Where To Meet These "Nice" Thai Girls

[HermosaBeachGuy]

Ok, let's say I "get it". There's only so much one can expect from a "relationship" with a lady one meets in a bar. Having said that, and also with the caveat, that I'm not really looking to get married again at my stage of life (mid 50's), I'd like to meet someone with whom I can enjoy a nice, casual relationship that extends beyond the classic "short time/long time" constraints of a bar girl model. I'm not intending in any way to disparage bar girls, or guys for whom that's enough, I've been quite pleasantly occupied with the ladies I've met that way. I'm just also believing those more experienced Thailand hands who tell me that converting a bar relationship into something more long term is an improbable course of events.

That being said, where else ought one be going to meet nice Thai ladies who might be happy to have a longer term casual relationship? I'm not at all opposed to playing the traditional male role and assuming the bulk (hopefully not all, all the time) of the "dating" costs, but I'm not looking for a dependent either. I'd like to find someone who is working and capable of some measure of life on their own, and can also enjoy being treated well in a dating relationship.

Am I being unrealistic from a farang in Thailand perspective? I'm hoping for at least some constructive suggestions, so once one veteran ex-pat has told me I'm dreaming, it's probably unnecessary for too many more to chime in.

Thanks,

[IanForbes]

1. Learn to read and speak reasonable Thai.

2. Go places where Thai people spend their recreation time. But, understand that most NICE Thais work 9 hour days for 6 days a week.

3. Chances of meeting wealthy Thai women are slim or none for farangs, unless your company has business connections.

4. Women who are willing to meet with farangs, but don't want to go the bar scene, usually use internet dating sites. I have several men friends who converse with all sorts of Thai women over the internet. But, understand that MANY of the gals on internet dating sites were also in the bar trade at some point in the game.

5. Never invest any more in Thailand that you are not prepared to lose and just walk away from.

6. Not all bar girls are bad. Many make good mates, but you MUST understand the situation. Most of the very attractive bar girls are too hardened by the trade to make good partners. But, if you find a new girl just recently starting the trade she might make a good partner. Or, conversely, an older bar girl (over 30+) is often looking for a sugar daddy to settle down with. They will stick with the man as long as he treats her well. Thai women DO understand the results of staying in the bar trade too long. Most of the average looking ones just want to find a man who will treat them well. If they separate later it's usually because the man screws it up by playing around.

Edited October 13, 2010 by IanForbes

[domprz]

My limited experience, even with Thai 'friends' is that Thai-Farang relationships are primarily for the financial benefit of the Thais and the sentimental/sexual benefit of the Farang. To break through would need some genuine communication and chemistry - i.e. love. In that case it would be unlikely that either of you want it to be casual. The chemistry cannot be planned but the communication can be helped by learning the language. This is not advice. It's a theory.

[Bagwain]

I have a few of Thaifriendly.com and they work/employed but still want money for sex.

Being happy with my own company I find easier to just get to know some genuine bar girls and take them for a few days at a time.

It seems to be a bonus being early fifties as I seem to be liked by the girls as well.

Treat them nice and in most cases you get value for your buck.

[spip]

Nah! Any decent Thai lady work 8-10 hrs a day 6 days a week. Bar is a no no to them.

[ljerams]

I reckon the easiest place to meet nice ladies is in the Bar of a quality Hotel. The Waitresses can always speak English and most if not all will have had a good education and frequently a University Degree.

Oh and be careful about introductions. You have to be 100% sure the chemistry exists. No chemistry and that route is just a waste of time.

Edited October 13, 2010 by ljerams

[rametindallas]

Women in Thai culture have a handicap when it comes to dating. Thai men may date someone of any social status but the women are pretty much restricted to their own or a higher class. There is also the Thai man's disdain for any woman with more education or income than he has no matter what her social status.Many Thai women don't respect Thai men because they are philanderers. As a farang, you are at a very high status level (except among resentful Thais) and are too far above shop-girl, etc. status to date them (also unlikely to speak English). I suggest you have some Thai friends introduce you to a nurse or schoolteacher. If you make a connection with one, take your time, Thai women are just as horny as any women in the World and you may, if you are lucky, over the course of months or years, develop a physical relationship with her. I put your chances at 3 in 100 but don't let that stop you as it is fun trying and you may meet some very nice girls along the way. I wish you well.

