Money changers in Pattaya

[PattayaOneTeam]

Above Bawd in Pattaya

Of Offal and Condoms

There are some excellent threads on Pattaya’s web boards, and I will constantly be going back to the best of them to search for rare flashes of Shavian wit, genius, wisdom or otherwise.

In these straightened times, I have been scouring for money-saving tips, which led me to two topics, “Top Cheap Charlie Tips” and “The things people do in Thailand to save money” on Thai Visa.The former frequently descends into a general (and unfair) slagging off Soi Buakhao,which, at least on the web boards, is seen as a soap-dodging, benefit-claimant,no-money, wife beater-wearing paradise.

Ignoring the irony that some people are swapping tips to save money so they can better-afford to buy as much booze as possible, these threads turned out to be hilarious, sometimes deliberately,sometimes accidentally.

Some tips seem to literally scrape the bottom of the dustbin.

One bargain-basement poster, G54, suggested saving plastic, glass and cardboard from your household rubbish, then selling them to the person who comes scavenging through your bins at night.

At least that was better than Loz’s suggestion that people should drink their own pee.

I preferred instead the suggestion by Hanno to use the free water dispensers found in banks.(presumably filling an eight-litre bottle each day - with free water not urine).

Continuing the lavatorial theme, I will definitely give a miss to Loz’s cheap charlie suggestions of using both sides of the toilet paper, or collecting, drying outand reusing used toilet paper found in the bins next to many public toilets;until I start living on Soi Buakhao.

Curiously nobody mentioned using their hands, Thai style,which would save on bog paper completely, but increase soap usage – I hope.

I worry that Pattaya Parent’s suggestion to ‘only take a dump when you're out at a bar’ could lead to a ‘run’ on lavatories in cheap charlie bars around the town.

Another one from Lozmight work - or get you beaten or killed. Try it and let me know:“Sit down at a restaurant table where there is a party of 4 or more adult Thais eating,and help yourself to their food. Smile and, as they talk, nod your head and frequently use the phrase,"uuhh" with varied tones to indicate agreement, amusement,seriousness or otherwise. Then leave before the bill comes. But be sure to saythe food was arroy maak!”

A similar bright idea from Naam, who suggested “train your dog to steal food from your neighbours' dogs, and kill a cat once in a while”.

One poster, Syd Barrett, said he saves 1,000 baht a month by buying wholesale and drinking 22cases of large bottles of beer, or 266 bottles a month. Later the same poster advocated the use of offal, as cheap and nutritious food:

“Everything can be found here, tripe, intestines, pig’s feet, sweetbreads, pig's snouts, kidney, liver, brains, everything. I bought a delicious pigs cheek for 20 baht that was good for three hearty meals.”

Soundman argued that the Thai labelling on this offal probably read: "Pet Food only - Not fit for human consumption”. Another, Basjke, thought it might read: “Isaan food”.

Still, offal is probably easier to swallow than this next suggestion from Jingthing:

“Condoms are expensive. Remove before climax. Then you can reuse!”

Only made worse byBasil B’s suggestion to instead use Cling Film:“it's cheaper”. But double-wrap it, presumably.

Sillyman99was definitely not living up to his board name with his tactical suggestion,which I’m sure many have employed before: “ If you're heading out to thebars, knock out 2 or 3 w*nks first. The girls won't look so good and you'll not bother to take one, hence you save money”.

And finally, in a brilliant post to bring the discussion of offal and condoms to a sweaty climax, Pattaya parent offered the helpful observation that: “the first use of a condom was a sheep’s bladder and was invented by a Welshman. But it was an Englishman who had the idea to take the bladder out of the sheep first.”

All comments or Web Board tip offs gratefully received at [email protected]

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-- Pattaya One 2010-10-18

[bdenner]

I guess that's one way of filling the empty spaces in your rag. Steal the content from here. Wondering how the ThaiVisa members quoted feel about it?.

[Jingthing]

Wondering how the ThaiVisa members quoted feel about it?.

[PattayaOneTeam]

Wondering how the ThaiVisa members quoted feel about it?.

Cheers JT.

We are reliably informed your name also crops up in the next one - on an entirely different topic!

[onlooker]

I cant find the section in the Forum rules where it says that users need to be aware that Thaivsa will allow their posts to be printed in Pattaya One without their permission. Can someone point me towards it?

[PattayaOneTeam]

I cant find the section in the Forum rules where it says that users need to be aware that Thaivsa will allow their posts to be printed in Pattaya One without their permission. Can someone point me towards it?

Excellent. It's not proscribed!

Thanks for bothering to do that research for us, although as John Thomas isn't a Thai Visa member I'm not sure he'd care what the rules said!

[Daewoo]

Wondering how the ThaiVisa members quoted feel about it?.

Since everyone posts hoping that others will read their opinion and marvel at their wisdom, I would think they would be estatic to reach a wider audience...

Look out for members carrying around a printed copy of Pattaya One hoping thier infamy will improve their social interactions... (and a run on cling flim sales)

Daewoo

Edited October 18, 2010 by Daewoo