Choice Of Woman?

[TommoPhysicist]

Yes point taken and I don't know why your post got everyone's back up because you're making an observation and asking a question about why a seemingly nice older guy was duped into marrying a girl who didn't like him.

I think what got everyone annoyed (well me anyway) was the assumption that only older men are duped into marrying a girl that doesn't like them. Almost every man marries at least one one woman who didn't like him (or grew to not like him). As Rod Stewart once said, "next time I think about marriage, I'm just going to go and find a woman I don't like and buy her a house."

To my fellow 50something TV readers do you honestly think that that pretty 20something is with us without factoring in other qualities that make up for our age? For example a steady income, less of a wandering eye than a young guy and most of all that we're easier to catch than the young guys who want to continue to play the field. I've been very happily involved with a 20something for more than 5 years but I never was naive enough to think that my age was the attractive attribute that made her want to be with me. But I also made sure that I chose a Thai woman from a normal background, university education level and not a bar girl.

And the second annoying assumption, that a 20something woman is less trouble for a younger man. Let me tell you, 20something women are trouble for nearly every man they are with, no matter what his age. Especially in a country like Thailand where there is no religious influence towards monogamy. I doubt there are many attractive 20something Thai women without multiple lovers. At age 50 you really should have learnt 20something girls are for play only, you want more, start looking among the 30something women.

(trying not to be sexist, if any ladies wish to reverse the genders in my post, that works just as well)

Edited September 30, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[nietzche]

Yes point taken and I don't know why your post got everyone's back up because you're making an observation and asking a question about why a seemingly nice older guy was duped into marrying a girl who didn't like him.

I think what got everyone annoyed (well me anyway) was the assumption that only older men are duped into marrying a girl that doesn't like them. Almost every man marries at least one one woman who didn't like him (or grew to not like him). As Rod Stewart once said, "next time I think about marriage, I'm just going to go and find a woman I don't like and buy her a house."

To my fellow 50something TV readers do you honestly think that that pretty 20something is with us without factoring in other qualities that make up for our age? For example a steady income, less of a wandering eye than a young guy and most of all that we're easier to catch than the young guys who want to continue to play the field. I've been very happily involved with a 20something for more than 5 years but I never was naive enough to think that my age was the attractive attribute that made her want to be with me. But I also made sure that I chose a Thai woman from a normal background, university education level and not a bar girl.

And the second annoying assumption, that a 20something woman is less trouble for a younger man. Let me tell you, 20something women are trouble for nearly every man they are with, no matter what his age. Especially in a country like Thailand where there is no religious influence towards monogamy. I doubt there are many attractive 20something Thai women without multiple lovers. At age 50 you really should have learnt 20something girls are for play only, you want more, start looking among the 30something women.

(trying not to be sexist, if any ladies wish to reverse the genders in my post, that works just as well)

It's perfectly normal for a man of any age to want to have sex with beautiful women. Fine. But you shouldn't buy into the whole gf experience.

If you feel the need to have sex with a hooker then cool. But there's no need to marry her.

If you're looking for companionship/friendship, find a normal woman or a golf buddy.

Too many guys here getting crazy over the dregs in the bottom of the barrel.

You can't turn a whore into a house wife.

[TommoPhysicist]

You can't turn a whore into a house wife.

I would have liked your post if you hadn't ended it with that line.

Plenty of prostitutes eventually turn into very nice housewives ............ but IMHO not when they are 20.

Edited September 30, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[payak]

Me and the Mrs were in some western bar the other day and decide to have a bit of a giggle.

We both spotted this young guy sitting in the corner picking his spots.

You know the type - late 20's, polyester trousers, white shirt (sometimes with cheap tie) smug "look at me, I work in Thailand, I'm not a tourist" grin on his face.

He was blatantly staring at us, obviously infatuated with our relationship, my wife's good looks and slender body.

The plan was for the wife to strike up a conversation.in Thai along the lines of 'I hate my old husband' and see the guys reaction.