By the way, the Thai term for 'friend with benefits' is 'Gik'. (geek with shortened vowel sound, neutral tone)

Despite their modest public persona, Thais can be earthy and coarse (in a good way).

[mausplan]

Ian Forbes and Ramindallas have given you good advice. Thais' family units are very strong and they need to be able to explain who the farang is and what he wants.

Teachers ,in fact in any kind of academic field you are likely to have a good chance of finding well educated , independent women who may not want to get tangled up but will travel and do things of common interest. This includes people at language schools , other sorts of classes. Demure looks don't always mean demure personalities privately. If a Thai women is over 30 and unmarried they think thats it so they throw themselves into other pursuits. Be prepared to show patience. I have met many Thai couples that have had long courtships and they claimed were celibate at least on the womens side. The women had adopted the US Army policy , dont ask , dont tell to their menfolk needs, as someone noted , Thais are broad minded about these things.

At the end of the day , it is not much different here that anywhere , common interest ,respect and an understand of the cross cultural factors are whats needed . Join some classes , study groups ,

[HermosaBeachGuy]

Wow,

I must admit I'm grateful and impressed by the quality of the responses. I work in a unique corporate environment (although I came here thinking I'd be an English teacher), and there are certainly a lot of Thai ladies here, but I'm mindful of the liabilities of dating where I work... still, perhaps making friends and then asking about their friends might be an avenue.

Again, thanks to all, and if there any more suggestions, they're all welcome.

[BWPattaya]

Wow,

I must admit I'm grateful and impressed by the quality of the responses. I work in a unique corporate environment (although I came here thinking I'd be an English teacher), and there are certainly a lot of Thai ladies here, but I'm mindful of the liabilities of dating where I work... still, perhaps making friends and then asking about their friends might be an avenue.

Again, thanks to all, and if there any more suggestions, they're all welcome.

It is good to be mindful of getting into a relationship with work colleagues. Be patient, your colleagues will already have someone in mind for you. Today I took my car for a regular service to my usuak main dealer. The person I dealt with knows me well and asked if I wanted to get to know her friend. They know that if a farang has been here for a long time and doesn't need to work they would be able to support them. It isn't the first time I have been approached by a friend of someone looking for a partner.

However, I wonder why anyone would want to start a lasting relationship with you when, apparently, that isn't what you really want. You seem to want a casual relationship with someone who pays their way. Please remember that the better bred ladies here will want to take a chaperone on the first few occasions when you meet. The idea of a casual relationship implies some degree of sexual activity and this may not be what she would necessarily want.

On another note, I know many relationships which have stood the test of time where the girl was previously a bargirl.

Perhaps the best advice I can give is just to say, go out and enjoy yourself, eating out, shopping etc etc and someone will come along quite unexpectedly. If you are looking for a certain type of person too hard then you will miss the wood for the tress.

I may be repeating other people's advice but, learn a reasonable amount of Thai language, that shows a degree of intelligence and adaptability and you will also learn something about the cultures (especially if you go to a scholl where they use the school books from year one).

Finally, don't be misled into thinking that just because someone works in a hotel/shop/school etc they don't work in the evenings somewhere.

Edited October 13, 2010 by BWPattaya

[britmaveric]

Nice/Bad ladies everywhere - just ask someone out on a date and then go from there. Dating in thailand isn't that hard.

[richard_smith237]

Women in Thai culture have a handicap when it comes to dating. Thai men may date someone of any social status but the women are pretty much restricted to their own or a higher class. There is also the Thai man's disdain for any woman with more education or income than he has no matter what her social status.Many Thai women don't respect Thai men because they are philanderers. As a farang, you are at a very high status level (except among resentful Thais) and are too far above shop-girl, etc. status to date them (also unlikely to speak English). I suggest you have some Thai friends introduce you to a nurse or schoolteacher. If you make a connection with one, take your time, Thai women are just as horny as any women in the World and you may, if you are lucky, over the course of months or years, develop a physical relationship with her. I put your chances at 3 in 100 but don't let that stop you as it is fun trying and you may meet some very nice girls along the way. I wish you well.

