Craig1981 Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Hi, I really need your advice on this one and I know you have all probably heard this before. In October of last year I went on a holiday to Thailand. I met a girl over there that I really do have strong feelings for. We are both 30 years old. At the time she was living in Pattaya but she now lives back on her farm with her parents (yes I know what you are all thinking at this point but read on). I know this is true because I am good friends with the owners of the bar she was working at and I had some of her clothes in my suitcase that I mailed to her new address. Ok here is my story, my first night in Thailand I spent with her, I thought wow she is actually I nice chick I want to see her again. Then I remembered what my friend said “Do not spend more than one night with the same girl, they will sink there hooks in and take your money that’s all they are after”. So I left it at that and spent the next seven days with many different girls. After my seven days of intense butterflying I finally realised that the girl on my first night was actually different to all the other girls I was with. So I barfined her for the night and the next day I ended up barfining her for the remainder of the trip. Only she did not want my money for herself, she just wanted the cash to pay the barfine (4500bht 10days). On the day I was leaving I felt so guilty about her not accepting my money that I tried giving her many times but she would not accept she just kept saying “ I not want your money, I just like being with you, you are nice person”. So I ended up just buying her a nice present before I left which she loved. I arrived home the next day and I was trying not to think of her but I couldn’t she would call me on a daily basis and I would do the same. I have dated many girls over the years and not had feelings like I have for her, very strange considering I am not really attracted to Thai girls. I was actually in Pattaya staying at the Fairtex Resort for my Muay Thai training. I had no intentions of falling for a Thai girl. Now this is where my dilemma starts…… My problem is I was only with her for 10 days before I returned home from my holiday. I had feelings for her and I did not want her to work in the bar anymore, so I sent her 20,000bht and she paid the bar 8000bht to release her from working there (this is true because I spoke with my friend and owner of the bar and asked how much I needed to give him). But when I returned to Pattaya in January I found out that she was with another man during the time I had sent her the money. I have seen photos from a friend of hers; she did not want me to find out. She tells me that she is sorry and she was only with him because she felt I would not be back to see her again. She said this happened to her before . I am now 100% certain that she is not in contact with the other man; she even has a new phone number, she wiped her phone clean and flushed her old sim down the toilet, I was with her when she done this. She is now living back at her farm with her family. I am good friends with the owner of the bar and his wife, they would tell me if she was back in town or in contact with another man. I really feel that she does want to be with me and she genuinely does love me. I am currently off work due to an injury and she even offered to send me money. She has money saved and is building her new house so I don't think money is really her motive but I could be wrong. I know if I leave her I will never find another girl like her, but I don’t want to be with her and thinking about the past also. Should I stay with her? Will the pain of the past eventually go away? I really need your advice, I know forums are not the best places to ask for advice but I really have no one to talk to about this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bendix Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Ok . who wants to kick this one off. I don't have the energy, I'm afraid. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baboon Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 What advice would you offer me if I started this thread? There`s your answer surely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
necronx99 Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Ok . who wants to kick this one off. I don't have the energy, I'm afraid. Oh, c'mon, he may have well as started it with "Dear Bendix"... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soutpeel Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Ok . who wants to kick this one off. I don't have the energy, I'm afraid. Me Neither...but to pick up on a couple of facts " I was only with her for 10 days" "so I sent her 20,000bht and she paid the bar 8000bht to release her from working there" "Pattaya in January I found out that she was with another man during the time I had sent her the money" In conclusion...Run Rabbit, run rabbit...run run run 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supaprik Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Oh Man.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dukeboxer Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Ha,ha,ha!!!! You're falling the the typical game. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
necronx99 Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Ok . who wants to kick this one off. I don't have the energy, I'm afraid. Me Neither...but to pick up on a couple of facts " I was only with her for 10 days" "so I sent her 20,000bht and she paid the bar 8000bht to release her from working there" "Pattaya in January I found out that she was with another man during the time I had sent her the money" In conclusion...Run Rabbit, run rabbit...run run run You don't understand. This is both traditional and customary behaviour here. You are never going to enjoy your time here if you don't give up your native ways and embrace Thai (Pattaya) culture and customs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Soutpeel Posted February 23, 2012 Popular Post Share Posted February 23, 2012 (edited) Oh Man.... Maybe the OP wants to hear the following: Yes...your onto a keeper, she is obviously in love with you after a whole ten days, do not be alarmed when she wants you to buy her car, and finance the family home in Issan, she is your soul mate, you will together for ever, If the Sin sot comes in THB 2.0million, do not be alarmed...this is a fair price, but you must also buy 20 baht of gold as well for the MIL.... Oh and forgot to add...dont for get the free ATM cards handed out to your new family, so they can dip into your account when they are a little short on funds for the lao Kho or playing cards LOl Edited February 23, 2012 by Soutpeel 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Semper Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 But when I returned to Pattaya in January I found out that she was with another man during the time I had sent her the money What did you expect? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caliguy Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Ok . who wants to kick this one off. I don't have the energy, I'm afraid. lol me too. I'm just tired of repeating myself. It doesn't work anyway! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carib Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Did the Op ever notice her taking medication...?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinfoilhat Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 the only thing that caught my attention is that your "friend" is pimping your "girlfriend". quality. