Why Can't People Accept The Truth?

[jpolten]

On my last visit to the GF's village in Isan there was a party for a young man who was becoming a monk,lots of people eating,drinking,dancing.....

There was one young girl 25-30 (i think it was the young mans cousin) that everyone seemed to show an interest in and a lot of whispering and watching her,on seeing this i asked the GF was there something wrong and she told me that the girl was a prostitute working in bangkok....ok i took he word for it and said no more....

Sometime later i got chatting to this girl,she was well dressed and very polite (didn't seem like your average bar girl) and asked her about herself.....

she told me she was living in BKK, worked in a well known coffee shop on sukhumvit and had a western BF ect ect...later i told the GF what she said and the GF said that's what she tells everyone but its a lie!

The following week i had a meeting in BKK and after the meet felt like a coffee ordered the coffee and sat down,looking around i couldn't see this girl (so i was

starting to believe what the GF said,or maybe she just has a day off,or maybe im in the wrong place) finished the coffee and got up to leave when i heard a voice saying hello john how are you?...i turned to see the girl from the village standing there in her uniform serving some customers...we chatted for a minute and i left

for the hotel to change and pack for the trip back to Isan.

I think i shook my head from the time i walked out the coffee shop door till a got back to Isan,when i got back i told the GF where i was and who i saw there and

she wouldn't accept what i told her! She told the family what i said and they didn't want to know (smiling and shaking their heads)

So what is it with people not accepting the truth...is it because there was so much lies told that there would be too much face lost?

I'll be bringing a camera next time i feel like a coffee there!!

[lazygourmet]

Suk. soi 7/1 !?!

[F1fanatic]

They were talking and whispering because she WASN'T a prostitute!

[jpolten]

Suk. soi 7/1 !?!

:D ...no!..a well know American coffee shop...unless they offering other services

[MJP]

There's two main problems in this part of the world (Isaan).

1. Lau Kao and the dysfunctional chaos it causes.

2. Divide and rule. They love to keep each other down and hate to see anyone break free and make even a moderate success of their lives.

Well, it's my experience of it anyway.

[ThailandTommy]

To be honest 99% for some reason is jealousy, and certainly the fact that the gossip of an elder in the village will be believed over that of a younger person.

When my TW passed her driving test all the village elders would not accept that she did not 'buy it'.

Over the years the more I have got to know the people the more I dislike them, you do not often see them give a fellow countryman a 'leg up' unless of course there is an ulterior motive.

If a Thai woman has a foreign boyfriend/husband it is not uncommon for a so called friends of the woman to attempt (many times successfully) to break up the relationship! The reason is apparently 'She has something I do not/cant have so nobody will have it'

I have witnessed many incidents that can only be described as spiteful!

It difficult to make 'good' in Thailand it really is a shame that these decent hard working people have to suffer the unfounded malicious gossip spread by people who have got nothing better to do!

[KhaoNiaw]

Suk. soi 7/1 !?!

...no!..a well know American coffee shop...unless they offering other services

Yes, but that's obviously just the day job.

[Portlandstone]

Yah, it's a dam_n shame. It's really one of the things that is becoming worse about Asia. Any woman that mingles even in business around white folks is a target of much gossip, stares. And just think, that girl is putting in good work at a low salary while the others are sitting on their asses in the countryside.

[jpolten]

Suk. soi 7/1 !?!

...no!..a well know American coffee shop...unless they offering other services

Yes, but that's obviously just the day job.

Thats possible,but you've never talked to or seen this girl,to me she seemed like a nice lady!

[GrahamF]

Yah, it's a dam_n shame. It's really one of the things that is becoming worse about Asia. Any woman that mingles even in business around white folks is a target of much gossip, stares. And just think, that girl is putting in good work at a low salary while the others are sitting on their asses in the countryside.

And she is probably sending money home to them! It is a dam_n shame!

[F1fanatic]

Yah, it's a dam_n shame. It's really one of the things that is becoming worse about Asia. Any woman that mingles even in business around white folks is a target of much gossip, stares. And just think, that girl is putting in good work at a low salary while the others are sitting on their asses in the countryside.

Ummm, the poster was there with his (presumably) Isaan gf, without her suffering the gossip, whispering etc. In fact the gf was only too happy to tell him the poor woman was a prostitute.....

The woman who was being whispered about was working away from home but DIDN'T have a farang with her....

