Sinsod 1 Million Baht

[arthurwait]

Some could argue it is "Fear of failure" to get laid or ever get a woman that motivates some to pay Sinsod

Fear of failure to get laid in Thailand......

Maybe it's those that only have 50% success with bargirls or those that just keep meeting virgins.

[Thakkar]

he paid 800,000 baht for sinsod.

That explains it! A changing of the guard and Mum thinks it's payday again! Obviously inflation has crept into it as well.

How about a decrease in the price since she is older and has otherwise been well used by the previous boyfriend? And Mum has already been paid for her contribution anyway.... You have been asked to pay new car prices for an older model.

If your girl was so shallow as to break up with you over this then you should consider yourself very lucky.

To describe a woman as "well-used", and an "old car" and then go on, in the very next sentence to accuse *her* of being shallow if she rejects a man over money is the height of irony.

T

The analogy to an old car and well used may be harsh, but none the less is the bottom line. It could have been phrased more diplomatically I must admit. I don't thing she is shallow, just upset that her plan did not work.

Alls I'm saying is, if there were a contest for shallowness, you'd be a winner! Also, I don't see how you could have been "diplomatic" in depicting a woman as "well-used", because "diplomatic cad" is an oxymoron.

T

Edited April 15, 2013 by Thakkar

[Thakkar]

I wanted to be lighthearted about this, but it's hard to find any humor in the face of such a detestable onslaught of misogyny. So far on this thread, a woman/women has/have been depicted thusly:

20 bht is the right price [for her]

compared to a farm animal

well-used

Old car

damaged goods

2nd hand goods

Fresh product

new supply coming in daily

well-driven

spoiled goods

And, shockingly, such posts have received multiple "likes." To the posters who say such things: do you kiss your mothers and wives and daughters with that mouth? This way of thinking devalues your own kith and kin, not to mention yourselves.

T

[Louisblackbird]

Run like hell same thing happened to me in December

But she wanted a house building on her family's land at a cost of 2.7 million ฿

400,000 dowry

I already paid the deposit of 100,000

On the Mazda Hi Racer pick up

And a new Yamaha mx 49,000฿

So I refused and left

I don't regret a thing

I was with her 4 and a half years

Worth every penny

But she said to me

Now you've check binned

Ha ha

And she was a pharmacist assistant

You can't change them

Sime

You got away lightly

[JGV]

Sinsot is an old Thai custom It is 2013 now and not relevant. In many instances now it is all about face in the public eye

Do not get dragged into this as it is often used as an excuse to get you to part with your money

John

[rgs2001uk]

I wanted to be lighthearted about this, but it's hard to find any humor in the face of such a detestable onslaught of misogyny. So far on this thread, a woman/women has/have been depicted thusly:

20 bht is the right price [for her]

compared to a farm animal

well-used

Old car

damaged goods

2nd hand goods

Fresh product

new supply coming in daily

well-driven

spoiled goods

And, shockingly, such posts have received multiple "likes." To the posters who say such things: do you kiss your mothers and wives and daughters with that mouth? This way of thinking devalues your own kith and kin, not to mention yourselves.

T

Try living here and speaking to Thais on a daily basis, some of the things they come out with would shock most people, to them its normal.

My wife used to hate me talking to her grandmother because of the language and descriptions she used, known as a paak jat in Thai, my wife didnt want me to know this language and lived in fear of me ever using it for fear others would think she had taught it to me.

[dighambara]

Sin Sod is to be negotiated on, instead you apparently felt the need to insult her mother with an offer of 20 baht. No wonder your relation broke up.

You could have explained that in your culture sin sod is not done and you are not comfortable with it and start from there.

People surprise me by paying such blood money.

I have twice been married to Thai ladies but I always married legally, not through any non-binding village ceremony.

My first M-I-L was a great woman who accepted me as her son, never asking for anything, so I built her a house. My second M-I-L demands money at every turn, so I give her nothing. Meanwhile both marriages have been lenghty - the current one is the shortest, at only a decade. Yes, many Thai children, all properly educated.

