Being With Someone Underage

[LostinBkkagain]

Hi, i'm new to the forum. I've recently split from a Thai girl back in the UK who i'd been with for 5 years, she was a post university student and was very clever and also the same age (now 30) We split up this year as she cheated on me with a friend. They're now living together. I got myself in a state over this so decided to come back and try again here. I recently passed a tefl course so i'm looking to find work, but... I met a girl after completing my tefl in a bar she told me she was 19, she wasn't shy but seemed very friendly (as they do I know) but extra nice, so I treated myself and paid the bar fine. we got quite close, she was stunning, best looking girl in any of the bars around there and even my mates where impressed until they found out where I found her. Anyway she ended up leaving the bar to be with me, I told her I cant support her family but she never seemed bothered. We left the place where I done the tefl and headed for BKK as thats where i'm going to be based. I've moved into a condo with her and its been good until this week. She asked me for 5000baht for her family last week, she didn't demand it so I gave in and gave it to her. I told her i'm not doing this every month as I wont be able to afford it. This week I thought i'd sort things out, I told her i'm going to find work this week and want her to do the same, all she needs to bring in is enough to keep her greedy mum happy, i'll pay for everything else. Then the truth came out. She told me she has just recently turned 17, before I met her. I never checked her ID card to see her age, I just assumed when she told me she was 19 and working in a bar she was old enough. I've ended it as shes underage and I dont want any problems, she destroyed by this as she will have to go back to a bar. 17 is too young in the UK imo, but i'd be with her there as i'm not doing anything wrong, shes mature for a Thai girl that age, i've met girls 25+ less mature, I suppose the bar life has made her seem older. It dont seem fair I have to send her back because I dont want to go to prison so she can go back to a career her mum wants for her, and will be sleeping with men older than me. What is the law for underage relationships here? I know 18 is the age for sex so i've already broke that one, i'm sad I have to end this relationship, i'm not angry with her, but the bar as it was owned by a farang and her greedy alcoholic ya ba smoking mum for sending her to work because shes too f*cked up to do anything herslef!!! What would other people do in this situation? Shes going back to that bar tomorrow which is breaking my heart!

Any replys will be appreciated even flames. Thanks

[Mario2008]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_Asia#Thailand:

The age of consent in Thailand is 15 (with the below caveat) as specified by article 279 of the Thai Criminal Code. The current legislation applies to all regardless of gender and/or sexual orientation, although it is a common misconception that it applies only to women.^{[citation needed]}

However parts of the Prevention and Suppression of Prostitution Act which disallow any sexual contact with prostitutes under the age of 18, are widely interpreted by some local authorities to cover sexual acts classed as "obscenity for personal gratification". Also from the Penal Code Amendment Act of 1997 Section 283bis, having sex with a child under 18 is a compoundable offense even with the consent of that person. The parent or the child may file charges against the other side if he or she later regrets his or her own action. This ostensibly makes the Thai unfettered age of consent 18.

A high profile example of this application of the law was a statutory rape charge filed against the lead singer of the Thai band Big Ass for allegedly having had sex with a (then) 16 year old girl. The charge was filed by the girl after the singer refused to take responsibility for her baby. The singer has since been cleared of being the baby's father due to the results of a paternity test and he received 2 years suspended sentence.^[43][44]

If she is away from home without her parents consent extra charges can be brought for keeping her away from her parents.

[balo]

I'm sorry to hear that , cant give you any advice .

If I were you I would try to forget her as soon as possible. And maybe move to a new location since the police could come and knock on your door soon and that will be a big problem for you.

Edited August 11, 2010 by balo

[Pdaz]

Actually 18yrs is only the age of consent in regards to prostitution.. The real age of consent amongst the general population not involved in selling sex is 15yrs with parental consent. So as long as her Mother is okay with you sleeping with her daughter there really isn't a problem. She isn't working at a bar or a brothel, you aren't 'paying' for sex any more that any other guy that has a live-in girlfriend.

