Isn'T It Considered Rude To Go To A House And Use Their Stuff

[johna]

My neighbor borrows my motorbike occasionally, but never puts any gas in the tank, wife's relatives have borrowed the lawn mower and returned it broken with out telling me.

They borrowed shovels to mix cement and let the cement dry on the shovel.

Basically they borrow whatever they want without asking, and do not return or take care of my stuff.

Yes its two way, I can in theory borrow from them, but I do not need a tractor.

[robblok]

My neighbor borrows my motorbike occasionally, but never puts any gas in the tank, wife's relatives have borrowed the lawn mower and returned it broken with out telling me.

They borrowed shovels to mix cement and let the cement dry on the shovel.

Basically they borrow whatever they want without asking, and do not return or take care of my stuff.

Yes its two way, I can in theory borrow from them, but I do not need a tractor.

As such i dont have a problem with people lending stuff.. as long as they ask and take care of my stuff. But sounds like that is a bit too much to ask.

[Jimi007]

I've never been a big tools guy. I have however always encouraged friends and neighbors to buy quality tools, because I like to borrow the best. My dad was like that too. We lived next door to a ship's mechanic who was seldom around but had a comprehensive set of quality tools that we'd borrow from his wife. In exchange my dad let her eldest daughter give me Chinese lessons for free. Did I mention my dad was a great negotiator?

Anyway, I wish we had some proper tools when I got locked in the bathroom today. I closed the door, heard the lock snap of its own accord, tried to re-open it but couldn't. I called Mrs T through the door to get me out and she examined our sorry excuse for a tool chest to see what she could use. She decided on a hammer. While she banged away on the other side, I figured I might as well brush my teeth and take a shower. By the time I was done, there was a hole where the door handle had been, but I was still locked in.

I could see Mrs T fiddling with a pipe wrench and wanted to ask how the hel_l that was supposed to help, but restrained myself as I could see that she was much agitated after twenty minutes of banging. She soon realized the wrench was useless. She went off and returned with two butter knives and handed me one through the hole. We twiddled the knives from both sides of the now damaged lock mechanism and finally managed to get the door open.

The problem occurred because of the bad quality lock we'd installed and I wanted to tell my good wife she shouldn't have bought that cheap lock, but this wasn't an "I-told-you-so" moment. It never is, by the way.

We now have some idea as to how long it would take a burglar armed with a hammer and butter knife to break into our toilet: one hour. That's enough time for even the lethargic Thai police to get here, so the toilet would be a good place to store our valuables. Now all we need are some valuables.

We've agreed that good tools are essential to have around and have begun canvassing our neighbors to get an inventory.

Our tool chest:

Funniest post i've read in ages! Thanks Takkar. :jap:

That was a good story Takkar!

I know the topic is about strangers using your stuff without permission and I'd have to say, it's very inconsiderate. Especially anyone playing with my golf clubs, unless it's a friend at the practice tee! But I've been known to borrow a ladder from my neighbor, I just say a kamoey come and take! Just joking of course. I usually always ask first though...

[Furbie]

Yeah, trades people or domestic staff you have had for a while may start to take some liberties. My old maid showed up with her daughter for a week of work once. No big deal, until the phone bill came. She made over 3,000 THB worth of calls to mobile phones. It really stood out, since I never use the home phone unless ordering some food delivery. She did pay for it. I would hate to have been her daughter that day.

[thaipod]

Every time we have workers in our house my wife insists our maids to stand in the rooms with them , normally one on the ground floor and one in the room they are working and she locks all other rooms especially my room that has tools and equipment as they always want to borrow your tools and put them in their pickup as they are leaving.

We had workers fixing our water pump on the roof a few years back and went into our holy room and stole buddha amulets which were very expensive which there boss denied of course, ever since I do not trust these people .

Now we use our friends interior design company staff which have been good as they send a foreman to supervise their staff and there is good quality control.

[Chunky1]

Jesus Christ! Why doesn't your wife set these people straight?

[maccaroni man]

My neighbor borrows my motorbike occasionally, but never puts any gas in the tank, wife's relatives have borrowed the lawn mower and returned it broken with out telling me.

