More From Scotland

I was testing children in my Glasgow Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting into heaven.

I asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big jumble sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?"

"NO!" the children answered.

"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden and kept everything tidy, would that get me into heaven?"

Again, the answer was "No!"

By now I was starting to smile.

"Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave sweets to all the children and loved my husband, would that get me into heaven?"

Again, they all answered "No!"

I was just bursting with pride for them.

I continued, "Then how can I get into heaven?"

A six year old boy shouted, "Yuv got tae be fukin' dead"