Tgf Stay In The Temple......? Buffalo Story?

[eddie eagle]

Is she telling the truth......?

My TGF has gone to stay in the temple for a month. She first told me a month ago that she would have to spend time in the temple and she timed the visit to fit in with me leaving Thailand on short notice for a couple of weeks i.e. I fixed the dates not her.

Reason for her going into the temple is the monk told her on a previous visit she would have very bad luck and could die if she didn't. When I asked her if it she would shave her head like the buddist nuns I have seen she said no ...she called me last night and said she was going into the temple today but would call me from time to time becasue she gets out of the temple some times to visit her mother. The routine is two (2) meals per day plus a prayer and mediatation regime. When I asked the TGF the name of the temple she said she didn't know ....bit surprising since it is nearby to her village.

I would like to think it isn't a scam but there are too many areas of doubt plus I haven't heard of TG's going into a temple before ....I am minded to walk away from her applying the principle "if you think a TG is lying she probably is"

....any advice would be appreciated

[meom]

Can't really give you any advice but I remember a couple of years ago when I came back home from an overseas job and asked the missus what she been upto the previous weeks her reply was that she spent some time in the temple.

I asked her how was it to which she replied was ok. That was the end of it and I didn't bother anymore.

She didn't have to cut her hair either.

[chownah]

My sister-in-law did this...didn't cut her hair....for about 3 or 4 days....so it is a legitimate thing to do....absolutely. As to whether your girl friend is joking.............

[TizMe]

A guy that I know was told the same story by his TGF not too long ago when he was planning a visit to LOS.

She said "when you arrive Thailand you stay in village. I'll come back on Saturday".

Well on Thursday he got a bit bored in the village and so he jumped on the bus to Pattaya. He thought that it would be safe for him to have a beer or two in the bar that she used to work in. His idea was that he wouldn't be hassled by the girls because they all knew that he was "spoken for".

Well imagine his surprise when he walked into the bar and there's his TGF ("she's not like the other BGs" he had told me...) with another farang.

Seems they had both booked their vacations to Thailand at the same time.

[TizMe]

When I asked the TGF the name of the temple she said she didn't know ....bit surprising since it is nearby to her village.

This would have to set the alarm bells ringing.

I think that you really have 3 choices.

Believe her - and then you will always have doubts.

Drop her like a hot potato - there are plenty more fish in the sea.

Employ a PI to check up on her and her story.

Only you can decide which is the best path to follow. I think that your decision needs to take into account how much you have already invested in this relationship (financially and emotionally).

How long have you known her? How much time have you spent with her?

[eddie eagle]

Chownah .... a few guys have said TG go to the temple ...usual period is 1 -2 weeks mine says one month ....never heard of anyone doing it for one month

Tizme .....first option is no go ...so its either ditch her or hire a PI ....I have this weekend in Pattaya (on route from Singapore back to Japan) so I think I will get pissed and then decide on Monday what to do...

History is ....I met her in a bar 2 years ago ...

she had just started (yes I know heard it before) but I know she was telling the truth ...no tatoos, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, could't speak a word of english ...plus my mate who owns the bar showed me the book so I could how long she had worked there (6 days) and how many LT / ST she had done.

Her story before I met her is she worked in a factory until her Thai boy friend did the dirty on her ...this again is true I have seen her bank book + job papers etc ...

I took out of the bar immediatley I met her and in the past 2 years she has been with me all the time in Abu Dhabi and Japan, except for 2 months earlier this year when she stayed in bangkok (visa problem) during which we kept in touch every day by telephone and she stayed at her TG friend's house and went to English classes.

If she was typical BG I would't be posting this thread ....even so I am minded to walk away .....I haven't heard of TG staying in temple for one month before so gut feeling is it is in fact a "wake up call" ...anyway arrive in Pattaya tomorrow (Friday) evening ......

[Thetyim]

Sounds to me you are looking for an excuse to get rid of her.

I have heard of girls entering the temple for three months.

If the monk has said one month then she cannot argue with him.

You have a hard decision to make and will probably regret it which ever decision you come to.

Why can't you visit the temple that is the only way you can find out the truth for yourself

[eddie eagle]

Thetyim ....not looking to get rid of her just having a bit of difficulty getting my head around deciding to comit for the future and trusting her ....the problem is mine and not really casued by her ....also I was suspicious becasue I had not heard of women going into the temple ....seems from all the posts she is probably telling the truth ...

I am going to Pattaya this weekend on route from Singapore back to Japan....so I have decided to go and get pissed and see if the picture looks a bit clearer on Monday....mind you if I get on the Sambuca the picture may well be fuzzy for all next week..... not intending to go mongering.....just a few beers with the boys..........

she is a good girl and yes I would just be better trusting her....we have been living together for the last two years in Japan and Abu Dhabi...and she has not stuck me for any money over the very small monthly allowance I give her (most has gone to her family) we have had a very good relationship over the last two years........and since the timing of her visit to the temple was dictated by my business trip to Singapore (she came back to LOS with me from Japan while I was on route to Singapore last week) I will probably decide to trust her.... a big step for me with anyone....thanks again for all you comments guys...thanks for the advice, its good to talk even if over the internet..... ....

