* bbq means squating by a charcoal fired aluminuim hotplate, turning slice pork with your chopsticks and drinking Leo with ice

* you automatically add a scoop of dried chilli, sugar,fish sauce, etc to your noodles

* you share a large coke in a plastic ice bucket by sipping from about 7 straws

* theres always room for som tum, even after a big meal

This is your barbecue of choice.

This is your karaoke of choice.

back for holidays in your Western hometown:

- you stand on the footpath and stare and grin at everyone

- you call the waiter 'nong', ask for the 'local, not tourist' menu, say 'check bin'

- you become nervous if no one from behind top up your half full glass

- you wait at the super that someone collects your items at the cashier

- you answer your neighbour by raising the eyebrows quickly

- you show your driving license at the public swimming pool for a better price

- you always have a chili shaker in the pocket of your jacket

- you leave your apartment in pyjamas and a shower cap for a quick shopping downstairs

...

...

On a really hot day, you turn on the air-con and set it to 32ºC.

When you start to say "Mai Pan Rai" even when thing start to get serious.

Riding a motobike without a helmet.

Digging your nose while standing at the bus stop.

Try to run away when a foreigner try to speak with you in English.

Wearing your short inside your pant instead of underwear.

Parking your car in front of your neighbor's house

Screaming and yelling with friends at internet cafe

Carry at least 2 cellphones in your pocket

Thinking Korean's style is attractive

Watch movie in Thai dubbed

When watching channels 3,5,7 brings tears of empathy to your eyes.

when you get paid for the next poo yai baan election

And you don't even notice the ***BOINGGG*** noises any more.

When your wife needs a ceremonial pig head and you advise on which shop has the best selection and prices.

I was in Bangers for many years before my first trip to London. Stayed in a nice little Guest House Bed & Breakfast. Walked (novel concept) about two blocks to the office. Had to cross one major road (one lane each direction) There I came upon the dreaded Zebra lines, Living all those years along Sukhumvit I knew what these Zebra lines meet to one all (drivers: any body inside the lines are fair game , Pedestrian : know that they are fair game). It was quite obvious what was required to cross over the busy road, as I walked up to the intersection I eyed the traffic, more than enough room to dart across the road between traffic. Then the unexpected happened, the car on the right stopped, I knew this was a trick to get me in the crossing area. I stood my ground and waved him on. Then the car coming from the left stopped, Ha a conspiracy they were trying to get me in cross fire. After looking both ways a couple of times and the cars backing up in each direction I made a mad dash across the road, I should note I made it safely. Now I can only laugh thinking what those drivers must have thought

Ha a conspiracy they were trying to get me in cross fire. After looking both ways a couple of times and the cars backing up in each direction I made a mad dash across the road, I should note I made it safely. Now I can only laugh thinking what those drivers must have thought

Now I have a bike.

Gambling that I can learn quicker than they can get me.

when running in the park and there is slight rain, you are not surprised to see joggers running with umbrellas up, or the sight of someone on a moped with an umbrella up is normal

You Know You'Ve Been Too Long In Thailand When...you cannot remember your last solid <deleted>

Some very funny stuff.

You know you've been there too long, when you realize you've been there too long.

When you think you can ride a motor bike in the rain holding an umbrella will keep you dry.

I was in Bangers for many years before my first trip to London. Stayed in a nice little Guest House Bed & Breakfast. Walked (novel concept) about two blocks to the office. Had to cross one major road (one lane each direction) There I came upon the dreaded Zebra lines, Living all those years along Sukhumvit I knew what these Zebra lines meet to one all (drivers: any body inside the lines are fair game , Pedestrian : know that they are fair game). It was quite obvious what was required to cross over the busy road, as I walked up to the intersection I eyed the traffic, more than enough room to dart across the road between traffic. Then the unexpected happened, the car on the right stopped, I knew this was a trick to get me in the crossing area. I stood my ground and waved him on. Then the car coming from the left stopped, Ha a conspiracy they were trying to get me in cross fire. After looking both ways a couple of times and the cars backing up in each direction I made a mad dash across the road, I should note I made it safely. Now I can only laugh thinking what those drivers must have thought

:lol:

Oh so very true. I can just picture it. Thanks for the laugh.

The reverse is also true. I've seen confused American tourists waiting forever to try and cross a simple busy roadway in Chiang Mai. I've guided more than a few of the more nervous ones across.

Then the unexpected happened, the car on the right stopped, I knew this was a trick to get me in the crossing area. I stood my ground and waved him on. Then the car coming from the left stopped, Ha a conspiracy they were trying to get me in cross fire.

