Dating Girls Is Really, Really Hard

[IanForbes]

It IS hard to gain confidence when you've been a shy person all your life. The only real advice I can give is to ASK A LOT OF QUESTIONS of the person you are interested in, and then truly listen to the answers. Look into the person's eyes when they are talking to you. Don't stare at the body parts until the person is comfortable with you. I can get away with that with the friends I associate with, but I don't do it with strangers. I also keep my hands off the bar girls until they get to know me and invite it themselves. A big, friendly smile goes a long way in breaking down barriers.

Most women make up their mind in the first 5 minutes if they are at some point willing to go to bed with a man. That MAY change, but not usually. Sometimes the chemistry only flows from one direction and it only takes a little experience to know when your advances are not reciprocated. At that point move on to greener pastures.

I'm so confused...... are you talking about prostitutes? You actually woo and seduce prostitutes? Aren't they paid money to be with you? They might say no?! I must not understand the entire concept.

I think THAT is your problem right there. There is an old saying that holds a lot of truth. Treat the hookers like ladies and the ladies like hookers. No hooker likes to be treated like a piece of meat. Show them some appreciation and it's amazing what the results will be. And, the reference of treating ladies like hookers stems from the number of women who seem to like the "bad-boys". Why that is so, I don't know, but it is certainly true in a number of cases. Maybe it's because of the forbidden fruit syndrome. Or, maybe it's because women innately want to change a man; and who better to change than some stud of a bad guy.

[EvilDrSomkid]

You came here looking for a "potential life-partner". Why?

Its v easy to meet women, they will throw themselves at you. If you genuinely want a woman who's not after your money - GO BACK HOME!

Somehow I suspect the women at home don't want you - in which case, find the best you can who will at least look after you, even though she's only interested in a better life.

Norway is full of them.

Norway is full of what? Women that throw themselves at you?

[IanForbes]

Norway is full of what? Women that throw themselves at you?

Women and men from Norway! I'm always jumping out of their way. Mostly they are drunk though... and falling down. Or, riding a scooter without a clue how to ride in Thailand.

[johncat1]

I found the Internet the best way to meet Thai girls / women who are not obsessed with money BUT not on dating site where they are looking for a man with money

I have dated many women several in Bangkok not for sex or as a potential life partner BUT as a friend ( ok a few ended up with sex But we are still friends )

If you want a true loving relationship with a girl who is not money crazy ( rare in Thailand ) start a relationship the same as in most countries , as a friend.

http://www.tagged.com

I found this site excellent for meeting Thai girls / women because most are lonely and are just looking for a friend And the majority are in Bangkok

[Cobrabiker]

This thread is full of "sad".

Dating Thai women is easy. I've dated girls from lo-so, got not a penny to their name, a collection of middle class university aged girls, car show model pretties, and even dated one of Thailand's biggest pop-singers (Namcha, if you'd like to know, and yes I can prove that).

BE YOURSELF. God I can't say enough about being yourself here. Look clean, be happy, enjoy who you are and where you are, and girls will get that vibe from you. Bangkok is the best city I've ever had the chance to go to, and the women here are gorgeous and not as difficult as you think they really are.

Learn a little about the culture, know that girls will hardly ever open up to you first (unless they are ungodly drunk), and know where the type of girls you want to meet hang out. I'm a young guy, 22, and I want to meet young attractive girls (I'm into the fair skinned, higher class girls... not those monkeys you find at Cowboy and Nana) so I'll hang out around Thong Lor, Ekamai, or anywhere college students will hang out.

And I never go somewhere thinking I'll meet a girl. I go to have fun, be with friends, meet new people. Chances are I'll probably meet some attractive girls along the way, but they will never be attracted to me if I look drab, boring, tired. Just try to look the best you can without having to overdue it. Get your acne taken care of, go to a gym and lose 10 - 20 pounds, get a haircut and shave. I'll normally go out in a decent regular t-shirt and some 1000 baht jeans and it works out just fine. I approach women with confidence the moment I see a girl I'm interested in.