Edited June 16, 2005 by eddie eagle

[britmaveric]

Very plausible - I've known heaps of Thai ladies that have done this before. (granted for a week, but month is possible especially if monk told her) They take their religion rather serious and if she told you this I would believe her. I dare say it would be bad karma to lie about smth of this nature.

[Tiger7Moth]

I met a Thai girl (and her brother) at a University in US. Later he spent a month or so in a Temple.

She is marrying an American guy and will live in America. But, she was visiting Thailand for a few months (graduated ahead of the guy she was engaged to).

She told me she was thinking of staying in the temple her brother stayed in during her visit to Thailand (I think for a month, definitely at least a few weeks).

So, this is definitely something a TG might do.

(other things aside, she wanted to lose some weight for her wedding and this would be a benefit of staying in the temple)

[meadish_sweetball]

Very plausible - I've known heaps of Thai ladies that have done this before. (granted for a week, but month is possible especially if monk told her) They take their religion rather serious and if she told you this I would believe her. I dare say it would be bad karma to lie about smth of this nature.

I think this is the likeliest thing as well. Bargirls are often from countryside backgrounds, and tend to take soothsayers'/monks' word as law.

She is *probably* not lying to you about this.

[Ajarn]

Guess I'm a bit jaded, but I'd suggest maybe she isn't bs'ing you.

Though not knowing the name of the wat sure is a red flag for me. Almost defies explanation in this case, it seems..

Real easy to confirm the story, though...

[Nam Kao]

Eddie, sounds fishy not knowing the name of the Wat she is staying...

be careful

nam

[eddie eagle]

given the whole thing quite a bit of thought ....and because of the unresolved doubts (on her own for two months in Bangkok waiting for a visa, long stay in the temple - one month, and her not knowing the name of the temple) I have mainly written her off .....seems harsh in view of the fact she has been with me for two years in Abu Dhabi and Japan but I have had the dirty done on me once before in farangland and I have worked overseas long enough to see the tricks the BG's in the various countries get up to ...the general rule being that if there is any reason for doubt then the BG is usually doing at least what you think she is up to and more ......... even so its tempting to listen to some of the advice and to trust her ........... at the moment she is supposed to be in the temple so we are not in contact ....................I will let you guys know how it ends up ....

[duke69]

depends what is the definition for TEMPLE.

My TEMPLE is the stadium

may be your TGF's TEMPLE is NANA HOTEL!!

Just take it easy, at least is cheaper than a Bufalo, I saved life to thousands of Bufalos ..... and they are all expensive

[bkkmadness]

given the whole thing quite a bit of thought ....and because of the unresolved doubts (on her own for two months in Bangkok waiting for a visa, long stay in the temple - one month, and her not knowing the name of the temple) I have mainly written her off .....seems harsh in view of the fact she has been with me for two years in Abu Dhabi and Japan but I have had the dirty done on me once before in farangland and I have worked overseas long enough to see the tricks the BG's in the various countries get up to ...the general rule being that if there is any reason for doubt then the BG is usually doing at least what you think she is up to and more ......... even so its tempting to listen to some of the advice and to trust her ........... at the moment she is supposed to be in the temple so we are not in contact ....................I will let you guys know how it ends up ....

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I'm sorry to sound a bit harsh here Eddie, but after a 2 year relationship in which she has been with you all the time and a good girlfriend to you, you've already "mainly written her off" just because of some unresolved doubts?

Sounds like a lot of love and respect was in that relationship. I understand you've come on here to confirm the women in a temple thing but really you should know by now whether she's bullshitting you or not right?

At least have the guts to ask her about it and tell her you have doubts, she deserves that at the very least doesn't she, since you're asking a bunch of strangers on here about advice that will affect her life perhaps you might let her have some more say in the matter?

She's your girlfriend, not a business deal that you think has gone wrong, show a bit of respect to her.

Of course she may be stringing you along, theres no doubt it could happen as it happens all the time, and I'm not naive to how women act, but my point is, ask her the name of the temple again, if she doesn't know it, ask her why she doesn't know it, tell her you have doubts, find out her side of the story and then make your judgement, or you may very well be writing off a good relationship just because you didn't have the balls to ask her about it face to face and just relied on your own paranoia and a few strangers on a forum to make that decision for you.

Good luck.

Edited June 21, 2005 by bkkmadness

[HarryHacker]

Unlike me not to be cynical, however a previous GF went to a temple for a few days due to a medical complaint. She also did not know the name of the temple as it was one ‘grandmother’ knew and recommended, remember they believe in certain monks having special powers for different ailments.

On this occasion I’m fairly certain she was not lying!

Up to you to give ‘benefit of the doubt’ or ‘when in doubt, kick out’, good luck.

[mcfester]

Seems a bit iffy to me, two months alone in BKK waiting for the visa, now as soon as you come back to LOS and you have to go to Singapore she suddenly has to stay at the temple for a month.