I played along, pretending not to understand what was being said. The Mrs played a blinder, even touching the poor guys leg at one stage. You should've seen the look on his face, obviously the type of guy who can't get a girlfriend because he looks at every Thai woman as a bargirl, doesn't really understand what is going on around him and doesn't earn enough money to give a woman the finer things in life.

After watching the poor kid squirm for a while we both got a bit bored of his terrible comprehension of the Thai language and decided to go home and have mind blowing sex. As we were leaving, I heard him say to his mate "I'm going to post about this on Thaivisa"

the best sex you ever had resulted from her sexual tension caused by finally having the chance to touch a young man for a fleeting moment.

the horror sex with an elder could now be shut out for a night and she could just close her eyes and imagine the man who's strong muscular leg she had been touching as she played her husbands game for a while.

long enough to just cop a feel to fuel her fantasy tonight and block out her husband during sex.

[nietzche]

You can't turn a whore into a house wife.

I would have liked your post if you hadn't ended it with that line.

Plenty of prostitutes eventually turn into very nice housewives ............ but IMHO not when they are 20.

Think of it more as a general rule and not a law.

[richard_smith237]

You can't turn a whore into a house wife.

I would have liked your post if you hadn't ended it with that line.

Plenty of prostitutes eventually turn into very nice housewives ............ but IMHO not when they are 20.

I think these two points alone define the difference of opinions in this thread.

One group find hookers or ex hookers as long time GF's perfectly acceptable, the other group recognises there are better and more viable alternatives (for them).

[Rob8891]

This thread has fulfilled all my expectations.......... unfortunately.

[payak]

one group refuses to accept there are nice girls in thailand, just because they have not experienced them, so they say wait and see young man,give it time, she will screw you.

still waiting, have children, never given her family a dam_n thing, thats the secret, give them nothing and if they stay for a long time then marry them.

to many try to buy love, more through fear of losing them then anything,girls have them on there knees crying like a woman, but in public they shout about how they control her.

get a girl of equal financial standing, similar age but not always a must, and treat each other respectfully and as equals.

if they leave at the start when you refuse to give them things you win, you got rid of the trash before you mistakenly married her.

and before it comes up my wifes not hi so chinese thai, they dont do it for me, just an isan girl whose family succeded through hard work and are doin as well as my family, we are not rich but equal.

believe it or not there are isan families doing ok through legit means.

[nietzche]

You can't turn a whore into a house wife.

I would have liked your post if you hadn't ended it with that line.

Plenty of prostitutes eventually turn into very nice housewives ............ but IMHO not when they are 20.

I think these two points alone define the difference of opinions in this thread.

One group find hookers or ex hookers as long time GF's perfectly acceptable, the other group recognises there are better and more viable alternatives (for them).

The folks who wife up the prostitutes are the same people who spend their days sitting in the bar all day drinking 15 - 20 big Heinekens.

As another TV member pointed out; people with similar interests tend to be attracted to each other.

Also note; there is a lot of talk about "hi society Chinese-Thai"?

Most of my Thai friends are from normal middle class backgrounds, went to uni, and earn anywhere from 15 - 20k baht per month. Not exactly high society.

A normal educated female Thai 20-something lives quite easily off of 15 - 20k baht per month. Your typical bar girl would probably turn her nose up at such a salary.

And for those still defending the marrying of bar girls, don't underestimate cultural stigma of the profession in Thai society. Once you are seen with those types of women you will be shunned by the professional/respectable Thai's.

Edited September 30, 2012 by nietzche

[brewsterbudgen]

Oh god....more of the same old BS. This has been done to death. get a life.

....and furthermore, I strongly suspect your bar was under a rather rickety old bridge

Yep! same as I thought, just another way of having a Pop at the old fellas with gorgeous young wives or GFs, YaaawwwN.

No one is having a "pop" at the old fellas. Just don't don't understand why fellas "old or young" choose to marry prostitutes.

Would you marry a prostitute back in your home country?

If you fell in love with one, why not?

[TommoPhysicist]

Some posters are just snobs.

Having a TEFL and 25k a month income doesn't make you a better person.