They borrowed shovels to mix cement and let the cement dry on the shovel.

Basically they borrow whatever they want without asking, and do not return or take care of my stuff.

Yes its two way, I can in theory borrow from them, but I do not need a tractor.

As such i dont have a problem with people lending stuff.. as long as they ask and take care of my stuff. But sounds like that is a bit too much to ask.

my favorite line when lending things i.e. tools, trucks etc... is "you break it you buy it" tends to keep things in order

[kopite]

Jesus Christ! Why doesn't your wife set these people straight?

was what i was thinking. me missus would never let that happen. had the brother in law round the other day, stuffing 12000 baht into my palm, which id forgotten about. nice surprise

the old saying "what goes around comes around" springs to mind. but its the choices we make in this country that makes that saying workable!

[bifftastic]

I've never been a big tools guy.

<snip>

We now have some idea as to how long it would take a burglar armed with a hammer and butter knife to break into our toilet: one hour. That's enough time for even the lethargic Thai police to get here, so the toilet would be a good place to store our valuables. Now all we need are some valuables.

We've agreed that good tools are essential to have around and have begun canvassing our neighbors to get an inventory.

Our tool chest:

Thank you, made me laugh

Whilst I agree that sharing things is nice, where I come from we used to do that all the time, things have changed somewhat but it still happens.

In Thailand, my g/f always locks the bedroom door and the front door when we go out. They're not very good locks, wouldn't stop anyone breaking in, but when we come home it means the house isn't full of other people watching our TV it's no different from their TV but maybe it seems like it's better because it's ours, or they felt the 'urge' to watch TV and just happened to be near our house.

I don't mind people using my stuff, well, some of my stuff anyway, but they need to ask first. (no I don't have any tools Thakkar ) I will now always carry a butter knife in case of emergency

I'll need to know where you are at all times, in case I need to borrow it from you.

you can register with the 'butterknifehelpline', www.butterknifeemergency.com it's free, they link you via gps on your 'phone to other members in your area. Their slogan is 'you're never more than 30 minutes away from a butter knife' and 'butter knives don't free people, people do'

Please use butter knives responsibly, the above post does not imply any liability on the part of the OP, any subsequent poster, or any who comment in any way at all on said post for injury, loss, or defamation of character resulting in inappropriate or dangerous use of food implements, utensils or tools. Butter Knife Helpline is a non-profit organisation regulated by the Office of Standards in Bathroom Etiquette

Edited August 13, 2010 by bifftastic

[elkangorito]

Borrowing stuff & either not returning it or returning it in an unusable state, is not acceptable anywhere. This is simply abusing a privilege. As far as I am aware, it is not a 'right' to damage or destroy the property of another in Thailand & get away with it.

[powderpuff]

What would have been cool would have been to sneak up on the morons playing with your golf clubs then bang two trash can lids together to scare the bejesus out of them & then howl with laughter at their fright.

Loss of face doesn't even begin to describe it.

You have to laugh like you just saw a clown fall down a manhole. Laugh till tears roll out of your eyes, doubled over or on the ground.

You know "it's all in fun man"

[moe666]

Johna borrow the tractor and just leave it along side the road and if they ask just say you got a better ride.

When I was a kid we had the first TV on the block and all of the neighbors would come and watch. But these days you are lucky to know your neighbor.

As my mom said tall fences make good neighbors.

Just keep it locked up.

My girlfriend is always complaining about friends and relatives who show up and eat and stay way to long but donot offer any money to help out.

Edited August 13, 2010 by moe666

[upinthesky]

Fortunately, I never welcome any one into my house.

[kikoman]

I have never had that experience in Thailand " complete stranger entering my yard much less enter my home and helping themselves to anything of my belongings, in 5 years in a Thai village I never lost any of my property.

Thai hired workers ,always have their families visit while they are working, with mom working in the rice fields when the children come home from school they come over to my house, until the father goes home or mom comes for them. Creates no problem for me. They sit in my sala and do their homework.

