Ah, so you have been to Tasmania 

cv

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None of those types in Canada then ?

The Top 15 Redneck Porn Movies

15) I Know You Done Your Sister Last Summer

14) Turn Her and Hooch

13) Urban Cow, Boy!

12) Debbie Does Dullards

11) I Am Curious, Ol' Yeller

10) 9 1/2 Teeth

9) The Silence of the Sheep (God Willing)

8) Nasty NASCAR Nimphama--, uh, Nymfama--, uh, Crazy Nekkid Gals!

7) Deep Goat

6) Crouchin' Brother, His'n Sister

5) Auntie Get Your Gums

4) The Girl Who Could Not Run Faster Than Her Brothers

3) Behind the Green Teeth

2) Bob and Carol and Bessie and Babe

1) Three Men and a Beast

Redneck Hot Tub

Redneck Hot Tub

   

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Was the water that dirty before they got into it ?

The Redneck Way

The Italian says, "When I've a finished a makina da love withah

my wife, I go down and gently tickle the back of her knees, she

floats 6 inches abova da bed in ecstasy."

The Frenchman replies. "Zat is nussing, when Ah've finished

making ze love with ze wife, Ah kiss all ze way down her body,

and zen Ah lick za soles of her feet wiz mah tongue, and she

floats 12 inches above ze bed in pure ecstasy."

The Redneck says, "That ain't nothing. When I've finished

porkin the ole lady, I git out of bed, walk over to the winder

and wipe my weener on the curtains. She hits the freakin'

ceiling."

Redneck Hurricane Survival Kit

Redneck Hurricane Survival Kit:

Mustard.............................................check

Cheetos..............................................check

Toilet Paper........................................check

Bud Light...........................................check

Keystone Ice........................................check

Budweiser..........................................check

Red Dog.............................................check

Misc. other bottles of alcohol......................check

Sheet of plywood or door on which to float your

booze (and chick)...................................check

(To insure that all segments of society receive Fair and Equal Opportunity Disaster-Preparedness Training, this checklist also appears in an easy-to-follow photographic format for the benefit of the less-than-literate):

Redneck Hurricane Survival Kit

Redneck Hurricane Survival Kit:

Mustard.............................................check

Cheetos..............................................check

Toilet Paper........................................check

Bud Light...........................................check

Keystone Ice........................................check

Budweiser..........................................check

Red Dog.............................................check

Misc. other bottles of alcohol......................check

Sheet of plywood or door on which to float your

booze (and chick)...................................check

(To insure that all segments of society receive Fair and Equal Opportunity Disaster-Preparedness Training, this checklist also appears in an easy-to-follow photographic format for the benefit of the less-than-literate):

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A very practical survival kit

Ah, so you have been to Tasmania 

cv

None of those types in Canada then ?

cv

Ah, so you have been to Tasmania 

cv

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

None of those types in Canada then ?

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cv

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Same as Tasmania I guess. A young virgin is a girl that can run faster than her father and brothers

Same as Tasmania I guess. A young virgin is a girl that can run faster than her father and brothers

And in Newfoundland a young boy who's still a virgin is smarter than the priest.

cv

Redneck/Homeless BBQ Grill

I know where there's lots of them

Redneck Logic

Two rednecks, Bubba and Cooter, decided that they weren't going

anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead. Bubba goes

in first, and the professor advises him to take math, history, and logic.

"What's logic?" asked Bubba.

The professor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a

weed-eater?"

"I sure do," answered the redneck.

"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard." replied the

professor.

The professor continued: "Logic will also tell me that since you have

a yard, you also have a house."

Impressed, the redneck shouted, "GAWL-LEEE!!"

"And since you own a house and a house is tough to take care of by

yourself, logic dictates that you have a wife."

"Sally Mae! This is incredible!" (Bubba is obviously catching on.)

"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are

heterosexual rather than homosexual" said the professor.

"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever

heard of. I can't wait to take this here logic class."

Bubba, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the

hallway where Cooter is still waiting.

"So what classes are ya takin?" he asks.

"Math, history, and logic," replies Bubba.

"What in tarnation is logic?"

"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed-eater?"

"No."

"You're a queer, ain't ya?"

Redneck Etiquette

1. Never take a beer to a job interview.

2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.

3. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.

4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.

5. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still

considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.

DINING OUT

1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour

slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the vine.

2. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers

covering the label.

ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME

1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a

taxidermist.

2. Do not allow the dog to eat from the table...no matter how good his

manners are.

PERSONAL HYGIENE

1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be

done in private using one's OWN truck keys.

2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days.

However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money.

3. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to

detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods.

DATING (Outside the Family)

1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.

2. Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go

out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago."

3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say

10:00 PM; others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it is

the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.

THEATER ETIQUETTE

1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately

after the movie has ended.

2. Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they

can't hear you.

WEDDINGS

1. Livestock is usually a poor choice for a wedding gift.

2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.

3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund

and clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance.

4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special

occasion.

DRIVING ETIQUETTE

1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; even if the gun is loaded

and the deer is in sight.

2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires

always has the right of way.

3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.

4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to

ask her to bring back beer too.

5. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.

Redneck Etiquette

1. Never take a beer to a job interview.

2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.

3. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.

4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.

5. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still

considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.

DINING OUT

1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour

slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the vine.

2. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers

covering the label.

ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME

1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a

taxidermist.

2. Do not allow the dog to eat from the table...no matter how good his

manners are.

PERSONAL HYGIENE

1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be

done in private using one's OWN truck keys.

2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days.

However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money.

3. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to

detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods.

DATING (Outside the Family)

1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.

2. Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go

out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago."

3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say

10:00 PM; others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it is

the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.

THEATER ETIQUETTE

1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately

after the movie has ended.

2. Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they

can't hear you.

WEDDINGS

1. Livestock is usually a poor choice for a wedding gift.

2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.

3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund

and clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance.

4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special

occasion.

DRIVING ETIQUETTE

1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; even if the gun is loaded

and the deer is in sight.

2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires

always has the right of way.

3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.

4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to

ask her to bring back beer too.

5. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.

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Redneck Palm Pilot

Redneck Operating System

Redneck Christmas Lights

Home Schooling

The trailer park is just off grandma’s right shoulder!

Problem At The Wedding

Redneck Convertible

Home Schooling

Looks like Redneck Sex Education class !

(Obviously they hadn't had the condom class yet)

You Might Be A Redneck

Boon Mee,

May I ask a stupid European Blinkered question -

DOES REDNECK COUNTRY INCLUDE TENNESSEE?

Boon Mee,

May I ask a stupid European Blinkered question -

DOES REDNECK COUNTRY INCLUDE TENNESSEE?

It includes pretty much every state that fought for the Confederates in the American Civil War (and Texas).

And every state where you find people driving pick-up trucks with gun-racks in the rear windown.

And every place that plays way too much Country and/or Western music

Oh dear...

Oh dear...

Don't fret Patsy, there are Rednecks in New York City too.

It's an expression that defines a 'mindset' more than anything else.

The last time i looked his neck was quite pale!!!

Joking - I know what rednecks are. I have seen all those pics before and the one that kills me is the wedding one!!

There seem to be plenty of rednecks in other countries as well.

Check out the movie "Straw Dogs" or the yobs who roam Bedlam in packs for a few examples.

There seem to be plenty of rednecks in other countries as well.

Check out the movie "Straw Dogs" or the yobs who roam Bedlam in packs for a few examples.

Nah...they consider themselves to be Gypsies - the Euroweenie equivalent of Redneck.