Are All Thai Boys Spoiled?

[thaibeachlovers]

The two young Thai boys ( 14 and 15 ) in the household I live in have their own motorbikes, own computers and contribute zero to the household ie they spend their time in the house on the internet, usually playing games, till THEY feel like going to bed ( making no attempt to be quiet even if all the adults have gone to bed ), do no chores of any kind, and if anyone tells them off, their mother ( who does not live with them ) attacks whomever has done so ( NB I keep my mouth shut, but it's very frustrating ). In any case, they take no notice of being told off.

Is this a normal situation, or do other male children have to help around the house, grow gardens etc?

[robblok]

Id say your house your rules. If not your house too bad their rules.

[thaibeachlovers]

Id say your house your rules. If not your house too bad their rules.

Please, the question is whether all or most Thai boys are spoiled, not about rules. Their grandmother who looks after them is not happy re the situation, but nothing she can do about it, and it is her house.

[Geekfreaklover]

No, all Thai boys are not spolied.

My three luk-kurung kids aren't and the vast majority of the thousands I've taught over the years aren't spoiled.

Bad parenting can be found in all countires, normally within very poor or very rich family units. There seems to be this parental mentality that if you let them do what they want then they won't bother you. Nothing could be further from the truth. This goes for girls too.

[Mirth]

Generally speaking, in an asian society, the answer is YES! In very rare cases would the males be contributing or well behaved. Even if there are 3 kids in the house with the middle one being male, he will be spoilt.

I have a worker who got pregnant and the guy side delayed the wedding till she went for her ultrasound at 4 months. When the doctor confirmed it's a male, the wedding went ahead. Last week, the said worker went back to MIL place for distribution of asset. The MIL gave her ONLY grandson the biggest share.

Like it or not, this is Asia where women are on 1 hand 2nd class and same time, they wield the power cos of women charter. And sons will always be given priority over daughters. That is why MIL can never get along with the DIL cos both think and want the same things which is pamper their sons and control their husband.

[zzaa09]

No, all Thai boys are not spolied.

My three luk-kurung kids aren't and the vast majority of the thousands I've taught over the years aren't spoiled.

Bad parenting can be found in all countires, normally within very poor or very rich family units. There seems to be this parental mentality that if you let them do what they want then they won't bother you. Nothing could be further from the truth. This goes for girls too.

I believe this is strongly true - the responsibility of the parents and to a lesser level, the immediate extended family.

This topic has been a pet peeve for years, as it naturally applies to Thai rural living and situations.

Day in and day out, I find that the young male adults [post-school ages] have seemingly no direction or aren't encouraged to direct themselves. They hang out. Looking for trouble. Self-absorbed and incredibly inconsiderate to the family and community at large. Work....sure, we know that things are tough these days for the youngster to seek some sort of sustainable employment - but for the most part, they [and their families] find it unnecessary to contribute. Not even to involve themselves with family farming, working on the said property, lending a hand to neighbors, etc.

Yet, always seem to have pocket change here and there - Mothers, Grandmothers, Aunts.

There is this sense that they are waiting for something. They aren't continuing an education nor working. Waiting for the miracle.....

These situations are quite the norm throughout countryside Thailand. I do know that these social factors are a reletively new one - within this last generation. Things have dramatically within the social strata.

[maccaroni man]

lazy is an easy answer spoiled ??? not sure

[zzaa09]

Generally speaking, in an asian society, the answer is YES! In very rare cases would the males be contributing or well behaved. Even if there are 3 kids in the house with the middle one being male, he will be spoilt.

I have a worker who got pregnant and the guy side delayed the wedding till she went for her ultrasound at 4 months. When the doctor confirmed it's a male, the wedding went ahead. Last week, the said worker went back to MIL place for distribution of asset. The MIL gave her ONLY grandson the biggest share.

Like it or not, this is Asia where women are on 1 hand 2nd class and same time, they wield the power cos of women charter. And sons will always be given priority over daughters. That is why MIL can never get along with the DIL cos both think and want the same things which is pamper their sons and control their husband.

Bit of a complex paradox, is it not?

The proposed surfaced patriarchial cultures that are principally matriarchal driven and to a greater stead, matrilineal.

In truth, females are running the show - particularly in Asia.

Edited September 9, 2011 by zzaa09

[Semper]

Id say your house your rules. If not your house too bad their rules.

Please, the question is whether all or most Thai boys are spoiled, not about rules. Their grandmother who looks after them is not happy re the situation, but nothing she can do about it, and it is her house.

The girls are the same. It's called the new generation, and yes they are spoiled brats wich needs to be dealt with.

[sadako]

Yes all Thai boys are spoiled theyre all racist they all hate farangs and they all drive tuk tuks

BURP

wobble wibble wibbly type type flinch wobble

[thaibeachlovers]

No, all Thai boys are not spolied.

