Think You're Having A Bad Day....

[redrus]

THINK YOU'RE HAVING A BAD DAY....

check out these actual cases....

A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in the

kitchen. While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally slipped

into gear.

The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged along as it

burst through the glass patio doors. His wife, hearing the crash, ran in

the room to find her husband cut and bleeding, the motorcycle and the

shattered patio door. She called for an ambulance and, because the house

sat on a fairly large hill, went down the several flights of stairs to

meet the paramedics and escort them to her husband.

While the attendants were loading her husband, the wife managed, with

some help to right the motorcycle and push it outside. She also quickly

blotted up the spilled gasoline with some paper towels and tossed them

into the toilet.

After being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the

shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went into

the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to

his business. About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs.

The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband

screaming. Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his trousers

blown away and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she once again

phoned for an ambulance. The same paramedic crew was dispatched.

As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance they

asked the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told them. They

started laughing so hard, one slipped, dropping the stretcher and

dumping the husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his

arm....

Still having a bad day?

Just remember, it could be worse...

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil

spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most

expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid

cheers and applause from onlookers..

A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking

frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running

from His waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away

from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood,

breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily

listening and dancing to his Walkman.

Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending

pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, ,Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand

pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly.

The two hopeless protesters were trampled to death.

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter

bomb.It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it

was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

There now, feeling better????

redrus

[daleyboy]

Excellent mate, but are they really true?

[redrus]

Excellent mate, but are they really true?

Would I lie...................

redrus

[suegha]

Some are true, some are 'exaggerated'...

[John_Betong]

Reminds me of another bad day...

Next time you have a bad day at work, think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to The X, 103.2 on your FM dial in Ft Wayne IN, who was sponsoring a "worst job experience" contest. Needless to say, she won.

Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you’ve been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it’s not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It’s a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: we have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.

Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I’ve used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It’s like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started toitch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don’t have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn’t stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with 5 other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive.

I was instructed to make 3 agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn’t poop for 2 days because my butthole was swollen shut. So, next time you’re having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.

Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."

Edited March 14, 2006 by John_Betong

[John_Betong]

and another

THINK YOU'RE HAVING A BAD DAY?

This article was taken from the California Examiner, March 20, 1998

Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned out section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back, flippers, and facemask.

A post-mortem revealed that the person died not from burns but from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive identification.

Investigators then set about to determine how a fully clad diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.

It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the person went for a diving trip off the coast some 20 miles from the forest. The firefighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, called in a fleet of helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and then flown to the forest fire and emptied. You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the Pacific, the next he was doing the breaststroke in a fire dip bucket 300 feet in the air.

[Plus]

That one was in the movie Magnolia. There the diver and the pilot have met just a day before in a casino. It was very complicated with the pilot commiting suicide, if I remember correctly.

[redrus]

John, I'm now having a great day, cheers fella.

redrus

[phibunmike]

Imagine you are a Siamese twin;

Your brother is gay, you are not;

He is having his boyfriend over tonight;

You share one arse..

Edited March 15, 2006 by phibunmike

[redrus]

Imagine you are a Siamese twin;

Your brother is gay, you are not;

He is having his boyfriend over tonight;

You share one arse..

Thats a really sick thought..............

redrus