Late on last year I met a Thai woman here in Pattaya. She worked at the laundry 12 hours a day and slept at her Aunt's salon nearby.

A nice Issan woman in her mid 30's. Spoke hardly any English at all. Caring in nature and friendly albeit a bit shy. Over the next few months we got on really well. With help from the Aunt and myself J started to learn English.

I learned she was from a small town in Issan. Had worked in factories, has one son and an elderly mother and father, neither of whom can now work. One drunken brother whose son she also takes care of. Finances and a need to escape the factories were why she now worked at the laundry. The laundry of her Aunt's friend.

J's mother fell ill and she had to go back home to help out. We kept in touch. About a month later I had to go to England to get a new visa. I used to phone her from the U.K. I returned to Thailand 6 weeks later.

A month after my return I got a phone call from J saying she has just arrived in Pattaya and wanted to see me. Meeting her was not possible at that time for me as I was away.

Another month later I got a call asking me to go to see her in the bar she had started working at with her friend from her home town who'd been here in Pattaya a couple of months. She wanted to show me off as her English friend. She was so pleased when I turned up. I stayed a couple of hours but that bar is not my scene. Such a small bar. Loud pumping music, blacked out windows a couple of poles for dancing girls, the bar and one tv screen. It reminded me of so many bars open for sex only and nothing else. I told her my thoughts and why I could not stay.

To me it was a sad day to see her working in a place like that but she needed to work to keep her son, her brother's son and to help her parents. The laundry J worked at before had closed. Her friend had told her of this bar and asked her down to work in it. Glorifying her lifestyle and the money she was making.

The other morning J asked to meet me, to talk. I met her.

It had been a month since I last saw her in the bar. She knows I am currently single and also that I really do fancy her. J tells me she wants her and I to start seeing each other and to be in a relationship. As the talking went on and I told her she would have to leave the bar because I do not want a BG for a g/f. Then the talk turned to her friends who have Farang that give them money every month and take care of everything and that I should give her 15K a month. I refused. She dropped the amount to 10K a month. I also refused that too. I told her I do not want to buy her every month.

Then, this woman who had, 6 months earlier, been shy and working in the laundry shop, started shouting that her friends said they had ..... blah blah.

I told her to go and find a Farang willing to give what her friends are allegedly getting, especially as there are so many Farang about like that according to her friends in the bar.

She started calling me names next. Called me 'Sticky sh*t', 'Farang Kwai' and some other choice words. As she got out of the car her last words were for me to F Off.

Two months in a bar working with her friend had changed this lovely woman so much. And I feel it is a great shame although I do understand the need for her to get money to support the family. There, I think, goes another 'good woman' down the pan after only two months or so working in a bar.

Sad really.

What do you think?

Nothing has changed the 'good woman'. She was always like that, you just didn't realize.

I do not think it was the 2 months working in a bar that changed the woman, it just brought out what was contolled/hidden or unseen by you.

I think peer pressure and wrong influences can change someone. For sure i have changed after some bad experiences. But its hard to change someone completely like that.

She has been initiated,nothing new and out of the ordinary in Pattaya.

She will be able to keep you in another six months! or will be in Norway married with a big game plan.

C'est la vie

The story you write OP has probably been used by many a Thai girl when they think they have a chance of netting a farang with different twists to each tale told, maybe it's not the case in your tale about J or maybe it is with the help of her aunt and freinds telling her what to say.

But I would say that Pattaya has really changed over the years and girls are getting very clever at their story telling tecniques, maybe some ones set up a school to teach the new arrivals on how to net and earn an income from farang.

Only thing I try to do is not tar em all with the same brush, and not sterotype em but when a place like Pattaya has the image it has then sometimes it's hard for some people not to think that their just out to con them.

Just my opinion.

Sent from my GT-N7000 using Thaivisa Connect App

Edited June 16, 201214 yr by MB1

Sad? I guess so.

Did the bar work change her? maybe.

Can you do anything? Probably not.

Was this post from me helpful? Hard to say.

Human beings can become jaded very quickly.