By the way, the Thai term for 'friend with benefits' is 'Gik'. (geek with shortened vowel sound, neutral tone)

Despite their modest public persona, Thais can be earthy and coarse (in a good way).

Best advice on this thread so far....

And IMO dating in the office is a no-no, like anywhere things can get messy. However, meeting and dating the friends of the office colleagues you have become friends with is fine and probably the best opportunity to get an introduction into the 'Real Thailand' where those who are nice to you are nice because they are and not because they want something from you.

IMO the best way to meet respectable and educated Thai ladies is by being respectable and educated yourself and have the respect and friendship with respectable and educated Thai's.... You will at some point meet some of their female friends, friends of friends etc... it may seem a slow start but there really is a bottomless pit of great and respectable ladies out there who are prepared to be open minded providing you show that you are worth it.

While I'm a long way off 50 years of age I believe those chanced upon experiences of the dating scene before I married would hold true for those my senior.

[thrilled]

Udon Thani has A service where farangs and thai ladies meet and get aquainted.If ya want to know more send me A message and i'll give ya the details.

[matchless51]

My advice is this, if you had a nice friend that you where spending quality time with,ask yourself what would you be doing, would it be a nice walk around Ayudya on a Sunday arvo. or a wander through a garden and a cuppa at a nice art gallery cafe ?, chances are she's allready there waiting for you, get a move on, dont forget to polish your shoes.

[rodcourt49]

Wow,

I must admit I'm grateful and impressed by the quality of the responses. I work in a unique corporate environment (although I came here thinking I'd be an English teacher), and there are certainly a lot of Thai ladies here, but I'm mindful of the liabilities of dating where I work... still, perhaps making friends and then asking about their friends might be an avenue.

Again, thanks to all, and if there any more suggestions, they're all welcome.

It is good to be mindful of getting into a relationship with work colleagues. Be patient, your colleagues will already have someone in mind for you. Today I took my car for a regular service to my usuak main dealer. The person I dealt with knows me well and asked if I wanted to get to know her friend. They know that if a farang has been here for a long time and doesn't need to work they would be able to support them. It isn't the first time I have been approached by a friend of someone looking for a partner.

However, I wonder why anyone would want to start a lasting relationship with you when, apparently, that isn't what you really want. You seem to want a casual relationship with someone who pays their way. Please remember that the better bred ladies here will want to take a chaperone on the first few occasions when you meet. The idea of a casual relationship implies some degree of sexual activity and this may not be what she would necessarily want.

On another note, I know many relationships which have stood the test of time where the girl was previously a bargirl.

Perhaps the best advice I can give is just to say, go out and enjoy yourself, eating out, shopping etc etc and someone will come along quite unexpectedly. If you are looking for a certain type of person too hard then you will miss the wood for the tress.

I may be repeating other people's advice but, learn a reasonable amount of Thai language, that shows a degree of intelligence and adaptability and you will also learn something about the cultures (especially if you go to a scholl where they use the school books from year one).

Finally, don't be misled into thinking that just because someone works in a hotel/shop/school etc they don't work in the evenings somewhere.

..IMO if you look too hard you will never find..when you have someone you will always meet another..try to find the middle of the road..have many friends and take your time to you decide on a more permanent basis (no matter who they are or what their circumstances are).

Thai women have it hands down because they're not at all judgemental..so why should we be any different!

[Heng]

Get a local MBA, say at Sasin.

[HermosaBeachGuy]

Thanks again to all. I think it's fair to say "looking too hard" doesn't apply to me at all. I've only been in Bangkok for about 6 weeks this time, and apart from a foray or two to a bar, I've not "looked" at all. I've been sorting out where to live and focusing on my job.

I am taking Thai classes two evenings a week after work, and may begin some private lessons as well.

On the whole "casual/sexual/long term" question, my only reservation at this time is that I'm not interested in getting married anytime in the reasonable future, if at all. Been there done that. I've also lived alone for the past 9 years, and I'm not sure how much I'd have to compromise to have someone actually living with me, but I'm open minded about that, all else being equal. Again, I'm not opposed to paying for the dating process, or the normal sort of expenses, I'm just probably not looking for someone who's looking to be supported full time. I've raise 3 children and had wives before, and I just feel like I've supported enough people this lifetime. Having said that, I've got money put by, and my 3 day a week job pays more than I need for my living expenses.

