Fiancee Wants Salary

[rgs2001uk]

With any luck, the OP will post in about a week or so and say, my EX fiance wanted a salary, but I told her to hit the road.

Wake up man and smell the bacon.

[heatherm]

10,000 is way too much on top of lots of pocket money. Stop giving any pocket money and switch to a monthly deposit. It might be cheaper. If you are thinking of getting married it will be a good way to see how she handles cash. If she always needs more before the end of the month, run. No one can know what she is thinking about her future except her. In the past, I've made monthly "salary" deposits into my husband's account so he could show an income when applying for a tourist visa. He then used it to pay my rent, bills and add minutes to my phone There are many reasons, some good and some bad, for wanting cash coming into a bank account.

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[Morden]

Jeez, her request is as modest as can be. Think yourself lucky. I know wives who demand THB30,000 and upwards.

It's common for the ladies to worry about the future. They see others dumped by the fathers of their children with no financial support. I know of a few farang who have dome the same.

If your wife and girlfriend doesn't work, then only an uncommitted farang would be so mean as to refuse support. Even if she's working, a few Baht each month from farang might be reasonable.

I see and hear too many farang who expect their girlfriends to give all and they give nothing in return. Selfish bastards.

[rsokolowski]

3000 baht a month is not much, she probably wants it to help her family out. I don't see this as unreasonable. Your other options are having her get a job likely with a low salary, or taking the advice of others on this forum.. I have been married for almost twenty years and do not feel that helping out is unreasonable especially if it is cheap (3000 baht) and it makes your wife happy. This is a woman that you are thinking about being married to, is 3000 baht (about 100 USD) spending money per month really a deal breaker? If it is I woulf suggest that marriage might not be for you.

Good luck.

[waza]

haha just buy her love, after all she deserves it.

[rsokolowski]

3000 baht a month is not much, she probably wants it to help her family out. I don't see this as unreasonable. Your other options are having her get a job likely with a low salary, or taking the advice of others on this forum.. I have been married for almost twenty years and do not feel that helping out is unreasonable especially if it is cheap (3000 baht) and it makes your wife happy. This is a woman that you are thinking about being married to, is 3000 baht (about 100 USD) spending money per month really a deal breaker? If it is I woulf suggest that marriage might not be for you.

Good luck.

Just read the part about the 10,000 baht,and it gives me concern. You need to follow your heart, but also use your head you need to look at this realistically. I do not know your situation but I would be very careful and look at all the signs that are available to you. There are normally indications that that a person is squirrelly if you look for them. Tell her you think she should work and are against a 10,000 baht salary (from her husband) and see what her reaction is. That might be all you need to know.

I have been married for twenty years and my wife handles all our finances and pays all the bills (here in the USA), I trust her completely and that is why we have been married for so long. She is better with my money than I am. Good luck.

[Pinot]

Cheap Charlie posts a question and the rest of the Cheap Charlies pile on. If $100/mo too much you don't deserve a girlfriend. Taking care of all expenses and traveling is part of the package.

I pay my wife not to work. I'm treated like a king.

[cbrer]

Moving from one job to another.

What is she going to be doing all day now?

Presumably washing, cleaning, ironing, mopping etc. as she is your paid housewife?

[cbrer]

Cheap Charlie posts a question and the rest of the Cheap Charlies pile on. If $100/mo too much you don't deserve a girlfriend. Taking care of all expenses and traveling is part of the package.

I pay my wife not to work. I'm treated like a king.

Only one?

The Burmese girls are only 15,000 each and you own them forever. A real man has three tending to his every need.

[jackk]

You are lucky, she asks only for 2,000 bath/month to save in the bank. She's too cute, if I were you, I would marry her right away !

My wife needs at least 10K a month, and she will not save it to the bank, she will spend it right away

It seems you have never been married before?

[cbrer]

Most people on here have their Sino-Thai wife giving them 150k p/m from their family fortune anyway, so probably the wrong forum to ask on.

[rotary]

My guess is she will start small, demand increases all the time, and will end up being a pain in the butt that is expensive. Move on now while you can unless you feel like being an ATM Machine to your loved one.

