All Stuffed Now (Maybe)

[ludditeman]

As for the rest of you who have alternated between criticism of my wife's age, appearance, their assessment of my family's joy at our celebration, and cynical assumptions regarding money and the cultural tradition of sinsot; I think you're probably revealing more about yourselves than you imagine - certainly you're far less qualified to judge my own situation than I am.

To be completely serious.

Considering the amount of money you spent on her 'big day', she didn't look all that happy.

Personally, I would have been disappointed.

[aussiebebe]

It looked like a lovely wedding, good luck to the couple - what does the title of this thread actually mean?

[pwm]

If you think that giving large sums of money to the wife's family will "prove your ties" to the Thai authorities - you're living in cloud cuckoo land....

I don't blame you though for deciding its better not to sully yourself by 'putting the record straight' .

I think you need to adjust your spectacles - there are two subjects being discussed: the accuracy of the article, and the question of whether sinsot was returned to the groom. I've explained why I won't be answering the latter, and correcting the various factual errors in the article would not sully me in any way, but similarly confers no benefit. I am presently content with the amount of information about my private life which has become public, and have no desire to refine it to the point where it may become useful to someone with malicious intent.

Contrary to your own view, participating in civil and social customs and activities is appreciated in most cultures, and Thailand is no different in that respect. People who have some appreciation for the way in which "networking" (to use the Western expression) operates in Thailand can easily grasp that a wedding is an ideal venue for enriching ones' circle of contacts. Without trying to big-note myself, I'm more than satisfied with the outcome of my function in that respect.

[pwm]

To be completely serious.

Considering the amount of money you spent on her 'big day', she didn't look all that happy.

Personally, I would have been disappointed.

In prior comments, you've stated that you think my wife is unattractive, compared her to an elephant, somehow decided I'm American, and expressed with confidence that Thai women are comfortable with public displays of affection. Given that you have no idea how much money was spent on our "big day", and that this would have no bearing on the happiness of anyone with some substance, I'm quite comfortable dismissing your opinion of her degree of happiness based upon a 3.5 minute video of a day-long event.

I think that people who believe that money should buy happiness are often disappointed.

[ludditeman]

To be completely serious.

Considering the amount of money you spent on her 'big day', she didn't look all that happy.

Personally, I would have been disappointed.

In prior comments, you've stated that you think my wife is unattractive, compared her to an elephant, somehow decided I'm American, and expressed with confidence that Thai women are comfortable with public displays of affection. Given that you have no idea how much money was spent on our "big day", and that this would have no bearing on the happiness of anyone with some substance, I'm quite comfortable dismissing your opinion of her degree of happiness based upon a 3.5 minute video of a day-long event.

I think that people who believe that money should buy happiness are often disappointed.

1) If we all thought the same woman was attractive, 1 would be busy, the others would be lonely.

2) Compared her favourably to an elephant, so a back-handed compliment.

3) Microsoft employee = American, sorry for the stereotyping, but an understandable mistake.

4) Most Thai women under the age of 45 have 'moved forward', and are faily happy with PDAs.

5) It's nice that at least one of you was happy on that day.

(learn Thai and you will understand more about the culture both past and present, and increase your chances of a successful marriage)

Edited January 16, 2012 by ludditeman

[pwm]

1) If we all thought the same woman was attractive, 1 would be busy, the others would be lonely.

2) Compared her favourably to an elephant, so a back-handed compliment.

No further comments on the insufficient expression of matrimonial bliss (in your opinion)? In any case, I accept your contorted apology for insulting my wife.

4) Most Thai women under the age of 45 have 'moved forward', and are faily happy with PDAs.

I disagree with you regarding Thai women and PDAs. As in any society, there are forces at work in Thailand that evolve and weaken traditional taboos, however there are many who retain their respect for their family and cultural ties and traditions, and do not simply become different people because they are exposed to alternatives. I, for one, cherish the modesty and demureness of the Thai women I know, all of whom are uncomfortable with anything more than holding hands in public (and for all the Thai couples I know, even that is too much).

(learn Thai and you will understand more about the culture both past and present, and increase your chances of a successful marriage)

Given you didn't notice that it plainly says I'm Australian in the linked article, I think you should probably take your own advice on learning Thai before you make incorrect assumptions about my language skills. It's actually quite interesting that your previous comments on this thread include those of your own wife/partner, apparently expressing a positive view of my function, while yours are almost exclusively critical or negative. Perhaps you're not the right person to be providing marriage guidance?

