How Do You Cope/Plan To Cope In Thailand When 70+

[Lenthai]

YOU ARE AS OLD AS YOU FEEL

[Ulysses G.]

[in my experience of living here - on and off - since the mid seventies, (maybe around 20 years in all), I have found Thais no better and no worse than any other race of people.

I concur.

[harrry]

YOU ARE AS OLD AS YOU FEEL

Or the woman you feel.

[Colabamumbai]

My dream is to die on the top of a snow-packed mountain, with a syringe of China White to help me along. Having a bunch of people sitting around the room, cleaning up after me would be an unacceptable nightmare for all involved, and I would never consider burdening them that way. Life is too short. So I will have to go home (Colorado) as there are no mountains and no snow here in LOS. But, knock on wood, that is still 30 years away.

Like you I would like to control the way and the time that I go, failing that, medicate myself with O for a painless ending.

[jayceenik]

There are a couple nursing homes in PTY :

http://nursingresort....wordpress.com/

http://www.retiremen...e-thailand.com/

Me, I'm 73 and going strong. No health problems whatsoever.

Just had to cut down on food (avoid getting fat), and Chang (8/night seems to be my comfortable max).

Libido has slowed down too but I still very much enjoy beerbar girls' company <snip>. I just spent a few months with a live-in sexy 25-yo.

I've seen many documentaries (on TV5) on old people's homes in Switzerland. Not for me.

I think I'll pull the plug at 85 or so.

But so far so good. I'm enjoying my way of life and I plan to keep on living it in Pattaya and BKK until I decide it's time to go to the great GoGo bar in the sky.

BTW, for those farangs in LOS who want to go but shy off suicide what they can do is tell their teerak that they have subscribed a big life insurance policy naming her as beneficiary ...

Edited January 29, 2012 by soundman
Specifics of prostitution.

[trihent]

Maybe Thai Visa should open a new 'Oldies' sub forum, where we can discuss issue such as our own methods of warding off Altzheimer's..

Good Idea:

On the other hoof I know of an expat retirement home in Prasat (Surin) and will advise if asked

[KeyserSoze01]

Another harsh reality is that it is a rare Thai wife that will administer it.....mine says she won't even if I am in severe pain....Buddah don't like that, he wants us to suffer. and would she be able to research the tricks if improvising palliatave care and hospice?? again, I know that mine wouldn't be capable of it and she has a college degree.

Scary thought.

[tombkk]

Another harsh reality is that it is a rare Thai wife that will administer it.....mine says she won't even if I am in severe pain....Buddah don't like that, he wants us to suffer. and would she be able to research the tricks if improvising palliatave care and hospice?? again, I know that mine wouldn't be capable of it and she has a college degree.

Scary thought.

I agree. Isn't being together all about growing old together and taking care of each other?

And Buddha certainly didn't say he wants us to suffer, more to the contrary. What a cold-hearted woman.

[rmacdon61]

I will just hope for the best as I have always done. There is a place for old farangs to stay when they can not take care of themselves in Chiang Mai that is getting good reports and it is not too expensive, so that is always an option.

Sounds depressing and lonely....

Often called "God's Waiting Room".

[tombkk]

A referral to an illegal hard drug and the replies have been removed.

[TheKeeNok]

A Thai takes care for somenbody who is family OR pays sufficiently for all is my experience since I started to do business there in 1977.

YOU think there are Thai's who will take care for you when you do NOT have sufficient finances at a certain age ? Or.. when your mental situation is, you have to give her / him full attorney over your bank account? My idea: it will not be "cleand off" and you are put outside, or at the max 50 mtrs away from your embassy !

Thailand is a nice country if your fysical situation and your bank acount are still fit enough. Without bnoth.. better NOT to be on the mercy of the Thais.

Remind: as farang you have only one right: to leave your money there as quick as possible, and then.. leave !

I would actually take issue with this.

In my experience of living here - on and off - since the mid seventies, (maybe around 20 years in all), I have found Thais no better and no worse than any other race of people.

There are evil, money grabbing, selfish, uncaring people everywhere, and I suggest that if you reside in a redlight district or in an area which has a preponderance of foreign, mainly wealthy tourists in any country, then you will encounter a similar bunch of conmen and criminals.

Some years back, I used to know a Brit in his 80's, quite infirm, who lived in a small room in Prakanong, Bangkok on extremely limited income. His only income was a UK pension that had been frozen over 20 years ago, and even then he hadn't qualified for the full amount.

