What's The Big Deal About Marrying A Girl You Met In A Bar ?

[kurnell]

You're too cynical mate

But funny you've got to admit.

At Baccara they've got no such line, every girl's got to agree in advance to take it that way with any customer that likes it as a pre-condition to the (very lucrative) employment. Difference between Belgian and French management styles I presume.

Really? Well, I'll be buggered!

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Really? Well, I'll be buggered!

Up to you? Is that where "sod off" comes from?

Whereas stateside they'd think you're talking about a shotgun. . .

[rgs2001uk]

Ok no problemo.

I can understand where the bitterness jealousy and resentment comes from, you have just explained it. We dont all live in some one buffalo town in the middle of nowhere. My experiences come from living in Bkk and Chan.

And where is this fabled Chan?

Note that the majority of Thais live outside of the large population centres.

Coupled with the facts that the majority of Thais have received very little decent education, and the majority of Thais are dirt poor even by local standards.

So you tell me which represent "the real Thailand" - your rarified circles or the one most of us mix with that you and your snobby friends put down as buffaloes ?

I know which I would much prefer to have my back in a pinch, and which I'd prefer to direct any efforts at building true community and family connections. I find upper-class Thais to be insufferable bores and snobs, often lacking in even the most basic human virtues of tolerance and kindness toward others less fortunate.

"And where is this fabled Chan?"

Nothing fabled about it, its Chanthaburi, sometimes referred to as Chan, in much the same way that Kanchanaburi is shortened to Kan.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Nothing fabled about it, its Chanthaburi, sometimes referred to as Chan, in much the same way that Kanchanaburi is shortened to Kan.

Aha, famous as a fruit district in certain seasons, I think that's where some of my teerak's have wanted me to go, rent a van and go tour the orchards, visit their rellies while we're at it.

Anything else there IYO worth a visit above and beyond the usual charms of rural countryside and provincial towns?

[rgs2001uk]

I'm not sure why people are so concerned about other people's opinions on who they choose as a wife.

More attention ought to be paid to the opinions of the bride to be and the lies we all tell ourselves.

It's the Thai Visa mix. 1 braggart, "I can only assume you were never a Premier account holder with HSBC.

Would it also be safe to assume you have had no dealings with either Aberdeen or ING in Thailand?

Would I also be correct in assuming you have never visited the Sindthorn building on Wireless Rd?"

2. A couple of guys who actually know some Thai people and tell the braggart off. And. 3. Guys who know nothing about Thai women mouthing platitudes.

It gives the thread legs.

The braggart was answering a question, at least one other poster agreed with what I said, but dont let the facts interfere with your negativity.

Was one of those who told the braggart off the same guy who said poor Thai men dont have mia nois?

Funny how we both live in the same country yet have differing experiences.

Your finances or lack of are of no concern to me.

[rgs2001uk]

Nothing fabled about it, its Chanthaburi, sometimes referred to as Chan, in much the same way that Kanchanaburi is shortened to Kan.

Aha, famous as a fruit district in certain seasons, I think that's where some of my teerak's have wanted me to go, rent a van and go tour the orchards, visit their rellies while we're at it.

Anything else there IYO worth a visit above and beyond the usual charms of rural countryside and provincial towns?

Personally I prefer the north of Soi Dao, decent golf course, and the clean fresh air is a pleasure after spending time in Bkk, althogh not a beach person the beaches are well worth a visit, the dog loves it there.

Wat Kao Sukim is also well worth a visit, I am not a religious person but this isnt the normal see one you've seen them all wat.

Edited October 27, 2012 by rgs2001uk

[Berkshire]

Where oh where are you meeting these people?

Out of the say 2000 Thais I've met between 15 and 25 over the past few years, maybe twenty can hold a conversation above the stock 20 sentences starting with "where you come from"?

mostly 20-30 yo uni educated Thais in Bangkok.

Again out of the thousands of uni students I've been teaching over the years, including those on their way to studying for higher education degrees in English-speaking countries, only a very small minority have a decent level of English.

I know for a fact that if you objectively tested every Thai who graduated locally with a degree in the English language you would find they averaged maybe 3, I doubt beyond 4.

And I'm pretty sure this would be a higher level than 95% of the population you cite, 99.999% of the age population removing the tertiary graduation filter.

Which makes the wider generalization a total crock.