[ludditeman]

I disagree with you regarding Thai women and PDAs. As in any society, there are forces at work in Thailand that evolve and weaken traditional taboos, however there are many who retain their respect for their family and cultural ties and traditions, and do not simply become different people because they are exposed to alternatives. I, for one, cherish the modesty and demureness of the Thai women I know, all of whom are uncomfortable with anything more than holding hands in public (and for all the Thai couples I know, even that is too much).

I know many Thais both at small rural village level and big city types.

Women over 50 (and single women over 40) mostly seem to be the disapproving of PDA types, but then understandable as they were all sold to their husbands, for money or the social advancement of their families. The younger women I know who make no PDAs pretty much don't like their husbands, but have settled for the family arrangements with no love lost on either side.

As to which one of us doesn't understand the culture, I hope it is me and that I am wrong on all levels of my understanding.

You being Australian, good luck with your future, coming from a country that appears to penalise men upon divorce, more than any other country I know of, you will need it.

As Chris Rock says, pre-nups are for the middle classes, if you are rich, losing half of a $20M income doesn't affect your lifestyle that much, if you are middle-class, losing half of a $50k income will really hurt.

Edited January 16, 2012 by ludditeman

[trevorg]

pwm - Well done for posting and congratulations on your marriage, as you say you probably spent $1000's less on the wedding than you would/ could have done in the west and sinsot or any other similar practice is up to the individuals/couples/ families involved and nobody else's business! (Didn't it used to be traditional for the bride's father to pay for the wedding in the West?). Too many cynics on certain parts of this forum! Good luck for the future!

Edited January 16, 2012 by trevorg

[norrona]

I think that people who believe that money should buy happiness are often disappointed.

so are your in-laws dissapointed with their lot then?

on a more pleasent and serious note, best of luck for your future

[lovelaos]

This thread has just got interesting. Let's see how many 'haters' will be back now the man in question is here to defend himself.

I guess most of the 'haters' are penniless, jealous, insecure types we all see being dragged around Tescos with that distant blank expression.

Good luck with your new life pwm.

[ludditeman]

This thread has just got interesting. Let's see how many 'haters' will be back now the man in question is here to defend himself.

I think you mean the person 'claiming' to be the groom!

Edited January 16, 2012 by ludditeman

[zzaa09]

This thread has just got interesting. Let's see how many 'haters' will be back now the man in question is here to defend himself.

I think you mean the person 'claiming' to be the groom!

Yep. We don't know who is who.

But then, if it is the gentlemen in question, have to extend some kudos for having some <deleted> to coming around and participating within this [expected] harsh and cynical inter-exchange.

As we all know, the world of private and public has become a thin edge.

[StreetCowboy]

This thread has just got interesting. Let's see how many 'haters' will be back now the man in question is here to defend himself.

I think you mean the person 'claiming' to be the groom!

"I'm Brian, and so's my wife!"

[janverbeem]

This thread has just got interesting. Let's see how many 'haters' will be back now the man in question is here to defend himself.

I guess most of the 'haters' are penniless, jealous, insecure types we all see being dragged around Tescos with that distant blank expression.

Good luck with your new life pwm.

Uhmm,seems that the computer business is aging their employees quickly as the groom was 5 years younger only a year ago.

http://www.thaivisa....ost__p__3334952

Also din't know that microsoft was a Canadian company.

http://www.thaivisa....ost__p__2625139

PWM,which bridge was that you were living under?

Edited January 16, 2012 by janverbeem

[pwm]

Uhmm,seems that the computer business is aging their employees quickly as the groom was 5 years younger only a year ago.

http://www.thaivisa....ost__p__3334952

Also din't know that microsoft was a Canadian company.

http://www.thaivisa....ost__p__2625139

PWM,which bridge was that you were living under?

If you'd been paying attention, you'd have noticed that I've already commented on the many factual errors in the published articles, specifically mentioning the ages of myself and my wife! Similarly, if you'd bothered to read the thread, you'd have noticed that others have also confirmed there's no significant Microsoft presence in Phuket, which should have led you to the conclusion that perhaps that part of the reporting was also inaccurate. I'm surprised it's taken so long for someone such as yourself to discover that I do not in fact work for Microsoft at all, as the evidence was readily available, but it's also quite likely that others detected the fact and didn't automatically develop their own conspiracy theories.

