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Posted

Frankly, I am too embarrassed to say exactly what is was, but I will say it was related to a newbie misunderstanding on my part about the fare structure at a less then reputable establishment of massage.

So you thought the final bill was all inclusive of a happy ending? :D

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Posted

I'd lived here about a month and my landlady at the time seemed to think I was a wealthy high roller. She was introducing me everyday to girls from "good families" and so forth. Anyway, one day I'm coming out of the shower with a too small towel wrapped around my waist. Standing outside the hong nam is my landlady and Chao Duangduen, the princess of Chiang Mai. If I wai her the towel falls off. If i don't I'm an asshol_e. So I make an apologetic one handed wai on the way to the bedrrom to get dressed. Looked an idiot I'm sure. Don't Thais ever knock?

Posted

I'd lived here about a month and my landlady at the time seemed to think I was a wealthy high roller. She was introducing me everyday to girls from "good families" and so forth. Anyway, one day I'm coming out of the shower with a too small towel wrapped around my waist. Standing outside the hong nam is my landlady and Chao Duangduen, the princess of Chiang Mai. If I wai her the towel falls off. If i don't I'm an asshol_e. So I make an apologetic one handed wai on the way to the bedrrom to get dressed. Looked an idiot I'm sure. Don't Thais ever knock?

:lol: :lol: :lol:

I can just picture it. I"m sure the young lady was more embarrassed than you. :D

Posted

I'd lived here about a month and my landlady at the time seemed to think I was a wealthy high roller. She was introducing me everyday to girls from "good families" and so forth. Anyway, one day I'm coming out of the shower with a too small towel wrapped around my waist. Standing outside the hong nam is my landlady and Chao Duangduen, the princess of Chiang Mai. If I wai her the towel falls off. If i don't I'm an asshol_e. So I make an apologetic one handed wai on the way to the bedrrom to get dressed. Looked an idiot I'm sure. Don't Thais ever knock?

:lol: :lol: :lol:

I can just picture it. I"m sure the young lady was more embarrassed than you. :D

Chao Duangduen is in her 80's.

Posted

Continuously mis-pronounced a young lady's name - kept on calling her the English equivalent of 'pubic hair' all evening. :blink: No-one pulled me aside to correct me

Posted

I'd lived here about a month and my landlady at the time seemed to think I was a wealthy high roller. She was introducing me everyday to girls from "good families" and so forth. Anyway, one day I'm coming out of the shower with a too small towel wrapped around my waist. Standing outside the hong nam is my landlady and Chao Duangduen, the princess of Chiang Mai. If I wai her the towel falls off. If i don't I'm an asshol_e. So I make an apologetic one handed wai on the way to the bedrrom to get dressed. Looked an idiot I'm sure. Don't Thais ever knock?

:lol: :lol: :lol:

I can just picture it. I"m sure the young lady was more embarrassed than you. :D

not sure which young lady you are talking about, but Chao Duangduen Na Chaiang Mai is over 80. she may seem young to you Ian, but not to me.

Posted

certainly not the most embarrassing but got the vowel lengths wrong and told a 90 year old woman that in Canada we had a lot off "hee maa" in the winters.

Posted

plating out my ex girlfreind when her mother walked into the bedroom :unsure::o

Did mother join you? :cheesy:

jb1

No, she hit me round the head with a 12 inch black rubber dildo which was laying nearby.

Posted

certainly not the most embarrassing but got the vowel lengths wrong and told a 90 year old woman that in Canada we had a lot off "hee maa" in the winters.

Plenty of these have happened to me, most memorable was asking for a bag of "Nam Khon" (ARSE WATER) instead of "Nam Khorn" (ICE) in a packed market :blink:

Posted

Years ago as I was cycling around Chiang Mai I grabbed the back of a baht bus for a tow.......all very amusing and entertaining for the passengers.........especially when the driver put his foot down............

More so when I released my grip and slewed of the road........ into a fruit and vegetable stall..........:)

Those were the days when the stall holder was genuinely more interested in my welfare than any damage to the produce.....we all had a good laugh, and I got up and was soon on my way.......no issues...

:lol::lol::lol:

Posted

I'd lived here about a month and my landlady at the time seemed to think I was a wealthy high roller. She was introducing me everyday to girls from "good families" and so forth. Anyway, one day I'm coming out of the shower with a too small towel wrapped around my waist. Standing outside the hong nam is my landlady and Chao Duangduen, the princess of Chiang Mai. If I wai her the towel falls off. If i don't I'm an asshol_e. So I make an apologetic one handed wai on the way to the bedrrom to get dressed. Looked an idiot I'm sure. Don't Thais ever knock?

