Who Wai's Who?

[richard_smith237]

when in Rome do what the Romans do... the wai is the same as out handshake , then why not do it .. it is not big deal , it shows the people of this country respect just as we would like them to do in our countries.

I have heard many long-term foreigners here say "do as the Romans do" when it comes to not wearing helmets, driving drunk, and generally ill-behaving in ways that they would not dream of in their own countries. Yet when it comes to customs/traditions, something so important as to how to greet properly and show respect, they can't be bothered. Not talking about tourists or short term visitors.

Worst are the long term residents who married locals and can't be bothered about wais and other Thai traditions. And they have the gall to complain that they are treated as second-class, uncivilised, uneducated citizens and only tolerated as providers. Well, that's a fact, isn't it?

I find those foreigners who wai everyone are usually treated with most contempt.

But would you agree that there is an appropriate middle ground? Not many on here are debating the merits of Wai'ing everyone or no one at all, and those who are debating 'Wai'ing no one or everyone' are easily ignored.

The interesting part of the discussion (for me at least) are the idiosyncrasies we apply with each situation... i.e. Who, how, where and when...

with a bow, without, finger tips to the nose, mouth, forehead or just the chest, or even simply a nod of the head in response... Older, Younger, higher position, friends, strangers, contemporaries, meeting for the first time, meeting for the first time in the day etc etc.. the dynamics are quite complex.. For each person the dynamic changes slightly and for westerners (any many Thai's) its easy to get it wrong, but I consider that making the effort to get it right is the most important.

[TommoPhysicist]

when in Rome do what the Romans do... the wai is the same as out handshake , then why not do it .. it is not big deal , it shows the people of this country respect just as we would like them to do in our countries.

I have heard many long-term foreigners here say "do as the Romans do" when it comes to not wearing helmets, driving drunk, and generally ill-behaving in ways that they would not dream of in their own countries. Yet when it comes to customs/traditions, something so important as to how to greet properly and show respect, they can't be bothered. Not talking about tourists or short term visitors.

Worst are the long term residents who married locals and can't be bothered about wais and other Thai traditions. And they have the gall to complain that they are treated as second-class, uncivilised, uneducated citizens and only tolerated as providers. Well, that's a fact, isn't it?

I find those foreigners who wai everyone are usually treated with most contempt.

But would you agree that there is an appropriate middle ground? Not many on here are debating the merits of Wai'ing everyone or no one at all, and those who are debating 'Wai'ing no one or everyone' are easily ignored.

The interesting part of the discussion (for me at least) are the idiosyncrasies we apply with each situation... i.e. Who, how, where and when...

with a bow, without, finger tips to the nose, mouth, forehead or just the chest, or even simply a nod of the head in response... Older, Younger, higher position, friends, strangers, contemporaries, meeting for the first time, meeting for the first time in the day etc etc.. the dynamics are quite complex.. For each person the dynamic changes slightly and for westerners (any many Thai's) its easy to get it wrong, but I consider that making the effort to get it right is the most important.

Most people are fools, they wouldn't know a middle ground it jumped up and bit them.

Problem is they don't know they are fools so best to say to everyone don't do it at all.

Most us are older, richer and better educated .......... so they should wai us.

Edited March 5, 2013 by TommoPhysicist

[true blue]

TommoPhysicist, on 05 Mar 2013 - 15:47, said:

richard_smith237, on 05 Mar 2013 - 10:54, said:

TommoPhysicist, on 05 Mar 2013 - 09:31, said:

doggie888888, on 05 Mar 2013 - 09:07, said:

I have heard many long-term foreigners here say "do as the Romans do" when it comes to not wearing helmets, driving drunk, and generally ill-behaving in ways that they would not dream of in their own countries. Yet when it comes to customs/traditions, something so important as to how to greet properly and show respect, they can't be bothered. Not talking about tourists or short term visitors.

Worst are the long term residents who married locals and can't be bothered about wais and other Thai traditions. And they have the gall to complain that they are treated as second-class, uncivilised, uneducated citizens and only tolerated as providers. Well, that's a fact, isn't it?

I find those foreigners who wai everyone are usually treated with most contempt.

But would you agree that there is an appropriate middle ground? Not many on here are debating the merits of Wai'ing everyone or no one at all, and those who are debating 'Wai'ing no one or everyone' are easily ignored.

The interesting part of the discussion (for me at least) are the idiosyncrasies we apply with each situation... i.e. Who, how, where and when...

with a bow, without, finger tips to the nose, mouth, forehead or just the chest, or even simply a nod of the head in response... Older, Younger, higher position, friends, strangers, contemporaries, meeting for the first time, meeting for the first time in the day etc etc.. the dynamics are quite complex.. For each person the dynamic changes slightly and for westerners (any many Thai's) its easy to get it wrong, but I consider that making the effort to get it right is the most important.

Most people are fools, they wouldn't know a middle ground it jumped up and bit them.

