Why Don'T People Give Each Other Way

[arminbkk]

When walking that is.

Numerous times a day, when someone comes towards you from opposite direction, on a narrow sidewalk, they will not move a bit when passing.

I'm not saying people should move out of the way, but give each other way. You move a bit, I move a bit, we pass and all be on our merry way.

Very many times, people just keep walking, sometimes charging even.

And yes, they did see me, we made eye contact.

Now, not to point fingers, but it's quite often Thai and Indians, sometimes Westerners too.

Also, people will come from right or left, again walking, and cross or even make a dead stop right in your path, as if you are not there.

Now the above might not sound that bad, but when they are carrying bags...........the number of bags I have bumped into me.

Reading the facial expressions sometimes, it was deliberately too.

Has anyone else noticed/experienced this?

Now I know there a many many people on the streets, but still, should be normal to be somewhat considerate of others.

Your thoughts.

Thanks

[transam]

Weeeeeeeeell, it's the same with driving here, loss of face, one must win or be in front. Must add that is not from me but my wifey.

[trainman34014]

Here we go, making comparisons with where we come from, where people are always so dambed polite. I understand the 'me first' thing here but it's the foreigners who walk around with superior attitudes that I could easily fall out with.

[rodentwarrior]

transam you are sooooo under the thumb! I don't believe it for a second!

Consideration is Thai is Greng Jai? Means nothing! There is no consideration. Pavements, roads all the same.

Manners? That is funny! There is only respect for strength and sometimes age.

Deal with it, with a smile and the simple understanding that were are civilised in an uncivilised, developing Country.

[dingdang]

some do deliberately, they want to look close at you or being noticed, but there is also a number which stares at you - and then they loose somehow direction, running straigt towards you... you know that effect, too, when you are on a bike, and you have to avoid a collision... when you look at it, its much more difficult... same effect...

i am really astounded, that after so long time of so many tourists and expats in the country, they still have to stare and to peak through every micro hole... must have to do with the EQ...

havent been to the south lately, but do the guys there still pull up the t-shirt under the chin, when walking towards women?

Edited July 8, 2012 by dingdang

[transam]

transam you are sooooo under the thumb! I don't believe it for a second!

Consideration is Thai is Greng Jai? Means nothing! There is no consideration. Pavements, roads all the same.

Manners? That is funny! There is only respect for strength and sometimes age.

Deal with it, with a smile and the simple understanding that were are civilised in an uncivilised, developing Country.

I Don't deal with anything, my post is the truth. But if a native wants to barge me then they will come unstuck, BUT, as a gentleman, whether they understand or not, l will say excuse me, but don't <deleted> do it again.

[rodentwarrior]

I remember many years ago, when I was still coming for holidays, before I moved to Bangkok, I was barged into by a particularly large Thai on Victory Monument walkway. When I asked him why he'd done it, he said I was moving through the crowd like some sort of untouchable God, treating the locals with complete disdain!

He was right, it's an easy trap to fall into when one first comes to Thailand. A very useful reminder to keep humility to the fore.

[arminbkk]

Here we go, making comparisons with where we come from, where people are always so dambed polite. I understand the 'me first' thing here but it's the foreigners who walk around with superior attitudes that I could easily fall out with.

I wasn't making comparisons with where I come from.

I must add that I move aside a bit, showing the oncoming fellow human being the right thing. However, that person usually doesn't move.

Would consider it the normal decent thing to do amongst each other, but guess I should just change my mindset..

I also do not walk around with a superior attitude.

So how do you deal with it?

[Geekfreaklover]

I've often thought about this and can only conclude that most Thais only think of the people that could improve their current situation - family, close friends, work associates. Random people on the street are just that, random people on the street. Most Thais in urban situations are living in a complex face bubble and the average passerby has nothing to add nor offer to that bubble.

[Rsquared]

"So how do you deal with it?"

Unfortunately you have to become a zombie and get yourself from point "A" to point "B" in the most efficient manner that you can do with total disrespect for your fellow human beings.

