Sad Dinner-Table Stories From Strangers

[Darrel]

These stories involving deaths are indeed very sad.

[F1fanatic]

I had forgotten this story until this thread brought it back to me.

A few years back i met a guy, about 30, who lived on Nana and had a decent job on an expat package.

Every day, returning home from work, he passed a bar where a slightly cross-eyed but very beautiful woman would simply smile at him as he passed. One evening while in his cups he stopped in to talk to her, and as it often happens, ended up bringing her home.

According to him, she was a very sweet thing and as time passed they began to spend more time together, though she never stayed for long.

As the relationship progressed, she became more and more lethargic and eventually lost her job in the bar for not showing up all that regularly. Despite the fact that they had always gotten on very well and she never really asked anything of him, they lost contact until one night after about 3 months she appeared at his door with a bag asking to spend the night. He decided to let her stay just the one night though he claimed did have many reservations. He insisted she stay on the sofa, which she happily did.

Of course, she ended up staying longer than the single day, and a couple weeks of weeks passed while she remained on the sofa. When he was home, she remained unobtrusive and frequently cleaned and did his laundry, though she seemed to be slipping deeper and deeper into what he suspected was depression.

One day he returned home to find her asleep on the sofa again, and having had more than enough decided that was it, she had to go. Angrily he pulled the blanket off of her and went to shake her awake only to find her unresponsive. shaking her again, he discovered that she was dead.

Scared out of his mind he called the police and after a few hours they appeared, collected the body and took him into custody.

After a few hours he was released. In her bags were medical records from a nearby government hospital. It seems, he said, that she had been diagnosed with an inoperable tumour and had been receiving meds for over a year.

It turns out she had had an aneurysm or something of the sort in her sleep and that was the end of her. He had unwittingly provided her a safe place to die.

the police were very apologetic as they released him, though at first they thought he had something to do with her death.

he was quite drunk when he told me the story, and i never had any reason to disbelieve him. In fact, it stuck with me for some time.

What a horrible and very sad story. I've never heard anything like that before.

I sympathise as something similar happened to me.

To cut a long story short, I'd helped a homeless Western guy until he got a job.

A few months later he turned up at my door at night (first time I'd heard from him since he found a job) - and I was not sympathetic. I told him to come back the next day.

The next morning he hanged himself ....

Edited September 10, 2011 by F1fanatic

[IanForbes]

A story that has haunted me for many years is one concerning a poor Thai man that had been looking after a charming young boy for some years. Having become destitute, and seeing no future for himself, decided to commit suicide, so dressed in his best clothes and hung himself. The thing that really affects me though, is that he also dressed the young boy in his best clothes, and hung him before himself.

I still get emotional years later to think that such awful despair can exist.

Off topic but back home years ago I read a report in the paper about this little girl. She was 12 years old. She wore glasses and was a bit chubby so consequently she was bullied at school ( we know how evil kids can be ) and had no friends. A teacher said she just used to walk around alone a break times. She came home one day, told her mum she was going to her room and hung herself. She left a note saying she was sorry but she was so lonely and wished she had some pals. They had a picture of her in the paper in her school uniform posing for her first day school photo.. That picture will be in my memory forever.

For some reason all the terrible things that happen in the world like war, famine etc are just news items at 10pm to me but her story stuck with me. I'm a hulking great bloke (and if you saw me walking behind you at night on the street you might speed up despite me being completely harmless) but whenever I think of her I well up. I'm doing it now typing this.

How sad. What a waste of a life.

I think I told you in a PM about a friend's child that committed suicide and it is one of the many reasons why I hate bullies with such a passion. I can understand adults who made bad choices in life and no longer had the will to live, committing suicide, but it really bothers me when it happens to children.

[F1fanatic]

A story that has haunted me for many years is one concerning a poor Thai man that had been looking after a charming young boy for some years. Having become destitute, and seeing no future for himself, decided to commit suicide, so dressed in his best clothes and hung himself. The thing that really affects me though, is that he also dressed the young boy in his best clothes, and hung him before himself.

I still get emotional years later to think that such awful despair can exist.