My three luk-kurung kids aren't and the vast majority of the thousands I've taught over the years aren't spoiled.

Bad parenting can be found in all countires, normally within very poor or very rich family units. There seems to be this parental mentality that if you let them do what they want then they won't bother you. Nothing could be further from the truth. This goes for girls too.

I believe this is strongly true - the responsibility of the parents and to a lesser level, the immediate extended family.

This topic has been a pet peeve for years, as it naturally applies to Thai rural living and situations.

Day in and day out, I find that the young male adults [post-school ages] have seemingly no direction or aren't encouraged to direct themselves. They hang out. Looking for trouble. Self-absorbed and incredibly inconsiderate to the family and community at large. Work....sure, we know that things are tough these days for the youngster to seek some sort of sustainable employment - but for the most part, they [and their families] find it unnecessary to contribute. Not even to involve themselves with family farming, working on the said property, lending a hand to neighbors, etc.

Yet, always seem to have pocket change here and there - Mothers, Grandmothers, Aunts.

There is this sense that they are waiting for something. They aren't continuing an education nor working. Waiting for the miracle.....

These situations are quite the norm throughout countryside Thailand. I do know that these social factors are a reletively new one - within this last generation. Things have dramatically within the social strata.

Yes, lots of recent changes I'm sure.

In my situation, none of the rellies have boys, so can't compare, but at their age, my wife and her sister were out working when they weren't in school, and when not working were looking for food ( insects etc ), not doing whatever they felt like. No brother in law, so can't ask my wife about it.

I get narked, because I've always been led to believe that the family is poor, but the boys have mo'bikes, computers, expensive mobiles etc and make no attempt to conserve electricity, or help out by gardening, or even to help if someone else is doing something. Their only activity seems to be computer games or social media on the internet.

[zzaa09]

Id say your house your rules. If not your house too bad their rules.

Please, the question is whether all or most Thai boys are spoiled, not about rules. Their grandmother who looks after them is not happy re the situation, but nothing she can do about it, and it is her house.

The girls are the same. It's called the new generation, and yes they are spoiled brats wich needs to be dealt with.

Yep. This generation. The consumers - the need for want. This character that this new social engineering creates.

A humble soul isn't even in the works.....

And consideration isn't even part of their personality.

Edited September 9, 2011 by zzaa09

[transam]

Boy or girl they are lazy and spoiled. BUT same in UK, changing times. They get everything. Makes me angry but ..............

[TheWalkingMan]

I went to visit one of my friends up in the great Isan badlands. She has a son about 14/15. Laziest kid I ever saw. His days consisted of playing video games in his room or hanging out with friends. School? Rarely if ever on the schedule. I told her, not my place but so what, that she needed to get him turned around now as their is a good chance that he will be a drain on her forever. Get him in a trade school or something. Her comment... He not do.

[transam]

I went to visit one of my friends up in the great Isan badlands. She has a son about 14/15. Laziest kid I ever saw. His days consisted of playing video games in his room or hanging out with friends. School? Rarely if ever on the schedule. I told her, not my place but so what, that she needed to get him turned around now as their is a good chance that he will be a drain on her forever. Get him in a trade school or something. Her comment... He not do.

Yep, but it seems if '' family '' they can do no wrong and the '' family '' will put up with it and put their hands in their pockets to find cash to solve all but they solve nothing.

[zzaa09]

.....and what becomes of them when they're forced to "grow up" and take on some assemblance of responsibility? And a life mate...?? What girl in her right mind would take on such a task?

[Semper]

.....and what becomes of them when they're forced to "grow up" and take on some assemblance of responsibility? And a life mate...?? What girl in her right mind would take on such a task?

Yabaa is a popular solution.

[transam]

.....and what becomes of them when they're forced to "grow up" and take on some assemblance of responsibility? And a life mate...?? What girl in her right mind would take on such a task?

Let's just say l have had to deal with it AND many of my pals. Must admit the farang $ millionaire connection makes a lot of difference with many but not in my house.

[aneliane]

E-du-ca-tion

[transam]

E-du-ca-tion

Home grown doesn't work here, or anywhere else for that matter.

[zzaa09]

E-du-ca-tion

Easier said than done. Contrary to popular myths, most can't [or won't] afford the continuing education for their brats.

Even beyond that.....an education doesn't guarantee anything.

[Heng]

Plenty are. But the ones that are problematic to society are the unguided ones, spoiled or not. You can successfully spoil AND guide children on their way to becoming 2nd, 3rd, and 4th generation leaders and captains of industry. It's wishful thinking on the part of the common masses that you have to claw your way up from the clay, unspoiled like an 18th century industrialist. True, you can never truly simulate the environment that creates that tough as nails view of life that generation one has... but you can certainly cultivate frugality, tradition, and that general be the best/better than the rest/appreciate your fortune school of thought.