Edited September 30, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[nietzche]

Oh god....more of the same old BS. This has been done to death. get a life.

....and furthermore, I strongly suspect your bar was under a rather rickety old bridge

Yep! same as I thought, just another way of having a Pop at the old fellas with gorgeous young wives or GFs, YaaawwwN.

No one is having a "pop" at the old fellas. Just don't don't understand why fellas "old or young" choose to marry prostitutes.

Would you marry a prostitute back in your home country?

If you fell in love with one, why not?

For the same reasons that you shouldn't adopt dogs from the animal shelter that have been subjected to severe abuse.

Only takes the slightest provocation to set one off. Very volitive. Same applies to bar girls.

[nietzche]

Some posters are just snobs.

Having a TEFL and 25k a month income doesn't make you a better person.

I think you have this forum confused with Ajarn

[thaibeachlovers]

Oh god....more of the same old BS. This has been done to death. get a life.

....and furthermore, I strongly suspect your bar was under a rather rickety old bridge

Yep! same as I thought, just another way of having a Pop at the old fellas with gorgeous young wives or GFs, YaaawwwN.

No one is having a "pop" at the old fellas. Just don't don't understand why fellas "old or young" choose to marry prostitutes.

Would you marry a prostitute back in your home country?

Do you think that "prostitutes" = crack crazed AIDS raddled bitches?

Back home I knew a few absolutely lovely drop dead gorgeous women that happened to work as "prostitutes" and I'd have been happy to marry them ( providing they found alternative employment ) except that they were already married or living with someone. Fact is, they were nicer than many of the "non prostitute" women I knew, some of whom were total sluts, and most of whom were rather unpleasant.

Edited September 30, 2012 by thaibeachlovers

[samran]

Some posters are just snobs.

Having a TEFL and 25k a month income doesn't make you a better person.

Aiming high in life there Tommo?

[GuestHouse]

Julia Roberts has a lot to answer for.

[thaibeachlovers]

Yep! same as I thought, just another way of having a Pop at the old fellas with gorgeous young wives or GFs, YaaawwwN.

No one is having a "pop" at the old fellas. Just don't don't understand why fellas "old or young" choose to marry prostitutes.

Would you marry a prostitute back in your home country?

If you fell in love with one, why not?

For the same reasons that you shouldn't adopt dogs from the animal shelter that have been subjected to severe abuse.

Only takes the slightest provocation to set one off. Very volitive. Same applies to bar girls.

And you say this from your extensive experience of living with prostitutes?

Post modified to allow posting.

Edited September 30, 2012 by thaibeachlovers

[Rob8891]

For the same reasons that you shouldn't adopt dogs from the animal shelter that have been subjected to severe abuse.

Only takes the slightest provocation to set one off. Very volitive. Same applies to bar girls.

Your post creates a dilemma for me. I cannot decide if you are a;

1. mysogynist

2. troll.

3. very ignorant person

4. combination of any or all of the above

You should be ashamed of yourself referring to (other) human beings as animals.

PS. The word is V O L A T I L E

[lovelaos]

Me and the Mrs were in some western bar the other day and decide to have a bit of a giggle.

We both spotted this young guy sitting in the corner picking his spots.

You know the type - late 20's, polyester trousers, white shirt (sometimes with cheap tie) smug "look at me, I work in Thailand, I'm not a tourist" grin on his face.

He was blatantly staring at us, obviously infatuated with our relationship, my wife's good looks and slender body.

The plan was for the wife to strike up a conversation.in Thai along the lines of 'I hate my old husband' and see the guys reaction.

I played along, pretending not to understand what was being said. The Mrs played a blinder, even touching the poor guys leg at one stage. You should've seen the look on his face, obviously the type of guy who can't get a girlfriend because he looks at every Thai woman as a bargirl, doesn't really understand what is going on around him and doesn't earn enough money to give a woman the finer things in life.