Problem is they don't know they are fools so best to say to everyone don't do it at all.

Most us are older, richer and better educated .......... so they should wai us.

you forgot your handsome man in your comments tommo,very important in farrang culture. Edited March 5, 2013 by Crossy
fixed the quotes

[loong]

It must be a real quandary for those of you that are older than your Father and Mother-in-Laws.

Who wais first, you because they are your wife's parents or them because they are younger than you ??

[transam]

It must be a real quandary for those of you that are older than your Father and Mother-in-Laws.

Who wais first, you because they are your wife's parents or them because they are younger than you ??

Not really, ask Hugh Hefner, or Rod Stewart and zillions of others, we are all millionaires, eh . .

[TommoPhysicist]

It must be a real quandary for those of you that are older than your Father and Mother-in-Laws.

Who wais first, you because they are your wife's parents or them because they are younger than you ??

Not really, ask Hugh Hefner, or Rod Stewart and zillions of others, we are all millionaires, eh . .

My mate is 68 and his gf (cute) is 31 ......... he's way older than her parents.

[arthurwait]

It must be a real quandary for those of you that are older than your Father and Mother-in-Laws.

Who wais first, you because they are your wife's parents or them because they are younger than you ??

I've always wondered how many guys with younger MIL's have ended up in bed with them.

[richard_smith237]

It must be a real quandary for those of you that are older than your Father and Mother-in-Laws.

Who wais first, you because they are your wife's parents or them because they are younger than you ??

I've always wondered how many guys with younger MIL's have ended up in bed with them.

And whether she Wai's him or he Wai's her in the morning !

[transam]

It must be a real quandary for those of you that are older than your Father and Mother-in-Laws.

Who wais first, you because they are your wife's parents or them because they are younger than you ??

I've always wondered how many guys with younger MIL's have ended up in bed with them.

And whether she Wai's him or he Wai's her in the morning !

I think he is Wai lucky sod. ........................

[Ministry of Som Tam]

I wai for no man,I'm not Thai,therefore I don't wai,simple! Don't do it!

[inthepink]

Most us are older, richer and better educated .......... so they should wai us.

Are you saying that most of "you" marry badly educated girls from poor families, who are half your age? Edited March 5, 2013 by inthepink

[inthepink]

If you understand the Thai words, Pee and Nong (Thai script removed)

Pee is related to older brothers/sisters/friends whereas nong is the younger. Nong always wai Pee.

Thai for "Brother-in- law" can be Pee Kuhyee or Nong Kuhyee. (Thai script removed)

In this case though, the Pee or Nong refers to the age of the sister and not the actual brother-in-law.

So as you are married to this woman's younger sister, no matter how old you are, to her you are Nong Kuhyee

As Nong wais Pee, then you are expected to wai her, even though she is younger than you.

Hope that makes sense.

Mind you, as soon as you lend her money, everything shifts as your status has moved higher. Then she should be grateful to you and out of respect initiate the wai.

This whole wai-ing thing is difficult to understand totally.

I give my Father-in-law a small amount of money each month since he retired. When I gave him the money, he would wai me, this is because my status had changed as a provider. I had to tell him that it was not necessary and a simple thankyou was enough. Note that if his daughter gives him money, he would never wai her, because this is considered her duty.

According to my sources, this is completely wrong. You would not be expected to wai your wife's older brothers and sisters first if you are older than they are. Edited March 5, 2013 by inthepink

[Ministry of Som Tam]

I remember Thaksin at one point attempted to demand the whole Man City team wai him in the dressing room!

[shaggy1969]

Do the people that refuse to wai (for whatever reason) realize or even care that their actions are also being reflected on their wives/g/f's also?

[David48]

Life as it happens in Thailand.

Got to like the polite kids.

And yes ... to the younger folk ... a verbal response is fine.

EDIT ... the young boy above in the middle of the boat is a little intellectually challenged (hence the vest).

This was taken a few years ago ... he now is polite now ... almost to an extreme.

.

Edited March 5, 2013 by David48

[David48]

My experience is that, no matter what Culture, Country or relationship you decide to set up digs in ... a little common courtesy is always appreciated.

No man is an Island. If you try and be ... it's a very lonely place.

I don't have any great desire to be liked or to fit in. Like you, I'm my own man ... but to show some respect and to have in involvement with your local surrounds can be mutually rewarding.

An ex-girlfriend in my home country was the daughter of a sugar cane Farmer. I don't usually drink spirits ... but I learnt to drink Rum with her brothers.

In Thailand, it just seems to open so many more doors for you if you can show some appreciation of their Culture and that you have made an effort.

So yes ... I have tried to learn the etiquette of waing. The Thais are forgiving when I get it wrong and thankful when I get it right. Sounds like the perfect combination to me ...

[Dancealot]

In situations when i am confronted with elder Thais(Or any other Buddhist people) i feel obligated and humble to them so therefore I wai to them out of respect.