My neighbors enter my yard and pick some vegetables for dinner, as my wife does the same in their gardens ,it is an excepted practice among neighbor in our village.

My wife's family is always welcome to our home, be it for a couple of hours visit to a 3-4 day stay, when they come to our village to attend a family function or funeral. Like most families the girls friend/ family and classmate always come over to use the computer or just visit they always present themselves to me and ask if they can use the computer/or just to acknowledge they are here, when they leave the house they come and wai me and say they are leaving.I have no problem with that as this is our house ,my wife and girls have their rights also.

Only on one occasion we had a worker who's wife and young son came to visit them,and the young son was running all around the yard, my wife politely told the women to not let her son go to different parts of the yard as we had put out poison to control ants and pest, that work beautifully as she soon left and never came back.

Same as we did at my family home in my old Barrio, when my family was growing up!

Cheers:

[robblok]

It all boils down to how respectful they are with your stuff. The problem is that i have seen people use power tools in ways that are not good for the life expectancy of said tools. Now i am really not a good craftsman but i do know how not to misuse tools. Anyway i have no problems helping people out.

A while back one of my neighbors was trying to saw something and it wasn't working with his saw so i came up with an electric saw.. unfortunately before i could find an extension cord he was done.

In Holland people always came to borrow tools from my dad, no problem as long as they took care of the stuff and brought it back in good condition. After a while there were a few people excluded from borrowing because they either did not return it fast or damaged the tools.

The thing is i just don't want that happening to my stuff. Also a lil gratitude would be nice. Often we got some beers or whatever if people used stuff.

Edited August 14, 2010 by robblok

[MaiChai]

I have had alot of problems with this over the years. My attitude to this is that I am a westerner and I am different from them. This may be a bit difficult to take in, but you will never be Thai (neither naturalized or in your thinking or ways).

Thus my stuff is mine and cannot be borrowed unless someone asks and understands that it needs to be returned in the same condition. I look after my stuff and it lasts; I don't need to go out and buy new tools every time I want to do something because they got trashed or someone borrowed it and never returned it. The Thais don't look after anything and thus their stuff gets trashed and needs to be replaced in a short period of time. In fact those extended family Thais never have any money and thus don't own anything anyway (and if they did have money they would squander it on booze/gambling/womenising). I suppose thats why they want to borrow it from you because they don't want to spend the money buying it themselves?

[chickenslegs]

I have had alot of problems with this over the years. My attitude to this is that I am a westerner and I am different from them. This may be a bit difficult to take in, but you will never be Thai (neither naturalized or in your thinking or ways).

Thus my stuff is mine and cannot be borrowed unless someone asks and understands that it needs to be returned in the same condition. I look after my stuff and it lasts; I don't need to go out and buy new tools every time I want to do something because they got trashed or someone borrowed it and never returned it. The Thais don't look after anything and thus their stuff gets trashed and needs to be replaced in a short period of time. In fact those extended family Thais never have any money and thus don't own anything anyway (and if they did have money they would squander it on booze/gambling/womenising). I suppose thats why they want to borrow it from you because they don't want to spend the money buying it themselves?

Every time I see a sentence starting "The Thais..." I know the author is a bigot.

Thais don't take care of anything? &lt;deleted&gt; - Here's just a few things:-

Look at all the beautifully clean and polished cars on the roads here.

Ten - 15 year old motorbikes still running, despite being the sole transport for a family of five.

Spotlessly clean clothes worn by people who don't have two baht to rub together.

I could go on - but I hope you get the point.

[MaiChai]

You are entitled to your opinion, but I got fed up having to buy replacement [put whatever you want here] because borrowed items are never returned or damaged on return. Up to you; its your money. This is the boran mentality; not the modern Thai one, which places some value on items that cost you money. Hence you pointing out cars spotlessly polished; because it cost the person alot of money and he values it. Bet that same Thai would not lend his car to you (or anyone for that matter)?

Regarding the original op: Yes it is rude. We had builders in today and they did not touch anything and were very polite. You might want to say something, preferably politely so as not to anger them.