They see a white guy come up to them, of course they are going to be intimidated, but you can use it to your advantage so easily. I'll go up, say Hi in my Minnesotan-American accent (hi-eh). She'll ussually give the look like <deleted> if shes not sure how to react, or if she's interested in me she'll ussually turn to me and start a conversation. If she doesn't, I'll just ask: "Can you speak English?" The normal reply is "a lit-ten bit". Addorable, isn't it?

Anyways, I just bust a move like: "Mai pen rai. Pood Thai gor dai na." And 90% of the time they are like OMG <deleted> WOWWWWWWW (the look in their eyes, jaw kinda drops) and that opens up a plethora of new questions she'll have for me. Now you can't let her ask all the questions, but basically, this gets me through the door and from there you just gotta experiment and see what kind of questions work out the best for you and get you her number or even further. Knowing Thai, if you are taking this route, is pretty essential. I've never had success with a Thai girl that couldn't speak English before I knew Thai (I had an advantage though, I was an exchange student and had the language pretty much crammed down my throat for ten months in northern Thailand)

A quick review -

Know where the women you are in to go

2. Spruce yourself up... you can be yourself, but NO ONE likes a farang in sandals, a hawaiin/safari t-shirt, short khakis or those Thai pajama pants, and a big beer belly. God I see this kind of farang and it makes me regret being a farang sometimes. Look nice, dress in long pants, decent shoes (Don't need to be dress shoes, but shouldn't be running shoes or sandals EVER. Any kind of basic Adidas Superstar/all star kind of shoes are fine. I just wear some all black skateboarding shoes. They look fine), and wear a good, designer t-shirt (No I <3 Thailand shirts you bought at Jatujak). Paragon always has decent sales you can find for mens clothing.

3. Go to where you want to meet women with your friends. If your friends don't like that kind of place, offer to buy the first round of drinks. Always works. Spend a little money and stop being a farang kee ngok

4. The moment you see a girl you like, say hi. Stop staring... its creepy. I see my friends staring all the time and the girl is like &lt;deleted&gt; is he looking at. I'll usually try and intercept before she notices him staring so I can introduce them if that seems logical... otherwise I'll just get her number myself and say tough luck buddy to my friends

5. If she doesn't seem interested, I say fug it and move on. There are too many fine Thai ladies in any club, mall, bowling alley, arcade, restaurant, pub, etc, etc, to just get caught up on one. You're in Thailand for god sakes! Live it up, stop being so worried about meeting the right girl or the wrong girl. Try everything you can and just have fun. I can't remember the amount of times girls come up to me because I look like I'm having so much fun living here.

Alright!?

Oh and if, god forbid, you have to use a dating site as a last resort, DateInAsia.com would be the best resource. Tons of Thai girls on at all times. Just don't come off the bat with "WOW YOU ARE SO PRETTY CAN I HAVE YOUR NUMBER PLZ K THX" or this "How much for one night?" Thai girls love respect. Ask them a question about something they wrote in their profile and introduce yourself (don't mention how lonely and desperate you are... Thai girls hate desperate guys. They want a man that can stand on their two feet and manage to get womens numbers without having to mope about it like this threads OP) I've used DIA on those nights where my friends are busy, can easily get a number and a date and have made a lot of good friends and "kik"s off of it, too.

Fantastic advises, hyerion. Will give it a try. Besides dateinasia, any other online dating that is worth trying?

[IanForbes]

I found the Internet the best way to meet Thai girls / women who are not obsessed with money BUT not on dating site where they are looking for a man with money

I have dated many women several in Bangkok not for sex or as a potential life partner BUT as a friend ( ok a few ended up with sex But we are still friends )

If you want a true loving relationship with a girl who is not money crazy ( rare in Thailand ) start a relationship the same as in most countries , as a friend.

http://www.tagged.com

I found this site excellent for meeting Thai girls / women because most are lonely and are just looking for a friend And the majority are in Bangkok

Good post, johncat1... I agree.