I go back to my earlier post, they were whispering etc. cos she WASN'T a prostitute, or at least hadn't managed to bring home the required farang.

[DP25]

Suk. soi 7/1 !?!

...no!..a well know American coffee shop...unless they offering other services

Yes, but that's obviously just the day job.

Yes, all the girls at Nana Plaza after making a few thousand baht the night before wake up at 7am to go their 200 baht for 10 hour day job waiting tables, moping floors, making widgets, or office data entry.

Quite sad they don't believe her, I'd say you should take a picture but those ignorant fools would just say she paid the real worker to borrow the uniform for the photo.

[babuhavas]

first of all OP check your typing,lots of typing mistakes(not a big issue)

yes thais can't accept truth,its 1000000% nothing but the truth.

[dmax]

There's two main problems in this part of the world (Isaan).

1. Lau Kao and the dysfunctional chaos it causes.

2. Divide and rule. They love to keep each other down and hate to see anyone break free and make even a moderate success of their lives.

Well, it's my experience of it anyway.

i will second that,, same here with the wife, her friends and her family , ive seen and heard it all, they are full of jealousy and hate to see someone else bettering themselves. sure it only takes you to sit at a lady bar and hear them talking and slagging eachother off. look at the way they show their gold off to each other.

[samuibeachcomber]

There's two main problems in this part of the world (Isaan).

1. Lau Kao and the dysfunctional chaos it causes.

2. Divide and rule. They love to keep each other down and hate to see anyone break free and make even a moderate success of their lives.

Well, it's my experience of it anyway.

i will second that,, same here with the wife, her friends and her family , ive seen and heard it all, they are full of jealousy and hate to see someone else bettering themselves. sure it only takes you to sit at a lady bar and hear them talking and slagging eachother off. look at the way they show their gold off to each other.

and where do they get this from.............watching too many thai soaps

[Meridian007]

I'm afraid that it is easier for them to see some deficiency in her for not wanting to stay in Issan, and heaven forbid, date a foreigner! Rather than looking at themselves and their own inadequacies, they will gossip and lie about her.

If your girlfriend is so sure of this poor girl's actions and motives, and you want a fun spate of uncomfortable silence, ask your girlfriend if she knows what the rest of the village says about your girlfriend when she's not around! Gossip is number one in Thailand.

What is worse, is that the nicer and more innocent the girl, the more they will slag her off if she dates a foreigner. It's almost as if they are more offended that anyone other than a "bad girl" would ever think of being with anyone other than Thai.

[Tigs]

babuhavas

If you are going to be pedantic concerning other people's posts, then you need to make sure your own are correct!

f (Capital F required at the start of a sentence)irst of all OP check your typing, (space required after a comma) lots of typing mistakes (Space required before the brackets) (not a big issue)

y (New sentence, capital 'Y' required) es thai (apostrophe required as in this case 'Thai' is possessive) s can't accept truth, (space required) it (Apostrophe required as It's is short for 'it is') s 1000000% (It is not mathematically possible to have more than 100% therefore 1000000% is both meaningless and nonsensical) nothing but the truth.

There is nothing grates me more on an internet forum than the spelling police.

[IanForbes]

Good post, jpolton. It just backs up what I know about people all over the world. They would rather believe the worst of people than understand what is really happening. It somehow makes them feel better that others are worse off than themselves... even if it's not true. My Aussie mother in law was great for that. The poor white trash in the southern USA are noted for putting down the blacks for that very reason.

[jpolten]

Best part of course when it was all over, guess who got the bill? Ahh no problem $3,000 baht, .. but I mean this shit is what its all about.

WHY do you pay?? Why do you support the abuse of foreigners in Thailand?

If we STOP paying for them, they will one day stop looking at us at ATM cash cows.

Please, STOP paying for these women, have some self respect.

not sure what your saying here....maybe you posted in the wrong topic

[jpolten]

I'm afraid that it is easier for them to see some deficiency in her for not wanting to stay in Issan, and heaven forbid, date a foreigner! Rather than looking at themselves and their own inadequacies, they will gossip and lie about her.

If your girlfriend is so sure of this poor girl's actions and motives, and you want a fun spate of uncomfortable silence, ask your girlfriend if she knows what the rest of the village says about your girlfriend when she's not around! Gossip is number one in Thailand.

What is worse, is that the nicer and more innocent the girl, the more they will slag her off if she dates a foreigner. It's almost as if they are more offended that anyone other than a "bad girl" would ever think of being with anyone other than Thai.

