How Hard Can It Be?

[nocturn]

ok, so i have lived here for yonks and never had a live-in ( though i dont deny i have taken my pleasure as i wished) beyond the (thai) woman who bore my child.

she has her own career, speaks excellent english and was willing to admit i was better equipped to bring up the child once we parted. Her pride dictated that our finances were separate, and so they remain. we met while clubbing.

she is one of my best mates now, we amicably split custody, and she is happily married to someone else i consider a benefit to my childs existence. in fact, i would not want to continue without their involvement, and strive to maintain the peace.

I meet other women (thai and otherwise) regularly who are similar, seem interested in being a part of this happily dysfunctional family, but as of yet, have not found anyone i deem "worthy", though many certainly have been.

i suppose my question is, why settle up? why make do? it really isn't that hard to get it right if you are willing to try.

[theblether]

How Hard Can It Be?

Well it depends, sometimes I take a Cialis on a Monday and it's still in effect on a Thursday, then I have a few drinks with Red Bull and forget I took the Cialis and have a Kamagra too. Now I must say when I do that I really regret it

Painful.

[nocturn]

are you competing with semper for the most irrelevant reply possible?

you certainly can be amusing, but do you think you succeeded here?

[David48]

How Hard Can It Be?

Well it depends, sometimes I take a Cialis on a Monday and it's still in effect on a Thursday, then I have a few drinks with Red Bull and forget I took the Cialis and have a Kamagra too. Now I must say when I do that I really regret it

Painful.

are you competing with semper for the most irrelevant reply possible?

you certainly can be amusing, but do you think you succeeded here?

... yep

[richard_smith237]

are you competing with semper for the most irrelevant reply possible?

you certainly can be amusing, but do you think you succeeded here?

Unfair - theblether's reply was more than a moronic one liner !

That said - I've really no idea what point the Op is trying to make... Do

[theblether]

are you competing with semper for the most irrelevant reply possible?

you certainly can be amusing, but do you think you succeeded here?

Relax, Semper is way better than me!!

Tell you what I'll give you a serious reply.

The condition you describe is the condition that most of us find ourselves in.

We are capable of love but we have all had our Mills & Boon romance, normally with the lady we loved and married back in our home countries.

You don't get two Mills & Boon romances, for the simple reason being that the ghost of the first always haunts the second, and the third, and so on.

So everything is tempered with experience, and as a rule of thumb the older you get the more experienced you become in relationships. ( doesn't always apply as some people stick to one lady all their lives ).

So a lot of us are decent, kind, and loving men, but we are also a little bit weary and defensive. That's a shame, because a lot of times our potential new partners pay the price for the ghosts of relationships past.

So if I was you.........content yourself being happy in yourself, and just see what happens.

ps......and try not to put up topic titles like that one

edited for clarity.

Edited March 5, 2012 by theblether

[theblether]

are you competing with semper for the most irrelevant reply possible?

you certainly can be amusing, but do you think you succeeded here?

Unfair - theblether's reply was more than a moronic one liner !

That said - I've really no idea what point the Op is trying to make... Do

It's not often I get called moronic.....thanks very much.

Try reading his post.......it's not that hard to understand.

[nocturn]

are you competing with semper for the most irrelevant reply possible?

you certainly can be amusing, but do you think you succeeded here?

Unfair - theblether's reply was more than a moronic one liner !

That said - I've really no idea what point the Op is trying to make... Do

the OPs question, is, in summary: with a little discernment, and an honest effort, is is really that difficult to have a decent relationship in thailand?

[smokie36]

I am like that with mushrooms. Why do IK have to wait another month or two?

Its like bacon I can have every day but luvverly mushies...only every once in a while....life is cruel no?

[nocturn]

How Hard Can It Be?