Why does a girl move to Pattaya to work in a laundry?

Think about that!

Why does a girl move to Pattaya to work in a laundry?

Think about that!

So she can find out about how clean a guy is by checking for skid marks in his boxers when he brings em to the laundry, well maybe.....

Sent from my GT-N7000 using Thaivisa Connect App

I'm shocked you think it's worthy of comment PD, she must have meant something to you.

Pattaya is a trap, most village girls turn up either oblivious or naïve. Even if their friends told them that 'come here, sleep with farang, make big money', it wouldn't have a clue about the casual brutality of the place.

That documentary thread, Girlfriend For Sale,see youtube, that re-emerged here a couple of months ago covered it well, with the single mother asking how much more difficult can it be to sleep with a farang, as she had had Thai boyfriends before. She didn't last long when she saw the reality.

Bit by bit, step by step, the girls get drawn in.

Anyway, sorry to hear that a lady you held a candle for has let you down. Another one bites the dust.

Shame.

I'm shocked you think it's worthy of comment PD, she must have meant something to you.

Pattaya is a trap, most village girls turn up either oblivious or naïve. Even if their friends told them that 'come here, sleep with farang, make big money', it wouldn't have a clue about the casual brutality of the place.

That documentary thread, Girlfriend For Sale,see youtube, that re-emerged here a couple of months ago covered it well, with the single mother asking how much more difficult can it be to sleep with a farang, as she had had Thai boyfriends before. She didn't last long when she saw the reality.

Bit by bit, step by step, the girls get drawn in.

Anyway, sorry to hear that a lady you held a candle for has let you down. Another one bites the dust.

Shame.

yes, looking for love in Pattaya could be a bit like the old saying 'looking for love in all the wrong places'.

I do feel for you pattayadingo. It is always a little stomach churning when you see a girl you like act like she did and get nasty for no reason.

Good you stuck to your guns re: the money. Always easy to say yes.

your fault for teaching her English:lol:

Sent from my GT-S5360 using Thaivisa Connect App

I think its a chronic shame that this young lady could not even work out the situation for herself.

Follows like sheep, subjected to peer pressure... yep thats life.

One thing for sure is that she has lost out on a very good man!

You will meet your Mrs Pattayadingo, never accept second best.

What did you expect?

Money # 1.... You should already know this already.

Did you just arrive yesterday?

Can the trolls please form an orderly queue to the left.

Best troll post of the day will be awarded a plate of delicious worms to munch on at the bottom of the garden.

If you behave, you may even get a juicy big slug too.

Carry on........

Why does a girl move to Pattaya to work in a laundry?

Think about that!

Well, the OP mentioned that she was bored of the factory work up north.

Why does a girl move to Pattaya to work in a laundry?

Think about that!

Many ladies come to Pattaya to earn big money. They can earn a lot more here in Pattaya than they can back up in Issan. Where do you think the waitresses, shop girls, laundry ladies come from? Not all come to get involved in the P2P industry. My wife was ill and at her wits end when she came to Pattaya at the invitation her cousins. She worked with them in a very respectable bar/restaurant, rooming house and with tips was earning over 10K per month. She was able to send home more to her father who cared for her two children than she earned in Buriram.

At the moment my wife's daughter, husband and small child are staying with us. Their crops have been planted in the fields in Petchabun and most days they would have sat around watching them grow as there was no alternative work that they could find. Now she works as a waitress and is pulling 10K plus per month and her husband is delivering 50kg bags of rice and earning 9k with the occasional tip. Eventually they will have enough banked to complete the building of their little dream house and return home. Meanwhile the family will help out at harvest time so that the couple can continue to gather in their golden harvest.

Look around and I think that you will find that there are more ladies making their way through life without selling themselves than scraggy tarts working in bars and gogos.

I think the OP was extremely lucky that the girl displayed her true colors before he became too involved and at least it did not cost him a fortune to discover the truth before he lost out big time.

Sometime ago I used to be a regular customer of a massage parlour girl in Chiang Mai. Only this girl would oblige me with more than the regular extras.

