How Do I Get My Thai Girlfriend Interested In Artistic/Intellectual Things?

[lannarebirth]

Is the OP not concerned that should his girlfriend become more cultured and discerning, that she might just dump him and see if she could do better?

[kpmsprtd]

OP: See the movie Educating Rita--alone (not with your girlfriend).

[stoneyboy]

While i would never wish to change any persons personal tastes in music art or culture,girlfriend/friend or wife alike, it is possible if you enforce it enough,my poor GF never had a clue who Bob Dylan was until she met me,she does now and rather enjoys some of his material,although my continued playing of his music day and night for the last 3 years has had a profound effect on the whole family not just her. .

[sbk]

stoneyboy, have they all shot themselves in the head by now?

Bob Dylan is ok but it sounds like you were trying to push them right round the bend.

As for exposing people to arts and music, yes of course, but they are either going to like it or not. As they say, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.

[lannarebirth]

While i would never wish to change any persons personal tastes in music art or culture,girlfriend/friend or wife alike, it is possible if you enforce it enough,my poor GF never had a clue who Bob Dylan was until she met me,she does now and rather enjoys some of his material,although my continued playing of his music day and night for the last 3 years has had a profound effect on the whole family not just her. .

You too? Now when my wife gets mad at me, which is thankfully rare, she throws in a "and I hate Bob Dylan too" kicker at the end.

I love our Dylan convesations. "Idiot Wind, what that mean"? "Nothing dear".

Edited December 31, 2010 by lannarebirth

[Peppy]

2 words: Anais Nin

First decent suggestion in the thread.

Are her books available in Thai?

But if Amelie didn't work, maybe Anais Nin won't either.

A quick Google search reveals that there's at least one translation of Anais Nin's (อนาอิส นิน) writings available in Thai. It's called "Alina", was published in 1994 and seems to be out of print, but the following sites still have copies for sale for between 30-45 baht:

http://www.kositt.com/product.detail_4521_th_1925946

http://witdaeng.tarad.com/product-th-604212-3216187-%E0%B8%AD%E0%B8%A5%E0%B8%B4%E0%B8%99%E0%B8%B2.html

http://www.toulo.com/product/ProductDetail.asp?ProductID=4973

[Senia]

Mostly I agree with Miss Muppet,

But have you ever thought of easing her into it, start with Thai classics, you make the first change. You make an attempt to learn Thai history and read some famous Thai literature and rent some classic Thai movies. Discuss the history of Thailand with her, she may surprise you .

You may also try some visual arts like an art gallery or something like that. Mind you English is a second language for her.

Asians are generally not interested in anything other than popular culture and/or their own ethic or national history. ( Not racist ..... also an asian here ) .

tell me how it works out, at least yours reads, mine makes me translate for him.As for movies, only action flicks and porn( lmao pref. Asian porn lmao, like it matters ), his fav. movie ........... Pirates cos it's both action and porn !!!!!!

FYI: I loved Amelie

[hasher69]

The first question was :-

"Is it possible to get Thai girls interested in things with more depth?

Are there any who have these interests on their own? Where do you meet them? "

I think most have decided that you want to change your gf's mindset!!

But I thought you just meant it on more general terms!!,

I have found that most Thai ladies I have met have really been primarily intersested in

tHAI tv WITH ALL THE ASSOCIATED NOISES that go with it Bang Boom whistle, which to me would be OK for 5-6 year olds in the west!!

When it comes to something with more depth they are just totally bored!

and talk about poetry it flies straight over their heads.

However this really is only related to their education, so their minds aree just a bit narrow. My current gf does try to understand , she has a University degree, but only has a limited comprehension of it all.

Lets not get into Shakespeare!!!!

.........

[canuckamuck]

How can I get my wife interested in Hockey and or astrophysics

[bina]

tHAI tv WITH ALL THE ASSOCIATED NOISES that go with it Bang Boom whistle

as my parents often point out, i am a simpleton. i like that stuff. i like midnless action pirate movies, etc. and just to point out, i majored in humanities,anthropology and can discuss medicine with uni professors, dog breeding with dog owners, microbes with researchers and almost anything else as long as its not sports or politics. hubby doesnt discuss anything with anyone. he plays music, cards, loves to cook, watching israeli cooking shows and reading thai sites, chats/drinks with his thai foreign labour cronies. we watch action movies together, but when there are things i want to see that he doesnt, then he can retreat to his lair (our bedroom) and watch there, or thru the net. we watch thai movies together, btw i like many of them, and find them done very well, u just have to know about thai culture and history a bit to understand (and the language of course) the sublties.

