Crimes Against Thaivisa Members

[theblether]

There appears to be several subjects and posts which constantly recur and they have now morphed into effectively being crimes against Thaivisa members.

I propose we have a poll to decide which topics and posts can be defined as being Crimes Against Thaivisa Members, and possible suitable punishments.

I am no expert on all issues related to Thailand however I will put down an initial list of possible crimes, and I look forward to seeing your suggestions. Once we have gathered enough suggestions I suggest we ask a certain highly talented and amusing individual, and our resident Poll expert, to conduct said Poll. ( That expert being Jingthing ).

Once we have established the ten worst crimes I suggest we pin them so that we can refer new members to the list so that they can avoid undue flaming. So....I'll go first then you guys ( and ladies ) can follow on with your improvements and suggestions........

Crime 1............... Bringing up "Is farang racist" subject.

Punishment.........Being beaten to death.

Crime 2...............Being a member of the Good English police

Punishment.........Being forced to eat the Oxford Concise Dictionary

Crime 3...............Discussing British pension rights.

Punishment........Being put on a plane and sent back to the UK.

Crime 4..............Asking when will the Jetski scam end

Punishment.......Being forced to rent a Jetski every day, for a month.

Crime 5.............Asking " Am I gay if I like Ladyboys"

Punishment.......Ehm, I can't think of a punishment, you'll need to give me a hand here.

Crime 6.............Being in possession of an offensive personality.

Punishment......Guillotine

Crime 7............Asking why we are so cynical

Punishment.....Being forced to read all previous topics on the General Forum.

Crime 8...........Discussing immigration to the UK

Punishment.....Death, I don't care how, just death.

Crime 9...........Lacking a sense of irony and humour

Punishment....Banishment to Canada

Crime 10........Asking why young Thai ladies are attracted to older foreign men

Punishment....Incarceration in a secure unit.

Right, in no way is this an exhaustive list, it's only a start and I will leave it to my wise and humorous fellow members to add their thoughts and suggestions.

regards

theblether

[ozsamurai]

Crime; Sin Sot how much should I pay?

Punishment... everything you own, sucker!

[harrry]

Trolling from Scotland

Punishment being made to drink watered down American Whiskey and wear a sporan filled with lead.while performing Irish Jigs.

Edited March 4, 2012 by harrry

[theblether]

Your a bad boy Harry

[StreetCowboy]

QUOTE:

Crime 5.............Asking " Am I gay if I like Ladyboys"

Punishment.......Ehm, I can't think of a punishment, you'll need to give me a hand here

UNQUOTE

Tops!

It's the delivery. I'll bet some of our readers missed that one...

SC

[Backwoods]

QUOTE:

Crime 5.............Asking " Am I gay if I like Ladyboys"

Punishment.......Ehm, I can't think of a punishment, you'll need to give me a hand here

UNQUOTE

Tops!

It's the delivery. I'll bet some of our readers missed that one...

SC

Seen it, but wasn't getting involved with that one, just turn the other cheek!

[StreetCowboy]

QUOTE:

Crime 5.............Asking " Am I gay if I like Ladyboys"

Punishment.......Ehm, I can't think of a punishment, you'll need to give me a hand here

UNQUOTE

Tops!

It's the delivery. I'll bet some of our readers missed that one...

SC

Seen it, but wasn't getting involved with that one, just turn the other cheek!

I was worried it might go over some members' head.

I know I should have let it go, but I din;t want to turn my back. I didn't think I could just walk away...

SC

[lannarebirth]

^{The OP wouldn't be doing a sentence under house arrest by any chance would he?}

[Litlos]

Crime - Bringing Thaksin into every thread.

Punishment - Being strapped down and forced to listen to 10 days straight of American political speeches (either party), will be begging for mercy or the needle after a day or two.

Then ushered gently into a rubber room as permanent accomodation on completion of the 10 days. May be considered "Cruel and Unusual Punishment", but hey they deserve it.

Cheers

[PattayaParent]

Can I open a bank account in Thailand?

and then when you've got one

How do I transfer money to my Thai bank account?