After watching the poor kid squirm for a while we both got a bit bored of his terrible comprehension of the Thai language and decided to go home and have mind blowing sex. As we were leaving, I heard him say to his mate "I'm going to post about this on Thaivisa"

the best sex you ever had resulted from her sexual tension caused by finally having the chance to touch a young man for a fleeting moment.

the horror sex with an elder could now be shut out for a night and she could just close her eyes and imagine the man who's strong muscular leg she had been touching as she played her husbands game for a while.

long enough to just cop a feel to fuel her fantasy tonight and block out her husband during sex.

And the sad little boy went home, had a w*nk, thought about how sad his life is because he can't understand why women are not attracted to him, then posted his rant on the internet to make himself feel better.

Perhaps when he grows up, opens his eyes and stops judging all Thai women with western men as prostitutes, he will then start to attract the opposite sex.

[thaibeachlovers]

I think too many on this thread are being overly defensive.

No one has an issue with an old fellow being with a younger woman. It's the 'type' of woman that is the issue here.

There are many attractive normal Thai women who have decent jobs and an education who would be happy to be in a relationship with a nice westerner (regardless of age).

The issue is that too many men come here and get tied up with the bar girl types when there are plenty of better options out there for them.

What better options?

Where would you meet better options?

Why would a 'better option' even to talk to you?

What makes you think an educated girl with a good job would be a better bet? (wouldn't they just expect more from you?)

Where would you meet better options? The same places you meet women back in your home country.

Why would a 'better option' even talk to you? The same reason a woman may want to talk to you back in your home country.

What makes "" educated girl ......? It's just my opinion that a woman who doesn't have sex with thousands of men for money would probably be more stable/trustworthy.

Finding a woman is not rocket science. You just need to apply the same methods you probably did back in your home country:

1. Develop a personality

2. Go to the gym, exercise, dress well and maintain good personal hygiene.

3. Learn to speak Thai. It's not difficult and it will open up a whole new world of options regarding women.

Given that the only women "back home" that would go out/ have sex with me at my age look like my granny used to, I think I'll pass on that ( I'm not interested in going out with Thai grannies either ).

On second thoughts, they probably wouldn't have sex with me either, as they would probably just be looking for "company" in their old age.

[nietzche]

And you say this from your extensive experience of living with prostitutes?

Post modified to allow posting.

No, when I was young we adopted a border collie with one eye from the animal shelter.

Sometimes he was o.k. then all of a sudden just bite one of us for no reason.

He just wasn't "family pet" material. Eventually we had to get rid of him after he bit an Indian fellow.

[nietzche]

Me and the Mrs were in some western bar the other day and decide to have a bit of a giggle.

We both spotted this young guy sitting in the corner picking his spots.

You know the type - late 20's, polyester trousers, white shirt (sometimes with cheap tie) smug "look at me, I work in Thailand, I'm not a tourist" grin on his face.

He was blatantly staring at us, obviously infatuated with our relationship, my wife's good looks and slender body.

The plan was for the wife to strike up a conversation.in Thai along the lines of 'I hate my old husband' and see the guys reaction.

I played along, pretending not to understand what was being said. The Mrs played a blinder, even touching the poor guys leg at one stage. You should've seen the look on his face, obviously the type of guy who can't get a girlfriend because he looks at every Thai woman as a bargirl, doesn't really understand what is going on around him and doesn't earn enough money to give a woman the finer things in life.

After watching the poor kid squirm for a while we both got a bit bored of his terrible comprehension of the Thai language and decided to go home and have mind blowing sex. As we were leaving, I heard him say to his mate "I'm going to post about this on Thaivisa"

the best sex you ever had resulted from her sexual tension caused by finally having the chance to touch a young man for a fleeting moment.

the horror sex with an elder could now be shut out for a night and she could just close her eyes and imagine the man who's strong muscular leg she had been touching as she played her husbands game for a while.

long enough to just cop a feel to fuel her fantasy tonight and block out her husband during sex.

And the sad little boy went home, had a w*nk, thought about how sad his life is because he can't understand why women are not attracted to him, then posted his rant on the internet to make himself feel better.