Off topic but back home years ago I read a report in the paper about this little girl. She was 12 years old. She wore glasses and was a bit chubby so consequently she was bullied at school ( we know how evil kids can be ) and had no friends. A teacher said she just used to walk around alone a break times. She came home one day, told her mum she was going to her room and hung herself. She left a note saying she was sorry but she was so lonely and wished she had some pals. They had a picture of her in the paper in her school uniform posing for her first day school photo.. That picture will be in my memory forever.

For some reason all the terrible things that happen in the world like war, famine etc are just news items at 10pm to me but her story stuck with me. I'm a hulking great bloke (and if you saw me walking behind you at night on the street you might speed up despite me being completely harmless) but whenever I think of her I well up. I'm doing it now typing this.

How sad. What a waste of a life.

I think I told you in a PM about a friend's child that committed suicide and it is one of the many reasons why I hate bullies with such a passion. I can understand adults who made bad choices in life and no longer had the will to live, committing suicide, but it really bothers me when it happens to children.

I agree Ian. Bullies are appalling and one can only hope that they grow out of it.

Most children will be bullies though given the opportunity and parents that don't care enough to realise what is going on.

Edit - few things upset me more than people who commit suicide. Its horrible enough when adults reach this point, but children?

Edited September 10, 2011 by F1fanatic

[mca]

A story that has haunted me for many years is one concerning a poor Thai man that had been looking after a charming young boy for some years. Having become destitute, and seeing no future for himself, decided to commit suicide, so dressed in his best clothes and hung himself. The thing that really affects me though, is that he also dressed the young boy in his best clothes, and hung him before himself.

I still get emotional years later to think that such awful despair can exist.

Off topic but back home years ago I read a report in the paper about this little girl. She was 12 years old. She wore glasses and was a bit chubby so consequently she was bullied at school ( we know how evil kids can be ) and had no friends. A teacher said she just used to walk around alone a break times. She came home one day, told her mum she was going to her room and hung herself. She left a note saying she was sorry but she was so lonely and wished she had some pals. They had a picture of her in the paper in her school uniform posing for her first day school photo.. That picture will be in my memory forever.

For some reason all the terrible things that happen in the world like war, famine etc are just news items at 10pm to me but her story stuck with me. I'm a hulking great bloke (and if you saw me walking behind you at night on the street you might speed up despite me being completely harmless) but whenever I think of her I well up. I'm doing it now typing this.

How sad. What a waste of a life.

I think I told you in a PM about a friend's child that committed suicide and it is one of the many reasons why I hate bullies with such a passion. I can understand adults who made bad choices in life and no longer had the will to live, committing suicide, but it really bothers me when it happens to children.

I loathe them to because I was bullied a bit too. The dread of going to school was awful. Plus I had friends. The little girl in my story had none. How utterly desperate must she have been to take her own life. I just try to imagine her loneliness. Just wanting a pal. Fair breaks my heart.

[mca]

Edit - few things upset me more than people who commit suicide. Its horrible enough when adults reach this point, but children?

[ukrules]

Recently while having dinner in a cheap Thai food place a guy joined me who was Ex SAS.

It appears that im alone in not being SAS or FBI in this establishnment, as the next week I was sat down with a guy who was working for MI5.

Not all of these people are liars. Some of the stories you hear can be verified.

[Atmos]

Great thread; have not shared a dinner table with a farang since March 2010, and then it was with friends.

Did have coffee and icecream with an elderly NZ couple in May this year, but I've known them for years, and they are very happy people. No misery there.

Never been (un)fortunate enough to have a stranger join me with tales of woe.

Now I see what I've been missing out on.

[zzaa09]

These stories involving deaths are indeed very sad.

Death happens.

[andrewbkk]

These stories involving deaths are indeed very sad.

Death happens.

Well that was certainly very profound.

[IanForbes]

These stories involving deaths are indeed very sad.

Death happens.

You missed the last half of the sentence... Death happens to all of us.

However, if you've led a good life and accomplished some of the things you hoped to achieve then you can die happy. The sad part comes when a person is dying and hasn't achieved anything they hoped would happen, and it's too late to do anything about it. I'm one of the fortunate ones who has had a great life and did just about everything I wanted to. And, I'm STILL having a great life.