Edited August 14, 2010 by MaiChai

[chickenslegs]

You are entitled to your opinion, but I got fed up having to buy replacement [put whatever you want here] because borrowed items are never returned or damaged on return. Up to you; its your money. This is the boran mentality; not the modern Thai one, which places some value on items that cost you money. Hence you pointing out cars spotlessly polished; because it cost the person alot of money and he values it. Bet that same Thai would not lend his car to you (or anyone for that matter)?

Regarding the original op: Yes it is rude. We had builders in today and they did not touch anything and were very polite. You might want to say something, preferably politely so as not to anger them.

Maichai - I don't want to make this into some sort of contest, but you would lose that bet.

The first time I went to my wife's village we went by bus/taxi. We were in the area for a few days so one of the family (auntie) insisted on lending us her car - before we got the car her uncle went and filled the tank (worried that I wouldn't be able to do it myself - being a helpless farang .)

All I'm saying is please don't tar everyone with the same brush.

BTW - funny thing is that, wherever we drove the car, all the kids were giving us the 'wai'. Only later I found out that 'auntie' was the head teacher at the local school.

Made me think that back in the UK the kids would have probably been giving the finger. :D

[elkangorito]

My comments in blue.

Every time I see a sentence starting "The Thais..." I know the author is a bigot.

Thais don't take care of anything? &lt;deleted&gt; - Here's just a few things:-

Look at all the beautifully clean and polished cars on the roads here.

Would I be correct in saying that these vehicles belong to the people who keep them so clean & polished? Also, did you not know that cars in Thailand, are 'status symbols'?

Ten - 15 year old motorbikes still running, despite being the sole transport for a family of five.

Since these bikes are the sole transport for the whole family, it seems reasonable that they be kept in a functioning condition.

Spotlessly clean clothes worn by people who don't have two baht to rub together.

I've never known a Thai to want to borrow my clothes. Also, appearances mean everything in Thailand...reality means very little.

I could go on - but I hope you get the point.

This thread is about people 'borrowing' things & either not returning the borrowed items or returning them in an unusable condition.

You may like to remember this thread after you have leant something to somebody & it is either not returned or returned in an unusable state.

If you keep this up, you'll be in the Marky or Chunky league.

[GeorgeO]

Here's a similar unbelievable experience.

When I first arrived here, I bought a new Whirlpool washing machine from Emporium and the guys came around to fit it in, piping and all. I had items standing in a washing basket next to where the machine was to be fitted, and was going to put them into the machine as soon as they left.

They finished, left (with a good tip) and when I went to put the washing into the machine, I found that they had taken a pair of my Calvin Klein underwear and used them to wipe the excess pipe sealant from around the pipes...! I just couldn't believe that anyone would even consider doing something like that.

Needless tto say, I was unable to wash this gunk out of the underwear, so I went back to Emporium with this completely ruined (expensive) item, and demanded that they deal with the culprits and replace the damaged item.

I have to say that Emporium were very good about it, and did indeed replace the item, but I just wonder if anything was ever said to the employees!

[SailingHome]

So, for us new folk to expat living, if we get an apartment in a mostly-Thai neighborhood, we need to keep the doors well locked? I'm all for visting and borrowing, but not while I am not home and the only thing I own is a laptop computer.

[chickenslegs]

My comments in blue.

Every time I see a sentence starting "The Thais..." I know the author is a bigot.

Thais don't take care of anything? &lt;deleted&gt; - Here's just a few things:-

Look at all the beautifully clean and polished cars on the roads here.

Would I be correct in saying that these vehicles belong to the people who keep them so clean & polished? Also, did you not know that cars in Thailand, are 'status symbols'?

Ten - 15 year old motorbikes still running, despite being the sole transport for a family of five.

Since these bikes are the sole transport for the whole family, it seems reasonable that they be kept in a functioning condition.

Spotlessly clean clothes worn by people who don't have two baht to rub together.

I've never known a Thai to want to borrow my clothes. Also, appearances mean everything in Thailand...reality means very little.

I could go on - but I hope you get the point.

This thread is about people 'borrowing' things & either not returning the borrowed items or returning them in an unusable condition.