She spoke good bargirl type English and although she appeared to be a nice enough pleasant person, all through our sessions together I had to put with the constant blabbering of her BS hard luck stories, most of them similar to the OPs experiences. I’ve heard all the crap before and most of it goes in one ear and out the other with me.

After a while she asked me if I loved her? To be honest I really couldn’t be bothered to answer because I was not interested in becoming involved with her. But what was unusual about this girl is that she was blatantly honest with me. She explained that she had this German 67 year old married guy on the go and he was paying her 20000 baht per month just for her to be there for him, like a minor wife and asked me if I was interested in doing the same? I replied, no, I’m quite content with the way things are in my life. Then she asked; but don`t you love me? After that I just avoided the subject and never visited her at the massage parlour again.

I came to realise that to many of these women, being a sort of extra wife on a business basis is quite normal for them and if a guy shows no interest they simply cant fathom it out and consider the snub off as a personal insult to them and this is perhaps why that girl reacted to the OP the way she did?

I have no doubts that the OPs girl was probably doing some bar work while she was working at the laundry.

My advice is; try to not become involved with the underclasses of Thai society, the same principles apply as do in our home countries.

I think its a chronic shame that this young lady could not even work out the situation for herself.

Follows like sheep, subjected to peer pressure... yep thats life.

This woman worked out her situation very well. Don't fall into the trap "they are all vicitims". Western thinking.

There are dozens of Thai cities where you can work in a laundry for 10K or slightly less. But she chose Pattaya, because she knows very well about her options of extra income, which may not be that good in other Thai cities.

Nothing has changed the 'good woman'. She was always like that, you just didn't realize.

I do not think it was the 2 months working in a bar that changed the woman, it just brought out what was contolled/hidden or unseen by you.

I doubt that she was like this before hand. Having met some of her family they seemed decent hard working people. I feel I got to know her quite well. She had manners. I feel that her situation changed her and her beliefs have been altered by contact with others.

It is a gut feeling she really wanted out of the bar and when I refused what she was told she could financially get from a farang, she was shocked and surprised when I said no.

But, each to their own train of thought.

Nothing has changed the 'good woman'. She was always like that, you just didn't realize.

I do not think it was the 2 months working in a bar that changed the woman, it just brought out what was contolled/hidden or unseen by you.

I doubt that she was like this before hand. Having met some of her family they seemed decent hard working people. I feel I got to know her quite well. She had manners. I feel that her situation changed her and her beliefs have been altered by contact with others.

It is a gut feeling she really wanted out of the bar and when I refused what she was told she could financially get from a farang, she was shocked and surprised when I said no.

But, each to their own train of thought.

Isnt it so strange Pattayadingo how there are some exceptionally poor people in this world of ours , and yet they have the pride and self respect never to ask for a cent! Those are the sort of people that attract me, not "chancers" that buy your time for A$631 per month (layby money)!

The story you write OP has probably been used by many a Thai girl when they think they have a chance of netting a farang with different twists to each tale told, maybe it's not the case in your tale about J or maybe it is with the help of her aunt and freinds telling her what to say.

But I would say that Pattaya has really changed over the years and girls are getting very clever at their story telling tecniques, maybe some ones set up a school to teach the new arrivals on how to net and earn an income from farang.

Only thing I try to do is not tar em all with the same brush, and not sterotype em but when a place like Pattaya has the image it has then sometimes it's hard for some people not to think that their just out to con them.

Just my opinion.

Sent from my GT-N7000 using Thaivisa Connect App

Her Aunt does not know what she is now doing. At one point on the phone, I mentioned her Aunt because I thought she might be staying there again and as it is close by I would have popped round. J was not happy that I might see and talk to her Aunt and give the Aunt an idea of what J is doing.

I agree there are many stories and as many twists to those tales here in Pattaya. I to hear many of them, but I did get to know her quite well before she went home to tend her mother and feel this was not a story.

Still at the end of the day it will seem like just another girl gone bad story and trying to screw us out of our money. Yet I feel things might have been different if the laundry she previously worked at had not shut down or if I'd been around to maybe help her out while she got a job. Now we will never know.