Anyway, I appreciate the feedback, especially those not preaching at me.

Wow,

I must admit I'm grateful and impressed by the quality of the responses. I work in a unique corporate environment (although I came here thinking I'd be an English teacher), and there are certainly a lot of Thai ladies here, but I'm mindful of the liabilities of dating where I work... still, perhaps making friends and then asking about their friends might be an avenue.

Again, thanks to all, and if there any more suggestions, they're all welcome.

It is good to be mindful of getting into a relationship with work colleagues. Be patient, your colleagues will already have someone in mind for you. Today I took my car for a regular service to my usuak main dealer. The person I dealt with knows me well and asked if I wanted to get to know her friend. They know that if a farang has been here for a long time and doesn't need to work they would be able to support them. It isn't the first time I have been approached by a friend of someone looking for a partner.

However, I wonder why anyone would want to start a lasting relationship with you when, apparently, that isn't what you really want. You seem to want a casual relationship with someone who pays their way. Please remember that the better bred ladies here will want to take a chaperone on the first few occasions when you meet. The idea of a casual relationship implies some degree of sexual activity and this may not be what she would necessarily want.

On another note, I know many relationships which have stood the test of time where the girl was previously a bargirl.

Perhaps the best advice I can give is just to say, go out and enjoy yourself, eating out, shopping etc etc and someone will come along quite unexpectedly. If you are looking for a certain type of person too hard then you will miss the wood for the tress.

I may be repeating other people's advice but, learn a reasonable amount of Thai language, that shows a degree of intelligence and adaptability and you will also learn something about the cultures (especially if you go to a scholl where they use the school books from year one).

Finally, don't be misled into thinking that just because someone works in a hotel/shop/school etc they don't work in the evenings somewhere.

..IMO if you look too hard you will never find..when you have someone you will always meet another..try to find the middle of the road..have many friends and take your time to you decide on a more permanent basis (no matter who they are or what their circumstances are).

Thai women have it hands down because they're not at all judgemental..so why should we be any different!

[sarahsbloke]

If you date a Thai girl 3 times, she will be thinking of marriage.

Bar/teacher/shop/good/bad ....... their background doesn't matter, they all think alike.

Pretty much every girl you date will have sex on the first date, sex is not a problem over here.

In the western world, sex is the last thing you do in a relationship, in Thailand it is the first.

[bangkokcitylimits]

Nobody is talking here about the 'OT', the 'OT' is a Thai massagecenter with a 120 girls of which many young hilltribes especially my favorite Lisu. They are sitting in a kind of aquarium as numbered fish. Had quite some experiences there. Few stayed with me, making daytrips, staying at their remote mountain village etc. Always fun with Lisu's. Anybody else here experiences with the 'OT' ? Thai massage is 300b per 2 hours, oil massage 600 and they sell beer as well. Very addictive place !

Road to the trainstation, opposite the Shell pump+10 metres soi left side, at the end of that soi, large parkingspace in front, second floor.

[xylophone]

Wow,

I must admit I'm grateful and impressed by the quality of the responses. I work in a unique corporate environment (although I came here thinking I'd be an English teacher), and there are certainly a lot of Thai ladies here, but I'm mindful of the liabilities of dating where I work... still, perhaps making friends and then asking about their friends might be an avenue.

Again, thanks to all, and if there any more suggestions, they're all welcome.

I am also very impressed with the replies from IanForbes,domprz,rametindallas and mausplan.

I met my Thai Lady through an English friend who had a Thai wife, and who knew this young lady. She is an accountant by profession and, like you I was looking for a relationship where you could share some time together, the occasional meal and night out, without too many ties. So I took my time with "courtship" or the equivalent thereof, and it was a good time for learning and having fun, as she spoke little English and I spoke little Thai, so wherever we went we would take the English/Thai dictionary with us and using a mixture of verbs and charades managed to get our points across.