point being, i was raised a socialist intellectual hippie alternative sort, hubby has no education whatsoever, agricultural, and i woudnt change him. he can change himself if he wants. once a month we do a day trip to somewhere in the area historical/nature (no art, i dont like either). i find info in movie form, he watches, then takes what he wants from it. we go with friends and food so the exposure to archeology/history/'culture' is painless adn fun. he is very anti anything here but has finally decided he has to learn hebrew so have we have a cute ex soldier girl/teacher on the kibbutz who now tutours once a week for a small sum, and finally he is learning, and having fun (we use our photo albums, whatever, as forms of conversation starters). with his learning the language, he pays more attention to listening to local music on the radio, which is tremendously different from thai and or western pop/rock, newscasts, and general converstation among us , the non thais. but it is all his decsion. its a natural process.

bina

israel

[OxfordWill]

I have had the same concern over and over again.. I found one trick; photoshop. If you can teach her a brief thing on how to touch up her own photographs, it is very likely she will make that a habit. Once she has her foot in the door with photoshop you can expose her to some other sites which go into more depth and show what else you can do, and this can lead to exploring other software (in my ex gf's case she eventually made her own website).

However in general, if she isn't doing it for herself it can be a huge waste of time- I have come to accept this now and adjusted my choices accordingly as for me, that lack of interest was a killer.

There are plenty of thai women who are creative and artistic, and perhaps a 'few' (statistically speaking) who are intellectual (don't forget we ethnocentrically coin and define this word ourselves). So much is culture. Finding an actual "painter" is hard, but finding girls who are into the "artistic" fashion niche is easy.

Edited January 26, 2011 by OxfordWill

[wolf5370]

Some very aggressive replies here. From my understanding the Op is simply trying to widen his GF interests and is not trying to forcefully ameliorate her.

I like OxfordWill's suggestion. I also think its the same with teaching kids in that the more fun it seems the less it feels like teaching, and the more they learn. People rarely choose a hobby that seems purely accademical and dry, they choose something they have an interest in. The problem is that Thai kids are exposed to few interests outside of traditional things such as veg carving, origami and making kratongs. None of which is a great group, or even dual, activity!

She, therefore, needs to be introduced to other things in an entertaining way - sticking a book under her nose or a documentary on Picasso just isn't going to do it - too much like school. How about getting together with a few friends and go to an art festival, or even gallery, but make it a bit of a day - picnic, maybe a competition (i.e. what colour is the puppy on the woman's lap in the painting called "Old bird with mut"?...etc) everyone gets a sheet, most correct answers wins a bottle of plonk (probably shared at the picnic anyway).

Books are doubly hard here - few Thais seem to read after school (I have seen this blamed on the fact that Thai is not a very poetic language and it makes for a less than imaginative read - especially translation of classics and English language books) - other than small books by comedic monks or comics. I would leave that alone until she has chosen and started to develop her own interest - then she may pick up a book about it with interest!

Also, I suggest you include less accademic (read: dry) ideas/interests such as OxfordWill's PhotoShop idea, photography, drawing, and so on.

Good luck

[stonechild]

Maybe she finds it boring but dont give up hope, I overheard my husband telling his friend that you can pick up the habits of your wife so maybe this will apply also for you

[Tarric]

I'll be honest I didnt read the majority of replies, but the fact is you can just carefully suggest things you can do together that you consider to be more artistic and intellectual than her usual interests. Start small though otherwise she will just think your trying to change her and she will no doubt get really pissed.

I got my girlfriend into science fiction, I started small with shows that had sci-fi themes and before long she loved watching the shows and even reading the books just as much as I did.

If however she has no interest in this and its a deal breaker for you if she cant intereact with you on your intellectual level then maybe you need to find a girlfriend that is more on your level of intellect.

[Sadiegirl1975]

We aren't going to start slagging off all Thai women in this forum either, as it will not be tolerated, cheers.

If it were allowed I don't think you would have enough space on your server!!!

[Sadiegirl1975]

If you look at the topics on this section of TV you will find most of the subjects are about preening, make up, spray tanning etc...

Not many intellectual discussions or topics.

nuff said!!!

[RickThai]

BES;

Enroll her in a liberal arts college. I bet she dumps you before the second semester.

Do you realize how prejudice and bigoted you sound?

Good luck.

RickThai

[sbk]

If you look at the topics on this section of TV you will find most of the subjects are about preening, make up, spray tanning etc...

Not many intellectual discussions or topics.

nuff said!!!

So start some.

[cmsally]

Talking about novels is a bit language specific.

Why don't you encourage her with music, art. A lot of Thais are really into photography and that can be taken to a fairly advanced level.

Don't forget a lot of people if not exposed to things intellectual, think its a bit out of their league. So maybe introduce her to ordinary people who find these things interesting. Both Thai and Non Thai.

Even cookery can become a bit intellectual if you are really into all the ingredients, methods and nutrition. So that's another starter.

[Lite Beer]

A nonsense post has been deleted.

[StreetCowboy]

Dumb yourself down

It's not always the other person's fault

SC

EDIT: where's the apostropher when you need it?

Edited August 20, 2011 by StreetCowboy

[bdw]

Amelie sucked, good for her to sleep through it.

This thread just got me thinking, that the guys I know who get along best with their TGF or Thai Wives are the lowest common denominator types who cannot tell the difference between Where & Were, Their/There/They're, or To & Too.