[transam]

Plenty are. But the ones that are problematic to society are the unguided ones, spoiled or not. You can successfully spoil AND guide children on their way to becoming 2nd, 3rd, and 4th generation leaders and captains of industry. It's wishful thinking on the part of the common masses that you have to claw your way up from the clay, unspoiled like an 18th century industrialist. True, you can never truly simulate the environment that creates that tough as nails view of life that generation one has... but you can certainly cultivate frugality, tradition, and that general be the best/better than the rest/appreciate your fortune school of thought.

But can you here ?

[Semper]

E-du-ca-tion

If you mean sending them to a uni. Think again, many af them are hanging around shoppingmalls all day.

[Geekfreaklover]

Plenty are. But the ones that are problematic to society are the unguided ones, spoiled or not. You can successfully spoil AND guide children on their way to becoming 2nd, 3rd, and 4th generation leaders and captains of industry. It's wishful thinking on the part of the common masses that you have to claw your way up from the clay, unspoiled like an 18th century industrialist. True, you can never truly simulate the environment that creates that tough as nails view of life that generation one has... but you can certainly cultivate frugality, tradition, and that general be the best/better than the rest/appreciate your fortune school of thought.

But can you here ?

Yes. It can be done anywhere.

Below are observations in Isaan.

One Thai guy I knew, poor from humble beginings lived in a small Isaan town, educated himself to a good level of English using language cassettes clawed his way up to director of a Thai government school. He taught his son English. I also taught the son English in exchange for Thai lessons from his father. The kid won a scholarship from a US university. Quite something and a first for the kid from that area. Antoher Thai guy I taught won a scholarship to study upper-state New York. These are people from the poor provinces it happens all the time in the cities. You don't see so many girls being pushed to go study overseas, which indicates that the boys are often incorrectly seen as the best hope for the family, quite incorrectly, I might add. Yes, you could say spoilt.

Above examples are exceptions, the normal status que is that the woman works and looks after the family whilst the man does whatever he wants to do. In Isaan there is fruit falling off the trees and fish swimming in the lake. Nobody really goes hungry and everything else is a bonus. The woman keeps the family together.

Observations in Bangkok.

In Bangkok for the working-to-middle class it is a much similar lifestyle to many western countries. Tougher in many ways. Man and woman both work and work hard. The children are put into the best schools possible and are taught to become hard-working citizens. The children that laze around and do not work find themselves at odds with the system. This is not true for the very rich or very poor immigrants who simply retreat to the mansion or the farm in the province with their tails betwenn their legs.

[Heng]

Plenty are. But the ones that are problematic to society are the unguided ones, spoiled or not. You can successfully spoil AND guide children on their way to becoming 2nd, 3rd, and 4th generation leaders and captains of industry. It's wishful thinking on the part of the common masses that you have to claw your way up from the clay, unspoiled like an 18th century industrialist. True, you can never truly simulate the environment that creates that tough as nails view of life that generation one has... but you can certainly cultivate frugality, tradition, and that general be the best/better than the rest/appreciate your fortune school of thought.

But can you here ?

Sure, you can do it anywhere. It's most apparent in the better established families (and given, many end up with well do to thugs and slackers in their households as well) but it can be seen in many middle and upper middle class households as well. It's not hard to see that the most balanced kids (spoiled or not) come from the households where you see both parents (and extended family) involved in cultivation of the next generation and the worst off are those who you might never see their parents at all (although again, given, some parents like these luck out as well and the kids choose to apply themselves).

Edited September 9, 2011 by Heng

[kerryk]

In my experience the lady boy boys both at home and at school seemed to be the hardest working and most willing to help.

[nocturn]

.....and what becomes of them when they're forced to "grow up" and take on some assemblance of responsibility? And a life mate...?? What girl in her right mind would take on such a task?

now you are just making up words.

[thaibeachlovers]

.....and what becomes of them when they're forced to "grow up" and take on some assemblance of responsibility? And a life mate...?? What girl in her right mind would take on such a task?

Exactly what I've been telling my wife, but she says her sister only says that "they're young".

If they do happen to get married, i really pity the poor girl, as she'll be waiting on him hand and foot.

I'm trying to get my wife to stop doing everything for them, but it's a hopeless battle. She's just indoctrinated.

I've had more disagreements with her ( about them ) in 2 months at the MIL house than we had in the 2 years prior.

[Geekfreaklover]

In my experience the lady boy boys both at home and at school seemed to be the hardest working and most willing to help.

Your personal experience speaks volumes, Kerry.