Be careful how you proceed because you may well end up living together and maybe that is not what you want, however amongst other things, many Thai girls are looking for security and a future (as well as the respect, love and caring) so gentle pressure may be applied to form a live in relationship. Good luck with your quest.

[teddy_bare]

If you date a Thai girl 3 times, she will be thinking of marriage.

Bar/teacher/shop/good/bad ....... their background doesn't matter, they all think alike.

Pretty much every girl you date will have sex on the first date, sex is not a problem over here.

In the western world, sex is the last thing you do in a relationship, in Thailand it is the first.

[/quote

Hmmmmm, I was going comment on the nice advice being offered, until i read this. Your experience seems to differ from mine. I think many girls from around the world think about marriage before, during and after dates. Some may not. I have found girls will have sex here if they feel comfortable with you and they can see some sort of gain, whether that be long-term relationship, status, etc (i dont necessarily mean that in a negative way). Although all the respectable girls I know don't have sex on the first date. When they did decide the time was right, I found some of them to be virgins, some even 28 year old virgins. You seem luckier than most or you reside under bridges

[ljerams]

I agree with the last Poster. We/re talking about really nice girls of course. :jap:

[Chunky1]

Get a time machine. Come back in 1980 when you were 25 years old because honestly, what kind of "good girl" is interested in a man her father's age? What a proud day that will be. Mom and Dad meet Bill he starts collecting Social Security next month. Were the "good girls" in your home country scrounging through retirement homes for sugar daddies? Why would anything change here? Go and have fun with the girls but stop trying to delude your aging melon.

Edited October 14, 2010 by Chunky1

[CMgossip]

Get a job, or al least something respectable to do with your free time. Dress well. Go shopping a lot (some great girls working in shops and pharmacies - all willing to do an honest days work) and get to know the girls through regular pleasant contact.

It is possible to meet "nice" girls, but strangely they won't be found by sitting at a bar downtown. Here you will only find moaning old men bemoaning the lack of "nice" girls who want to spend their days caring for some old fart, and their afternoons and evenings entertaining his drinking buddies.

A strange world indeed.

[Daewoo]

I didn't get the impression that the OP wanted to meet the love of his life, a rich, beautiful, 21 year old virgin, who will give him sex in positions not even thought possible in the Khama Sutra, without any commitment...

I too have known many girls, Issan girls, 28 years old and never kissed a guy... in my experience, sex isn't necessarily the first thing in a relationship, especially for tradional girls from the country...

Back on topic... mate, how good are you at talking??? I don't reckon it has to be in Thai, 'cause any educated Thai woman is going to speak enough English for you both to work out if you are interested...

To date a 'good' as in 'not for sale' Thai woman requires only two things, you to talk to her, and she to be available TO YOU...

A mate of mine manages to pick up a girl 3 times a day... some are young, some are almost as old as him, some are uneducated waitresses, some are (dangerously) wives or Mia-Noi of upper class Thais...

He looks at a woman, if she smiles back, he goes and talks to her... all day, every day... and from lots of them he gets a phone number...

Now, he isn't good looking, he is 60, but he has a nice personality, and the ability to talk to anyone without fear...

Daewoo

Edited October 15, 2010 by Daewoo

[IanForbes]

I too have known many girls, Issan girls, 28 years old and never kissed a guy... in my experience, sex isn't necessarily the first thing in a relationship, especially for tradional girls from the country...

Back on topic... mate, how good are you at talking??? I don't reckon it has to be in Thai, 'cause any educated Thai woman is going to speak enough English for you both to work out if you are interested...

To date a 'good' as in 'not for sale' Thai woman requires only two things, you to talk to her, and she to be available TO YOU...

A mate of mine manages to pick up a girl 3 times a day... some are young, some are almost as old as him, some are uneducated waitresses, some are (dangerously) wives or Mia-Noi of upper class Thais...

He looks at a woman, if she smiles back, he goes and talks to her... all day, every day... and from lots of them he gets a phone number...

Now, he isn't good looking, he is 60, but he has a nice personality, and the ability to talk to anyone without fear...

Daewoo

That is pretty much it in a nutshell, and it works everywhere in any country. But, it takes self confidence to do that. It's amazing what just being friendly will do for you.