[cbrer]

A thousand baht per week will make her feel like she has some independence rather than depending on being with you 24/7.

How about getting a job....?

Apparently she has a job already.

But you know, wants to stay at home with the farang giving her a monthly salary instead.

Thais are easily influenced, she's probably been told or heard stories that farangs always give their Thai partners money, why isn't she being taken care of? Her cousin's friend has a farang giving her 60,000b per month, why isn't she getting that? Is her farang bad, no good, not give money to Thai? Not take care girlfriend? You farang rich, have money, why you not give me money?

Edited February 3, 2013 by cbrer

[TommoPhysicist]

I think we really need to see a photo of both the OP and his employee in order to give a valid opinion on the level of her monthly compensation.

[TallGuyJohninBKK]

You are lucky, she asks only for 2,000 bath/month to save in the bank. She's too cute, if I were you, I would marry her right away !

My wife needs at least 10K a month, and she will not save it to the bank, she will spend it right away

You seem to have missed the Op's subsequent post where his original expectation the lady wanted a couple thousand now suddenly has blossomed to her asking for 10K.

[landslide]

Once my girlfriend (now my wife) and I established a firm relationship, I would keep her purse in cash, usually around B$10,000. She then paid for virtually everything we did, whether just having diner or drinks, or shopping and travel. I generally carry no more than B$3 to B$4000 on me at any time. She has never given me any reason to doubt her honesty or frugality. Frankly, she is pretty careful with money. She has always put money away for the future, long before she met me. When we are buying something for the household, she sits down and calculates whether we can afford it now, or should wait till later. Now that we are married, I involve her in understanding the investments I have made in stocks and savings, as well as preparing the yearly tax returns we must file. She also has access to accounts with an ATM card and a VISA and AMEX. I want her to understand these in case anythiing happens to me. As to the OP, salary may be an unfortunate choice of words. At least she is thinking about the future. With my wife, we talked long and hard about our future. I believe she thinks of it in the same vein as I do, which is marriage is a partnership. We need to think together as much as possible to make this a success.

[cbrer]

I know a few people with income streams of about 60-80k p/m.

They have families and give their wife a set 40k p/m which she uses to pay for all the bills and shopping etc. which takes care of everything 'household' and whatever she does with the rest.

Probably rent or mortgage 10k. Bills 5k. Vehicle 10k. Shopping 10k, change for whatever 5k. They don't know and don't care as long as the bills are paid and everything is taken care of.

[WildChilli]

Going by the OP's original post and the follow up he's paying for dayly living expenses , travel + Some pocket money ( unknown figure ) would love to know that figure ...

Age you and her ?

Location bigger City small village ?

Are you working ?

What was she earning before you met her ?

All factors relevant to what and how her needs for spending $ is

No one in their right mind likes not having some form of independence in the form of $ to spend and some form of $ securety for worst case scenario in the future .. EA you might drop dead get run over by a car or even run of with a younger model Leving her with nothing

But 10k on top of pocket money and all expenced paid sounds to me like profiteering on the basis of being with a for foreigner

Personaly I'd Run leving her now and laugh while doing

[NoshowJones]

If she wants only spending money.

Let her go back to work and earn it.

Same as most other peple have to do.

She should have some pocket money, or should I say some purse money, if the boot was on the other foot, would you not want some pocket money?

[NoshowJones]

Its called pocket money, not salary..

2000 baht a month is not much if you intend to make her your permanent partner. But the nagging part...you better make your stand clear as the man of the house, or else the naggings' going to get worse. I am a woman too;)

As you're a woman wouldn't you have already walked away from someone with OP's attitude?

NO she want a salary in addition to the pocket money I give to her and paying all the expenses ,,,, she wants to move money from my bank to her bank. Probably I think to give to the next boyfriend???

Putting a positive spin on the situation maybe she needs to support members of her family/children, common in Thailand.

I would not give her any money to support her family, that's when all the cousins and in laws etc appear. If she wants to support her family, let her work to do it, although it would be nice to help her financially with any children she may have.