As one gal said... "A good man is hard to find!"

To which the more experienced lady replied... "A hard man is good to find!"

All my best lovers are gals whom I made friends with first... and maintained that friendship with respect for them and no questions asked.

[Forethat]

OP mentioned he tried IRC with little success. I suggest trying other chatrooms that are available on the net. Yahoo might be a good start. Lots of Thai chatters there. Good luck.

IRC? Chat? You want to chat with the girls..? I'm trying desperately to shut mine up...

[BlackArtemis]

I would agree, learning Thai is the fastest way to get results. If I go ahead of time to reserve a table at a club and sit down, maybe only a few might even bother to look at me on the way in. The second I start ordering everything in Thai, which then leads to small talk in Thai with the server, I have tons of girls looking at me. This leads to tons of conversations etc.

My only folly is that my command of the Thai language grew by leaps and bounds AFTER I got married

[makescents]

I would agree, learning Thai is the fastest way to get results. If I go ahead of time to reserve a table at a club and sit down, maybe only a few might even bother to look at me on the way in. The second I start ordering everything in Thai, which then leads to small talk in Thai with the server, I have tons of girls looking at me. This leads to tons of conversations etc.

My only folly is that my command of the Thai language grew by leaps and bounds AFTER I got married

I don't want to hijack the thread but was your wife (or anybody's for that matter) ever apprehensive about you learning Thai?

I ask because I've received a fair amount of hostility from my girlfriend regarding it.

[BlackArtemis]

I would agree, learning Thai is the fastest way to get results. If I go ahead of time to reserve a table at a club and sit down, maybe only a few might even bother to look at me on the way in. The second I start ordering everything in Thai, which then leads to small talk in Thai with the server, I have tons of girls looking at me. This leads to tons of conversations etc.

My only folly is that my command of the Thai language grew by leaps and bounds AFTER I got married

I don't want to hijack the thread but was your wife (or anybody's for that matter) ever apprehensive about you learning Thai?

I ask because I've received a fair amount of hostility from my girlfriend regarding it.

Not at all, Before I met her I had a basic command of Thai. I had done a semester abroad with CMU and then moved back a year later. My wife is fluent in English and was a K2 English teacher, so she can easily translate and teach me new phrases. She has encouraged me in my studies and scolds me because I have not kept up my reading and writing. We speak both Thai and English daily, but since moving to the US we speak more Thai so I don't get rusty, plus most of our friends are Thai.

If your GF is upset about you learning Thai, my first thought would be that she doesn't want you to understand what she says when she speaks, and that would be extremely worrisome for me.

Now back to your regularly scheduled thread!

[IanForbes]

If your GF is upset about you learning Thai, my first thought would be that she doesn't want you to understand what she says when she speaks, and that would be extremely worrisome for me.

My thoughts exactly. Thai women LIKE it where they can hold a conversation amongst a bunch of farangs, and without the farangs understanding what they are saying. I understand FAR more Thai than I can speak. I just don't get the tones correct when I try to speak Thai. It sometimes surprises Thais when I laugh at the appropriate time when they tell a funny story about some farang.

[BlackArtemis]

If your GF is upset about you learning Thai, my first thought would be that she doesn't want you to understand what she says when she speaks, and that would be extremely worrisome for me.

My thoughts exactly. Thai women LIKE it where they can hold a conversation amongst a bunch of farangs, and without the farangs understanding what they are saying. I understand FAR more Thai than I can speak. I just don't get the tones correct when I try to speak Thai. It sometimes surprises Thais when I laugh at the appropriate time when they tell a funny story about some farang.

Or when she is calling her Thai BF to tell him how much money she will be getting of her Farang boyfriend this week.

I also love the "Oh Shit" looks when you start laughing at something in Thai.