[Dancealot]

My experience is that, no matter what Culture, Country or relationship you decide to set up digs in ... a little common courtesy is always appreciated.

No man is an Island. If you try and be ... it's a very lonely place.

I don't have any great desire to be liked or to fit in. Like you, I'm my own man ... but to show some respect and to have in involvement with your local surrounds can be mutually rewarding.

An ex-girlfriend in my home country was the daughter of a sugar cane Farmer. I don't usually drink spirits ... but I learnt to drink Rum with her brothers.

In Thailand, it just seems to open so many more doors for you if you can show some appreciation of their Culture and that you have made an effort.

So yes ... I have tried to learn the etiquette of waing. The Thais are forgiving when I get it wrong and thankful when I get it right. Sounds like the perfect combination to me ...

Come to think of it.. What is a wrong wai for a farang?

I reckon when the wai's original intention cannot be acknowledged by the waiee.

If my show op respect(wai) is not mutually(between me and the waiee) funded then it's the better to greet western-style IMO.

Edited March 5, 2013 by Dancealot

[transam]

Do the people that refuse to wai (for whatever reason) realize or even care that their actions are also being reflected on their wives/g/f's also?

Yep, and it is expected that your new Thai love should show you a few things to ''fit'' in with folk. I have met a few old farangs who think they are better than the natives and just grunt when folk Wai them, the farangs years are respected. BUT, the natives Wai them every time with a smile even though they know a grunt will be returned.

[johnnycthedog]

Are you really as rude and arrogant in person as your postings would imply?

Far, far worse.

No he's just a very naughty boy. Actually I think he's the number one shit stirrer on TV and I always laugh at his responses. Would be a good guy to have a beer with.

[TommoPhysicist]

Most us are older, richer and better educated .......... so they should wai us.

Are you saying that most of "you" marry badly educated girls from poor families, who are half your age?

Yours is different?

[transam]

Most us are older, richer and better educated .......... so they should wai us.

Are you saying that most of "you" marry badly educated girls from poor families, who are half your age?

Yours is different?

......................

[inthepink]

Most us are older, richer and better educated .......... so they should wai us.

Are you saying that most of "you" marry badly educated girls from poor families, who are half your age?

Yours is different?

Judging from your posts and general attitude on this forum I think it's safe to say that my partner probably has absolutely nothing in common with yours. Edited March 6, 2013 by inthepink

[Dancealot]

How about a farang waing a farang? Anyone ever seen this apart from inside kickboxing ring ?

[shaggy1969]

Most us are older, richer and better educated .......... so they should wai us.

Are you saying that most of "you" marry badly educated girls from poor families, who are half your age?

Yours is different?

Judging from your posts and general attitude on this forum I think it's safe to say that my partner probably has absolutely nothing in common with yours.

No need to bring the posters wives or g/f's into this post........there's enough handbags being swung around this thread anyway !!!

[nidieunimaitre]

if a hand is offered palm upward it's a sign of openess and trust, if the hand is offered palm down then that would be a sign of soperiority.NO'P wrong agian...

It's not worth the effort.

Just remembered

If a Thai girl shakes your hand and taps her finger in the palm of your hand it means bed-time.

That was worth the effort after all.

Or she is a free mason.

[Dancealot]

if a hand is offered palm upward it's a sign of openess and trust, if the hand is offered palm down then that would be a sign of soperiority.NO'P wrong agian...

It's not worth the effort.

Just remembered

If a Thai girl shakes your hand and taps her finger in the palm of your hand it means bed-time.

That was worth the effort after all.

Or she is a free mason.

+ 2

[Ministry of Som Tam]

Has no-one made the connection between waiing everyone,then buying houses,cars etc for the family?Motability scooters for the sick buffalo etc?
It is a very sneaky Thai test of your malleability and gullibility,if they can get you to wai everyone then they know they can get you to hand over the ATM card and everything else!

Waiing is for wimps and suckers,that's all there is to it!

[shaggy1969]

Has no-one made the connection between waiing everyone,then buying houses,cars etc for the family?Motability scooters for the sick buffalo etc?

It is a very sneaky Thai test of your malleability and gullibility,if they can get you to wai everyone then they know they can get you to hand over the ATM card and everything else!

Waiing is for wimps and suckers,that's all there is to it!

I am sensing a very hurt and angry person here !!!

Is that what happened to you?.....time will heal those wounds and the scars will fade ( I Hope)

[Banzai99]

Most us are older, richer and better educated .......... so they should wai us.

Are you saying that most of "you" marry badly educated girls from poor families, who are half your age?

Yours is different?

Judging from your posts and general attitude on this forum I think it's safe to say that my partner probably has absolutely nothing in common with yours.

If she's about 40 Kgs, bet I knew her before you even knew where Thailand was, if she ain't, I wouldn't have bothered then, and I certainly wouldn't or couldn't be bothered now.

I like guys like you, idiots who set themselves up, freekin sap !