Well it depends, sometimes I take a Cialis on a Monday and it's still in effect on a Thursday, then I have a few drinks with Red Bull and forget I took the Cialis and have a Kamagra too. Now I must say when I do that I really regret it

Painful.

are you competing with semper for the most irrelevant reply possible?

you certainly can be amusing, but do you think you succeeded here?

... yep

thanks dave, you gossip me, but i no think you think too mutt.

[theblether]

are you competing with semper for the most irrelevant reply possible?

you certainly can be amusing, but do you think you succeeded here?

Unfair - theblether's reply was more than a moronic one liner !

That said - I've really no idea what point the Op is trying to make... Do

the OPs question, is, in summary: with a little discernment, and an honest effort, is is really that difficult to have a decent relationship in thailand?

Well why didn't you just say that!!

I think you're hanging yourself out to dry a little bit here Nocturn but my answer is yes.......with one proviso. Don't sell yourself short.

edit for ps

ps I don't think you would though, you know the script in Thailand.

Edited March 5, 2012 by theblether

[richard_smith237]

are you competing with semper for the most irrelevant reply possible?

you certainly can be amusing, but do you think you succeeded here?

Unfair - theblether's reply was more than a moronic one liner !

That said - I've really no idea what point the Op is trying to make... Do

It's not often I get called moronic.....thanks very much.

Try reading his post.......it's not that hard to understand.

Noooo... I didn't mean that !!...

Your post was more than one line, longer than one of Sempers one liners !

[richard_smith237]

are you competing with semper for the most irrelevant reply possible?

you certainly can be amusing, but do you think you succeeded here?

Unfair - theblether's reply was more than a moronic one liner !

That said - I've really no idea what point the Op is trying to make... Do

the OPs question, is, in summary: with a little discernment, and an honest effort, is is really that difficult to have a decent relationship in thailand?

Ah, got it... . I suspect that as I have never had anything other than decent honest relationships here, I missed the Ops point. The why settle up? why make do? part threw me....

[nocturn]

are you competing with semper for the most irrelevant reply possible?

you certainly can be amusing, but do you think you succeeded here?

Unfair - theblether's reply was more than a moronic one liner !

That said - I've really no idea what point the Op is trying to make... Do

the OPs question, is, in summary: with a little discernment, and an honest effort, is is really that difficult to have a decent relationship in thailand?

Well why didn't you just say that!!

I think you're hanging yourself out to dry a little bit here Nocturn but my answer is yes.......with one proviso. Don't sell yourself short.

edit for ps

ps I don't think you would though, you know the script in Thailand.

arghh, i give up. sincerity is overrated.

i will go back to limiting myself to scotch and bitchy one liners.

Edited March 5, 2012 by nocturn

[smokie36]

arghh, i give up. sincerity is overrated.

i will go back to limiting myself to scotch and bitchy one liners.

Better to live a lie or seek out your own happiness?

Easy answer there.

[theblether]

are you competing with semper for the most irrelevant reply possible?

you certainly can be amusing, but do you think you succeeded here?

Unfair - theblether's reply was more than a moronic one liner !

That said - I've really no idea what point the Op is trying to make... Do

It's not often I get called moronic.....thanks very much.

Try reading his post.......it's not that hard to understand.

Noooo... I didn't mean that !!...

Your post was more than one line, longer than one of Sempers one liners !

Oh sorry, I get you now.......I'm really quite embarrassed now.

[theblether]

Better to live a lie or seek out your own happiness?

Profound question of the day Smokie.........well done!!

[nocturn]

arghh, i give up. sincerity is overrated.

i will go back to limiting myself to scotch and bitchy one liners.

Better to live a lie or seek out your own happiness?

Easy answer there.

perhaps i am being obtuse, do tell.

[smokie36]

arghh, i give up. sincerity is overrated.

i will go back to limiting myself to scotch and bitchy one liners.

Better to live a lie or seek out your own happiness?

Easy answer there.

perhaps i am being obtuse, do tell.