[Morden]

Once my girlfriend (now my wife) and I established a firm relationship, I would keep her purse in cash, usually around B$10,000. She then paid for virtually everything we did, whether just having diner or drinks, or shopping and travel. I generally carry no more than B$3 to B$4000 on me at any time. She has never given me any reason to doubt her honesty or frugality. Frankly, she is pretty careful with money. She has always put money away for the future, long before she met me. When we are buying something for the household, she sits down and calculates whether we can afford it now, or should wait till later. Now that we are married, I involve her in understanding the investments I have made in stocks and savings, as well as preparing the yearly tax returns we must file. She also has access to accounts with an ATM card and a VISA and AMEX. I want her to understand these in case anythiing happens to me. As to the OP, salary may be an unfortunate choice of words. At least she is thinking about the future. With my wife, we talked long and hard about our future. I believe she thinks of it in the same vein as I do, which is marriage is a partnership. We need to think together as much as possible to make this a success.

A nice post, a refreshing change from some of the negative clap trap above.

[somtampet]

so u wernt paying her before u got engaged????

i f she cant work and get money for herself dump her,she is no good

Edited February 4, 2013 by somtampet

[NoshowJones]

To expand on my post -- I showed the post to her and she said " NO NO I want 10,000 Baht into my (her) bank from your (my) bank each month". I had thought she wanted 3000. And also to respond to all the replies about pocket money -- I keep her purse full of spending money and she does not have to beg to buy her girl needs. And to the posters yes I agree that giving her travel is for my benefit but do you not agree that a Thai lady will also benefit from travel and learning about other cultures? Mike

There are many posters who think it is a good idea to pay a woman to live with them, I am not one of those posters.

Find someone new with their own house, transport and income. You don't need to provide everything for a Thai woman, there are many that would be happy to just live with you for the enhanced lifestyle you would provide.

When I decided I wanted a Thai wife and to live in Thailand, It was important to me that she was working. When we both decided we were for each other, I paid off the mortgage on her house, replaced her old truck with a new one, and bought new furniture for the house. She has her money and I have mine, although I do help with our living expenses, electric, water, internet.

[nidieunimaitre]

I know a few people with income streams of about 60-80k p/m.

They have families and give their wife a set 40k p/m which she uses to pay for all the bills and shopping etc. which takes care of everything 'household' and whatever she does with the rest.

Probably rent or mortgage 10k. Bills 5k. Vehicle 10k. Shopping 10k, change for whatever 5k. They don't know and don't care as long as the bills are paid and everything is taken care of.

I was in that situation, and felt good about it.

Mutual respect, people are equals, the face of restaurant waiters when the woman pays,... yes, typical european thinking by me.

Untill I found out that lots of money was going to my wife's family.

I found out by accident, because her sons were not happy about BF of daughter asking for more money..

Now I pay all bills, after all, I am the man, I have the money, I have the ATM card, I respect thai culture.

[somtampet]

been with my gf for 8 years and i have never given her a set amount,but until she could go back to work( her son was learning english) i did look after her financialy,but she didnt go out clubbing or drinking heavy,or even gambling. i paid all the bills and if she wanted her hair cut,she got money out of my wallet,after asking me,of course,then put the change back in my wallet.

Now i can communicate well with her son,she has been working again for over 3 years and we use her money also,especialy as she earns thai baht and the baht/gbp is donw,we can save on that.She knows how the will works in Thailand and has seen the one in uk for my son,telephone numbers are at hand for half my pension,access to info about the house, pin number for my accounts in Thailand,and copies of my savings bond/stocks and shares,and who to contact..She hasnt tried

to kill me once,strange aint it ?????

[Morden]

To expand on my post -- I showed the post to her and she said " NO NO I want 10,000 Baht into my (her) bank from your (my) bank each month". I had thought she wanted 3000. And also to respond to all the replies about pocket money -- I keep her purse full of spending money and she does not have to beg to buy her girl needs. And to the posters yes I agree that giving her travel is for my benefit but do you not agree that a Thai lady will also benefit from travel and learning about other cultures? Mike

There are many posters who think it is a good idea to pay a woman to live with them, I am not one of those posters.

Find someone new with their own house, transport and income. You don't need to provide everything for a Thai woman, there are many that would be happy to just live with you for the enhanced lifestyle you would provide.