:lol: :lol: :lol:

I can just picture it. I"m sure the young lady was more embarrassed than you. :D

not sure which young lady you are talking about, but Chao Duangduen Na Chaiang Mai is over 80. she may seem young to you Ian, but not to me.

To Ian she must be jailbait. :D

Posted

certainly not the most embarrassing but got the vowel lengths wrong and told a 90 year old woman that in Canada we had a lot off "hee maa" in the winters.

Plenty of these have happened to me, most memorable was asking for a bag of "Nam Khon" (ARSE WATER) instead of "Nam Khorn" (ICE) in a packed market :blink:

Or Nam Khaeng even. :D

Posted

certainly not the most embarrassing but got the vowel lengths wrong and told a 90 year old woman that in Canada we had a lot off "hee maa" in the winters.

Plenty of these have happened to me, most memorable was asking for a bag of "Nam Khon" (ARSE WATER) instead of "Nam Khorn" (ICE) in a packed market :blink:

Or Nam Khaeng even. :D

Naam Khaeng, nung khorn = Ice, one cube...

Posted

An oldie, but a goodie. Tossing and catching a 10 baht coin at work, it fell to the floor and started to roll away. I leapt across the room and stomped on it in front of 15 of my Thai staff.

Posted

Another one springs to mind.

As a single man in my much younger days living on Bangkok and carrying a basket of clothing to my apartment block's laundry. The woman who ran it had a rather cute daughter of about 19 who sometimes helped her out with the ironing etc and was always worth a discrete ogle.

Result! She was there. Giving her what I hoped was my best " no I'm not a potential stalker and present no danger to you at all " smile I was rewarded with a shy beam.

My charming grin quickly disappearing as I handed her my washing basket and, glancing down, noticing in horror a pair of my underpants poking out from under the rest of the clothes with a skidmark a top fuel dragster would have been proud of in plain view.

Posted

certainly not the most embarrassing but got the vowel lengths wrong and told a 90 year old woman that in Canada we had a lot off "hee maa" in the winters.

Plenty of these have happened to me, most memorable was asking for a bag of "Nam Khon" (ARSE WATER) instead of "Nam Khorn" (ICE) in a packed market :blink:

Or Nam Khaeng even. :D

Naam Khaeng, nung khorn = Ice, one cube...

Laos not Thai

Posted

I am not easily get embarrased, but here is one that would have been if I wasn't loaded so I didn't care and actually had a lot of fun.

If was some years back in Pattaya. I was in one bar I was frequent at that time. I was buying booze for all the girls working there (don't remember if there was a reason, but I did it quite often), and having good time myself... I don't remember how the evening ended up, I don't remember how I got back to my room, but I do remember pole dancing and stripping down in that bar, I do remember so bar girls joining me (they were loaded as well) and I do remember some tourist girls sitting in my and next bar joining in as well... :D I would be embarrased to do this if I wasn't drunk, but as I said, I had really good time so no regret.

Posted

^^ Guess your username should have been a clue. :lol:

Many people asked what my nick name means, they seems to think it's a form of saying "Shut up" :rolleyes: , but it's not, it's not even an English word and translated it, it means "Screw". ;)

Posted

Another one springs to mind.

As a single man in my much younger days living on Bangkok and carrying a basket of clothing to my apartment block's laundry. The woman who ran it had a rather cute daughter of about 19 who sometimes helped her out with the ironing etc and was always worth a discrete ogle.

Result! She was there. Giving her what I hoped was my best " no I'm not a potential stalker and present no danger to you at all " smile I was rewarded with a shy beam.

My charming grin quickly disappearing as I handed her my washing basket and, glancing down, noticing in horror a pair of my underpants poking out from under the rest of the clothes with a skidmark a top fuel dragster would have been proud of in plain view.

Browned off eh? Gave you the arse.

Posted

First time I came to Thailand, in 2000. Having a late evening massage, and getting to the 'interesting 10 minutes'. Excitement of the moment, leading to my right hand seeking out the softness of her left breast ... ... that had been amputated :o .