I agree with you, BigJohnny. Fact is, most university educated Thai girls do not speak much English. The ones who majored in English may do a little better, but even then--as you pointed out--they still don't converse well in English and definitely prefer to converse in Thai.

Are farangs in Thailand aware that university education in Thailand is taught almost exclusively in Thai? (not including international programs, of course) I can never understand why some farangs bring up this "uni educated" point to demonstrate English proficiency. There is ZERO correlation. As a percentage, more uneducated Thai BGs speak passable English than "uni educated" Thai girls. I sh*t you not. And don't bother bringing up "exceptions"....I'm talking the vast majority.

[DrTuner]

At the end of the day it's not about where you met your other half!

It's all about the now, the present and the future.

Many seem to thing past dictates the future. There's some truth to it, if a hardened BG and a jaded monger get together, the chances of them being seen at the cover of the gossip magazines as the ideal couple is a bit slim. Though actually they'll probably do very well, being a good fit.

[cheechoo]

You're too cynical mate

But funny you've got to admit.

At Baccara they've got no such line, every girl's got to agree in advance to take it that way with any customer that likes it as a pre-condition to the (very lucrative) employment. Difference between Belgian and French management styles I presume.

so many girls so little barfines. I really doubt it is a lucrative place to work @ except for the fortunate few!

[watcharacters]

my wife will put her arm up a pigs what sit,, not a problem,

it is after all the things that make you both happy in life that counts,

There is a name for this stuff, videos too.

She would be popular in NZ.

The vids may be stopped at customs. 555 ASk Tezza.

[chiangmaikelly]

You're too cynical mate

But funny you've got to admit.

At Baccara they've got no such line, every girl's got to agree in advance to take it that way with any customer that likes it as a pre-condition to the (very lucrative) employment. Difference between Belgian and French management styles I presume.

so many girls so little barfines. I really doubt it is a lucrative place to work @ except for the fortunate few!

How many would you consider a few?

[eslteacher]

so my wife speaks english, do people learn to read and write english in bars as well.

dont often see bar girls walking around wth pens.

her father and brothers speak english to, and write, perhaps they are barman.

wake up people, bg have limited terrible english, thats why they work in bars because they are uneducated.

If thats the case 99% of Thai people are uneducated because when you venture outside of the touristy areas, english speaking Thai people are extremely hard to find.

[tingtongtourist]

I'd agree with the uneducated working the bars. The educated work in closed clubs.

Yes but very funny this..why is lady that work in bar uneducated but still she speak better english than any lady that go to university or even the one who have professional and governemt job in BK.

I think many bargirl would speak better English than prime minister

[BigJohnnyBKK]

I think many bargirl would speak better English than prime minister

Perfectly logical.

A higher degree of motivation.

Constant exposure to and practice with native speakers.

I had one girl stay with me for a few years, absolutely refused to learn any English at all, because I'd commented to her about one of my previous ex's being a great student and ending up speaking perfectly after only eighteen months. (She also refused to drink Coke or ever visit the beach, since those are things I mentioned that ex like, crazy girl).

But she still ended up learning it just from hanging around me, even though we only spoke Thai to each other.

[chonabot]

I'd agree with the uneducated working the bars. The educated work in closed clubs.

Yes but very funny this..why is lady that work in bar uneducated but still she speak better english than any lady that go to university or even the one who have professional and governemt job in BK.

I think many bargirl would speak better English than prime minister

It's fairly simple really - if you are surrounded by people speaking another language - and that language is in this case English - you will inevitably pick the language up.

If you are taught to read and write English and really concentrate on the grammar - as the Thai education system currently does - you will be able to read and write English but your spoken communication skills will be as poor as most of the Thai English teachers who taught you.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

If you are taught to read and write English and really concentrate on the grammar - as the Thai education system currently does - you will be able to read and write English but your spoken communication skills will be as poor as most of the Thai English teachers who taught you.

And if only learned that second language from schooling, and then stop using the language for an extended period of time you will gradually forget it. Use it or lose it!

[tingtongtourist]

If you believe in marriage as a good thing and as a foundation of family, life long relationships and indeed as possitive contributor to the good of wider society, and I personally do believe this, then the background of any married couple is irrelevant.

Man and wife deserve respect of others in their marriage.

Mote than that, marriage is from time to time not an easy path for everyone - If you believe in marriage then you ought also support people in their marriage.