[Thakkar]

rgs2001uk, on 15 Apr 2013 - 12:55, said:

Thakkar, on 15 Apr 2013 - 11:25, said:

I wanted to be lighthearted about this, but it's hard to find any humor in the face of such a detestable onslaught of misogyny. So far on this thread, a woman/women has/have been depicted thusly:

20 bht is the right price [for her]

compared to a farm animal

well-used

Old car

damaged goods

2nd hand goods

Fresh product

new supply coming in daily

well-driven

spoiled goods

And, shockingly, such posts have received multiple "likes." To the posters who say such things: do you kiss your mothers and wives and daughters with that mouth? This way of thinking devalues your own kith and kin, not to mention yourselves.

T

Try living here and speaking to Thais on a daily basis, some of the things they come out with would shock most people, to them its normal.

My wife used to hate me talking to her grandmother because of the language and descriptions she used, known as a paak jat in Thai, my wife didnt want me to know this language and lived in fear of me ever using it for fear others would think she had taught it to me.

Two wrongs don't make a right.

I do live here and speak and read basic Thai. No doubt the language can be crude, as with so many languages. I don't hear it being used crudely that often, even among the less educated. Granted, while I know people from various backgrounds, high and low, I don't know any farmers, construction workers or bar workers, so I can't speak to how things are with that section of society. Regardless of how "Thais" behave, talking about or thinking of women in the above mentioned terms should never be considered acceptable. As my grandfather used to tell me: "you don't treat others with courtesy because they are gentlemen, but because you are one."

T

[Krataiboy]

Historically, large Sin Sod dowries were paid to Thai parents ONLY for very young, beautiful daughters who were virgins.

Virginity was preserved precisely because it attracted wealthy wooers who could help lift the family's living standards..

While falang suitors are often relatively well off by Thai standards and frequently fully prepared to contribute to their new family's welfare, few end up with the undamaged goods which were the basis for traditionally hefty Sin Sod payments.

While 20 baht is clearly derisory, and a more generous donation would be more likely to endear a prospective son-in-law to the bride's parents, six figure sin sods are strictly for love-struck falangs with more money than sense.

In any case, in modern Thailand, where most girls are sent out to work to keep the family and few remain, er, pristine, Sin Sod has become largely symbolic.

At the last Thai/Thai wedding I attended, the dowry paid by the groom turned out to be simply for show (wer?). The money was subsequently handed back to the happy couple by the bride's parents, as a wedding gift.

Thai guests told me this procedure has become more or less standard practice. Among Thais, anyway.

[atyclb]

I wanted to be lighthearted about this, but it's hard to find any humor in the face of such a detestable onslaught of misogyny. So far on this thread, a woman/women has/have been depicted thusly:

20 bht is the right price [for her]

compared to a farm animal

well-used

Old car

damaged goods

2nd hand goods

Fresh product

new supply coming in daily

well-driven

spoiled goods

And, shockingly, such posts have received multiple "likes." To the posters who say such things: do you kiss your mothers and wives and daughters with that mouth? This way of thinking devalues your own kith and kin, not to mention yourselves.

T

I clicked the "like" button on your post because I do not perceive my loved ones in such a light. The seemingly derogatory terms are meant to depict and be applicable to women/families that use and abuse and exploit the sin sod as a money making venture or scam mainly directed at soft targets, foreigners that do not understand the implications fully.

I can speak Thai fairly well, read and write though not as fast or proficiently as a native. I have been with friends on holiday, been in bars, go gos, have played dumb and not shown any Thai ability.

I have heard some / many of these girls talk about foreigners in very derogatory nasty ways. I have heard a mother chewing out her daughter for not marrying a sick old guy instead of a relatively young healthy one.

And you know what, this mentality, this construct is in no way limited to bar girls. There are legions of women looking for financial support and no lack of university graduates living from month to month. Internet dating sites are filled with them.

This is just the reality and not the individuals fault but what socio-economic conditions and the patronage system produce.