Perhaps when he grows up, opens his eyes and stops judging all Thai women with western men as prostitutes, he will then start to attract the opposite sex.

Keep living the lie my friend.

If that get's you out of bed in the morning then be my guest....

[brewsterbudgen]

For the same reasons that you shouldn't adopt dogs from the animal shelter that have been subjected to severe abuse.

Only takes the slightest provocation to set one off. Very volitive. Same applies to bar girls.

This post says everything about your attitude to women. Just because you might have had problems with bargirls in the past, doesn't make you an expert on the subject. Perhaps your problems with Thai women are caused by your own, judgmental attitude towards other people.

[giddyup]

And you say this from your extensive experience of living with prostitutes?

Post modified to allow posting.

No, when I was young we adopted a border collie with one eye from the animal shelter.

Sometimes he was o.k. then all of a sudden just bite one of us for no reason.

He just wasn't "family pet" material. Eventually we had to get rid of him after he bit an Indian fellow.

They say dogs are a good judge of character.

Edited September 30, 2012 by giddyup

[richard_smith237]

For the same reasons that you shouldn't adopt dogs from the animal shelter that have been subjected to severe abuse.

Only takes the slightest provocation to set one off. Very volitive. Same applies to bar girls.

This post says everything about your attitude to women. Just because you might have had problems with bargirls in the past, doesn't make you an expert on the subject. Perhaps your problems with Thai women are caused by your own, judgmental attitude towards other people.

Where does it say he has had any problems with Thai women?

Although he makes his point in a somewhat abrasive, potentially offensive and direct manner nietzche strikes at a valid point.

My Wife and I were recently at a nice Japanese restaurant, a guy walks in with two *hookers, the guy appears to recognise that he's in a nice and polite establishment, the girls do not. They are loud, swearing, when he asks them to be quiet I hear one of them saying..."So what, I don't give a f£$k about other people".... We endure a further 10 minutes, they are on the table behind us and keep knocking the divide into my wife... looking around its not comfortable for anyone in the restaurant.

After we have eaten, paid our bill and get up to leave the guy with the two girls apologies to me, he's clearly embarrassed....

He is the sort of guy the Op is talking about - He's made a bad choice even if its for one evening... he's now running scared, the girls are clearly volatile... the dogs might bite... I was also scared too... I was concerned that these poor excuses for humanity might escalate a situation and I'd have to become someone I don't want to be and react, we left as quickly as we could, part of our evening ruined.

I agree, not all BG's are like this, but lets face it, there is a higher probability they are than a normal person. nietzche's example while extreme has a point.

(*this has been answered earlier on in the thread, but I'll explain again, if it walks and quacks like a duck...)

Edited September 30, 2012 by richard_smith237

[richard_smith237]

I think too many on this thread are being overly defensive.

No one has an issue with an old fellow being with a younger woman. It's the 'type' of woman that is the issue here.

There are many attractive normal Thai women who have decent jobs and an education who would be happy to be in a relationship with a nice westerner (regardless of age).

The issue is that too many men come here and get tied up with the bar girl types when there are plenty of better options out there for them.

What better options?

Where would you meet better options?

Why would a 'better option' even to talk to you?

What makes you think an educated girl with a good job would be a better bet? (wouldn't they just expect more from you?)

Where would you meet better options? The same places you meet women back in your home country.

Why would a 'better option' even talk to you? The same reason a woman may want to talk to you back in your home country.

What makes "" educated girl ......? It's just my opinion that a woman who doesn't have sex with thousands of men for money would probably be more stable/trustworthy.

Finding a woman is not rocket science. You just need to apply the same methods you probably did back in your home country:

1. Develop a personality

2. Go to the gym, exercise, dress well and maintain good personal hygiene.

3. Learn to speak Thai. It's not difficult and it will open up a whole new world of options regarding women.

Given that the only women "back home" that would go out/ have sex with me at my age look like my granny used to, I think I'll pass on that ( I'm not interested in going out with Thai grannies either ).

On second thoughts, they probably wouldn't have sex with me either, as they would probably just be looking for "company" in their old age.