[GrahamF]

Amelie sucked, good for her to sleep through it.

This thread just got me thinking, that the guys I know who get along best with their TGF or Thai Wives are the lowest common denominator types who cannot tell the difference between Where & Were, Their/There/They're, or To & Too.

Sooooo, you think that where & were are homophones? Where does that rank you against those "lowest common denominator types?"

Sorry to be off topic.

[Sheryl]

You can't change another person's personality, and you are unlikely to be able to much change another person's interests.

There is as much individual variation among Thai women as there is among women anywhere. the particular woman you have chosen does not have these interests. Presumably she does have other strong points which you like. What you need to decide is whether or not these are sufficient to make the relationship worthwhile.

Whomever you choose as a mate, of whatever nationality, there will always be some needs they don't fill and some interests they don't share. This is where friendships help round things out.

Only you can decide if, all things weighed in balance, this woman is right for you. IMO, you'd do better accepting her as she is and then deciding based on that than you will by an effort to substantially change her, which will likely just cause bad feelings and frustration on both sides.

[trevorg]

Agree with most of the above posts.

Whilst this is no help to the OP (and I apologise), my Thai wife had no interest in football or Formula 1 before I met her. She now loves both, can name most of the Spurs and England squads, recognised the new teams in the premier league as soon as they played this season and can name most of the drivers and their teams in F1! So whilst not particularly artistic or intellectual, new shared interests can be 'developed'. And she loves Vin Diesel and action movies! As mentioned above the 'leading a horse to water' saying is spot on! Good luck.

[onionluke]

Have you considered the scenario where after you intellectualise your gf she becomes bored with you and then says you are shallow and manipulative .

Just head off to the local bookshop/library together .

[ebcal]

My opinion is that some posters jumped a bit far in concluding he wants to force her or make her something she is not. I don't think that is the OP's intention. While they are correct that you cant force someone to like something or be interested in something, but it doesn't have to be forced. I think many of us have found an interest in something later in life that we did not have an interest in before, either through some new exposure or life experience, or through personal growth. Everyone of us has developed interests in things we did not have before. I think the OP is only looking for suggestions to expose or encourage an interest in other areas, not force.

My suggestions would be to expose her to some things and see what might strike a chord. It may be more difficult to expose things out of the blue. Maybe one way would be to find out some things she is interested in and then try to link that interest to some other areas.

Yes, maybe an interest in erotica could lead to reading Anais Nin. Or an interest in children or nature or animals could lead to volunteering to help some non-profit cause or an interest in photography, or an interest in music could lead to taking music lessons, which could lead to better appreciation of the musical arts. Or an interest in some aspect of Thai culture can lead to learning more about Thai history or more about Thai culture. Maybe travel can get her more interested in different cultures or photography, that might lead to appreciating arts or architecture or sociological differences, maybe an interest in eating can lead to taking cooking classes and getting an interest in world cuisines, etc. Maybe these might work, maybe they wont, but they may be worth a try. And yes, you cant force change, as many have stated, all you can do is expose and see if it sparks any interest. And it could very well be that something may not spark now, but later in life, it does. We all change over time.

Also, some immediately questioned why are the OP is with this girl and suggested he was with the wrong girl. Maybe correct, but a bit too presumptuous. People are attracted to others for many different reasons. And maybe we don't alwayschoose our partners for all the best reasons, but there are many reasons. And sometimes we may not always think about intellectual compatibility, although we probably should. We all have to decide if we don't get the mental stimulation enough through our partners, if the other reasons we love our partners is enough to fulfill us and if we can live with the shortcomings. In this case, if we could get the mental stimulation through other means, like reading or discussion with others or attending events, etc. And maybe this means we need to find a new partner or maybe it means we don't.

And of course, intellectual compatibility does not insure a happy relationship either. There are the many other things we need or want from a relationship that are also important, security, companionship, having fun, emotional support, intimacy (not just sex), romance, and many other areas that we need from our partners and why we are attracted to our partners that need to be considered.

Ultimately, we have to choose if the shortcomings our partner has are enough to make us consider another partner or if they are something we can live with. It is too easy to make a broad statement to question why the OP chose his GF and he should be with someone else. There were many other areas that attracted him to his GF and that is clearly why he is with her. Whether they are the right reasons is only for him to decide. And whether the reasons are enough to continue the relationship is only for him to decide.

Just my 2 cents.

[StreetCowboy]

...Just my 2 cents.

I couldn't even be bothered reading all the detail, so I shouldn't quote it.

Skimming through, though, I was struck by the suggestion that if the OP took a more artistic / intellectual interest in things that the girlfriend has a superficial and mundane secular interest in, then perhaps she might be interested to participate.

I suppose it also depends on the intensity of topic chosen, and the difficulties involved; while having some success in the differences between league, union and sevens, I have abandoned hope of explaining or developing an interest in cricket, since it does not have the superficial excitement to maintain interest for the first few seconds.

SC