[zzaa09]

These stories involving deaths are indeed very sad.

Death happens.

You missed the last half of the sentence... Death happens to all of us.

However, if you've led a good life and accomplished some of the things you hoped to achieve then you can die happy. The sad part comes when a person is dying and hasn't achieved anything they hoped would happen, and it's too late to do anything about it. I'm one of the fortunate ones who has had a great life and did just about everything I wanted to. And, I'm STILL having a great life.

Another item to look forward to is coming back [reincarnation].

[Latindancer]

That is indeed a sad and moving story. BTW, If she was a little cross-eyed, it would probably have been a brain tumor.

So all cross-eyed people have brain tumors do they? That's a retarded comment!

JH

It's always struck me as quite odd how some people try to put words into my mouth and project their own qualities on to me. It is actually quite retarded to say what you just said. I did not (see for yourself) say that _all_ cross-eyed people have brain tumors. I offered it as a possible scenario rather than an aneurism. And if you read through the posts on this thread, it seems that it WAS a brain tumor......I had not seen that part of the post till just now. I just saw the part about "aneurism".

You seem to have a serious problem, "Jebhead". As you advertise to the world with your avatar......

Edited September 10, 2011 by Latindancer

[KeyserSoze01]

One way to deal with this ageless issue,is to simply call these ladies out on their games very early on. And it's not just bar/go-go girls who pull this charade. As soon as they start quoting prices and terms and conditions in exchange for their undying love and affection for eternity, tell THEM to <deleted> off straight away, and escort them to the nearest exit.

Funny, the several times I've done this, sometimes they keep coming back and trying harder; it's an ego thing for them, I'm convinced. They can't stand to be turned down by a much older guy when they are used to reeling them in like fish in a barrel. So in that situation, I'll take them for a couple of more spins around the block (paying them modestly on a per-spin basis), then I kick them to the curb and never have anything to do with them again.

Kudos to someone who knows how the game is played. If you show any tolerance for women's mind games, then you are the one getting played.

after the usual introductions, told me that his Thai GF, for whom he had bought a cheap house in her province, and with whom he was due to be married in November, had that day emptied his ATM card of 80,000B and sent him a text message saying just "found another man: <deleted> you".

Maybe he deserved it.

<deleted>?

[nocturn]

That is indeed a sad and moving story. BTW, If she was a little cross-eyed, it would probably have been a brain tumor.

So all cross-eyed people have brain tumors do they? That's a retarded comment!

JH

get over yourself, it is one of many documented potential symptoms

Edited September 10, 2011 by nocturn

[nocturn]

^ Oooooooooooooooh.......no need for that now - lol

JH

quite like the avatar though

[Darrel]

Death happens.

Indeed. But there are better ways to go than by your own hand, or at an early age as a result of some illness or violence as have been described here.

[kerryk]

Recently while having dinner in a cheap Thai food place a guy joined me who was Ex SAS.

It appears that im alone in not being SAS or FBI in this establishnment, as the next week I was sat down with a guy who was working for MI5.

I found that quite sad.

Try the “Hogs Breath Saloon” in Pattaya. Lots of guys there with good war stories. But don't forget to bring your DD-214 form (they check it for accuracy). Pattaya VFW club.

[Latindancer]

It never fails to amaze me how perfectly innocent, interesting (and in this case, sad) threads are going along fine, and then someone suddenly says something quite inappropriate and nasty to another poster.

Particularly when that poster has never had any previous contact with the person suddenly saying inappropriate things. And doubly so when they try to put words into someone else's mouth. How childish.

[Jebhead]

^ Oooooooooooooooh.......no need for that now - lol

JH

quite like the avatar though

Thanks, that's my Tuesday night outfit......

JH

[sharecropper]

It never fails to amaze me how perfectly innocent, interesting (and in this case, sad) threads are going along fine, and then someone suddenly says something quite inappropriate and nasty to another poster.

Particularly when that poster has never had any previous contact with the person suddenly saying inappropriate things. And doubly so when they try to put words into someone else's mouth. How childish.

Hey, that sounds like a perfect story for this thread....