Perhaps we should have talked about her mastectomy, first :unsure:

DIG

Posted

An oldie, but a goodie. Tossing and catching a 10 baht coin at work, it fell to the floor and started to roll away. I leapt across the room and stomped on it in front of 15 of my Thai staff.

:o Isn't that a hanging offence in Thailand?

Posted

One incident, to be honest I'm thick skinned, so I thought it was funny, more than embarrassing; I saw this bar girl, a few years back, nice girl, (our second date, of 4) I was visiting my mate and wife, (they live in Pattaya) whose parents were over from the UK, to help and celebrate the birth of their second child. My mate says to me; "we are going for a meal tonight, come along….see you at 8. "OK" say me. So I tell this girl to put something on tonight as we will be going out to eat. I ask her to meet me atthe pre-arranged place. Anyway we are all stood waiting for her to turn up ……Me,my mate, his wife, there 3 year old son, baby and his mom and dad, I just met,for the first time.

So, we are standing around and my mate says, "10 O'clock….10 O'clock, check it out!! I look, and it's my date! Well she is dressed to kill,Ok, fact, she was hot! Tall, pretty, very elegant, legs that don't give-up andan ass like an 8 year old school boy….in a see-though dress, my mate's old mannear had a heart attack on the spot when she walked over to us. I think all in all things went very well, apart from my mate's dad kept spilling his beer,when he tried to take a drink, I think he had Thai fever! My mate and I always laugh about this night.

Would have spilt my beer too, and worse. :lol:

Posted

Another one springs to mind.

As a single man in my much younger days living on Bangkok and carrying a basket of clothing to my apartment block's laundry. The woman who ran it had a rather cute daughter of about 19 who sometimes helped her out with the ironing etc and was always worth a discrete ogle.

Result! She was there. Giving her what I hoped was my best " no I'm not a potential stalker and present no danger to you at all " smile I was rewarded with a shy beam.

My charming grin quickly disappearing as I handed her my washing basket and, glancing down, noticing in horror a pair of my underpants poking out from under the rest of the clothes with a skidmark a top fuel dragster would have been proud of in plain view.

ooooooooooooooooh, all the locals will know about that one. Watch for the grins in town. :lol:

Posted

Another one springs to mind.

As a single man in my much younger days living on Bangkok and carrying a basket of clothing to my apartment block's laundry. The woman who ran it had a rather cute daughter of about 19 who sometimes helped her out with the ironing etc and was always worth a discrete ogle.

Result! She was there. Giving her what I hoped was my best " no I'm not a potential stalker and present no danger to you at all " smile I was rewarded with a shy beam.

My charming grin quickly disappearing as I handed her my washing basket and, glancing down, noticing in horror a pair of my underpants poking out from under the rest of the clothes with a skidmark a top fuel dragster would have been proud of in plain view.

ooooooooooooooooh, all the locals will know about that one. Watch for the grins in town. :lol:

:D I got the fuc_k out of Dodge years ago!

Posted

I'd lived here about a month and my landlady at the time seemed to think I was a wealthy high roller. She was introducing me everyday to girls from "good families" and so forth. Anyway, one day I'm coming out of the shower with a too small towel wrapped around my waist. Standing outside the hong nam is my landlady and Chao Duangduen, the princess of Chiang Mai. If I wai her the towel falls off. If i don't I'm an asshol_e. So I make an apologetic one handed wai on the way to the bedrrom to get dressed. Looked an idiot I'm sure. Don't Thais ever knock?

:lol: :lol: :lol:

I can just picture it. I"m sure the young lady was more embarrassed than you. :D

Chao Duangduen is in her 80's.

Correct. 70's then.

Posted

An oldie, but a goodie. Tossing and catching a 10 baht coin at work, it fell to the floor and started to roll away. I leapt across the room and stomped on it in front of 15 of my Thai staff.

This one cracked me up. Brilliant.:lol:

Posted

Tall, pretty, very elegant, legs that don't give-up andan ass like an 8 year old school boy….in a see-though dress,

Surely you are not serious?:blink:

RogueExpat…….Just for you, Ok…….And I am serious, I think I know which part of what I wrote, you are referring to…… Sorry quick question for you……<deleted> is your beef? Read the post, the fact that my dates ass, was, small and pert…….I thinkI made my point as to how small and pert it was with the reference I made. Ifyou have a conflict with what I said, (the reference)….Maybe you're the one with issues. I was using the 'school boy as a reference of scale! IMHO the ones that bitches the most has more invested in the subject!

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