Paradise Turns To Hell When You Learn The Thai Language

[DiabloJoe]

When I first arrived in Thailand I thought I truly was in the land of smiles. People were friendly and polite wherever I went and the 700 baht I paid for the taxi ride from the airport to Kao San road seemed fair in comparison to a cab fare in NYC or London.

I believed the taxi driver when he said the meter was broken and was just happy to be away from the mundane boredom of the western world. Even the overcharged prices I was paying at the market seemed reasonable and I was just happy to be sold something

for half the price and to someone who actually smiled at me and said thank you handsome man'.

Whenever I met other foreigners who had been in Thailand and told me that I was just living in my own fantasy and that really the thai's hated us I would always retort

back that "No, the thai people are the friendliest people on the planet you must just be old, angry and racist'. Most the people I met who were tourists were living in the same fantasy world as me where everything is a dream come true! Beautiful women who are

always happy and never question your motives or the way you think. Absolutely no conflict or confrontations as compared with the western world where a simple discussion becomes a debate within seconds if you share a different view on a subject.

Well then I got curious to why everyone was saying "Farang Kee Niow" everytime I would stop at a street side cafe and eat some fried rice or if I bought items at the same places an average thai would shop why I would be called "Farang mai me ngun, kee nok.

So I asked my first GF who fortunately was not a bargirl, hooker or lady boy that I usually see firsttime westerners with. This girl was a fresh college graduate with a beautiful smile but she could not speak very much english, and her body would shake the first time

we kissed.

So much more feminine and innocent than the western ladies who act like they got a pair of bowling balls between there legs. Well she told me the meaning of those words and I thought I was going to hear something positive like, Farang Kee niow would mean

I'm a clever man for eating like the thai's or that Farang Kee nok would mean I'm handsome or cool. When she told me Kee Niow meant that they thought I was a sticky piece of shit with no money and that Kee Nok was the shit of a bird that flies to thailand and has nowhere to go

My fantasy land of smiles turned to a Nightmare of frowns. But it wasnt that bad I thought it was just a few angry idiots who complained about us and the rest thought of us in a positive way. So I got myself a book and learned how to speak thai.

I was still pretty fresh off the boat being here

for only 6 months and the happiest I'd been in a long time. Everyone wanted to be friends with me also even the thai guys who really tried to speak english which I thought was them just being genuinely interested in communicating with a western man and not just a free english lesson.

The more thai I learned the more I began to realize those grumpy old westerners who called me an idiot in self denial for loving the thai people so much just may be a bit right after all. The thai people openly judged me wherever I went and especially if they thought I couldn't understand the more they would judge me.

If I dressed in a suit and tie they would call my girlfriend a gold digging whore. If I wore sandals, shorts and a t-shirt they would call me bird shit with no money and some were even brave enough to ask my girlfriend why a college educated girl like her

would not find a wealthier more handsome westerner or thai to be with. As u know in Thailand, men still walk all over women like they are the broken chang beer bottles on the shore of Koh-si Chang Island.

Girls are taught to be subservient and respectful and men are taught to be demanding and obnoxious. If you don't believe me just walk into any Internet Cafe at around 3:30 PM and see the highschool or college students come into the cafe and pretend not to speak thai and be nice with everyone and just listen to the horrible things these youngsters will say to you.

Such as 'He's as fat as a whale or he is as old as a dead man in a grave or he is just here to <Snip> our women or hey u should see if that guy can loan us some money so we can take some girls to the short time hotel. Absolutely no respect and I STILL tried to keep an open mind and learned more and more thai. Some people showed some respect when they knew I learned how to speak thai and would speak in a positive manner face to face.

But usually if I came to the same place more than once I would always hear them gossiping about me in a negative light when they thought I was out of "Hearing the Gossip" range. Some of the thai men I befriended which I thought were actually REAL friends while I only spoke english started getting frustrated when I wanted to speak to them in thai when I endured hours of them attempting to speak english with me.

I even loaned a few of them money thinking they were trustworthy and I knew where there families lived. Well I was wrong, 500 baht, 2000 baht and 1000 baht to 3 different friends dissapeared along with there mobile numbers and there whereabouts when I went back to ask there parents if they were still home. These guys were around 30 at the time like me.

I've been robbed 5 times, cheated more than 20, lied to by over a thousand and nearly murdered more than once. All this in just 3 years... In 30 years in the western world I've been robbed once, cheated twice and lied to probably as many times but nobody attempted to murder me before. Believe me I know about all the cultural differences and I accepted them, I've immersed myself in the Thai culture and spent months in exile with ONLY thai people around me so please no culture lessons fellaz.