I have no idea if you're being deliberately dense, or just didn't bother to read before writing, but your assumption that I'd respond to a thread such as this if it wasn't my own wedding being described is deranged.

In the interests of shutting up those who doubt that I am the person described in the press, I've attached a photo of a proof of my wedding invitation. I'm sure those of you desperate enough can dream up a way in which I might have faked or obtained such a thing, but I'm fairly confident such irrational theories don't pass Occham's razor, and I won't be responding to them.

I won't be holding my breath waiting for the contrition.

[ludditeman]

I have no idea if you're being deliberately dense, or just didn't bother to read before writing, but your assumption that I'd respond to a thread such as this if it wasn't my own wedding being described is deranged.

In the interests of shutting up those who doubt that I am the person described in the press, I've attached a photo of a proof of my wedding invitation. I'm sure those of you desperate enough can dream up a way in which I might have faked or obtained such a thing, but I'm fairly confident such irrational theories don't pass Occham's razor, and I won't be responding to them.

I won't be holding my breath waiting for the contrition.

1) Many foreigners in Thailand are actually deranged (some like to put on a dog and pony show for the locals).

2) She looks much prettier in that photo, your hair needs to be changed though!

Edited January 17, 2012 by ludditeman

[pwm]

But then, if it is the gentlemen in question, have to extend some kudos for having some <deleted> to coming around and participating within this [expected] harsh and cynical inter-exchange.

It does not take <deleted> to post on a web forum to anonymous armchair heroes, just patience. Similarly, it takes no courage and little to no aptitude whatsoever to post cynical fantasies or outlandish conspiracy theories in the first place.

Why does the happy event of a wedding bring out such fear & loathing on this web forum? [don't answer that]

[pwm]

1) Many foreigners in Thailand are actually deranged (some like to put on a dog and pony show for the locals).

You think celebrating a wedding is a "dog and pony show for the locals"? I suspect you're nearly alone with that idea (although maybe not in the weird world of TV), and from the sound of it, your wife/partner doesn't agree with you either.

2) She looks much prettier in that photo, your hair needs to be changed though!

Is it fair to interpret this comment as "I apologise for doubting that you are the groom referred to in this thread"? Otherwise, I'm not interested in your opinions of my wife's (or my) appearance. You've expressed enough opinions on this thread alone to ensure they're given sufficient weighting in my mind.

[ludditeman]

1) Many foreigners in Thailand are actually deranged (some like to put on a dog and pony show for the locals).

You think celebrating a wedding is a "dog and pony show for the locals"? .........

It depends on the number of elephants!

[samran]

But then, if it is the gentlemen in question, have to extend some kudos for having some <deleted> to coming around and participating within this [expected] harsh and cynical inter-exchange.

It does not take <deleted> to post on a web forum to anonymous armchair heroes, just patience. Similarly, it takes no courage and little to no aptitude whatsoever to post cynical fantasies or outlandish conspiracy theories in the first place.

Why does the happy event of a wedding bring out such fear & loathing on this web forum? [don't answer that]

Welcome to Thai Visa then!

I know that I can be a cynic, but I'm happy that I kept my cynicism confined to the news article on this one. Though I stand by my statment of potentially looking miserable doing a jig down the street in 35 degree heat....I hate dancing.

[BookMan]

To be completely serious.

Considering the amount of money you spent on her 'big day', she didn't look all that happy.

Personally, I would have been disappointed.

In prior comments, you've stated that you think my wife is unattractive, compared her to an elephant, somehow decided I'm American, and expressed with confidence that Thai women are comfortable with public displays of affection. Given that you have no idea how much money was spent on our "big day", and that this would have no bearing on the happiness of anyone with some substance, I'm quite comfortable dismissing your opinion of her degree of happiness based upon a 3.5 minute video of a day-long event.

I think that people who believe that money should buy happiness are often disappointed.

1) If we all thought the same woman was attractive, 1 would be busy, the others would be lonely.

2) Compared her favourably to an elephant, so a back-handed compliment.

3) Microsoft employee = American, sorry for the stereotyping, but an understandable mistake.

4) Most Thai women under the age of 45 have 'moved forward', and are faily happy with PDAs.

5) It's nice that at least one of you was happy on that day.

(learn Thai and you will understand more about the culture both past and present, and increase your chances of a successful marriage)

Just saying "Sorry, I was out of line" is sometimes simpler.