No different to plenty of Thai guys doing the same thing.. So I'd get something in writing from the Mother saying she's happy with the relationship and don't stress about it.. If she looks older and doesn't wear high school uniforms etc who's to know ?

[bonobo]

I am not sure about UK law, but US law makes it illegal for an adult to have sex with anyone under 18 regardless of the local laws.

[mrtoad]

The problem he may have, is that he could easily end up being extorted for more cash - as he is on a pretty stick wicket IMO.

[Mario2008]

Actually 18yrs is only the age of consent in regards to prostitution.. The real age of consent amongst the general population not involved in selling sex is 15yrs with parental consent. So as long as her Mother is okay with you sleeping with her daughter there really isn't a problem. She isn't working at a bar or a brothel, you aren't 'paying' for sex any more that any other guy that has a live-in girlfriend.

No different to plenty of Thai guys doing the same thing.. So I'd get something in writing from the Mother saying she's happy with the relationship and don't stress about it.. If she looks older and doesn't wear high school uniforms etc who's to know ?

Not completely true. As the article shows, even with consent and not engaged in prostitution criminal charges can still be brought by the girl or her parents.

Edited August 11, 2010 by Mario2008
quote added

[David9988]

It's sickening that these bar owners (many of them farang apparently) employee and prostitute 16 year old adolescents.

[jubby]

Assuming your not a Troll, I'd say just get on with it. No ones going to be interested I wouldn't have thought.

She'll soon be 18, time flys don't you know

I think UK law is 16.

Edited August 11, 2010 by jubby

[meom]

It seems some Thai people start counting from 1 instead of 0 when it comes to age meaning when they say they're 17 they're actually 16 etc.

[powderpuff]

Bad luck mate. Time to let her go.

Thanks Mario. It seems the Mom is the pimp so I guess she has "consented"

Of course they cal always change the story later.

You have learned a good lesson.

These folks will listen to their parents instead of theor own (un)common sense.

[carmine]

The problem he may have, is that he could easily end up being extorted for more cash - as he is on a pretty stick wicket IMO.

I think the wise old toad is right here. Sorry for your predicament but i think you should move on from this one. There are, afterall many, more fish in the sea.

[smokie36]

No doubt any school looking to employ teachers would look favourably on your 'stable' relationship.

Really I'd be considering my actions....whether I should be teaching kids and maybe looking for a partner rather than a sex toy. If you were 21 I could understand but at 30??

[IanForbes]

As attractive as she might be, use your big head and not your little one... walk away as far as possible and as quickly as possible. Once the mother learns her cash cow (you) is no longer supplying her needs you'll be conned anyway she can twist it. Unfortunately, we can't save the world and there are those that don't want to be saved... even if it is the sensible thing to do. I intentionally stay away from the Philippines for just the scam you are talking about. There is no way of knowing the difference between a well built clever teenager from a woman in her twenties.

[balo]

Well maybe he don't know where to pick up girls except in the bars?

Anyway he learned his lesson now.....

[mrtoad]

It's sickening that these bar owners (many of them farang apparently) employee and prostitute 16 year old adolescents.

Quite right, it's all the fault of the farang

Another new reincarnation per chance?

[DP25]

It's sickening that these bar owners (many of them farang apparently) employee and prostitute 16 year old adolescents.

Glad to see you survived your dangerous bout with aspirin

[mrtoad]

It's sickening that these bar owners (many of them farang apparently) employee and prostitute 16 year old adolescents.

Glad to see you survived your dangerous bout with aspirin

So was it you that phoned Bumrungrad on his behalf?

[david_dyer]

as a future teacher you should know better.

second I would be deleting this post now that you have admitted to consumating the crime.

[Pdaz]

Meanwhile thousands of Thai men visit 'Karaoke' bars, 'Massage' parlours and brothels intending to have sex with the youngest girls available.. back in the village pretty much every 20 yo Thai fella is trying to find a 15 yo girlfriend to sweetalk into giving it up.. And so it continues... Everywhere in Asia, Africa and a large part of the rest of the World young pubescent girls are seen as attractive and the 'ideal' for sex... Even the West sexualises young teens in adverts, music and the movies... But then says you're a paedo if you fancy a girl under 21... Talk abut a mixed message...