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2unique Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 where is the money for this house building coming from? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevkev1888 Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Not sure how much of a friend the bar owner really is? 8000 to leave the bar? this is BS touted to get farangs to open their wallet, 100's of girls leave their bars everyday, some move bars, go home, whatever. You can bet none of them are paying any money to leave. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jingjoe8 Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 without going down the line of every one else,the first thing you need to ask yourself is..what possible future can you have with her, will you move to thailand to live,you can't work here so need enough money to survive, will you bring her back to your country,do you have enough money to support her there to qualify for visa, if so,is she going to stay in your house all day bored shitless waiting for you to come back from work how well do thai girls go in a strange country with limited thai food,no thai soapies and limited thai friends, 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baboon Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 where is the money for this house building coming from? Where do you think? Rice sales of course.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinfoilhat Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Not sure how much of a friend the bar owner really is? 8000 to leave the bar? this is BS touted to get farangs to open their wallet, 100's of girls leave their bars everyday, some move bars, go home, whatever. You can bet none of them are paying any money to leave. indeed, that would be true were she to quit outright. If she wants to keep her job the rules are different however, in most bars, the barfines tend to defray the expense of the salary the girl is paid monthly with the expectation that the bar owner will basically make back her salary in barfines and drink commissions, after which she begins to make money over and above her basic salry. this is why most bars set a quota on bar fines per month, deducting from the salary if a girl fails to meet it. this may differ if the girl does other service like cashier or serving. Its great for the owners if a bar is successful like some of the bigger bars in nana etc -- it really keeps the overhead down. how else do you think they manage to keep 50 women on stage night after night? simple, the women pay their own salaries. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Semper Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Not sure how much of a friend the bar owner really is? 8000 to leave the bar? this is BS touted to get farangs to open their wallet, 100's of girls leave their bars everyday, some move bars, go home, whatever. You can bet none of them are paying any money to leave. Exactly. I thought slavery was abolished years ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo007 Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Shit you better stay in your own country! You have no idea about anything? Lost child Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Banzai99 Posted February 23, 2012 Popular Post Share Posted February 23, 2012 Not a bad attempt, but, best thing is to sign up make a few posts then leave that posting name for a few months or even a few years, then post a story like this, to do it 40 minutes after joining the forum is a bit of a giveaway. Nice work nevertheless. P.S. Whats your usual ThaiVisa name ? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocN Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 What a nice bunch of cynics you all are! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berkshire Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Geez, not another one. The OP appears to be rather trollish, but I'd like to make it a habit now to respond this way: Marry the girl. That's what the OP wants to do anyways. And how else will these guys ever learn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bendejo Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 She is now living back at her farm with her family. I am good friends with the owner of the bar and his wife, they would tell me if she was back in town or in contact with another man. I really feel that she does want to be with me and she genuinely does love me. I am currently off work due to an injury and she even offered to send me money. She has money saved and is building her new house so I don't think money is really her motive but I could be wrong. I will make an earnest attempt to curb my sarcasm. If she's living on the farm it means she has other chumps sending her checks. There is more than one bar in Pattaya, and there is the rest of Thailand as well. You have to be a fool to take the word of pimps bar owners. Ok, tell her you are out of work and broke. Tell her you need 20,000 baht or you will have to sleep out on the street come the first of March. Post back here telling what excuse she gave as to why she can't send you money. Hey, you came to Thailand, had a fantasy fling. Vacation's over. Ok, now back to normal attitude. SIM card flushed down the toilet? Now that's a true testament of love! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
englishinsiam Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 I run a website you might like www.phonecreditthailand.com you can send her money and phone credit nice and easy. Please pass the address on to her for her other sponsors. Posted with Thaivisa App http://apps.thaivisa.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ijustwannateach Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 I couldn't get past the word 'Pattaya'. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chops Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 That is seriously STUPID. Is the OP a major troll or what? On a side note, I can see how some guys could fool a bg into her thinking he "fell" for her and get freebies for the entire holiday. Haha! Done that before myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theblether Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 Get a grip on your in cynic and think to yourself, what is the correct word, dilemna? Or deluded? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
exeter Posted February 24, 2012 Share Posted February 24, 2012 Write off the money to exxperience, forget here and move on. You are not the first one this happened to although the circumstances are are very similar. The bottom line is they are in Pattaya for a reason and its not to get a tan! They get used to the lifestyle, the extra cash that some of us stump up and next week it will be someone else. I found a girl that was different too, until I opened her email account and found a lot other "me's" with letters asking for money for the "same problem as before." ( the password was 123456 ). Your head must be telling you this not your heart, sort it out and get over it, move on, life is short, your wallet will soon be empty. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petesear Posted February 24, 2012 Share Posted February 24, 2012 After my seven days of intense butterflying I finally realised that the girl on my first night was actually different to all the other girls I was with..... It only took you seven days? Oh, and how many times have you been to Thailand? Because 'butterfly' is a very Thai-bar word to use... You are a Troll... Or just stupid... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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