[atyclb]

Thakkar system would not let me quote as there were too many already

"Alls I'm saying is, if there were a contest for shallowness, you'd be a
winner! Also, I don't see how you could have been "diplomatic" in
depicting a woman as "well-used", because "diplomatic cad" is an
oxymoron"

I have Thai female friends that are amazingly familiar with colloquial english expressions. They know 'old fart' 'dirty old man' 'dirty smelly old man' dirty smelly fat old man/geezer', 'wrinkled prune' 'white trash' and many more. I am not upset if they use these terms even if some of them are applicable to me So it can and does work both ways. Lighten up.

[Thakkar]

I wanted to be lighthearted about this, but it's hard to find any humor in the face of such a detestable onslaught of misogyny. So far on this thread, a woman/women has/have been depicted thusly:

20 bht is the right price [for her]

compared to a farm animal

well-used

Old car

damaged goods

2nd hand goods

Fresh product

new supply coming in daily

well-driven

spoiled goods

And, shockingly, such posts have received multiple "likes." To the posters who say such things: do you kiss your mothers and wives and daughters with that mouth? This way of thinking devalues your own kith and kin, not to mention yourselves.

T

I clicked the "like" button on your post because I do not perceive my loved ones in such a light. The seemingly derogatory terms are meant to depict and be applicable to women/families that use and abuse and exploit the sin sod as a money making venture or scam mainly directed at soft targets, foreigners that do not understand the implications fully.

I can speak Thai fairly well, read and write though not as fast or proficiently as a native. I have been with friends on holiday, been in bars, go gos, have played dumb and not shown any Thai ability.

I have heard some / many of these girls talk about foreigners in very derogatory nasty ways. I have heard a mother chewing out her daughter for not marrying a sick old guy instead of a relatively young healthy one.

And you know what, this mentality, this construct is in no way limited to bar girls. There are legions of women looking for financial support and no lack of university graduates living from month to month. Internet dating sites are filled with them.

This is just the reality and not the individuals fault but what socio-economic conditions and the patronage system produce.

To atyclb:

I'm gratified to receive your "like" because it proves me wrong where I'm happy to be proven wrong - about you. I happily retract my description of you as shallow.

I'm not unaware of what you describe, but, quite frankly, I haven't seen that much of it. When you're in a Chinese Restaurant on a Sunday morning in Melbourne, you'd think that the city was chock full of Chinese. Then when you look at the data, you realize that only 6% of Melburnians are ethnically Chinese. The same, I think, applies here; it depends on where one's looking, what one's looking for, or what one's "tuned" to. Or, maybe I just need to get out more, as people in these threads never tire of saying.

In any case, regardless of the behavior of some women, I find it distasteful to think of *any* women in such light as depicted above, even women who, through cultural brainwashing or whatever, might think of *themselves* in such manner.

Peace.

T

[Markaew]

To the OP: I don't have an opinion about paying sin sod or not, it is a cultural difference that you have to deal with together as you have to respect their culture but they should also respect your own culture.

But offering 20 baht was a bit tactless, even if it was only to the GF.

Mario, I respect what you are saying, but I have yet to see the Thais respect a foreigner's culture. They say this is Thailand and that's the end of it. In my personal situation I feel like I do all the respecting.

Plenty of Thais respect foreigners culture it just happens to be mostly higher educated wealthier ones.

I agree with your "the wealthier ones" statement but they respect the money not the culture. They could care less about or ignore your education because they don't want you superior to them.

Not in my experience.

Then your experience is a rare one. You are the only foreigner that I have seen make that statement.

[rbrooks]

Sinsod is just a polite Thai name for extortion.

[atyclb]

I agree with your "the wealthier ones" statement but they respect the money not the culture. They could care less about or ignore your education because they don't want you superior to them.

Not in my experience.
Then your experience is a rare one. You are the only foreigner that I have seen make that statement.

