A Foolproof Way To Never Collide With A Thai

[Tod Daniels]

I just finished 2 weeks of constant testing. I even went so far as enlisting two foreign friends to try it out too. I wanted to see if it was just me or it works for everyone.

I’ve been here going on 6 years and I certainly can't be the only one amazed at the near total lack of spatial awareness (where people are in relation to anything else in the known universe) . They amble down the sidewalk to the left to the right, almost as if on purpose. When approaching a Thai who is comin' towards you, invariably if you give them the slightest eye contact, we both end up 'veering' the same way, leading to a collision or a stand off where both of us hafta stop.

Honestly, I stumbled on this technique quite by accident but so far it's worked flawlessly, and my foreign testers concurred with its efficacy.

As you're approaching a Thai who is comin' towards you DON'T look at them EVER (as in NO eye contact at all)!!

Instead look at the ground, either to their right or left. In fact look slightly past them but still at the ground to one side or the other. So far I’ve found the approaching person will veer or move over the opposite way from your stare. It’s almost a psychic ability that they have! Look past ‘em at the ground on their right, they'll veer left, look past ‘em at the ground on their left, they’ll veer right. Yet all this is done without ever looking at the person approaching. Strange I know. ..

I haven't collided with a Thai since I've started running the 'clinical trials'. Although clearly more testing is in order before I apply for a patent or at least a trademark.

Just thought I'd share this meaningless bit of wisdom with everyone.

Try it and report back.

[MSingh]

The tragic thing is that if you applied this seemingly correct proceedure to driving, their mentality would be the same there too..

For the record, i have never stepped foot on a Country where such a high % of the local people are so incredibly oblivious to their surroundings in the same situation that the OP mentions.

& i'm on 49 Countries now..

[canuckamuck]

Yep, same as driving. Consider it like the automated characters in video game, they have a program running and they get around just fine unless you interact with them.

[JurgenG]

Walking in a crowd in Bangkok is a dream compared to Hong Kong, trust me !

But regarding your technique, I can confirm, I use the same and it's really efficient.

[GarryP]

I often end up walking on the road facing the oncoming traffic. Its easier than playing dodgems on the footpath. And if there are stalls on the side of the footpath things are even worse as when viewing the goods on sale they often stop and stand in the middle of the path instead right next to the stall. So you have both ambulatory and stationary objects to avoid. They should invent a pinball machine based on the footpaths of Sukhumvit and others.

Edited March 22, 2011 by GarryP

[Lancelot]

I had one very unusual "contact" experience here in Thailand. I.m crossing the street on a relatively quiet soi and I notice a middle age lady crossing to the the side that I am departing from. I notice that she is heading straight for me, so I shift a little to the right-but she shifts an equal distance to her left, so we are on a collision course again. I think "what ever" and keep walking. Just before she runs in to me I stop and she stops and hangs her head like she is embarrased. She doesn't move so after 20 seconds I side step her and walk on.

No, it wasn't some type of pick up or offer of company and I really think she was a chinese tourist by the way she dressed. To her it must have seemed perfectly normal to have to "walk through" me to get to the other side of the street.

I get along but the longer I'm here the less I understand the place...

[surayu]

just start sneezing loudly(with no hands on front of your mouth) and you will get a 3 way paths empty, doesn't matter how crowded the place is

[MSingh]

just start sneezing loudly(with no hands on front of your mouth) and you will get a 3 way paths empty, doesn't matter how crowded the place is

Very good shout...

[PattayaParent]

I need a foolproof method of passing them from behind.

Usually a Thai will be veering to the left as I approach from behind so I move to the right to pass but as I do so they move right to block my move.

Like you say they seem to have a psychic ability to know where you are going to go.

A method that I've had some success with is to 'sell them a dummy' to use a footballing term, where you feign to move right and as soon as they veer right you jump left and pass.

I was thinking of trying to refine it to be more like a Ronaldo 'step over' move but haven't had the patience lately and am more likely to just shove them out the way.