Sounds like she's young and niave and maybe someone else is pulling her strings, best to get the full picture and find out whats really going on cos at the end of the day she might just be that little innocent girl that doesn't really know which way to go yet...

Seems rather strange that your both here now in LOS yet your not in contact, even the monks all have mobiles nowadays.

Good luck and let us know the outcome

[pnustedt]

One thing for sure - her relationship with you is not top of her priorities! - Time to move on!

[bkkmadness]

now as soon as you come back to LOS and you have to go to Singapore she suddenly has to stay at the temple for a month.

Seems rather strange that your both here now in LOS yet your not in contact, even the monks all have mobiles nowadays.

Good luck and let us know the outcome

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

she didn't suddenly go to the temple, the OP said she fixed the dates to time in for when in wasn't in LOS didn't she?

My TGF has gone to stay in the temple for a month. She first told me a month ago that she would have to spend time in the temple and she timed the visit to fit in with me leaving Thailand on short notice for a couple of weeks i.e. I fixed the dates not her.

And I don't think he's in LOS now, he's out of the country but popping into Pattaya soon from Singapore right?

when in doubt, kick out

I don't subscribe to that method about anything, I think when "in doubt, find out" seems to be more logical.

[bkkmadness]

One thing for sure - her relationship with you is not top of her priorities! - Time to move on!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Explain your reasoning here please? I don't follow your statement at all. She is Buddhist and going to a temple for a month which is something that many Thai people do. Sometimes people have got to do something for herself, it's only one month out of a 2 year relationship where she by choice has not been by his side.

Time to move on? I think time to ask her about it and find out for himself is what's needed.

[Nickerelastic]

Haven't any of you guys considered the op's girlfriend has gone to the temple to take stock of her relationship. As has been previously stated they have been together for 2 years. She may just need some time to herself.

Furthermore the op stated that there was some problem with visas.

[thedude]

okay let me get this right, she has been with you for 2 years, you basically look after her and her family. why on earth would she want to return to the bar?!? have you been treating her right? its not like being a bar girl is anything people aspire to, let alone miss it enough to want to return to that life. i don't see it. these girls get into the bar business so that they could end up with a farang, travel the world and basically live contentedly for the rest of their lives!

some of you out there really have issues.

Edited June 21, 2005 by thedude

[HarryHacker]

when in doubt, kick out

I don't subscribe to that method about anything, I think when "in doubt, find out" seems to be more logical.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Madness, that was a touch of sarcasm, I would have hoped that the OP, or anyone,

would have come to the ‘benefit of doubt’ after reading the statement I made, thus

realizing ‘when in doubt, kick out’ was not the best option!

[bkkmadness]

Sorry HH, I did realise that wasn't your thoughts on the matter actually, just wanted to explain that this is too common method of thinking that many people subscribe to when talking about Thai girls and that there are better ways to sort out your doubts.

apologies, I wasn't pointing a finger at you, just commenting on one of the methods you happened to mention.

Edited June 21, 2005 by bkkmadness

[HarryHacker]

Sorry HH, I did realise that wasn't your thoughts on the matter actually, just wanted to explain that this is too common method of thinking that many people subscribe to when talking about Thai girls and that there are better ways to sort out your doubts.

apologies, I wasn't pointing a finger at you, just commenting on one of the methods you happened to mention.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I know where u r coming from and no apology needed.

[SeaVisionBurma]

Just reading the original post again.

Can't see anywhere in it which specifically says the female in question is a bar girl (BG).

In fact as I see it, it reads TG or TGF (Thai Girl or Thai Girlfriend).

Why were most of you so quick to label her as a BG, instead of you normal, everyday, standard issue female Thai citizen??

Regardless of what the OP has since added by way of qualifying info - most replies were made with the assumption of BG vs TG - or correct me if I have misread something.....

[HarryHacker]

Just reading the original post again.

Can't see anywhere in it which specifically says the female in question is a bar girl (BG).

In fact as I see it, it reads TG or TGF (Thai Girl or Thai Girlfriend).

Why were most of you so quick to label her as a BG, instead of you normal, everyday, standard issue female Thai citizen??

Regardless of what the OP has since added by way of qualifying info - most replies were made with the assumption of BG vs TG - or correct me if I have misread something.....

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I can't see what difference it makes what her background is.

[bkkmadness]

Read a few more of his posts SVB he does say he took her out of the bar and she was originally a bargirl, something that as a newbie he probably didn't realise he shouldn't have mentioned considering it usually instigates some kind of witch hunt on here from many posters and too many biased opinions from jaded people.

As far as I read though she hasn't worked in a bar for 2 years and has been living abroad since that time with the OP.

I'm surprised no one has told him to download Private Dancer yet to solve all his problems.

[SeaVisionBurma]

I can't see what difference it makes what her background is.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Doesn't make a difference for her I suppose, my comment was more on the attitudes of the OP and some of the other posters:

I would like to think it isn't a scam but there are too many areas of doubt plus I haven't heard of TG's going into a temple before ....I am minded to walk away from her applying the principle "if you think a TG is lying she probably is"

Other posters were quick to say that going and spending time in the temple was not an unusual cultural consideration - a more appropriate response IMHO