Most of my upscale thai friends simply are nice people and we relate to each other. We have things in common such as music, hobbies, careers, food, cooking, etc. I will say this, almost al of them have had the benefit of higher learning usually in a G7 english speaking country. Some great people at ABAC also. One guy became an engineer in the US but does try to sell me stuff a lot (his income is from MLM) My experience is not as rare as your perspective may perceive.
It seems a high % of expats are here to simply enjoy life and that means entertainment related stuff. They may not really care about professional networking as a means to meet different level people. I cannot blame them. Even living in pattaya sure beats being retired in montana watching the corn grow.

[atyclb]

Sinsod is just a polite Thai name for extortion.

Pay up or the pussycat finds a new litter box.

[Louisblackbird]

I agree with this it happened to me !

[F4UCorsair]

Sinsod is just a polite Thai name for extortion.

Right on the money there rbrooks!! It's a 'custom' that has long outlived its intention, and is now being milked for anything and everything that greed can devise.

[marquis22]

How much sin sod should I pay?

I am to marry a 40 yo never married, virgin? assistant bank manager.

She has always lived with her parents and buys all their food and 'needs'.

We will still have to keep up the payment of costs for her parents after marriage, the other siblings wont.

If I do pay sin sod for 'face value' I'm sure most would go to the divorced unemployed sister, living in big house with 2 **** sons.

[F4UCorsair]

How much sin sod should I pay?

I am to marry a 40 yo never married, virgin? assistant bank manager.

She has always lived with her parents and buys all their food and 'needs'.

We will still have to keep up the payment of costs for her parents after marriage, the other siblings wont.

If I do pay sin sod for 'face value' I'm sure most would go to the divorced unemployed sister, living in big house with 2 **** sons.

Do you want a simple answer or a complex answer?

The simple answer is NONE

>

>

>

>

The complex answer is NOTHING/ZILCH/ZERO/SFA

If you pay anything, it seems to me that you may as well give the freeloading siblings the money and save using the middle men parents as a go between

Edited April 16, 2013 by F4UCorsair

[rgs2001uk]

How much sin sod should I pay?

I am to marry a 40 yo never married, virgin? assistant bank manager.

She has always lived with her parents and buys all their food and 'needs'.

We will still have to keep up the payment of costs for her parents after marriage, the other siblings wont.

If I do pay sin sod for 'face value' I'm sure most would go to the divorced unemployed sister, living in big house with 2 **** sons.

Do you want the Thai answer or the farang answer.

Thai answer easy option, dont bother getting married just move into the parents house with her.

Thai answer slightly more expensive, dont bother getting married, rent a place she moves in with you, she carries on working and supports the parents.

Farang answer, up to you.

[atyclb]

How much sin sod should I pay?

I am to marry a 40 yo never married, virgin? assistant bank manager.

She has always lived with her parents and buys all their food and 'needs'.

We will still have to keep up the payment of costs for her parents after marriage, the other siblings wont.

If I do pay sin sod for 'face value' I'm sure most would go to the divorced unemployed sister, living in big house with 2 **** sons.

The other siblings won't help support their aging parents? Was that before or after they saw you in the picture?

As your gf is 40 then I can assume her aging parents are indeed aging and need help, as opposed to the aging 40 ish year old parents of numerous other Thai girls.

Why can't the unemployed sister rent the big house and live in a smaller more affordable place with her 2 (able bodied unemployed sons?) or perhaps they are children? I dont know.

I was working while in high school.

If you do choose to become the dole provider, when the sin sod is used up, guess what will happen?

I commonly hear from Thai girls, "if you love me you love my family" to which I reply. "please call me when they win the lottery"

How often do you see a middle class thai (male or female) marry into a poor family, or a family with financial problems? They know better.

So many foreigners attempt to create function where there only exists dysfunction.

A 40 y/o bank manager should be able to help her own family and siblings certainly must chip in. I highly doubt she'd even whisper the term "sin sod" to a thai man.

The reality is unless the woman is wealthy herself, some sort of celebrity and has good looks, the probability of catching a thai guy is very low.

I think some of the wisdom shared on this forum is way more valuable than any amount of sin sot. Just send me cash because I dont accept checks LOL

[rgs2001uk]

How much sin sod should I pay?

