on. No matter what you say to her and no matter what she says back to you, she is a cheater. Cheaters cheat, that is what they will always do. You either deal with having a cheater for your mate, or you move on.

That is what my best mate told me "tell ones a lie and you are going to tell a million"

Going to move on, step by step

Thanks

[NanLaew]

^^^ Use www.forever-florist-thailand.com

5 Valentines

4 Birthdays

3 Wedding Anniversaries

Never missed a date and I was offshore for every one of them.

[louialive]

All I can advise is decide what you want first, i.e do you love her enough to be with her after what she has done. If you do then find out why she has been messing around. Is she lonley when you are not there, remember being alone for 4 weeks at a time 16 years ago and doing it know may have made her feel lonley. She goes out with the children sees all the other ladies with their husbands etc, think you know what I mean without using a list of examples. Dont get me wrong its not your fault but it may be what she is thinking. A fab house etc isn't always everything to a woman long term.

Have you been having lots of arguments over the past year or so, has the relationship been cold, how has your sex life been. Are there any indicators non verbal that she was un happy, it's easy to say "I Love You" its the unspoken words that say the most.

If it is your job do you love her enough to change it. If she really loves you the standard of living that may change will not be an issue.

If you don't love her enough to make it work and want to move on then remember to think clearly. If it is not possible to sort out amicably because of cultural issues and danger then get yourself a good lawyer and for a period keep away if it could get heated, better for the children not to see this even if it means you suffer a while not seeing them. Once it comes out in the open I guess your gf may tell the children your dad did this etc etc. Some woman can be very poisonous and dangerous in these circumstance but hopefully she won't.

Remember your children love you unconditionally.

We all know there are two sides to every story and I am assuming you have not been unfaithful or if you have she doesn't know about it, and that you have not hit or been controlling or other things that can happen in a relationship.

I am writing this remembering my past problems (not with thai lady) and whatver you decide its going to be an emotional journey, don't go getting drunk to escape the pain, that fixes nothing. You need to be at your best to deal with this.

Share with people you can trust how you are feeling, cry if you need to its not a sin.

Good luck with you future

Good luck with everything

[t.s]

I really don't understand why someone would share all this on an Internet forum full of strangers.

Whatever happened to the support of flesh and blood friends? Are you really so lacking in genuine support that you need to itemise your personal life on thaivisa.com? Shouldn't some things remain private?

What is next? Reality tv, interviews, a documentary, a video blog?

My earlier reference to a poster named tippaporn was not meant to infer that this was a troll, but rather to point out a similar example on tv of a very personal series of events dragged through the thaivisa mud.

When I log on here the last thing I am seeking is a group hug or a therapy session.

Edited February 1, 2010 by t.s