[arminbkk]

I've often thought about this and can only conclude that most Thais only think of the people that could improve their current situation - family, close friends, work associates. Random people on the street are just that, random people on the street. Most Thais in urban situations are living in a complex face bubble and the average passerby has nothing to add nor offer to that bubble.

My Thai wife has often explained things to me to that effect.

Thais do not care much about people that they do not know, do not want to waste their time with strangers.

That's not talking about helping each other when there's something like a flood, but more in normal everyday routine life.

Of course, if I bump into a Thai, it will always be my bad.

[arminbkk]

"So how do you deal with it?"

Unfortunately you have to become a zombie and get yourself from point "A" to point "B" in the most efficient manner that you can do with total disrespect for your fellow human beings.

In other words, adapt to your surroundings

[givenall]

Here we go, making comparisons with where we come from, where people are always so dambed polite. I understand the 'me first' thing here but it's the foreigners who walk around with superior attitudes that I could easily fall out with.

Well don't lose your .... But it's true

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[geriatrickid]

Thais usually give way to me. Perhaps my scowl serves as a warning. Non English speaking foreigners, particularly the typical junketeers do not yield. (The exception are the Scandanavians.) Some foreigners shove everyone aside. Leaders in such behaviour are the same ones that cut lines. Japanese and Chinese from Singapore will yield. Chinese from China and Taiwan will not. Honestly, I think it is cultural.

Have you ever noticed that the pretty women never bump into you? I have yet to have anyone good looking, male or female walk into me. It's always the fuglies. I would gladly take a mispass with a hottie. Instead I get the slob with the rose tattoo on her leg or boob or the guy with the gut and stained singlet. Young people and the elderly are the only ones that seem to have the concept of sharing sidewalks and entries understood.

[arminbkk]

Thais usually give way to me. Perhaps my scowl serves as a warning. Non English speaking foreigners, particularly the typical junketeers do not yield. (The exception are the Scandanavians.) Some foreigners shove everyone aside. Leaders in such behaviour are the same ones that cut lines. Japanese and Chinese from Singapore will yield. Chinese from China and Taiwan will not. Honestly, I think it is cultural.

Have you ever noticed that the pretty women never bump into you? I have yet to have anyone good looking, male or female walk into me. It's always the fuglies. I would gladly take a mispass with a hottie. Instead I get the slob with the rose tattoo on her leg or boob or the guy with the gut and stained singlet. Young people and the elderly are the only ones that seem to have the concept of sharing sidewalks and entries understood.

I did not study it in depth so can't guess the nationalities, but can distinct enough to recognize whether it is a Thai or Indian.

I cannot remember a pretty woman bumping into me, so can see your point!

But like I said, I usually make the effort to make way, even for a pretty woman

[GuestHouse]

I see examples of this every working day - at the office elevators.

The idea that passengers in the elevator might want to get out before other passengers get in is lost on a very large percentage of the people working in the building. The resulting jam in the elevator door is too often an opportunity for someone at the back of the queue to slip through the gap and barge their way into the lift.

Trainman (⋕3) can take comfort in me not having said anything about the nationality of the people who do this.

[JAS21]

Ah ... a suggestion by a previous poster on this subject Look down when walking and the other person will move around you ... try it you will be surprised.

[Sayonarax]

The best way to navigate a crowded sidewalk is to look far ahead and keep walking to the location.

[PaullyW]

Some good points here.

I want to add that Thais are likely to see the Western manner of "walking with purpose" as overly aggressive or conceited. Thais tend to meander and dawdle around in a style that says "I have nowhere to go, and I won't rush".

[carra]

walking without barging is not easy here as it is nigh on impossible to walk in straight line away on the footpath here because most of the time is spent dodging telegraph poles, telephone boxes, stalls, beggars, motorcyclists, cyclists, gossiping women standing chatting, retards walking out of 7/11 without glancing either way, and mostly the dawdlers, the majority of thais that although the probably do have somehwre to go,. they just idle slowly as though they have no destination.

Personally I am as polite as i was back home, i give a little and like to be given a little.

[LucidLucifer]

When walking, I've always thought it was simply a lack of spacial awareness. Thai's haven't got a lot.

Driving is a different matter.