He had no wife but I was quite amazed to find that there were several Thais - in particular one middle aged lady, who did what they could for him. They had known of him in better days and hadn't deserted him when he was in his final years. They were not wealthy Thais but they came by regularly to clean his room and feed him and take him out occasionally. It was quite touching to see.

This is by no means the only example of Thais - often with little themselves - who have reached out to farangs in distress. Thais can be very compassionate and are always helping each other and occasionally they will help a foreigner who is in distress or has fallen upon hard times.

I have even been helped myself by complete strangers during my drinking days when I have had accidents,or when I have run into spot of bother.

In fact I would go as far as to say that Thais are more likely to put their hands out to a stranger in trouble - Thai or foreigner - than their counterparts in the west. Most westerners just refuse to get involved and walk away when someone has a problem.

True.An English co-worker once told me how me hewas virtually broke, family problems. He was in a taxi and telling his woes to the driver. The driver tookpitty on him and gave him 200bht!

On my very first visits to Pattaya I found myself without cash outside of a bar after closing time. My buddy had wandered off and was robbed at knife point! Came back to the hotel the next morning! Well, I there with no means back to the hotel.but a bar girl simply handed me 100bht?(was awhile ago)

Anohter time a "friend" gave me 15K and NEVER asked for it back! Granted she did hail from a wealthy family.

There are some very kool Thais!

[jaideeguy]

Agree that this thread could be handy as a pinned topic maybe in the health subforum altho it deserves it's own forum.......up to the mods, but there a lot of us out there it seems that are starting to look at the realities of aging in LOS. When the realities of my father's passing last year were still fresh in my mind, I started a thread in the health forum and there was a bit of discussion. I will try to find it again, but the search function on TV is sometimes lacking.

To more accurately quote my wife's statement re: Buddah and suffering.....she said that Buddah says that we have to complete our suffering here in this life or we take it to the next life to suffer more. I say.....what if there is no next life?? and I don't wanna suffer or have someone have to clean up my mess when and if I get to that point.

I see daily how the Thais care for their elderly in my mooban in the rice fields and old folks are just left sitting under the house or often next to the road staring blankly while the world goes by.

And there is a semi retirement/old age/dementia facility up here in CM......http://www.mckeanhosp.org/#!__dok-kaew-gardens

I did visit it when it was just getting started and spoke with the head administrator [beth] and got a tour and was quite impressed by the reasonable cost and facilities available. May be worth a check for someone without family......but any facility, someone will need someone to check on the care of the patient. At least Dok kaew is managed by falangs....but they do lean towards the Christian side.

The most important thing to consider [in my experience with my father] is to have a competant person to manage the situation whether it be at home or at a facility....especially if it is at a hospital and that's when my faithful Thai wife would fall short, I'm afraid, as her knowlege of medical matters is lacking and the Buddhist way would prevail.

Then, there is the funeral.......We will have no control over the 3 ring circus that a Thai funeral is and it will drain funds for your survivors.....My father's passing was proof of that and our beliefs [or lack of] were just disrespectfully brushed off and I ended up spending a week of misery surrounded by strangers and monks when I just wanted to quietly grieve in privacy.....not the Thai way.

[jaideeguy]

FYI.....here's a link to another discussion on this topic that may be of interest to some......

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/465346-dying-in-los/

[TallGuyJohninBKK]

It's certainly true that people in general are living longer these days... But it's also true that the end is going to come for everyone sooner or later, no doubt about that.

It's great to hear about the 70+ folks who are doing well here...and the various comments along the line of "you're as young as you feel." But not everyone gets to have those kinds of choices.

I had an otherwise healthy family member who developed an uncurable, basically untreatable neurological condition in her 50s that left her unable to walk and mostly confined to a wheelchair and/or bed for the final 30 years of her life.

As things gradually progressed and worsened in the final 10 years of her life before dying in her early 80s, she basically needed almost 24 hour care at home... not really nurse and doctor type care, but home caregiver type care, because she was reliant on others for almost everything, including bathroom needs.

Very fortunately, she had a committed spouse who took care of her all those years, and who had the financial ability to do the things that were necessary and eventually hire the home health care workers to support her when he, due to his own advancing age and her declining condition, could no longer do it himself alone.