I am to marry a 40 yo never married, virgin? assistant bank manager.

She has always lived with her parents and buys all their food and 'needs'.

We will still have to keep up the payment of costs for her parents after marriage, the other siblings wont.

If I do pay sin sod for 'face value' I'm sure most would go to the divorced unemployed sister, living in big house with 2 **** sons.

The other siblings won't help support their aging parents? Was that before or after they saw you in the picture?

As your gf is 40 then I can assume her aging parents are indeed aging and need help, as opposed to the aging 40 ish year old parents of numerous other Thai girls.

Why can't the unemployed sister rent the big house and live in a smaller more affordable place with her 2 (able bodied unemployed sons?) or perhaps they are children? I dont know.

I was working while in high school.

If you do choose to become the dole provider, when the sin sod is used up, guess what will happen?

I commonly hear from Thai girls, "if you love me you love my family" to which I reply. "please call me when they win the lottery"

How often do you see a middle class thai (male or female) marry into a poor family, or a family with financial problems? They know better.

So many foreigners attempt to create function where there only exists dysfunction.

A 40 y/o bank manager should be able to help her own family and siblings certainly must chip in. I highly doubt she'd even whisper the term "sin sod" to a thai man.

The reality is unless the woman is wealthy herself, some sort of celebrity and has good looks, the probability of catching a thai guy is very low.

I think some of the wisdom shared on this forum is way more valuable than any amount of sin sot. Just send me cash because I dont accept checks LOL

How often do you see a middle class thai (male or female) marry into a

poor family, or a family with financial problems? They know better.

Many on here knock the Thais, only because they dont know how it works or what question to ask.

Thais have no problems with asking straight out, where did you graduate from, where do you work, how much do you earn, do you have your own house and car, were you married before, do you have children.

Also for the Thais its not two people getting married, its bringing two families together, normal middle class Thai rarely fing themselves in the company of the peasant class, and if they do they know so straight away, they wouldnt even consider these people as partners.

Many guys on here are no doubt in marriages the normal Thai wouldnt even consider.

The Thais I know shake their heads and ask me, why do these guys do it, I just say, up to them, what else can I say, the Thai attitude is, only a low person would marry a low person.

[Louisblackbird]

Wow a virgin at 40

Your a very lucky man

Is this your first Thai Relationship

Maybe a little hard to take in

I'd pay Nothing !!!

[AnotherOneAmerican]

How much sin sod should I pay?

I am to marry a 40 yo never married, virgin? assistant bank manager.

She has always lived with her parents and buys all their food and 'needs'.

We will still have to keep up the payment of costs for her parents after marriage, the other siblings wont.

If I do pay sin sod for 'face value' I'm sure most would go to the divorced unemployed sister, living in big house with 2 **** sons.

How old are you?

Are you a virgin?

Why would you marry someone who is 40?

Are the parents prepared to name you (or prospective wife) as sole heirs of house?

All questions that need answers before we can give an opinion.

If you are 27 year old English teacher, tradition says, she should pay you.

If you are 70 and a multi-millionaire, you should pay her.

Edited April 16, 2013 by AnotherOneAmerican

[atyclb]

How much sin sod should I pay?

I am to marry a 40 yo never married, virgin? assistant bank manager.

She has always lived with her parents and buys all their food and 'needs'.

We will still have to keep up the payment of costs for her parents after marriage, the other siblings wont.

If I do pay sin sod for 'face value' I'm sure most would go to the divorced unemployed sister, living in big house with 2 **** sons.

The other siblings won't help support their aging parents? Was that before or after they saw you in the picture?

As your gf is 40 then I can assume her aging parents are indeed aging and need help, as opposed to the aging 40 ish year old parents of numerous other Thai girls.

Why can't the unemployed sister rent the big house and live in a smaller more affordable place with her 2 (able bodied unemployed sons?) or perhaps they are children? I dont know.

I was working while in high school.

If you do choose to become the dole provider, when the sin sod is used up, guess what will happen?