Fair enough - good luck to you is what I and many others say. BUT, this thread also suggests that while you are choosing your attractive younger lady, choose well and don't fall for a morally substandard specimen when there are plenty of better, viable alternatives.

Maybe you have already found your 'better viable alternative' and this thread is simply not aimed at you.

But, we have all seen the train-wreck about to happen and some of us and the Op are wondering why these guys do it.

[TommoPhysicist]

But, we have all seen the train-wreck about to happen and some of us and the Op are wondering why these guys do it.

Because it's fun, the danger, the violence, the rough kinky sex ............ IT's FUN! (until it isn't fun)

[GuestHouse]

Given that the only women "back home" that would go out/ have sex with me at my age look like my granny used to, I think I'll pass on that ( I'm not interested in going out with Thai grannies either ).

If you accept that young women back home would not want to have sex with you then it is surely not so much a leap of logic to understand the OP is almost certainly making a valid observation.

The young woman he discusses would rather have a young guy - OK perhaps she wants the old man to pay the bills and buy the pretties but why on earth would you imagine she might not prefer a younger man in bed?

[TommoPhysicist]

The young woman he discusses would rather have a young guy - OK perhaps she wants the old man to pay the bills and buy the pretties but why on earth would you imagine she might not prefer a younger man in bed?

Do you think your maid enjoys washing your undies, or your gardener enjoys cutting your grass.

Why would you care what preferences any of your servants had (or what they do in their time off)?

Edited September 30, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[nietzche]

For the same reasons that you shouldn't adopt dogs from the animal shelter that have been subjected to severe abuse.

Only takes the slightest provocation to set one off. Very volitive. Same applies to bar girls.

This post says everything about your attitude to women. Just because you might have had problems with bargirls in the past, doesn't make you an expert on the subject. Perhaps your problems with Thai women are caused by your own, judgmental attitude towards other people.

Where does it say he has had any problems with Thai women?

Although he makes his point in a somewhat abrasive, potentially offensive and direct manner nietzche strikes at a valid point.

My Wife and I were recently at a nice Japanese restaurant, a guy walks in with two *hookers, the guy appears to recognise that he's in a nice and polite establishment, the girls do not. They are loud, swearing, when he asks them to be quiet I hear one of them saying..."So what, I don't give a f£$k about other people".... We endure a further 10 minutes, they are on the table behind us and keep knocking the divide into my wife... looking around its not comfortable for anyone in the restaurant.

After we have eaten, paid our bill and get up to leave the guy with the two girls apologies to me, he's clearly embarrassed....

He is the sort of guy the Op is talking about - He's made a bad choice even if its for one evening... he's now running scared, the girls are clearly volatile... the dogs might bite... I was also scared too... I was concerned that these poor excuses for humanity might escalate a situation and I'd have to become someone I don't want to be and react, we left as quickly as we could, part of our evening ruined.

I agree, not all BG's are like this, but lets face it, there is a higher probability they are than a normal person. nietzche's example while extreme has a point.

(*this has been answered earlier on in the thread, but I'll explain again, if it walks and quacks like a duck...)

Yes, the analogy was maybe a little on the harsh side, but the underlying idea still holds.

My ex girlfriend back in NY was a teacher. She had her masters in special education and taught children who came from really rough backgrounds. She was one of those people who really cared and believed in her work.

She would spend an entire school year trying to help a kid and the family, then out of nowhere the kid would turn on her. She has been attacked by kids, had her money stolen, etc. Bear in mind this is a 5 foot 5, 23 year old Chinese American girl being threatened by 17 - 18 year old black males.

My point is that these women have sex with thousands of men (some really shady men too). The sheer mental toll that takes on a person no doubt leads to personality issues (much like my example).

Whether it's a bar girl, ex con, kid from the ghetto, etc. If you are going to get screwed, you will get screwed big time. Doesn't matter how much kindness you show.

Now who wants to go through that? for what?

If you want to help someone, or be a knight in shining armor, there are a lot more noble causes out there.