From my own experience...I could have married a lassie some years ago and moved to Canada, but there were reservations on both sides. I wanted to relocate to New Zealand...she was set on a move back home.

Otherwise our relationship seemed fine in every way...but when it came to it I realised she wanted someone I wasn't...and I had to reluctantly end the relationship. Not easy at the time nocturn as we had been together for a long time...I loved her and part of me still does. Its just that I couldn't match what she was looking for.

[nocturn]

arghh, i give up. sincerity is overrated.

i will go back to limiting myself to scotch and bitchy one liners.

Better to live a lie or seek out your own happiness?

Easy answer there.

perhaps i am being obtuse, do tell.

From my own experience...I could have married a lassie some years ago and moved to Canada, but there were reservations on both sides. I wanted to relocate to New Zealand...she was set on a move back home.

Otherwise our relationship seemed fine in every way...but when it came to it I realised she wanted someone I wasn't...and I had to reluctantly end the relationship. Not easy at the time nocturn as we had been together for a long time...I loved her and part of me still does. Its just that I couldn't match what she was looking for.

ok, i get that.

I made it a whole 2 years in mine, but the friendship has continued, and any bitterness has dissipated for some time. in fact i probably love her more now since its over and we share a child.

much better to seek happiness.

back to my point though, she was right at the time and remains so, even failed relationships here can end well if you had the right (wrong) partner to begin with

Edited March 5, 2012 by nocturn

[Ijustwannateach]

I think it's generally no easier or no harder to have a 'good' relationship (whatever that means) here than anywhere else for the individuals involved- with perhaps the exception that if the relationship style depends heavily on good quality and open verbal communication, it may be a bit tougher finding the right person here for cultural reasons.

[nocturn]

I think it's generally no easier or no harder to have a 'good' relationship (whatever that means) here than anywhere else for the individuals involved- with perhaps the exception that if the relationship style depends heavily on good quality and open verbal communication, it may be a bit tougher finding the right person here for cultural reasons.

that is all fine and good, but one can take time here to find the "good quality and open verbal communication" before moving someone in.

[theblether]

I think it's generally no easier or no harder to have a 'good' relationship (whatever that means) here than anywhere else for the individuals involved- with perhaps the exception that if the relationship style depends heavily on good quality and open verbal communication, it may be a bit tougher finding the right person here for cultural reasons.

Possibly that, in fact certainly that ( the culture ) is a factor. It can have positive and negative aspects on life here, however!! I will maintain this to my dying day!!

If you are not happy in yourself then you will never be happy!!

Too many people look for others to put sticking plasters over massive wounds in their souls, it may hold for a while but in the end the wound bursts open again.

Fix your own wounds before you wound others.

Edited March 5, 2012 by theblether

[smokie36]

I think it's generally no easier or no harder to have a 'good' relationship (whatever that means) here than anywhere else for the individuals involved- with perhaps the exception that if the relationship style depends heavily on good quality and open verbal communication, it may be a bit tougher finding the right person here for cultural reasons.

Possibly that, in fact certainly that ( the culture ) is a factor. It can have positive and negative aspects on life here, however!! I will maintain this to my dying day!!

If you are not happy in yourself then you will never be happy!!

Too many people look for others to put sticking plasters over massive wounds in their souls, it may hold for a while but in the end the wound bursts open again.

Fix your own wounds before you wound others.

Wise words.

[theblether]

I think it's generally no easier or no harder to have a 'good' relationship (whatever that means) here than anywhere else for the individuals involved- with perhaps the exception that if the relationship style depends heavily on good quality and open verbal communication, it may be a bit tougher finding the right person here for cultural reasons.

Possibly that, in fact certainly that ( the culture ) is a factor. It can have positive and negative aspects on life here, however!! I will maintain this to my dying day!!

If you are not happy in yourself then you will never be happy!!

Too many people look for others to put sticking plasters over massive wounds in their souls, it may hold for a while but in the end the wound bursts open again.