Snide criticism based on a fraction of understanding undermines people and the marriage they are making.

Choose your wife as you will, if others are to weak to respect her it says nothing of you or you wife.

My respect to anyone who chooses to make a go of a marriage - regardless.

Good to say, but what do the average thai girl who the farang will meet think of ...the purpose of marriage is for ........

Also my respect to any farang who make a go of marriage with someone he cant speak in same language and more so if asian

Edited October 27, 2012 by tingtongtourist

[tingtongtourist]

I'd agree with the uneducated working the bars. The educated work in closed clubs.

Yes but very funny this..why is lady that work in bar uneducated but still she speak better english than any lady that go to university or even the one who have professional and governemt job in BK.

I think many bargirl would speak better English than prime minister

It's fairly simple really - if you are surrounded by people speaking another language - and that language is in this case English - you will inevitably pick the language up.

If you are taught to read and write English and really concentrate on the grammar - as the Thai education system currently does - you will be able to read and write English but your spoken communication skills will be as poor as most of the Thai English teachers who taught you.

I do not disagree with this, only to ask, why then do the farang not pick up Thai after they live here 5 or 10 year?

Bar girl cannot afford to go school or tuition so they have motivation for learn ENG ? is *****

If thai BG learned all her Englsih when first in school then maybe she realize herself she want to become BG, even then.??

BG motivated to learn for ***** but farang want good wife but still not motivate to speak or learn Thai. what is wrong?

Maybe this why some farang choose BG ?

[chiangmaikelly]

I'd agree with the uneducated working the bars. The educated work in closed clubs.

Yes but very funny this..why is lady that work in bar uneducated but still she speak better english than any lady that go to university or even the one who have professional and governemt job in BK.

I think many bargirl would speak better English than prime minister

It's fairly simple really - if you are surrounded by people speaking another language - and that language is in this case English - you will inevitably pick the language up.

If you are taught to read and write English and really concentrate on the grammar - as the Thai education system currently does - you will be able to read and write English but your spoken communication skills will be as poor as most of the Thai English teachers who taught you.

I do not disagree with this, only to ask, why then do the farang not pick up Thai after they live here 5 or 10 year?

Bar girl cannot afford to go school or tuition so they have motivation for learn ENG ? is *****

If thai BG learned all her Englsih when first in school then maybe she realize herself she want to become BG, even then.??

BG motivated to learn for ***** but farang want good wife but still not motivate to speak or learn Thai. what is wrong?

Maybe this why some farang choose BG ?

Many years ago I was going to college to learn to speak Thai and my then BG GF would not let me sleep, she wanted to party all night long and did everything in her power to sabotage my learning. I then changed women and had a woman who helped me learn. Later with a cute farm girl we spoke only Thai as she had no desire at all to learn any English. Now; wife speaks a number of different languages so no problem.

[chonabot]

I do not disagree with this, only to ask, why then do the farang not pick up Thai after they live here 5 or 10 year?

Because the Farang can make himself understood in Thai by shouting loudly and waving 1000 baht notes at all and sundry

[DrTuner]

why then do the farang not pick up Thai after they live here 5 or 10 year?

It's harder for a 60y old to pick up a language than for an 18y old. Young studs do pick up Thai.

[elektrified]

Good Point - So i'm correct in the assumption that all falangs think because you have an Asiatic wife you met under less selubiuos circumstances.

This sterio type is a hard one to crush in the western world no matter how hard you try.

Unlucky, as soon, there are tattoos to spot on the wife: It's proved!

How many 'non-Bar Girls' do you know / have you seen, with a tattoo, that is not easy to hide??

That is ridiculous. There are professional Thai women with tattoos who have never worked in a bar. My good friend in BKK has a full back tattoo. She is a fashion designer and has never been a sex worker.

[nontabury]

why then do the farang not pick up Thai after they live here 5 or 10 year?

It's harder for a 60y old to pick up a language than for an 18y old. Young studs do pick up Thai.

Partly true, although I did read about a 84 yr old lady, who had just pasted GCE A level

In a foreign language. Then again some of us,even when we were younger,we're no good at languages,in my case even in my native language,English.

[TommoPhysicist]

That is ridiculous. There are professional Thai women with tattoos who have never worked in a bar. My good friend in BKK has a full back tattoo. She is a fashion designer and has never been a sex worker.

If you say it often enough, you just might start believing that.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

If you say it often enough, you just might start believing that.