I know that education system isnt the same here and cultural diversity is pretty barren in most areas. So most of the disturbing things I've discovered u would normally find to be expected in a place like this. I love everything in Thailand except for the overpopulation of rude prejudiced obnoxious people who need to spend some time being educated and opening there minds of the world. Also most of the westerners I meet in Thailand seem to walk around like they have a silver spoon up there ass as well. It gets a bit annoying after a while.

Anyone out there in the same boat as me or am I just negative and grumpy like I called those old westerners a few years ago when I was living in my own land of smiles?

Edited December 17, 2011 by Rooo
Profanity removed. & separated for ease of reading

[MrsMills]

Nice rant, I like your work. :jap:

[Soutpeel]

Only one word for you....."Paragraphs"....did they not teach you this when you were learning to become an "English teacher"....

Edited December 16, 2011 by Soutpeel

[chonabot]

I felt very similar about 15 years ago - then returned to the UK for a decade and a half of TV, cold weather and ridiculous racism towards my wife and Luk Krung son.

Now I have come back to Los and still see the same attitudes as you do - but still it's better than what I left behind.

It's impossible to educate these ignorant people you have described so aptly - I guess it would be easy to say avoid them and surround yourself in family - but they may be just as bad

ps tell us more about the 'nearly murdered episodes'

Edited December 16, 2011 by chonabot

[Ulysses G.]

I speak Thai and I love the place. The OP must have personal problems.

Edited December 16, 2011 by Ulysses G.

[Soutpeel]

Nice rant, I like your work. :jap:

Suppose the real question is....how much did she take you for ?...

[TexasRanger]

Same here.

I speak Thai and I love the place the OP must have personal problems.

[Travel2003]

I have been in most of the situations (not the mugging and almost murdered), and do not really recognize it.

Well, the taxis of course.

Thais dont hate foreigners. They probably dont like them as much as locals, as goes for most of the countries in the world.

When I tell my wife she is Kee Niow, she laughs and say yes she is. In other words, the meaning is not what OP think it is.

I hope, for OP's own sake, he leaves the country before he gets killed, since it seems like he ends up in sticky situations a lot.

All the best to you Sir, and I hope you a lifetime of happiness somewhere else.

:-)

:-)

[mataus101]

buy some tissues and dry your eyes mr positive.

[ludditeman]

When the guys wanted to borrow some money to go to the short time hotel, you missed a chance.

"I pay your hotel bill, you find a girl to go with me."

[tingtongtourist]

I think you wrong on the one detail,when the Thai call you farang kee nok it because bird shit is white and fall from the sky just like when you fall from plane and land in thailand

another think...I always to eat lot of cheap food on street and no person call me the kee niow name.maybe your clothes are old and make you to look poor

[Thongkorn]

I know where you are going, I can speak Thai not perfectly but can get by, I totally agree with you, many Thais see you as they have been indoctrinate as child and by their parents, and TV. I hear many Thai people speaking bad about me and western people in general. Some like me, to speak Thai, the ones in the Village mainly, Some cannot believe that a falang would want to, and can speak Thai, I mainly keep quiet now and just listen. Some times it gets Embarrassing for my Thai wife because she knows i understand .She has even been ask why she has taught me Thai, in fact i could speak a Little Thai before i met her because she could not speak English. But there is a fruit called falang, ke nok, I have been told there are not many around now in Thailand. The bottom line is you have to put up with it, Its their Country.

[ludditeman]

I think you wrong on the one detail,when the Thai call you farang kee nok it because bird shit is white and fall from the sky just like when you fall from plane and land in thailand

another think...I always to eat lot of cheap food on street and no person call me the kee niow name.maybe your clothes are old and make you to look poor

Sorry but

Khee nok, someone who doesn't bathe often, and smells of BO.

Khee neow, someone who doesn't share his wealth

[thaimate]

I love living here ,never had any problems ,speak some Thai and could never go back to the west ,what do i think of Thais ? half of them if brains were gunpowder they couldnt blow their hats off, if they think they are better and more inteligent than me ,who cares ,i live in a big house ,have money and a loving familly ,if some guy living in a sh-thole and paying off the hp on his car over 7 years thinks he is more inteligant than me , good luck to him .Its his problem not mine.

[Hooters]

Thats why i live on Sukhumvit and surround my self with falang, at least when they put you down its usually behind your back

[GooEng]

i can identify quite closely with the experiences of the OP, where we differ however is that i could not give a flying <snip> what the thais that surround me think of me or say about me - it's all just water off a buffaloes back, so to speak.