...nice one....i might ask her what they say about her....FROM A DISTANCE...can't see it going down to well!!

[zzaa09]

There's two main problems in this part of the world (Isaan).

1. Lau Kao and the dysfunctional chaos it causes.

2. Divide and rule. They love to keep each other down and hate to see anyone break free and make even a moderate success of their lives.

Well, it's my experience of it anyway.

Sadly, climbing the ladder {in some circles} is certainly not acceptable.

[Nio]

I'm afraid that it is easier for them to see some deficiency in her for not wanting to stay in Issan, and heaven forbid, date a foreigner! Rather than looking at themselves and their own inadequacies, they will gossip and lie about her.

If your girlfriend is so sure of this poor girl's actions and motives, and you want a fun spate of uncomfortable silence, ask your girlfriend if she knows what the rest of the village says about your girlfriend when she's not around! Gossip is number one in Thailand.

What is worse, is that the nicer and more innocent the girl, the more they will slag her off if she dates a foreigner. It's almost as if they are more offended that anyone other than a "bad girl" would ever think of being with anyone other than Thai.

...nice one....i might ask her what they say about her....FROM A DISTANCE...can't see it going down to well!!

Next time you into that Coffee shop, ask one of the other employees how much they make per day, month or whatever.

It is probably ridiculously low

Then ask the girl in question where she lives in BKK and how much she is paying for rent

Between daily transportation and rent, you should have a good idea if she is only working there or as some speculate pulling a night gig

What kind of mobile phone?

Any gold jewelry?

All these are tell tale signs of what how she is living off (by herself with one job) and if her salary and these things do not match up, either a BF is giving her or she is working at night

What is your fascination that you decided to follow up on her story?

If am surprised your GF did not toss you when you told her you did that

Right now it is possible your GF is right, she might work in coffee shop and also work at night

I would never side against the GF until I had concrete facts as they always have a way of knowing more than us

[Tigs]

Lets all be honest here, some of you are as bad as those in the village, why the need for private detective work? What this girl does in her life is none of anbody's bloody business. Let her get on with her life, she seems nice let her be. Most of the young girls at Uni in Bangkok earn 30k per month as hookers at night. What she does is up to her you will never stop the elders in the village having a good gossip.

[jpolten]

I'm afraid that it is easier for them to see some deficiency in her for not wanting to stay in Issan, and heaven forbid, date a foreigner! Rather than looking at themselves and their own inadequacies, they will gossip and lie about her.

If your girlfriend is so sure of this poor girl's actions and motives, and you want a fun spate of uncomfortable silence, ask your girlfriend if she knows what the rest of the village says about your girlfriend when she's not around! Gossip is number one in Thailand.

What is worse, is that the nicer and more innocent the girl, the more they will slag her off if she dates a foreigner. It's almost as if they are more offended that anyone other than a "bad girl" would ever think of being with anyone other than Thai.

...nice one....i might ask her what they say about her....FROM A DISTANCE...can't see it going down to well!!

Next time you into that Coffee shop, ask one of the other employees how much they make per day, month or whatever.

It is probably ridiculously low

Then ask the girl in question where she lives in BKK and how much she is paying for rent

Between daily transportation and rent, you should have a good idea if she is only working there or as some speculate pulling a night gig

What kind of mobile phone?

Any gold jewelry?

All these are tell tale signs of what how she is living off (by herself with one job) and if her salary and these things do not match up, either a BF is giving her or she is working at night

What is your fascination that you decided to follow up on her story?

If am surprised your GF did not toss you when you told her you did that

Right now it is possible your GF is right, she might work in coffee shop and also work at night

I would never side against the GF until I had concrete facts as they always have a way of knowing more than us

Ok...here's a fact...they said she was a prostitute and wasn't working in a coffee shop....i have eyes and have seen her working there!!

The possibility of her working extra at night.....maybe...but didn't seem the type!!

Her rent,gold and other things.....maybe she lives with the BF in BKK and he spends a little money on her...and she saves some!!

As for siding against my GF...i didn't,just stated some facts on what i've seen...and starting to wonder what kind of woman im spending my time with, maybe she is just going with what others say but after what i told her she still wont listen

[gvallee2]

Don't you know that coffee shops and mcdonalds is where old sexpats send their girlfriends after taking them out of the bar? They do need a good backstory with proof that they are not bargirls..