Why does a girl move to Pattaya to work in a laundry?

Think about that!

She was near family with a job offer and tired of what she had been doing previously. Working 12 hours a day + commuting time made long days previously.

Sad? I guess so.

Did the bar work change her? maybe.

Can you do anything? Probably not.

Was this post from me helpful? Hard to say.

I suppose he could have looked after her when he had the chance. And then, once she had screwed up the courage and reached the point of desperation to ask him outright, he could still have looked after her. But 10,000 baht a month was more important to him.

I reckon if I stopped sending my wife money every month, she'd be in pretty dire straits, but I don't begrudge it. I see it as my role in life to go out and wrestle mammoths or fill in pointless forms or whatever it is that I do for a living, to feed the clanspeople back home

SC

EDIT: I suppose there's

Edited June 16, 201214 yr by StreetCowboy

I'm shocked you think it's worthy of comment PD, she must have meant something to you.

Pattaya is a trap, most village girls turn up either oblivious or naïve. Even if their friends told them that 'come here, sleep with farang, make big money', it wouldn't have a clue about the casual brutality of the place.

That documentary thread, Girlfriend For Sale,see youtube, that re-emerged here a couple of months ago covered it well, with the single mother asking how much more difficult can it be to sleep with a farang, as she had had Thai boyfriends before. She didn't last long when she saw the reality.

Bit by bit, step by step, the girls get drawn in.

Anyway, sorry to hear that a lady you held a candle for has let you down. Another one bites the dust.

Shame.

Yes, Pattaya is a trap. I recall seeing a documentary in the UK about a girl who set off to London and became wrapped up in the bright lights and prostitution. In many ways maybe not so different here.

What I did like was her village attitude. Naive at the world we know and we can understand. I did feel for her a lot and would have gone up north to visit her and seen where it went. The thought did enter my mind that I might also like to get back to village life here. Sometimes I miss that laid back way of life.

As you say, another one bites the dust and all too often.

Her Aunt does not know what she is now doing. At one point on the phone, I mentioned her Aunt because I thought she might be staying there again and as it is close by I would have popped round. J was not happy that I might see and talk to her Aunt and give the Aunt an idea of what J is doing.

My SIL is a BG in Pattaya, everyone knows what she is doing, nobody mentions it.

Usually the villagers assume any girl going to work in BK or Pattaya is whoring, even if they aren't.

I think the OP was extremely lucky that the girl displayed her true colors before he became too involved and at least it did not cost him a fortune to discover the truth before he lost out big time.

Sometime ago I used to be a regular customer of a massage parlour girl in Chiang Mai. Only this girl would oblige me with more than the regular extras.

She spoke good bargirl type English and although she appeared to be a nice enough pleasant person, all through our sessions together I had to put with the constant blabbering of her BS hard luck stories, most of them similar to the OPs experiences. I’ve heard all the crap before and most of it goes in one ear and out the other with me.

After a while she asked me if I loved her? To be honest I really couldn’t be bothered to answer because I was not interested in becoming involved with her. But what was unusual about this girl is that she was blatantly honest with me. She explained that she had this German 67 year old married guy on the go and he was paying her 20000 baht per month just for her to be there for him, like a minor wife and asked me if I was interested in doing the same? I replied, no, I’m quite content with the way things are in my life. Then she asked; but don`t you love me? After that I just avoided the subject and never visited her at the massage parlour again.

I came to realise that to many of these women, being a sort of extra wife on a business basis is quite normal for them and if a guy shows no interest they simply cant fathom it out and consider the snub off as a personal insult to them and this is perhaps why that girl reacted to the OP the way she did?

I have no doubts that the OPs girl was probably doing some bar work while she was working at the laundry.

My advice is; try to not become involved with the underclasses of Thai society, the same principles apply as do in our home countries.

Can I ask where you got that picture of my Ex?

The OP does not tell us how old the woman was - Let me make a guess at 25 and then make the observation that 25 years of being raised and living life as a good woman does not go down the pan in two months.

I say the OP has had a narrow escape.