So maybe we could combine our techniques in that patent application?

[Thaddeus]

just start sneezing loudly(with no hands on front of your mouth) and you will get a 3 way paths empty, doesn't matter how crowded the place is

If you can do a reasonable impression of a tourettes sufferer, that works too.

"Arse"

[MSingh]

I need a foolproof method of passing them from behind.

Usually a Thai will be veering to the left as I approach from behind so I move to the right to pass but as I do so they move right to block my move.

Like you say they seem to have a psychic ability to know where you are going to go.

A method that I've had some success with is to 'sell them a dummy' to use a footballing term, where you feign to move right and as soon as they veer right you jump left and pass.

I was thinking of trying to refine it to be more like a Ronaldo 'step over' move but haven't had the patience lately and am more likely to just shove them out the way.

So maybe we could combine our techniques in that patent application?

I reckon you're better off going down the Jamie Carragher route than the Ronaldo one as you will more than likely just end up on yoru arse looking like a Plum with bad hair fo you did..

[PattayaParent]

I often end up walking on the road facing the oncoming traffic. Its easier than playing dodgems on the footpath. And if there are stalls on the side of the footpath things are even worse as when viewing the goods on sale they often stop and stand in the middle of the path instead right next to the stall. So you have both ambulatory and stationary objects to avoid. They should invent a pinball machine based on the footpaths of Sukhumvit and others.

Agree.

You can always spot someone who's lived here a long time, either in Pattaya or Bangkok. They're the ones walking down the road instead of on the pavement.

It's been good training for going to Viet Nam where the pavements are for parking motocy and cars and pedestrians have to walk in the road.

[IanForbes]

I found the best way of not bumping into people was to open my eyes. Of course there are SOME people I really WOULD like to bump into. But, I can only play the blind man for so long before those busty gals catch onto my scheme.

[PattayaParent]

I need a foolproof method of passing them from behind.

Usually a Thai will be veering to the left as I approach from behind so I move to the right to pass but as I do so they move right to block my move.

Like you say they seem to have a psychic ability to know where you are going to go.

A method that I've had some success with is to 'sell them a dummy' to use a footballing term, where you feign to move right and as soon as they veer right you jump left and pass.

I was thinking of trying to refine it to be more like a Ronaldo 'step over' move but haven't had the patience lately and am more likely to just shove them out the way.

So maybe we could combine our techniques in that patent application?

I reckon you're better off going down the Jamie Carragher route than the Ronaldo one as you will more than likely just end up on yoru arse looking like a Plum with bad hair fo you did..

Kicking them in the kneecaps is a bit extreme, a forceful 'what me ref????' shove is more than sufficient.

[NanLaew]

The OP's method works well for me; I have been using this 'you are all invisible to me' approach for quite a while. However, in places like Pattaya or the wherever there's a higher incidence of furreners mixed in with the locals, it is a total disaster.

Talking of poor spatial awareness, the average KL commuter on their <deleted>' smartphone while they amble to/from work has got to be the most infuriating. They NEVER look up when heading into the flow but somehow detect near collisions and just stop walking but still don't look up. They start walking/texting when they 'sense' you have moved around them. When they are going with the flow, they are very akin to the Thai shopper where they wander aimlessly all over the shop, forcing people to swerve around them.

[Nawtier]

I usually leave my fly unzipped and never have an issue...

[cardholder]

just start sneezing loudly(with no hands on front of your mouth) and you will get a 3 way paths empty, doesn't matter how crowded the place is

If you can do a reasonable impression of a tourettes sufferer, that works too.

.... and I am sure you can, Thad !

[cardholder]

Nice try tod-daniels, but I can see this thread for exactly what it is - a "trick question" - there is infact NO foolproof way to overcome a Thais lack of spacial awareness.

[Tonto21]

Shopping Malls, and the Thai ‘rolling road block’ 2 or more Thai’s walking abreast at a snail’s pace, even when one see’s or knows your trying to get past, they just give a blank look, and carry-on as normal. Some stores, you just can’t get past. No worries, when not in a rush. But the lack of awareness is gob-smacking sometimes.