When I decided I wanted a Thai wife and to live in Thailand, It was important to me that she was working. When we both decided we were for each other, I paid off the mortgage on her house, replaced her old truck with a new one, and bought new furniture for the house. She has her money and I have mine, although I do help with our living expenses, electric, water, internet.

Same here. On the other hand, if the lady doesn't work, it's no reason on its own to end the relationship. If my wife had no business it would make no difference to our relationship except that I would happily pay her a monthly allowance as well as continuing to pay the bills.

There are too many expats. who want to take and not give. At least that's what they say on forums. Perhaps they are different away from the keyboard.

[somtampet]

I know a few people with income streams of about 60-80k p/m.

They have families and give their wife a set 40k p/m which she uses to pay for all the bills and shopping etc. which takes care of everything 'household' and whatever she does with the rest.

Probably rent or mortgage 10k. Bills 5k. Vehicle 10k. Shopping 10k, change for whatever 5k. They don't know and don't care as long as the bills are paid and everything is taken care of.

I was in that situation, and felt good about it.

Mutual respect, people are equals, the face of restaurant waiters when the woman pays,... yes, typical european thinking by me.

Untill I found out that lots of money was going to my wife's family.

I found out by accident, because her sons were not happy about BF of daughter asking for more money..

Now I pay all bills, after all, I am the man, I have the money, I have the ATM card, I respect thai culture.

nice one,pick a girl that doesnt have to send money to family though,much easier,if she doesnt drink or gamble or smoke,even better.I must have picked well lol

[nidieunimaitre]

I know a few people with income streams of about 60-80k p/m.

They have families and give their wife a set 40k p/m which she uses to pay for all the bills and shopping etc. which takes care of everything 'household' and whatever she does with the rest.

Probably rent or mortgage 10k. Bills 5k. Vehicle 10k. Shopping 10k, change for whatever 5k. They don't know and don't care as long as the bills are paid and everything is taken care of.

I was in that situation, and felt good about it.

Mutual respect, people are equals, the face of restaurant waiters when the woman pays,... yes, typical european thinking by me.

Untill I found out that lots of money was going to my wife's family.

I found out by accident, because her sons were not happy about BF of daughter asking for more money..

Now I pay all bills, after all, I am the man, I have the money, I have the ATM card, I respect thai culture.

nice one,pick a girl that doesnt have to send money to family though,much easier,if she doesnt drink or gamble or smoke,even better.I must have picked well lol

You lucky b......... , I envy you.

By the way. My wife does not gamble or drink or smoke. AND. She does not have family that desperately needs money. But she is thai....

[somtampet]

I know a few people with income streams of about 60-80k p/m.

They have families and give their wife a set 40k p/m which she uses to pay for all the bills and shopping etc. which takes care of everything 'household' and whatever she does with the rest.

Probably rent or mortgage 10k. Bills 5k. Vehicle 10k. Shopping 10k, change for whatever 5k. They don't know and don't care as long as the bills are paid and everything is taken care of.

I was in that situation, and felt good about it.

Mutual respect, people are equals, the face of restaurant waiters when the woman pays,... yes, typical european thinking by me.

Untill I found out that lots of money was going to my wife's family.

I found out by accident, because her sons were not happy about BF of daughter asking for more money..

Now I pay all bills, after all, I am the man, I have the money, I have the ATM card, I respect thai culture.

nice one,pick a girl that doesnt have to send money to family though,much easier,if she doesnt drink or gamble or smoke,even better.I must have picked well lol

You lucky b......... , I envy you.

By the way. My wife does not gamble or drink or smoke. AND. She does not have family that desperately needs money. But she is thai....

if she is thai,thats a good start lol

[Amusements]

If she wants 10k a month now, how much is she going to demand after you get married? Infact I would love to know how much the dowry is going to be.

I was in your position 4 years ago, before I got married, and I ended up giving my now ex-wife 5k a month, but only because she gave up her job and had to support her son back in the village. This was on top of me paying all the bills and spending money ect. After getting married, things got worse, and no matter how much I spent, or gave her, it was never enough. She always went on about how her friends were getting more money/gold than her.