I feel you mate.

A few years ago a car stopped at a pedestrian crossing I was standing at. There were no other cars around at the time. I looked at him. He looked at me. Full eye contact. Naturally (and stupidly) assuming he was stopping for me I started to cross. He then blasted off narrowly missing me giving me a " <deleted> are you doing?" look.

I "love" it when I'm driving here and a car stops for no apparent reason in the most inappropriate of places. Middle of a roundabout. Something like that. I tend to approach them in my vehicle with the trepidation of a big game hunter approaching a mad bull elephant. Has he sensed my presence? If I attempt to drive round him will he panic and take the side out of my car? Should i wait for him to make his move? Decisions, decisions.....

i guess you are here to long when :

- having to check your same address every 90 days does not bother you anymore

- having to begg each year and have a mountain of paperwork and chaning rules which are not even posted on their outdated website (still referring to the old address) , does not bother you anymore

- if paying 300 baht or more for 'national parks' even you live here many years, pay taxes, etc... while thai people pay nothing

You think doing wheelies on a motor bike looks really cool.

You make up for waking 30 minutes late by speeding on your 5 minute drive to work.

When buying wine, you respond to the sales person's offer of help by saying either white or red.

You finally accept that waiting 10 minutes for your change is normal but waiting 3 extra seconds after a traffic light has turned green can get you killed.

You sit on your feet while eating.

You can grunt in at least 10 different tones.

Your farts do not smell bad but everyone else's do.

When calling for service you start out the conversation with how many times you have already called.

You no longer ask a person if they speak English because you know their response does not matter.

You are obsessed with carrying ridiculous amounts of small change with you at all times.

"Finished" is a normal response to any question.

You ask a taxi driver which way he is going.

Your 5 toes now point in 6 directions.

You buy shoes by first evaluating how easy it is to get them on and off.

You choose a restaurant by the amount of Christmas tree lights strung up outside.

When somebody asks you about your net worth, you respond with what kind of mobile phone you own.

You frequently go to the doctor but you never take the pills he gives you.

You turn off you motor bike lights to save electricity.

You only charge your mobile phone when you need to use it.

Your younger sister who was born 2 years after you, is now 5 years younger than you.

When tired, it is because you are not eating enough.

The worlds best athletes are the ones who had plenty to eat.

Everybody you have known more than 10 years is your cousin.

You have at least 3 lady boys in your family tree.

The girl you just started dating tells you her family are very "high up" in society.

Only to find when you go round, her house is built on stilts!

You Know You'Ve Been Too Long In Thailand When...

When you no longer seem to notice the relentless Thai bashing on Thai Visa forums by those who feel so frustrated with their own lives they have to bolster their shaky egos through racialist comments.

Great reading here and LOL, but you guys in Thailand must be so unedumacated, as nothing like that happens here in Cambodia.

You Know You'Ve Been Too Long In Thailand When..

Some one takes offence to a simple bit of fun and you automatically know "they are Farang" so it is ok......

Oh and

You Know You'Ve Been Too Long In Thailand When...

Someone referrers to EGOS and Being Raciest

When you know EGOS = Face

And being Racist, Sexist, Ageist, or any other **ist is non existent in Thailand.... especially if you work here...

You Know You'Ve Been Too Long In Thailand When...

When you no longer seem to notice the relentless Thai bashing on Thai Visa forums by those who feel so frustrated with their own lives they have to bolster their shaky egos through racialist comments.

"Relentless"

"Frustrated"

"Bolster"

"Shaky"

Alas Yorrick words I am unfamiliar with!

Someone needs to find a sense of humour.

Thai bashing, far from it, TV is fairly moderated, read some other internet forums for some moronic Thai p*** taking.

...when your turn off your cell-phone because its lighning and thunder close by, but happily go around with an umbrella or sit wait under a tree.

I laughed so hard I teared up at this one!

When go back to your native land and you say Krap at the end of every other sentence

When you fly back to your home country or elsewhere you miss the toilet ass spray more than your Wife/GF.

You hit it right on the head with that!!

You need to improve your aim

Covered but in order:

1. You pick your nose vigorously anytime anywhere

2. You cover your mouth when using a toothpick and remove the content for inspection and wipe it on the plate you just ate from

3. You stick ya dom in your nose while sleeping on the commuter train

4. You routinely ride your motorcycle on the sidewalk

5. Everyone in your moobahn knows your name and you know 20 out of 200

And the then the reason you know for sure 100% and need to leave soon.

99A. Your mia noy moves in to take help take care of your new born.

When you can't spell Thailand

Thigh-Land