Fix your own wounds before you wound others.

Wise words.

I know......there's something wrong with me tonight

I'll need to go find my stupid head

[vtjforyou]

are you competing with semper for the most irrelevant reply possible?

you certainly can be amusing, but do you think you succeeded here?

yes he succeeded! I was about to say that sometimes it's so hard that I can't believe myself :-)

[pattayadingo]

Hmmm, some of the posts here have me thinking a bit.

Odd really. In the U.K. and terminated relationships seem to be bitter and filled with acrimony. Yet here, I have had a couple of relationships that lasted a couple of years each and they still phone me and we remain friends. I am often told that if I need help all I have to do is call.

Reading some of the posts it may well be that they are genuine.

More on topic, I do feel people can have a decent and loving relationship here but that the rules are slightly different to what we might expect 'back home'. Maybe all it needs is some adjustment to our way of thinking?

[Semper]

are you competing with semper for the most irrelevant reply possible?

you certainly can be amusing, but do you think you succeeded here?

Unfair - theblether's reply was more than a moronic one liner !

That said - I've really no idea what point the Op is trying to make... Do

Well, let me help you out. He actually made several points in his topic:

1. He has lived here for yonks. (very important to let other members to know)

2. He has made a Thai woman (obviously a hi-so) pregnant.

3. He actually have friends ("she is one of my best mates now")

Hope this helps.

Edited March 6, 2012 by Semper

[F1fanatic]

I think it's generally no easier or no harder to have a 'good' relationship (whatever that means) here than anywhere else for the individuals involved- with perhaps the exception that if the relationship style depends heavily on good quality and open verbal communication, it may be a bit tougher finding the right person here for cultural reasons.

Possibly that, in fact certainly that ( the culture ) is a factor. It can have positive and negative aspects on life here, however!! I will maintain this to my dying day!!

If you are not happy in yourself then you will never be happy!!

Too many people look for others to put sticking plasters over massive wounds in their souls, it may hold for a while but in the end the wound bursts open again.

Fix your own wounds before you wound others.

Wise words.

I know......there's something wrong with me tonight

I'll need to go find my stupid head

Isn't this thread one of the 'topics that should carry a punishment'?

Nocturn really - you (presumably) have been here long enough to know better!

[IanForbes]

are you competing with semper for the most irrelevant reply possible?

you certainly can be amusing, but do you think you succeeded here?

Tell you what I'll give you a serious reply.

The condition you describe is the condition that most of us find ourselves in.

We are capable of love but we have all had our Mills & Boon romance, normally with the lady we loved and married back in our home countries.

You don't get two Mills & Boon romances, for the simple reason being that the ghost of the first always haunts the second, and the third, and so on.

So everything is tempered with experience, and as a rule of thumb the older you get the more experienced you become in relationships. ( doesn't always apply as some people stick to one lady all their lives ).

So a lot of us are decent, kind, and loving men, but we are also a little bit weary and defensive. That's a shame, because a lot of times our potential new partners pay the price for the ghosts of relationships past.

So if I was you.........content yourself being happy in yourself, and just see what happens.

ps......and try not to put up topic titles like that one

edited for clarity.

That's pretty much it in a nutshell. Most of us are completely capable of looking after ourselves. We don't need a full time mother, cook and house cleaner. You can hire someone for house cleaning if you are too lazy to do it yourself, and in Thailand, cooking is not really necessary. It's just as cheap to eat in one of the thousands of food stalls or Thai cafes. I wouldn't WANT to have inflicted myself on some poor woman when I eventually get too old to function as a man. It's much more convenient for EVERYONE to just hire rentals for whatever your needs are. If and when I get too old to look after myself I'll just hire a nurse to take care of things. In Canada you just get dumped in geriatric wing of the public hospital to live out your final days.

Relax, Semper is way better than me!!

You each have your good points but verbalize them differently.