[MediumPaceBowler]

^{The OP wouldn't be doing a sentence under house arrest by any chance would he?}

Or as Terry Wogan once said to David Icke: "they're not laughing with you; they're laughing at you".

[Semper]

Crime - I have problems with my Thai wife/gf what should I do kinds of topics.

Edited March 5, 2012 by Semper

[Thaddeus]

Crime - Spouting the well worn out phrase "If you don't like it, leave"

Punishment - Force fed "Shaddap You Face" by Joe Dolce until dead.

[StreetCowboy]

Crime: baffling parochial cultural references

Punishment: Complete silence, like a stone sinking in a bog in a forest when there's no-one there to hear it

SC

[David48]

^{The OP wouldn't be doing a sentence under house arrest by any chance would he?}

Nope ... out early on a good humour bond

[Shot]

Crime: Having too much time on your hands, and starting a thread like this.

Punishment: Reading a thread like this, and then taking the time to respond to it.

[StreetCowboy]

OK; so now are we ready to compile our list of commandments?

Time to start chiseling the tablet, so to speak.

We might want to fudge a few, though... for a wider audience

SC

Edit: Guilty - #14

Edited March 5, 2012 by StreetCowboy

[Payboy]

Crime .............. Asking why their favourite European groceries are out of stock at Villa market.

Punishment ..... Only Mama noodles for breakfast, lunch and dinner for a week.

[MrJohnson]

Crime : Starting a 'It's a conspiracy against all farangs" type thread

Punishment - Forced to watch Fahrenheit 9/11 continuously until your nose bleeds

[loong]

It does seem to be a crime to compare anything Thai unfavourably against anything from your home country.

Strangely, the opposite is perfectly acceptable.

[Soutpeel]

Crime: Asking/debating the correct protocol when Wai'ing

Punishment: hands tied behind ones back....plastic over ones head and pushed off a high bridge

[Soutpeel]

_{Crime: Do I need a work permit to work in Thailand ?}

_{Punishment: immediate blacklisting from Thailand for ever and ever}

Edited March 5, 2012 by bonobo
reduced font size

[loong]

Crime: Asking/debating the correct protocol when Wai'ing

Punishment: hands tied behind ones back....plastic over ones head and pushed off a high bridge

You mean suicide?

[David48]

Crime: Can I extend my Visa which I got when I arrived at the Airport?

... someone else up for the punishment ?

Edited March 5, 2012 by David48

[UbonOz]

Crime: what is the exchange rate, Thai baht/Pound Sterling.

Punishment: come on holiday to Thailand with 23kg of check-in luggage with one pound coins inside and find out.

[Litlos]

Crime: Can I extend my Visa which I got when I arrived at the Airport?

... someone else up for the punishment ?

Punishment - A long wait at the local immigration office surrounded by similar minded people who have not showered for a week.

Cheers

[UbonOz]

Check my signature.

You must all have an erection today to enter posts.

[David48]

This post was opened AND closed within 3 hours this morning ... http://www.thaivisa....er-foreign-men/

Crime: Asking the question "Do younger Thai girls like older foreign men"

Punishment: Make him date a woman 15 years older then him in his home country then repeat the punishment here in Thailand

EDIT :- Feel free to improve and correct my punishment

Edited March 5, 2012 by David48

[StreetCowboy]

This post was opened AND closed within 3 hours this morning ... http://www.thaivisa....er-foreign-men/

Crime: Asking the question "Do younger Thai girls like older foreign men"

Punishment: Make him date a woman 15 years older then him in his home country then repeat the punishment here in Thailand

We seem to have had a spate of re-runs recently. There's a 'do you like being called farang' thread running, started on Friday, an old thread on living for under a shilling a week brought back to life more times than Frankenstein's monster, and one started yesterday on cheeky taxis.

Are we caught in a timewarp? I get deja vu so often these days... like look at some of the threads that are open just now -

SC

[Soutpeel]

Crime: Asking/debating the correct protocol when Wai'ing

Punishment: hands tied behind ones back....plastic over ones head and pushed off a high bridge

You mean suicide?

This is what the BiB would conclude of course....only TV members would know the real truth...