Now, what if that happened to you and you were living in Thailand? No one really knows what kind of hand life is going to deal you in your latter years.

[TallGuyJohninBKK]

On the other hoof I know of an expat retirement home in Prasat (Surin) and will advise if asked

OK... I'm asking... Please post some info on it and/or a web link for the place. I'm sure others would want to know as well.

[Spee]

I'm mid-fifties and not looking to retire anytime before age 70, if at all, but with every passing year the meaning of the thread has a little more relevance. Haven't read the last couple of pages, but for those with western benefits, such as social security, medicare, etc. (while they last anyway), my suggestion is to not lose touch with your home country and benefits you may have earned from a lifetime of work. I don't plan on retiring to Thailand full time. My wife and I have spoken about spending half the year in the US and half the year in Thailand, although a lot will depend on her daughter's progress through high school and college, and where she ends up. If I die in Thailand, my wife is to have me cremated and put on a shelf in the local temple. If in the US, then donate my body to science. My biggest fear is that morally and financially bankrupt western governments will end up screwing retirees out of money and health benefits which have been promised. I don't ever want to end up in a retirement home where someone other than family to care for me. I don't expect to live past my 70's because of complications from earlier health problems, but if of when the time comes that I'm unable to work any longer, I have faith that my wife will take care of me.

[bendejo]

Hopefully I'll be like my dad. Up to age 89 he visited us here in Khon Kaen every year. He even climbed the 9-levels of Wat Nong Waen on his last visit. Then he said he didn't like the long flight so didn't come. Still active in the UK though. He had a massive stroke 10 days ago and died at 5am our time today aged 92 and a half. So from active to dead in ten days. I could cope with that. We fly back to UK on Thursday.

My condolences. But sounds like he was lucid and mobile right up to the end, which is what I wish for myself.

I'm not afraid of death, but it's stuff like having artificial knee/hip joints, incontinence, being out if it etc that give me the creeps.

[IMA_FARANG]

You won't take this too seriously I hope....but here's a Zen Buddhist story that somehow seems to apply.

A senior Zen nun was growing old, and she thought her time was near.

So she instructed all the monk's to make a great pile of wood outside, and soak the edges of that pile with gasoline.

Then, climbing to the top of the pile, she seated herself comfortably there.

Giving instructions to the monk's to set fire to the gasoline, the nun began to meditate.

As the wood began to blaze the nun continued to quietly meditate.

Unable to watch it any longer, one of the monks yelled,"Oh Nun, how can you be so quiet? Isn't that fire burning hot?"

Interupting her meditation, she said to the monk, "Poor fool, such a minor thing as that would only bother an ignorant fool such as yourself."

Then the flames rose up, and she was gone.

Now don't take that to seriously, it's just a story.

[IMA_FARANG]

Maybe Thai Visa should open a new 'Oldies' sub forum, where we can discuss issue such as our own methods of warding off Altzheimer's..

This IS my way of warding of Altzheimer's

(Well, actually it's only one of several)

[bendejo]

...

And Buddha certainly didn't say he wants us to suffer, more to the contrary. What a cold-hearted woman.

These things tend to get turned around, in the same way that Christianity has a lot in it that is just the opposite of what JC preached.

I knew a woman who was raised in an orphanage in China (pre-Mao), and the people there told her if she wasn't a good girl the "Lady Buddha" was going to get her.

[KeyserSoze01]

I will just hope for the best as I have always done. There is a place for old farangs to stay when they can not take care of themselves in Chiang Mai that is getting good reports and it is not too expensive, so that is always an option.

Sounds depressing and lonely....

Often called "God's Waiting Room".

I thought that was the coconut bar in Pattaya.

[lovelomsak]

My plan is simple when I get to a point were taking car of myself is a problem I simply hire a caregiver to move into my home here in Thailand and take care of me.Pay her an bove average salary and hope she does a decent job.

[Naam]

My plan is simple when I get to a point were taking car of myself is a problem I simply hire a caregiver to move into my home here in Thailand and take care of me.Pay her an bove average salary and hope she does a decent job.

who will manage your money in case you will be mentally handicapped?

[Old Croc]

FYI.....here's a link to another discussion on this topic that may be of interest to some......

http://www.thaivisa....6-dying-in-los/

Thanks for the link Jaideeguy. Basically the same subject, but obviously getting a lot more exposure in "General' rather than "Health".

Who said 'General' was dying?