I commonly hear from Thai girls, "if you love me you love my family" to which I reply. "please call me when they win the lottery"

How often do you see a middle class thai (male or female) marry into a poor family, or a family with financial problems? They know better.

So many foreigners attempt to create function where there only exists dysfunction.

A 40 y/o bank manager should be able to help her own family and siblings certainly must chip in. I highly doubt she'd even whisper the term "sin sod" to a thai man.

The reality is unless the woman is wealthy herself, some sort of celebrity and has good looks, the probability of catching a thai guy is very low.

I think some of the wisdom shared on this forum is way more valuable than any amount of sin sot. Just send me cash because I dont accept checks LOL

How often do you see a middle class thai (male or female) marry into a

poor family, or a family with financial problems? They know better.

Many on here knock the Thais, only because they dont know how it works or what question to ask.

Thais have no problems with asking straight out, where did you graduate from, where do you work, how much do you earn, do you have your own house and car, were you married before, do you have children.

Also for the Thais its not two people getting married, its bringing two families together, normal middle class Thai rarely fing themselves in the company of the peasant class, and if they do they know so straight away, they wouldnt even consider these people as partners.

Many guys on here are no doubt in marriages the normal Thai wouldnt even consider.

The Thais I know shake their heads and ask me, why do these guys do it, I just say, up to them, what else can I say, the Thai attitude is, only a low person would marry a low person.

First off I should have have mentioned that for a period of time I too tried to create function where there existed dysfunction. I am not the smartest person nor the dumbest but I learn from prior experiences. Some on these forums have interfaced with mainstream society, middle and even hi society. Some have dated middle and even hi society, though it seems to be the exception rather than the rule. Many are quite knowledgeable in regards to the so called sin sod.

While low end girls may be more uninteresting than middle class/hi-so, some expats find them desirable. Some figure they'd rather support a younger, slimmer attractive(perhaps?) girl in thailand than a girl they view as less desirable in their home country. The list of questions you posted above is also applicable to bar girls except they dont ask which university you graduated from as university is usually an abstract concept for them, in addition you can mention names of the most famous thai universities to them and typically they don't have a clue.

Guys that marry those girls either are willing to put up with it or some are simply naive. Or it beats watching the corn grow in their home countries.

My advice, get a 40 year old bank manager wife from Japan.

[marquis22]

How much sin sod should I pay?

I am to marry a 40 yo never married, virgin? assistant bank manager.

She has always lived with her parents and buys all their food and 'needs'.

We will still have to keep up the payment of costs for her parents after marriage, the other siblings wont.

If I do pay sin sod for 'face value' I'm sure most would go to the divorced unemployed sister, living in big house with 2 **** sons.

How old are you?

Are you a virgin?

Why would you marry someone who is 40?

Are the parents prepared to name you (or prospective wife) as sole heirs of house?

All questions that need answers before we can give an opinion.

If you are 27 year old English teacher, tradition says, she should pay you.

If you are 70 and a multi-millionaire, you should pay her.

I am 60, she is 40, she says she is a virgin, I put the ? there as she is not my first Thai relationship after visiting Thailand each year for the last 5 years.

We intend to build a house next door to parents house as it is more 'social' (her word) in the eyes of her peers and her work position to have her own house, renting is out of the question.

She classes herself as middle class and for sure as has been mentioned here, she would not contemplate a lower class Thai man or a Hi-So. Also in her words, marrying a farang is a rung above marrying a Thai in the eyes of her social set.

As long as he has money of course and not as she said in Thai slang " a sh*t of a man"

She wanted me to pay up front for the land and house but I said no-way. She has to borrow the money and I will pay it back from interest from my superannuation over about 6 - 7 years. She earns good money but spends it all, so got no savings, but says she will receive a payout from the bank (I guess same as super) when she retires.