No there definitely are "modern women" here for whom looking like a street hooker is all the fashion even if they only give it away "for free" like back home.

To me just as much trouble as the ones back home, and I wouldn't be attracted to anyone looking like that anyway.

Not that they'd have me either, so just as well it all works out.

Thank God we all have different tastes, wouldn't do at all to have us all competing for the same girls would it 8-)

[MRGTINGTONG]

What is factually wrong in my post?? The price of a good meal?

The titty flashing in corners. Never seen it, except in Songkran and those were katoyes.

Then take a trip to Hua Hin, walk the barstreet (s), pass the many "massageshops" where the ladies sitting outside are not shy to lower their bra, showing their tits, while saying the magic words" massage" . Even doing it, if you are just passing on your motorbike.

Been to hua hin many times and i,v never seen this done, maybe my eye sight aint what it used to be

[roamer]

I'd agree with the uneducated working the bars. The educated work in closed clubs.

Yes but very funny this..why is lady that work in bar uneducated but still she speak better english than any lady that go to university or even the one who have professional and governemt job in BK.

I think many bargirl would speak better English than prime minister

It's fairly simple really - if you are surrounded by people speaking another language - and that language is in this case English - you will inevitably pick the language up.

If you are taught to read and write English and really concentrate on the grammar - as the Thai education system currently does - you will be able to read and write English but your spoken communication skills will be as poor as most of the Thai English teachers who taught you.

I do not disagree with this, only to ask, why then do the farang not pick up Thai after they live here 5 or 10 year?

Bar girl cannot afford to go school or tuition so they have motivation for learn ENG ? is *****

If thai BG learned all her Englsih when first in school then maybe she realize herself she want to become BG, even then.??

BG motivated to learn for ***** but farang want good wife but still not motivate to speak or learn Thai. what is wrong?

Maybe this why some farang choose BG ?

You don't "pick up" Thai, it really is not a process of osmosis, you need to make a conscious effort. Most farangs don't.

A Uni educted Thai will have pretty crap spoken English until he/she spends sometime in the West, then their English will leapfrog that of a BG who may well have lived there for decades. It's simple, they understand the grammar rules, to use the plural form for example, for the most part that doesn't,t exist in Thai..

Actually given the emergence of the Far East as an economic powerhouse one can't help wondering if the definition of a Thai bar girl in the future will be someone who comes over to the West to cruise the bars looking for a suitably subservient male.

[Chittychangchang]

What is factually wrong in my post?? The price of a good meal?

The titty flashing in corners. Never seen it, except in Songkran and those were katoyes.

Then take a trip to Hua Hin, walk the barstreet (s), pass the many "massageshops" where the ladies sitting outside are not shy to lower their bra, showing their tits, while saying the magic words" massage" . Even doing it, if you are just passing on your motorbike.

Been to hua hin many times and i,v never seen this done, maybe my eye sight aint what it used to be

Me neither, i think he is refering to that city near the sea where the women have more tatoos statistically than anywhere else on the planet.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

You don't "pick up" Thai, it really is not a process of osmosis, you need to make a conscious effort. Most farangs don't.

Speak for yourself, I certainly did. Doesn't have much to do with the target language as much as the aptitude and motivation of the learner, and the extent of their day-to-day contact with the language.

Just design your life so you have little contact with people that speak English, and are in constant daily contact with people that don't and the situation will force you to communicate in their language. Do that long enough and it sinks in. For some faster and more easily than others.

Of course you will learn faster and "deeper" by taking formal lessons, understanding grammar rules, learning to read and write etc, but for pure verbal communication needs, the natural immersion technique is built into our brain's capacity.

I like the idea of a future where Thai girls are cruising bars in our home countries looking to rent/buy boy toys on the cheap. Probably not that far off from future reality. . .

[chiangmaikelly]

The titty flashing in corners. Never seen it, except in Songkran and those were katoyes.

Then take a trip to Hua Hin, walk the barstreet (s), pass the many "massageshops" where the ladies sitting outside are not shy to lower their bra, showing their tits, while saying the magic words" massage" . Even doing it, if you are just passing on your motorbike.

Been to hua hin many times and i,v never seen this done, maybe my eye sight aint what it used to be

Me neither, i think he is refering to that city near the sea where the women have more tatoos statistically than anywhere else on the planet.

Chiang Mai is not by the sea.