[Naam]

I have not seen anyone address the problem of wheelchairs. If your older age meant some sort of leg disability, could you stay in Thailand? The footpaths are dangerous enough for pedestrians, how would you manage in a wheelchair?

i live in the outskirts of Pattaya, don't go too often downtown but have seen over the years quite some people in wheelchairs without being accompanied by any caretaker.

[Naam]

Stop worrying about it ,at 73 ,life is as good and as interesting as it was 15 years ago.

I gave up booze about 8 years ago, still smoke 2 packs a day as I have done for the last 60 years,work 10 hours a day on the farm ,holiday in Cambo 2-3 times ayear, still wear the large gold ear-ring that has been there for 50 years.

Just think and act young,age is nothing but a number.

I have outlived all my close relatives (and most of my friends)so when I eventually kick over the traces LOS is as good a place as any to do it.

Besides they just gave me another 5 year plus on my drivers licence so I cant waste it.

[jaideeguy]

My plan is simple when I get to a point were taking car of myself is a problem I simply hire a caregiver to move into my home here in Thailand and take care of me.Pay her an bove average salary and hope she does a decent job.

who will manage your money in case you will be mentally handicapped?

Yes.....that's the big question. If you are married to a Thai woman, chances are likely she is not the best money manager [no offense to those married to a thrifty Thai Chinese] and you could find your funds drained without even knowing it.

With my father's advancing age and dementia, he became incapable of managing his finances and luckily I was there and even without Thai POA, we managed even though his costs were increasing along with his deterioration. People with dementia are mostly in denial and often paranoid and delusional and on several occasions my father falsely accused all of us who were his 'caregiving army' with his best interests at heart.

Dementia is a devil of aging that we often are not prepared for and takes it's toll on those care giving. And with dementia, would you remember where you left your 'china white'?? or even what to do with it??

I guess you could pre arrange a trusted relative to distribute funds as needed if you are living off savings and small income and investments that are stagnant and could shrink further??

food for thought........

Edited January 30, 2012 by jaideeguy

[chiangmaibruce]

My plan is simple when I get to a point were taking car of myself is a problem I simply hire a caregiver to move into my home here in Thailand and take care of me.Pay her an bove average salary and hope she does a decent job.

Good in theory but in practise it's taking a big risk. Some time ago I had a chat with the Australian Honorary Council here in Chiang Mai about various issues, and the conversation moved to some of the types of problems he was asked to try to sort out. One of the more common ones was old Aussies either just losing the plot and losing/wasting their money, or getting ripped off by 'carers' (using that term very loosely) ... this sometimes happening to the same guy more than once ... with family in farangland having to bail them out.

[cmsally]

My plan is simple when I get to a point were taking car of myself is a problem I simply hire a caregiver to move into my home here in Thailand and take care of me.Pay her an bove average salary and hope she does a decent job.

Good in theory but in practise it's taking a big risk. Some time ago I had a chat with the Australian Honorary Council here in Chiang Mai about various issues, and the conversation moved to some of the types of problems he was asked to try to sort out. One of the more common ones was old Aussies either just losing the plot and losing/wasting their money, or getting ripped off by 'carers' (using that term very loosely) ... this sometimes happening to the same guy more than once ... with family in farangland having to bail them out.

Funny you should mention that. I was in one of the big banks in CM one day and one of the staff noticed an older farang gentleman come in with a couple of Thais. She told me without being too specific he was brought in by one Thai man and sometimes a Thai lady. Apparently he had been withdrawing large amounts of cash, let's just say much more than average pensioner could dispose of. She asked me my opinion. I told her that if she was really concerned and had a bad feeling about it, that something was wrong, she should contact the Australian consul here (she told me he was Aussie). I wonder if that was the same guy.

[harrry]

I have not seen anyone address the problem of wheelchairs. If your older age meant some sort of leg disability, could you stay in Thailand? The footpaths are dangerous enough for pedestrians, how would you manage in a wheelchair?

i live in the outskirts of Pattaya, don't go too often downtown but have seen over the years quite some people in wheelchairs without being accompanied by any caretaker.

Wheelchairs are not the end of life. In fact I gained more mobility with one than before I used one. There are places you can go and places you cannot but you can still live a very very good (or bad) life.

Electric wheelchairs here may not be the answer. You may get more mobility with a standard chair and hiring someone to push it.

In Naams case he can hitch one to his fluffy dogs.