[bearhunt]

just trawl the internet put up a good picture of yourself be honest and check your messages daily if the site lets you do searches then search for the type of girl you are looking for in your area then systematically contact them all and wait for the replies! copy and pasting the same message to lots of people is a little lame though.. you should try to make it personal

i use thailovelinks.com, dateinasia.com, thaifriendly.com specifically dating sites and hi5.com/tagged.com are good for general social networking sites. the girls on hi5.com aren't searching for farang guys in general I've found so while there is a tonne of girls there it isnt that relevant to hunt there unless you have lots of time

[BazilFox]

Thai's in general do not like Indian's... they find them rude, aggressive, arrogant, and smelly... and Thai's are allowed to say that without it beig frowned upon like would happen in most of our home countries...

You also need to consider that for Thai's in general, dark skin equates to working outdoors, which equates to being poor and poorly educated... as was the case in England a couple of hundred years ago, and is why the English and French upper classes all wore makeup and powdered faces... It only changed when a tan started to indicate affluence that allowed you to travel to warmer climes for vacations...

Thai's get their religion from Buddah, not India, and their lanuage is their own, they are very nationalistic... so these aren't any reason to treat Indians better than their perceived station...

I know some girls who are in love with their 'chocolate man' British Indians, but when I have been out with Indian workmates can not even get my good friends to make conversation with them... and these are professional men...

Thais are racist, they hate everyone except Thai's.

Bahtland "No Money No Honey".

You might be able meet a good girl by meeting a bad girl first, getting her to introduce you to some 'good' friends, and taking it from there... I think buy the time you trawl through all of the scammers on Internet dating sites, you will be too old to know what the Internet is, and start calling it the wireless...

Cheers,

Daewoo

[makescents]

If your GF is upset about you learning Thai, my first thought would be that she doesn't want you to understand what she says when she speaks, and that would be extremely worrisome for me.

My thoughts exactly. Thai women LIKE it where they can hold a conversation amongst a bunch of farangs, and without the farangs understanding what they are saying. I understand FAR more Thai than I can speak. I just don't get the tones correct when I try to speak Thai. It sometimes surprises Thais when I laugh at the appropriate time when they tell a funny story about some farang.

Or when she is calling her Thai BF to tell him how much money she will be getting of her Farang boyfriend this week.

I also love the "Oh Shit" looks when you start laughing at something in Thai.

She's not that type of girl, but I can probably understand that she doesn't want me to know what her mother is saying. She scolds me frequently already.

[BlackArtemis]

Time to play Devil's advocate (only for laughs)

You ASSUME she isn't that type of girl because you have indication, but since you can't understand Thai you don't KNOW what she is saying and therefore don't KNOW 100% she isn't that type of girl.

You could always replace Thai BF, with greedy Mother

[makescents]

Time to play Devil's advocate (only for laughs)

You ASSUME she isn't that type of girl because you have indication, but since you can't understand Thai you don't KNOW what she is saying and therefore don't KNOW 100% she isn't that type of girl.

You could always replace Thai BF, with greedy Mother

Well you're right about the greedy mother but thankfully someone is there to keep her at bay.

As for her, well I'm pretty sure I'm right or I would have noticed of these last 4 years. She has translated when people have been downright callous towards me but just not her mother.

I've asked some of her friends about the whole learning Thai thing and they tend not to agree with her.

It's happening anyway so...

[Murf]

This thread is LOL....

[whiterussian]

Jeezus, if only I was single again.

My advice to the OP:

Take the first one that gives you a signal, and just fool around, even if she is hot but works at 7-eleven, life is too short.

When you have one on the go, other women seem to sense it, and its much easier to pull.

At least way back when i was young and fit, that was the case.

now its a ball and chain.

Edited March 22, 2010 by whiterussian

[ray35ty]

Is amazing how now in some places they just don't allow some Indian people.

Where in Thailand do they not allow Indians?

Hi i have seen alot of night time bars and clubs refuse to allow indians into their establishment.