[thanew]

This is not confined to just Thailand, it happens all of the time to me here in Macau and in Hong Kong.

[tigerfish]

the Arab family family entourage usually found on the streets of lower Sukumvit and consisting of at least half a dozen members, totally unbeatable !

[Thaddeus]

just start sneezing loudly(with no hands on front of your mouth) and you will get a 3 way paths empty, doesn't matter how crowded the place is

If you can do a reasonable impression of a tourettes sufferer, that works too.

.... and I am sure you can, Thad !

I've taken lessons from the master, Jacko. Seen him bump into many things, but never seen anyone bump into him.

[jimbeam1]

I often end up walking on the road facing the oncoming traffic. Its easier than playing dodgems on the footpath. And if there are stalls on the side of the footpath things are even worse as when viewing the goods on sale they often stop and stand in the middle of the path instead right next to the stall. So you have both ambulatory and stationary objects to avoid. They should invent a pinball machine based on the footpaths of Sukhumvit and others.

I'm with you on that one.

jb1

[SICA]

Try jogging around the streets! Its unbelievable how many Thai's stop in your path to look at you with that 'huh' blank stare on their on their face. I have asked the missus several times to get me a running vest with "Don't look at me just get out of my way" written in Thai on the front. And "See, that was easy, wasn't it" written on the back!

I have now taken, possibly foolishly, to jogging on the road, in to oncoming traffic as i really do believe it's safer!!

[welsh1]

Same thing happened to me ,on a recent shopping trip up in chaing mai.

Me and the other half walking through a crowded market ,me being the only one who seemed to make any effort in man overing my body left to right to avoid people coming towards me .

While the thais just walking straight ahead with not a care in the world.

By this time i had a enough could not take any more ,so on approaching this thai guy with a few of is mates. i just dropped my left shoulder a smidge and made sure it connected with is shoulder.

Then i replied with a very quick..Khaw thode ( Im sorry) he said mai phen rai.

Then i turn around and watched him walk away while he was rubbing is shoulder which was jep mak mak

[Willeyeam]

The tragic thing is that if you applied this seemingly correct proceedure to driving, their mentality would be the same there too..

For the record, i have never stepped foot on a Country where such a high % of the local people are so incredibly oblivious to their surroundings in the same situation that the OP mentions.

& i'm on 49 Countries now..

Try China in 1997!

[fresnoboy]

Try jogging around the streets! Its unbelievable how many Thai's stop in your path to look at you with that 'huh' blank stare on their on their face. I have asked the missus several times to get me a running vest with "Don't look at me just get out of my way" written in Thai on the front. And "See, that was easy, wasn't it" written on the back!

I have now taken, possibly foolishly, to jogging on the road, in to oncoming traffic as i really do believe it's safer!!

I'm going to try that idea with the shirt; I like it !

BTW, I hope you don't mind but, I'm going to hijack your signature. I like that too

[Willeyeam]

I took my wife (Thai ) to Shanghai at the end of the 90's, and she described them as "Meng John" - in fact a fat old Chinese HiSo spat on my back in a lift in a Japanese department store, Yaohan....jesus they were frightful back then!

[Chonburiram]

My trick is, doing it like in Warp speeds last ( now not visible ) avatar...

[Richb2004v2]

Try jogging around the streets! Its unbelievable how many Thai's stop in your path to look at you with that 'huh' blank stare on their on their face. I have asked the missus several times to get me a running vest with "Don't look at me just get out of my way" written in Thai on the front. And "See, that was easy, wasn't it" written on the back!

I have now taken, possibly foolishly, to jogging on the road, in to oncoming traffic as i really do believe it's safer!!

I do the same. It's impossible to run on their excuses for pavements anyway, as they are so broken and have so many obstructions, as well as the height of them as you constantly have to go up and down.

I've actually never bumped into a Thai walking. My problem is the state of the pavements. I generally just walk on the road at all times.