You may like to remember this thread after you have leant something to somebody & it is either not returned or returned in an unusable state.

If you keep this up, you'll be in the Marky or Chunky league.

Firstly, I think a comment like "The Thais don't take care of anything..." needs to be challenged.

Secondly, my comments about cars, motorbikes and clothes just illustrate that "The Thais can take care of things". But maybe you don't agree.

Thirdly, the thread is not about borrowing and not returning/returning in unusable condition - at least that is not how it started - read the title and 1st post.

Yes, I have gone off topic in reaction to a silly comment (something you would never do?) - so shoot me.

[Milo]

My neighbor borrows my motorbike occasionally, but never puts any gas in the tank, wife's relatives have borrowed the lawn mower and returned it broken with out telling me.

They borrowed shovels to mix cement and let the cement dry on the shovel.

Basically they borrow whatever they want without asking, and do not return or take care of my stuff.

Yes its two way, I can in theory borrow from them, but I do not need a tractor.

As such i dont have a problem with people lending stuff.. as long as they ask and take care of my stuff. But sounds like that is a bit too much to ask.

my favorite line when lending things i.e. tools, trucks etc... is "you break it you buy it" tends to keep things in order

Mine's "Neither borrower nor lender be" and it's surprising just how wide you can Thai-smile while you say 'no'! :jap: If mates want to borrow I find the easy way out by going round and doing the job with them, that way if it gets broken I've only myself to blame...!

Does get my goat when Thais ALWAYS have to sit on your 500k baht bike though? I lose face, no biggie, they don't do it again.

[Baa_Mango]

first off - not normal in Thailand or accepted. Maybe with unskilled and uneducated laborers (which must be supervised, or should be anyways..), but the family thing - definitely not. Just sounds like typical farmer/North East stuff. I central Thailand and especially BKK I would be shocked to see anything like this happening. Up north it would be the norm, but mostly from the foreign man - N-eastern women relationship/household.

[longballlarry]

For the OP. Yes it is rude. A thai guy once came into my house and took a walnut whip. I wouldn't normally mind, but he was a burglar.

[Milo]

first off - not normal in Thailand or accepted. Maybe with unskilled and uneducated laborers (which must be supervised, or should be anyways..), but the family thing - definitely not. Just sounds like typical farmer/North East stuff. I central Thailand and especially BKK I would be shocked to see anything like this happening. Up north it would be the norm, but mostly from the foreign man - N-eastern women relationship/household.

Well ain't you just the snob??

Generalisations laid on with such incisive clarity :lol:

[MAJIC]

Of course it is bad manners worldwide,

they are just taking the pi** and pretending its their famous culture!

[surayu]

I went trough exactly the same (bad) issues, either total strangers or known people would walk in and help theirselfes with whatever they might like, not asking, not announcing theirselfs, not even acknowledging your presence if you are there at the time, with an "hello" or anything, nothing, returning items broken or even unusable (when returning them), no apologises, no mention of the damages, often again not even aknowledging your presence or a simple "thank you" Take note that i am a VERY friendly person that will almost always go that extra mile even for total strangers, but i HATE with passion people just taking advantages because of their own greed, i told everyone that if they would ever need tools or anything else all they would need to do is just to ask, despite doing myself VERY clear i had this guy looking at me like if i had just killed his mother, i was going out for some small grocery shopping, i smiled and salutate him in an appropriated manner but no reply, at my return i discovered the same guy went into my property and destroyed plants, stole fruits and the back windows were having small damages like if someone had just tried to break in...it was him and his friend....now what was the need to act that way, knowing that if he would have asked with a smile he could have just got everything for free?? Another thing i extremely dislike is when i am in the middle of something, i know i have everything i need to complete my tasks and then when i go looking for the stuff i need it is all gone, small things but by doing this they messed up sometime even my whole day because some stuff might not be easily available in this area...there is no way they would understand the troubles they create even by explaining them in very basic terms like if talking to a child, perhaps they just don't care, after a few more intense discussions and having been told they would kill me (long story) i finally managed to not to have anymore vandals/thiefs in my property, lets see how long it will last for...