Not that long ago many of your grandmothers got married at 16... Some cos they had too ( and you know what that means they had done )

The war on 'paedos' seems to be the new 'war on drugs'... It has about the same chance of sucess

[sarahsbloke]

Move house, forget about her.

How would she find you, I bet she can't even remember your proper name.

[Ulysses G.]

If it helps at all, from what I've seen, 17 is usually just ignored unless there is a vendetta against someone or a scam going on. A lot of these girls have been married with several kids by then. Any younger than that might be taken more seriously.

[IanForbes]

If it helps at all, from what I've seen, 17 is usually just ignored unless there is a vendetta against someone or a scam going on. A lot of these girls have been married with several kids by then. Any younger than that might be taken more seriously.

Too true, Ulysses. The 14 year old daughter of the Thai family I take care of just had a baby to a 15 year old Thai youth. I was pissed off, but there is nothing I can do about it. All the young women in a hill tribe village I visited were married by the time they were 16. You can tell because the young girls all wear white and the married women wear colourful woven clothing.

[scorecard]

As attractive as she might be, use your big head and not your little one... walk away as far as possible and as quickly as possible. Once the mother learns her cash cow (you) is no longer supplying her needs you'll be conned anyway she can twist it. Unfortunately, we can't save the world and there are those that don't want to be saved... even if it is the sensible thing to do. I intentionally stay away from the Philippines for just the scam you are talking about. There is no way of knowing the difference between a well built clever teenager from a woman in her twenties.

You've had a taste of the broader family situation. Ask yourself the question - "will it ever change or will there be 'unwelcome surprises' popping up continuously"? Seems the answer is YES!

Be brave, don't get yourself in deeper, make a decision about your future with your head not your heart. Easy to say, not easy to do, be brave!

[Travel2003]

30 and 17?

Did I understand it correct?

What does a 30 and a 17 year old talk about?

I normally have no problem with age differences.

Even 80/25 is much much better than 30/17.

I think either the OP must be extremely naive/immature, or he is trolling.

I bet it is the latter.

[robblok]

30 and 17?

Did I understand it correct?

What does a 30 and a 17 year old talk about?

I normally have no problem with age differences.

Even 80/25 is much much better than 30/17.

I think either the OP must be extremely naive/immature, or he is trolling.

I bet it is the latter.

No need to talk when you first meet.. just ............... then when that passion is gone it gets boring and you trade her in for a new one.. or at least so i have been told.

[MSingh]

Whether she's 19 or 17, why on Earth would you move in with a Bird who you've only known for 5 mins, yet alone are 10 Years plus older than ??

Are you really that desperate & insecure that you need a little Thai Girl to tell you how great you are & give you a cuddle ??

Honestly, it's pathetic Fella, sort yourself out..

You said flames were ok AND what i am saying is the truth too so it's not really flaming anyway...

Edited August 11, 2010 by MSingh

[nocturn]

university girl to underage bar skank in sixty seconds. sounds pretty desperate to me.

[CarlBkk]

30 and 17?

Did I understand it correct?

What does a 30 and a 17 year old talk about?

I normally have no problem with age differences.

Even 80/25 is much much better than 30/17.

I think either the OP must be extremely naive/immature, or he is trolling.

I bet it is the latter.

Even more, what does any basically educated Westerner talk about with a foreign bargirl?

Rubbish. That's the general topic of conversation. The guy lowers his IQ to meet hers, whilst she at first might be bothered to fake higher IQ to meet in the middle. Alright for a beer and a dirty joke or two ok.....but after a month or two of that?! OP is going to be an English teacher. OP will have opportunites abound for girls on a similar IQ level but a few years younger than him. But they might not be so dirty. Will he take them?

[BigPanda]

Sorry for the op...

But on the other hand, if she is so mature as he seems to think, why would she needs her mother to decide for her life...

Huh wake up troll or beginner being played around.