Doesnt make sense that an uneducated village girl can speak a single word of english unless she's worked in a bar, even then.. why would she work a in coffee shop, theres better paying jobs for people with passable english

[jpolten]

Don't you know that coffee shops and mcdonalds is where old sexpats send their girlfriends after taking them out of the bar? They do need a good backstory with proof that they are not bargirls..

Doesnt make sense that an uneducated village girl can speak a single word of english unless she's worked in a bar, even then.. why would she work a in coffee shop, theres better paying jobs for people with passable english

Also possible that she did this type of work before,but again she didn't seem the type......soft spoken,polite girl that had passable english, not like the aggressive

bar girls with bad,even fowl english!

How do you know shes uneducated?..my understanding is that you would maybe need a degree to get a job in Mcdonalds or Starbucks and i also believe

they do background checks

[prefabs]

I'm afraid that it is easier for them to see some deficiency in her for not wanting to stay in Issan, and heaven forbid, date a foreigner! Rather than looking at themselves and their own inadequacies, they will gossip and lie about her.

If your girlfriend is so sure of this poor girl's actions and motives, and you want a fun spate of uncomfortable silence, ask your girlfriend if she knows what the rest of the village says about your girlfriend when she's not around! Gossip is number one in Thailand.

What is worse, is that the nicer and more innocent the girl, the more they will slag her off if she dates a foreigner. It's almost as if they are more offended that anyone other than a "bad girl" would ever think of being with anyone other than Thai.

...nice one....i might ask her what they say about her....FROM A DISTANCE...can't see it going down to well!!

Next time you into that Coffee shop, ask one of the other employees how much they make per day, month or whatever.

It is probably ridiculously low

Then ask the girl in question where she lives in BKK and how much she is paying for rent

Between daily transportation and rent, you should have a good idea if she is only working there or as some speculate pulling a night gig

What kind of mobile phone?

Any gold jewelry?

All these are tell tale signs of what how she is living off (by herself with one job) and if her salary and these things do not match up, either a BF is giving her or she is working at night

What is your fascination that you decided to follow up on her story?

If am surprised your GF did not toss you when you told her you did that

Right now it is possible your GF is right, she might work in coffee shop and also work at night

I would never side against the GF until I had concrete facts as they always have a way of knowing more than us

Nio, this whole thing is getting out of hand. Your post shows that you are possibly one of the biggets <deleted> on TV. Guy makes an observation about a seemingly honest woman and the judge and jury have spoken. You drum up a load of investigative bull to try and prove something. Your name Columbo in real life? No wonder we are all treated with suspicion in Thailand. What the villagers say is up to them, but narrowmindedness does not seem to end at the end of the village road. Jesus wept!!!!!!!!!!

[nasajsc]

My question is, why did the OP go especially to the coffee shop where this girl worked?

I would think his gf would be very jealous... got to be careful, lots of gf's go crazy on television

when their guy starts seeing another girl, even as a friend.

Edited January 23, 2010 by nasajsc

[koheesti]

To the OP, your girlfriend didn't say anything about you hunting down the "prostitute" you met at a party back in the village? "Gee, honey, it's nice she really works in a coffee shop and all but WHY did you find it necessary to go looking for her after everyone told you that she's a prostitute? SMACK!"

nasajsc - we were thinking the same thing at the same time.

Edited January 23, 2010 by koheesti

[jpolten]

Don't you know that coffee shops and mcdonalds is where old sexpats send their girlfriends after taking them out of the bar? They do need a good backstory with proof that they are not bargirls..

Doesnt make sense that an uneducated village girl can speak a single word of english unless she's worked in a bar, even then.. why would she work a in coffee shop, theres better paying jobs for people with passable english

Also possible that she did this type of work before,but again she didn't seem the type......soft spoken,polite girl that had passable english, not like the aggressive

bar girls with bad,even fowl english!

How do you know shes uneducated?..my understanding is that you would maybe need a degree to get a job in Mcdonalds or Starbucks and i also believe

they do background checks

My question is, why did the OP go especially to the coffee shop where this girl worked?

I would think his gf would be very jealous... got to be careful, lots of gf's go crazy on television

when their guy starts seeing another girl, even as a friend.

I thought it was obvious but i'll answer anyway........

People said she was a prostitute...she told me she worked in a famous coffee shop on sukhumvit,me being in the area thought i feel like a coffee and a look-see