[pwm]

I know that I can be a cynic, but I'm happy that I kept my cynicism confined to the news article on this one. Though I stand by my statment of potentially looking miserable doing a jig down the street in 35 degree heat....I hate dancing.

And your comments were entirely accurate, which is why I didn't bother responding. It was quite hot (although the foreigners were largely Aussies and can handle it), and given the precise time of arrival at the house, and large number of people (not to mention two elephants) in the kan mak procession, they had to stop several times and sweat it out, while attempting to appear happy about it! Encouraging them to dance was about as much as I was able to do - forcing them to put on a smile at the same time might have provoked a rebellion.

In any case, after an hour dancing in the sun, they all felt much better when they were able to negotiate an exchange of refreshing beverages for their banana/sugar cane and a shady spot once at the house.

Fortunately, the hot dancing part was all over and done with fairly early, with the rest of the celebration and party going on under shade or indoors.

[samran]

I know that I can be a cynic, but I'm happy that I kept my cynicism confined to the news article on this one. Though I stand by my statment of potentially looking miserable doing a jig down the street in 35 degree heat....I hate dancing.

And your comments were entirely accurate, which is why I didn't bother responding. It was quite hot (although the foreigners were largely Aussies and can handle it), and given the precise time of arrival at the house, and large number of people (not to mention two elephants) in the kan mak procession, they had to stop several times and sweat it out, while attempting to appear happy about it! Encouraging them to dance was about as much as I was able to do - forcing them to put on a smile at the same time might have provoked a rebellion.

In any case, after an hour dancing in the sun, they all felt much better when they were able to negotiate an exchange of refreshing beverages for their banana/sugar cane and a shady spot once at the house.

Fortunately, the hot dancing part was all over and done with fairly early, with the rest of the celebration and party going on under shade or indoors.

When my parents got married in Australia in the early 70's, cause a Thai-Aust marriage was such a novelty the local rag covered it, including the line of my mother calling her parents back in 'Bangalore' instead of 'Bangkok'. So much for accuracy in journalism.

If you had known the article was going to turn out that way, you should have given yourself titles and better JD's.

All the best.

Edited January 17, 2012 by samran

[Briggsy]

Best of luck to "pwm". Judging by his posts, luck has little to do with it. He clearly knows what he is doing and where he is going. I'm sure the cynics and haters on here are like water off a duck's back to him.

[buggerlugs]

What a cynical lot we all are.Some of us have spent too long here methinks.

Can't argue with the truth however.

When I asked my "missus" if she wanted to get married and have a big party in the village etc she said 'No,, Better I wait and not get stuck with you"

Can't fault her logic.

[zzaa09]

What a cynical lot we all are.Some of us have spent too long here methinks.

Can't argue with the truth however.

When I asked my "missus" if she wanted to get married and have a big party in the village etc she said 'No,, Better I wait and not get stuck with you"

Can't fault her logic.

Your better half sounds as if she is well-founded and square up!

Good for her and good for you, mate!

[Sing_Sling]

Why does Ludditeman seem so angry with the whole thing and why does he become aggressive when confronted with the man in question?

pwm seems too balanced to fall into the category of Caucasian loser marries bargirl and is unhappy.

Congratulations, pwm.

[ludditeman]

Why does Ludditeman seem so angry with the whole thing and why does he become aggressive when confronted with the man in question?

pwm seems too balanced to fall into the category of Caucasian loser marries bargirl and is unhappy.

Congratulations, pwm.

1) I'm not sure which most I made that seemed 'angry'? (or even unreasonable in any way)

Can you help me out here? (I've found the whole circus amusing yet sad)

2) The relationship failure usually comes later, after the buffalo runs short of readies, will this be the same story, only time will tell.

Edited January 19, 2012 by ludditeman

[zzaa09]

Why does Ludditeman seem so angry with the whole thing and why does he become aggressive when confronted with the man in question?

pwm seems too balanced to fall into the category of Caucasian loser marries bargirl and is unhappy.

Congratulations, pwm.

1) I'm not sure which most I made that seemed 'angry'? (or even unreasonable in any way)

Can you help me out here? (I've found the whole circus amusing yet sad)

2) The relationship failure usually comes later, after the buffalo runs short of readies, will this be the same story, only time will tell.

[ludditeman]

Be sure to pop over to this thread

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/270175-mee-and-my-dad/

and see how their dream wedding ended, they have a video too!