[nocturn]

^ Oooooooooooooooh.......no need for that now - lol

JH

quite like the avatar though

Thanks, that's my Tuesday night outfit......

JH

cant begin to imagine what friday looks like

[ballpoint]

Death happens.

You missed the last half of the sentence... Death happens to all of us.

However, if you've led a good life and accomplished some of the things you hoped to achieve then you can die happy. The sad part comes when a person is dying and hasn't achieved anything they hoped would happen, and it's too late to do anything about it. I'm one of the fortunate ones who has had a great life and did just about everything I wanted to. And, I'm STILL having a great life.

I've seen and done more in my 45 years than most do in a lifetime. I'm still going to go out of this world the same way I came in it though, kicking and screaming. I fought to avoid entering this world, and I'm dam_n sure going to fight to avoid leaving it. Two quotes from very different people come to mind:

Dylan Thomas' famous lines

"Do not go gentle into that good night,

Old age should burn and rage at close of day;

Rage, rage against the dying of the light."

and

"if he (death) comes near me I'm gonna rip his nipples off"

Dave Lister. (And if you don't know who he is then you haven't even begun to live).

I agree with the regret of missing out on ones dreams. Of all things, a Taiwanese bank commercial sums it up perfectly:

http://www.quickthrottle.com/ads/bestadieverseen.html

[moe666]

I have a happy brealfast table story for you. While having brealfast with the girlfriend (american) she volunteered the 4 most important things in her life: 1 My job, thats cool,2 My grandson, thats cooler, 3. Her Daughter, understandable,4 Her Karate, huh. She stops and doesn't say anything else. I am wondering I just finished shagging her and donot get mention. I am waiting maybe she is getting her breath, she starts eating again. I am wondering am I number 5,6,7,8,9,10 or just no mention.

I keep quite figureing this little deal is about over, a few weeks later she is complaining about something and I remark well you told me a few weeks ago the most important things in your life and I wasn't on the hit parade she says huh, I recounted the story to her and she says I donot remember saying that, I say well you did and I didn't get a placement even in the top 10. We went on for 2 more years I am just hanging for the sex, as I found out later she was just biding her time until another guy came along.

I have started back to Thailand after 3 years and I am happy no more listening to complaints about how her business is going or the constant complaining about her family,

When I came back in April after 6 months in Thailand we where talking and she says I am seeing someone( I knew who it was she is not to devious) I ask her anyone I know, she says its Jim, I says O thats a suprise.heheheeh

Overall she is a nice lady but have known her for years and can spot it when she is ready to move on usually about 2 years this time lasted 4.

[IanForbes]

Sometimes, Moe, what appears to be a disaster at first sight turns out to be a blessing in disguise. I've had a number of those, but only by looking for a silver lining. By contrast, my brother continues to dwell in the past and complain about things that happened years ago.

[mca]

Sometimes, Moe, what appears to be a disaster at first sight turns out to be a blessing in disguise.

I know what you mean Ian. I had to make a mad dash for the bog once after a dodgy Thai curry fearing I was going to soil myself before reaching the porcelain throne. Reaching it safely after sitting down I noticed a previous occupant had dropped a 10 baht coin on the floor.

KERCHING!! Quids in!

[theblether]

Off topic then back on topic.......In regard to the child suicide mentioned earlier, yes there is no doubt that the story is heart rending and furthermore, more common than any of us would like to believe. My sons best friend committed suicide at 12 and even though I'm writing these words I still don't believe he meant it. I believe in most cases there is a madness that descends just before the act, and whether that madness is borne from anger, depression, desolation or any other myriad cause, in most cases people can be talked round it if you are given the chance.

There lies the problem, to the earlier story re the guy disappearing for months then turning up at the door, being refused entry, and subsequently committing suicide.......what he left behind was a legacy of guilt. In almost all cases that is what is left behind, a legacy of guilt. The worst thing about it is, in most cases the person bearing the guilt is an innocent party....it could be a sister, a brother, a Mum or Dad, any type of family member, a friend, or a relative stranger. That guilt lingers for a long time, in many cases until the end of the innocent parties life. The act of suicide echos for a long time, and I know of two cases which were surreal in cause and execution. I won't be disclosing the details.