[Payboy]

The best way to navigate a crowded sidewalk is to look far ahead and keep walking to the location.

Or just use a motorcy.

[pattayadingo]

I simply move to one side a bit and if they do not move they have contact with me. I am generally heavier. I stiffen the shoulder on that side and they tend to bounce off. I say sorry in Thai or excuse me and carry on my merry way.

Give and take seems to have gone down the pan in so many ways, sadly.

[Morakot]

I think, it's something to do with interpersonal spacing. If you are from a Northern or Western European, or North American “Anglo-Saxon” context, you may feel the space when passing a random person in a public place in Thailand can be too low for comfort. I think it's a cross-cultural difference in honouring interpersonal space. It may feel even more intensified if one has previously resided in less urban settings.

[eeeya]

I think, it's something to do with interpersonal spacing. If you are from a Northern or Western European, or North American “Anglo-Saxon” context, you may feel the space when passing a random person in a public place in Thailand can be too low for comfort. I think it's a cross-cultural difference in honouring interpersonal space. It may feel even more intensified if one has previously resided in less urban settings.

Tend to agree with you. I've noticed with some middle eastern work mates they tend to walk too close along side me when we're walking n talking.

Another kazakstani workmate commented on how us Australians gave way to others when walking or driving.

Bangkok is very multi cultural and I too have observed the previous posters comments on the difference in asian / western comfort zones when in close proximity to others.

To my observations there not nearly close to the Russians and their 'me me me' mentality.

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[partington]

I noticed this after about three weeks living here. It became an obsession for a while...When I was out walking I used to count the number of times a Thai person would needlessly bump into me or force me to rapidly change course to avoid a collision.

The worst times are when you are both walking parallel and are not any where near a collision course. In these cases Thais will often veer directly into your path for no discernable reason.

After satisfying myself that it wasn't my imagination or unconscious racism, just a real cultural difference, it became less annoying and now I can pretty much ignore it.

I think the reason is, as many have already mentioned, a combination of Asian lack of need or recognition of personal space, sheer indifference to any one not personally known to you, and just being generally in a bit of a daze.

Edited July 9, 2012 by partington

[mr3cho]

I noticed this as well in the hustle and bustle of BKK and also became a bit obsessed with it. As far as I could observe it is not out of malice or superiority or loss of face(is that the default nowadays).

Firstly, as I observed it is somewhat dependent on your walking pace and speed. If you walk faster than others, you'll have to dodge and give way more. If you walk slower than everyone else, they tend to move around you. Try it.

Secondly, it has to do with your combined mass. If you are 2+ people or larger, people tend to walk around. Conversely, if you are walking alone, a group may plow right through you. Regardless of Thai or not.

Third, people seem to give way to people that look of power for obvious reasons.

Fourth, if the other people are chinese, all bets are off.

This is just my opinion and observation.

BTW, busy metropolitan cities, people are usually very ruthless. In NYC, a petite female friend of mine, new to the city, was shoulder checked to the icy pavement by an a-hole in a business suit because she didn't give way. Nearly knocked unconscious.

I've been told by the NYC locals as well that when walking in busy midtown/uptown, DONOT stop and obstruct the flow of walking traffic by looking up at the buildings, you get people very upset.

Edited July 9, 2012 by mr3cho

[Morakot]

[...]

I think the reason is, as many have already mentioned, a combination of Asian lack of need or recognition of personal space, sheer indifference to any one not personally known to you, and just being generally in a bit of a daze.

I think this is slightly misconstrued. It's not that the concept of personal space doesn't exist in Asian cultures. On the contrary, it's just the proximity is lower. While you feel that's “very close”, others would think that's “miles away” from where their personal space begins.

[ajarnpot]

The answer to your question is, I have the right of way. It is that simple. on the road , or on the pavement, I have the right of way, of course I will give way if I am about to be run over, eatern, attacked, see

I will charge in future

[Morakot]

The answer to your question is, I have the right of way. It is that simple. on the road , or on the pavement, I have the right of way, of course I will give way if I am about to be run over, eatern, attacked, see

I will charge in future

I will give way, right away to this ingenuous post.