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You Know You'Re Becoming A Local When...


Riggi

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1. you chew up the little splinters of chicken and pork bone in your food because you couldn't be bothered picking them out.

I used to pick all the little pieces of bone out, but now often find myself just chewing and swallowing them because it is too much effort to pick them all out.

<deleted> is with that anyway? Do they use a 10 lb sledge to cut it up with? Or perhaps a bowling ball? When I first arrived here I swore the mother-in-law ran any chicken used in any recipe calling for it, through a chipper first. After the first bone piece implantation in the roof of your mouth or somewhere along the gum line, you learn to s-l-o-w d-o-w-n eating. It was like eating in a mine field at first. Maybe it is a form of culturally induced fiber in the diet? I guess since they are mostly lactose intolerant, then eat your calcium by swallowing bone pieces, eh? Pom mai rue. pg

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Instead of slowing down and let the on coming Thai driver pass you because there is a bicycle rider on the left shoulder, a motor cycle rider overtaking the bicycle rider, a farm vehicle on the other shoulder, you resort to threading the needle driving antics...just like a lot of the locals do. tsk, tsk, tsk ett

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Oh isn't that the truth...and also, without missing a step, without slowing down at all....step out of your shoes at the doorway and never even think about it. ett

You think It's normal to scrape your feet along the ground without lifting them up when you walk.

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How about....ingesting some unknown piece of something or other that is in the soup like dish they have served, dissolving it in your mouth and then tactfully take each piece of bone that came with it, out of your mouth and place it either on the very large serving tray or just right on the table. I have gotten to the point where I don't bother trying to tear it apart with my fork/spoon, fingers, etc....just work it around and let the enzymes in the old saliva do its thing. Uh-huh! PP

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When the soi dogs walk with you,instead of barking non stop.

When you start craving somtam at lunchtime.

When you ignore no u-turn signs

And when you get in the credit book at the local shop.

When the scousers(bin-dippers)make special detours to pick your empty's up.

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You use toilet paper as a subsitute for tissue paper on the dinner table.

Err, what is tissue paper?

You wear your jacket back to front while riding your motorbike.

And a balaclava in 100 degree heat.

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You Know You're Becoming A Local When..........

1. ...your wife's chilly dishes aren't spicey enough

2. ...you want to make sure the stinky fish is old and mature enough for bamboo soup.

3. ...you don't notice the temple tannoy at 140db (est) in the mornings. (I honestly think a retired sound guy with his equipment from the group Kiss lives at the temple)

4. ...a plastic NamTip bottle filled full of local moonshine is the norm.

5. ...you make sure to get ice for your beer.

6.......

Edited by Garry
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When you finally realize that the true purpose of a road is to hang out, meet, greet & converse, and, why not, have a party - complete with awning, chairs, and, 'ell, a bandstand. Nevermind silliness like 'the road up is the road down' - it's a good place to set up shop, do a little business, broadcast propaganda at high volume, hold a protest of Facists for Pretense of Democracy, or, better yet, have a huge, week-long water-fight!

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...you can't remember what "right of way" ever meant.

...you think of all the empty plastic bags on your lawn as normal yard ornaments.

...you touch an appliance without the usual shock, and it surprises you.

...a driver stops to let you cross the street and you don't know what to do.

...you're in a line of traffic, all running a red light, and you just go with the flow.

...you are blind to "No U-turn" signs.

..you ask why they used too few chili peppers in your tom-yum/grappow mu/phad bak boong, etc.

...washing dishes in hot water would seem strange.

...you're embarrassed by old male farang tourists in shorts and sandals with socks.

...you're jealous of the 70-year old farang with his knock-down-gorgeous twenty-something teerak.

...you haven't seen an ant in more than 24 hours and it worries you.

..you pick out the odd insect from your food and keep eating it. Better, you set it aside to eat later.

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