Edited December 16, 2011 by metisdead
Disguised profanity removed.

[simon43]

I learnt Thai and now it's great being able to take the p*ss out of Thai people in their own language

[lazygourmet]

Quote from the OP: " in the western world I've been robbed once"

So do I, that was 20 years ago and the culprit was my government...

Since that outrageous fiscal scam, I am living -free peace of mind- in South-East Asia

Edited December 16, 2011 by lazygourmet

[villagefarang]

I find it entertaining to eavesdrop on Thais and there conversations. Friends always prefer to speak Thai even when they speak English. I don’t loan money so never had that problem. Never been robbed, though my misspent youth found me surrounded by those unencumbered by a sense of right and wrong.

The shortcoming of others really don’t bother me all that much. They are free to screw up their lives any way they want. I have on the other hand, managed to navigate my 35+ years in Thailand with relative ease. I credit that ease, not only to my ability to speak Thai but my ability to read people.

Thailand is not a good fit for everyone, even if they speak Thai. I have lived here continuously since my early twenties and was single into my forties so my view of Thailand is not restricted to that of happily married man of 57. It has all been good in my estimation and I find myself in a very good place.

[Thongkorn]

Quote from the OP: " in the western world I've been robbed once"

So do I, that was 20 years ago and the culprit was my government...

Since that outrageous fiscal scam, I am leaving -free peace of mind- in South-East Asia

Would that be after health care was provided cheap, and protection from war, and the privileges of free speech. and many more Civil liberties that many Asains don't have.

[ihunnieibee]

I was just wondering, most of you are guys right? Are there any women here who speak Thai fluently and encounter the same types of things being said about them? I know some Thai and I know people talk about me in front of my face but I'm not fluent in Thai and I don't want to make assumptions about what exactly they're saying.

It is obvious when they look at you, turn to their friend, whisper, point, or whatever and then laugh and say "farang" that they're talking about me..

I just wonder that's all. I blame myself for not caring so much about learning Thai but I also just wanna know if women experience this too.

[HardenedSoul]

Attempted murder ??!! I can't imagine how the OP found himself at the losing end of that situation but this much is for sure; despite claims to the contrary to be found all over this forum, it is NOT easy to get yourself into that kind of trouble in Thailand. Yes it's replete with delights to sate even the most twisted of appetites and lifestyles but it's not for fools. Like the OP, I've been here for 3.5 years and, other than having to physically eject the occasional errant female from my apartment, I've had no bother whatsoever.

It's not ideal but, here, it definitely pays to be distrustful - both of the locals and the expats - so when meeting or interacting with a Thai for business or social reasons, as long as you ask yourself, "Would I have dealings or interactions with this person's counterpart back in the West?", you'll generally be alright. So, if Somchai, the motorbike taxi-rider from OnNut's behaviour has striking similarities to Hector the Cut man from Harlesden's, don't get involved, don't lend him money and don't root his sister.

[richard_smith237]

It appears as though the Op has made what in my opinion is the mistake of 'putting himself out there' too much.

Some Thai's are rude, obnoxious, ignorant and sometimes downright offensive and so are people from many if not all other nationalities.

This 'Land of Smiles' is perhaps one of the greatest perpetuated myths about Thailand I am aware of. My wife and I are currently holidaying in Europe, there are plenty of smiles here too !...

Treat Thailand as anywhere else; with a polite indifference and you'll get long just fine.

For the record I've also been here 15 years. My closest friend is a Thai chappy of the same age and through him there has been an overlap of friends. I have an equal number of Thai and Western friends in Thailand. Many of my western friends have also become friends with my Thai friends.

This is in Bangkok where the group are all of similar socio-economic-educational means...

When out and about I too sometimes hear the odd negative remark - it could be about me, it could be about my wife, it could be about last nights TV episode. I really don't care and I really don't believe other people are that interested in me to pass comment.

I can only question the judgement of character possessed by the op to allow himself to be faced with these issues after spending such time here. Also, where is he hanging out ?

[monty1412]

Lending money.. you should know better

Punctuating your monologue with an occasional paragraph.. maybe an idea

Almost been murdered ???? Change your lifestyle/ occupation/ friends/ demeanour or whatever it is the got you into that predicament.

I think there is a little bit of truth in what you write and I mean that we all have experienced some of this to some extent.

However lets not be too harsh on the Thais.... Im just the same about foreigners in my homeland....I remember a few years ago some Indians moved in next door to me in Sydney.. I used to carry on about the F$5king curry munchers next door ( until I got to know them and had some of the best dinners ver at their place). Point is I think its natural for all nationalities to be a little cautious wary and even disparaging about other nationalities and when you see the average thai guy who doesn't have much and he sees a franag with a good looking Thai girl spending more in one night than he earns in a week or month their is bound to be some resentment.