One aspect of Ex Pat life is that we tend to make friendships far more quickly, and far deeper than in normal life. It can be compared to serving in the military, as there is an assumption of familial responsibility taken and given very early in the relationship. Any ex forces reading this will know what I'm talking about, and at their best these friendships can and will enhance your life forever.

On the downside, you can end up being wrapped up with people that you would never consider being close to in normal circumstances. Anyone that has been in Thailand for any length of time will know people who are hanging on by their fingernails, whether it be through psychological problems, drink problems, financial problems, whatever. Realistically there is no government support service in place, all the Thai police will do is collect these people off the street and drop then into the local prison where it then becomes a problem for the local embassy or consulate. These embassy staff spend their time dealing people at crisis point and they don't have the funding or the remit to do any more than that. There has been several notorious examples of this in Chiang Mai already this year and most Chiang Mai based members will be aware of who and what I'm talking about. Again I'm not going into details.

So the nub of what I'm saying is that don't be too open hearted, don't park your brain, and judgement at the airport. The vast majority of us are capable, decent self dependent people. We need to be able to draw a line between what is our responsibility, and not, and anyone considering coming to Thailand should remember that this is not some European style cradle to grave society. Take the attitude that your on your own, and if things go wrong you need to have an exit strategy. You will make outstanding friends here, but stand among us as equals, if you can't stand as an equal go home, or better yet don't come at all.

The moderators should pin a topic named " Don't park your brain at the airport", as almost all sad stories from strangers derive from them doing that. The forum and bars are full of "my thai wife/ gf sold the house / bar / car / ran off with the pool boy / bank account / family heirloom" stories.........I won't add to it.....however one evening in a Thai cafe a stranger started talking to me and said.........

He had been in Pattaya a couple of years before and had the usual bar girl / holiday romance story. The way he described it he had started off as a paying client and ended up looking after the girl till he went home. Not being a novice he made it clear to the girl that he wasn't up for being a sponsor, however he did keep in touch with her, and he had every intention of taking her on board when he came back to Thailand. After a few months she asked him for help as she was diagnosed with some type of illness, and he refused, thinking it was a financial ploy. Anyway, he lost contact with the girl, but the story bothered him. On his next trip back to Thailand he went back to the bar looking for her. No one immediately recognized the name of the girl he was talking about, and he went and downloaded a photo she had emailed him. He went back to the bar and showed the photo......one girl recognized the picture and announced....."yes, I know her, she died two months ago".

Oscar Wilde once remarked of The Old Curiosity Shop that one must have a heart of stone to read the death of little Nell without laughing.

I'm not saying that a laughed at this story however when you come to Thailand bring your brain and a hearty supply of cynicism.

[poanoi]

I recall when living at the corner of 3rd & south pattaya rd, think it's called L.K plaza, it had a new thai pub, when about midnight i heard some fighting.

I saw an older guy in suit threatening a boy with a gun, and 3 younger man started beating and eventually stoned the guy to death. They the three younger guys took the bike with sidecar at the wholesale shop next to the bar, threw the body on it and drove off into the night.

Edited September 11, 2011 by poanoi

[cigar7]

My next door neighbour worked like a dog, doing shift work. Many times I would wake-up at 5:30am and see him going to work. Sometimes he would pull a double shift. Occasionally we talked about his life and he was so proud of providing for his family and owning a home and a car. Finally, after working at the same factory for 37 years, he retired at 65 with a nice pension. After retirement, I saw him almost every day sitting outside having a smoke and we talked about what he was doing. He basically had no plans for retirement. About 1.5 years after retirement he died, and then his wife died 2 years later. It seems so sad that people work hard until 65 and never get to enjoy the rewards of a lifetime of work. His son and daughter inherited everything.

Edited September 11, 2011 by cigar7

[IanForbes]

Good advice from theblether. I agee whole heartedly, but it is often difficult to be hard hearted when you see someone in need and you think you can help. Very often it is just a stopgap in their downfall and they carry on into despair when you stop helping. The only real help you can give is to help people help themselves.

The story that cigar7 tells is an all too common one. Men devote their whole life to work and make no real practical plans for retirement.