No doubt the house will be in her name. I said what happens if she gets run over by a bus and she said her parents will let me stay in house or give me 50% if sold. From what I have seen when living in the house with them, they do seem sincere and nice people. ( We are engaged so were allowed to sleep together)

I presume the parents house will be divided up by the 2 daughters and 2 sons when the time comes, although my fiance has done all the supporting of the parents.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

My best advice.

As a bank employee she can get a very low interest home loan, her age (40) entitles her to spread the repayments over 25 years.

Be very wary of the land purchase/home build game, many opportunities for everyone to cheat an unwary foreigner.

If she is the only one supporting her parents, insist they make her their sole heir or sign the house over to her right now in return for her continued support.

Nobody has to tell the other siblings what they have done.

Do not be pressed in to living somewhere unsuitable for your personal needs.

Unless you already speak very good Thai already, living a long distance from fellow English speakers can be a very lonely existence.

SinSot

The deposit for the house should be plenty.

If it were a new 2M bht house, I would consider 200k (with a 90% home loan) to be plenty (if not excessive).

Get all receipts for any home purchase payments in your name, photocopy any bank deposit slips for money you put into her bank account.

Easy to prove you are the one paying for the house, with a little forethought.

Edited April 16, 2013 by AnotherOneAmerican

[atyclb]

How much sin sod should I pay?

I am to marry a 40 yo never married, virgin? assistant bank manager.

She has always lived with her parents and buys all their food and 'needs'.

We will still have to keep up the payment of costs for her parents after marriage, the other siblings wont.

If I do pay sin sod for 'face value' I'm sure most would go to the divorced unemployed sister, living in big house with 2 **** sons.

How old are you?

Are you a virgin?

Why would you marry someone who is 40?

Are the parents prepared to name you (or prospective wife) as sole heirs of house?

All questions that need answers before we can give an opinion.

If you are 27 year old English teacher, tradition says, she should pay you.

If you are 70 and a multi-millionaire, you should pay her.

I am 60, she is 40, she says she is a virgin, I put the ? there as she is not my first Thai relationship after visiting Thailand each year for the last 5 years.

We intend to build a house next door to parents house as it is more 'social' (her word) in the eyes of her peers and her work position to have her own house, renting is out of the question.

She classes herself as middle class and for sure as has been mentioned here, she would not contemplate a lower class Thai man or a Hi-So. Also in her words, marrying a farang is a rung above marrying a Thai in the eyes of her social set.

As long as he has money of course and not as she said in Thai slang " a sh*t of a man"

She wanted me to pay up front for the land and house but I said no-way. She has to borrow the money and I will pay it back from interest from my superannuation over about 6 - 7 years. She earns good money but spends it all, so got no savings, but says she will receive a payout from the bank (I guess same as super) when she retires.

No doubt the house will be in her name. I said what happens if she gets run over by a bus and she said her parents will let me stay in house or give me 50% if sold. From what I have seen when living in the house with them, they do seem sincere and nice people. ( We are engaged so were allowed to sleep together)

I presume the parents house will be divided up by the 2 daughters and 2 sons when the time comes, although my fiance has done all the supporting of the parents.

For me personally virginity is a non issue because it is integrity, intelligence and other things that are more important. Maybe some others will comment but it seems rather bizarre to be 40 and a virgin even at her generation in thai society.

If it important to you even if she got a doctor to verify it in thailand as many know, for a small fee the doctor? can confirm whatever. Also being a virgin at 40 may also be a sign of social dysfunction, even rich little girls with fancy educations almost would never be virgins by age 30 or well before that.

Thank God you didn't pay the land and house right away, bravo. From personal experience I would strongly suggest you get a solid prenuptial agreement. Lets face it, the best and the nicest of people can and do change, protect yourself.

[ricky2002]

#atyclb

If it important to you even if she got a doctor to verify it in thailand as many know, for a small fee the doctor? can confirm whatever. Also being a virgin at 40 may also be a sign of social dysfunction, even rich little girls with fancy educations almost would never be virgins by age 30 or well before that.

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You sure, anyone sure they want a virgin of 40yrs? and that, after coming to LOS for 5 yrs. Who are you kidding? Something is wrong here !