Case in point about what I write.. gf ( thai) and I walking down Soi 24 the other day.. two security guards standing around near roadside and as we passed one said something to effect tat when he comes back for next life he wants to be farang.

I try ( not always successful) to look at flip side sometimes...... if Thailand didn't have visa's, if they allowed falang to own property, if it was free for all and easy easy living.. would it still be the same place that most of us know and enjoy now.. I don't think so.... what if it was more like Singapore.. clean tidy organised english speaking.. would you still want to live there ?????

Good with the bad.. it all a balance.. what did you really expect those kids in the internet cafe to say... what if it was a thai guy who went into an internet cafe on western outskirts of Sydney....... I daresay he'd be lucky to come out in one piece.... you didn't ask for advice and its not intended but the one trait that holds me pretty straight is that I read people pretty well.... I use it here much more than back home and find that your initial impressions and thoughts about someones look/ demeanour how they look at you etc is one of the best early warning self protection mechanisms... maybe an idea to start trusting your inner gut more....

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and impressions.. just get away from the murder crap.... a decent murdering can really put a damper on your day.

[farang000999]

when is your flight home?

[stiggy]

Try this, get in taxi or go to a restuarant in UK or NY or Sydney and speak only Thai.

You will find the same attitude the same pisstaking,always the same when others think you cannot understand them and you look like a foriegner.

Personally I use it my advantage,if im somewhere new or out to buy something. I will Mostly speak no Thai at start than hit them with a funny quip or join in the banter (as thats all it is mostly)in Thai.Useall response is to hit you back with fast Thai and see if you really understand Thai or just know a few words.

When the penny drops that yes you can speak Thai and understand, 90% of the time they bend over backwards to save face become very friendly and drop prices drastically or give great service.As a bonus next time you see them they remember you and are fine.

A few will also avoid you at all costs these guys are not worth worrying about, nothing better than hearing you speak Thai no good as they skulk off.

Relax being able to communicate is always an advantage.

[h90]

I speak Thai and I love the place. The OP must have personal problems.

Well it was the only place that called him handsome man and now he found a mirror....

That IS disturbing :lol:

[MidoriApple]

Sorry, that I just can't finish reading all what OP has written..

well...no paragraph... and more I read I can imagine for most of scenario you have experienced.

Thailand is not that bad country, and all Thais don't think Farangs are always being cheap-charlie

You just keep being surrounded in tourist areas which the Thais expected you for spending money to them, because they are doing biz with the tourists.

Thailand is one ordinary country in this world, we are not disneyland as you heard when in your hometown.

So please don't expect to find here as a paradise which young and sexy Thais will want to cuddle you and can't notice if you are grumpy, old, desperate man..

You are whom you are, exactly the same as in Farangland..

that's all...

Edit: Spelling fixed

Edited December 16, 2011 by MidoriApple

[astral]

I learnt Thai and now it's great being able to take the p*ss out of Thai people in their own language

Or stand in a lift (elevator) and listen to them talking about you,

then turn round and add your own comment, much to their discomfort.

Learning Thai opened doors for me, closed to the tourist.

[chonabot]

Good with the bad.. it all a balance.. what did you really expect those kids in the internet cafe to say... what if it was a thai guy who went into an internet cafe on western outskirts of Sydney....... I daresay he'd be lucky to come out in one piece....

Very Good point - 2 weeks before we left the UK my son - 13 - was beaten up in a racially motivated attack.

This was in a small town in South Oxfordshire where he had lived and gone to school all of his young life.

Amongst bruises and a few cuts he also had the word ' Paki C*unt' scrawled on his face.

He looks more European than Thai - but is no doubt different to the usual kids , and different isn't appreciated in the UK these days.

The fact we had decided to move away from the UK was not due to this, but I feared this sort of incident would happen sooner than later.

In our village in Isaan, a few days after arriving, my son and I were walking through and came across a bunch of 10-15 year olds playing football.

We were called 'Baaksida' and a few other choice words were flung in our direction.

My son looked at me and said ' Bloody hell Dad, can we go to a place that I DO fit in ? '

I guess the difference is that these kids' parents were then spoken to by my wife - and now my son joins in ( with the football, not the 'Baaksida chants ' )

In the last month or so my son has grown up a lot, I'm proud of him and ashamed of my own Country.

Edited December 16, 2011 by chonabot