I smile and talk to anyone and everyone, but don't do it in a way that makes a women think I'm trying to pick her up. If I get any sort of positive reaction I make a friendly comment or two and leave after finding out where she works. Then, I'll come back later to see if she is still around. I take it slow and leave it up to the woman to show if there are any sparks. No sense in beating a dead horse if she isn't interested. A woman knows within the first 5 minutes of talking if she is interested in a man or not. And, there is nothing wrong with having ladies who are only platonic friends. I've got lots of those. The women will let you know if they want to take it to a different level.

[mark45y]

Get a time machine. Come back in 1980 when you were 25 years old because honestly, what kind of "good girl" is interested in a man her father's age? What a proud day that will be. Mom and Dad meet Bill he starts collecting Social Security next month. Were the "good girls" in your home country scrounging through retirement homes for sugar daddies? Why would anything change here? Go and have fun with the girls but stop trying to delude your aging melon.

Here we go again chunky, can’t you give slogging old guys a rest for a while.

I wasn’t going to post but now I will to rebut your argument which is of course erroneous.

I have met a number of hi so or so so women but found there is no one best way so I will describe a few.

I know a Thai lady who owns a chain of small schools that tutor students and business people she also is an important executive in a government school system. I tutored doctors for her, to start with. I met one lady doctor and we went out for lunch after about three months of tutoring.

After knowing the lady who owns the school for two years she decided I was a nice guy and should be married so she fixed me up with a series of 4 lunch dates (she was the chaperon) with teachers average age 40+.

She also has a very important sister. High up in the government who is an unmarried 40 year old. Attractive actually. But a very forceful, powerful woman who treats men like leftover food unless they are higher up than her.

I met a principal of a government grade school who had 4 unmarried teachers that he introduced me to and we had frequent lunch dates (ages 25 to 36).

I used to frequent an internet shop owned by a lady who was also VP of an IT company. One day she was writing a business proposal and asked me to check her grammar. From that developed a relationship. She was only 28 and very attractive along with being rich. We went out a couple of times but I had the suspicion she was a lesbian so I stopped trying.

I have known a Thai family for over 30 years and they have introduced me to a number of women, all way too young but they were well intentioned. They figured the young women would be there to take care of me when I got old. Most of the girls were still in school and I would have provided the funds for them to finish their education in exchange for marriage (ages 19 to 22).

The moral to my story is in most cases you meet someone or a family in business or as friends or some other interest and they introduce you to women.

Working in Thailand is an imperative for this approach.

A special note to chunky. This is not England. I know you realize Thailand is a different culture and in a different place but in spite of your beliefs Thai women are not the same as English women. They don’t look the same. They don’t eat the same food. They don’t have the same morals. They don’t have the same aspirations and dreams. Thai women are the same as English women only in your head.

[JRinger]

If you date a Thai girl 3 times, she will be thinking of marriage.

Bar/teacher/shop/good/bad ....... their background doesn't matter, they all think alike.

Pretty much every girl you date will have sex on the first date, sex is not a problem over here.

In the western world, sex is the last thing you do in a relationship, in Thailand it is the first.

[/quote

You don't actually believe any of this crap do you? Did you come up with this stuff all by yourself?

Edited October 17, 2010 by JRinger

[JimmyTheMook]

I used to frequent an internet shop owned by a lady who was also VP of an IT company. One day she was writing a business proposal and asked me to check her grammar. From that developed a relationship. She was only 28 and very attractive along with being rich. We went out a couple of times but I had the suspicion she was a lesbian so I stopped trying.

A special note to chunky. This is not England. I know you realize Thailand is a different culture and in a different place but in spite of your beliefs Thai women are not the same as English women. They don’t look the same. They don’t eat the same food. They don’t have the same morals. They don’t have the same aspirations and dreams. Thai women are the same as English women only in your head.

Actually most women are the same , regardless of Thai or Western.

Humans all have the same certain emotions and some cultural differences, but we are all pretty much programmed the same way.

[backtomyroots]

So you are in your fifties and want a casual relationmship with a much younger respectable Thai woman

Good news you are going to pay the dating cost --well isnt she the lucky one

the only one that willgo for that will be an ace scammer who will screw you left right and centre,and youll deserve all thats coming