Do Tourists All Think Expats Are Married To Ex-'working Girls'?

[Mudcrab]

jeez who cares??? Depending on your beliefs you have only one life....Live It!!!!

Bar girl...not bar girl...whatever.

We all do what we do to get through life. Is the CEO of a company any less of a prostitute than a bar girl?...he/she sells his/her soul (not his body granted) on the altar of shareholder return. There is very little difference to those who don't have the bigoted, dare I say, westernised view of the world.

Edited May 3, 2013 by Mudcrab

[smotherb]

Never meet anyone in Thailand or abroad who made such an assumption. To be honest never heard about (Thai) "bar girls" or what not, until I found this forum.

You should take your head out of the sand once in a while; or perhaps you have just not been in contact with many mixed-race marriages involving Asian women. Although I have no empirical evidence--perhaps I should do some primary research--I have lived in and out of Southeast Asia since 1967. I know literally scores of expats from Europe, North America, and Oceana who have married Asian women. The vast majority of them have related similar stories of friends, relatives, and even perfect strangers from their home countries who ask/think/comment if their wives were bar girls. I married two Asian women, neither of whom were or are bar girls; yet, even my family had such thoughts about both of them. To be sure, a great number of expats do marry bar girls and this may be the cause of such wide-spread opinion in the people back home.

[Kitsune]

jeez who cares??? Depending on your beliefs you have only one life....Live It!!!!

Bar girl...not bar girl...whatever.

We all do what we do to get through life. Is the CEO of a company any less of a prostitute than a bar girl?...he/she sells his/her soul (not his body granted) on the altar of shareholder return. There is very little difference to those who don't have the bigoted, dare I say, westernised view of the world.

No one is judging.

If your idea of a fulfilling private life is "taking care, bring money and save face" good for you !

[Kitsune]

I wouldn't be surprised and I actually do not think that a high percentage of Farang-Thai marriages are genuine love marriages from both sides. No matter whether former bar girls or not. Face it, guys.

Quite right.

I am surprised that so many people are offended by the question. I know people who are very happy with ex-bar girls.

Thai girls all have the seed in them to be a working girl.

And romantic love might not exist in Thailand. All a question of 'you take care of me', i.e. you pay, and I take care of you.

The 3 governing principles in Thailand:

1-Take care

2-Generate money

3-Save face

Everything evolves around that in Thailand. So their love may be defined as being able to fulfill the 3 principles...

You romantic fool !

To be more precise, I am no longer romantic....just a fool...

I was being ironical ...

[Mudcrab]

jeez who cares??? Depending on your beliefs you have only one life....Live It!!!!

Bar girl...not bar girl...whatever.

We all do what we do to get through life. Is the CEO of a company any less of a prostitute than a bar girl?...he/she sells his/her soul (not his body granted) on the altar of shareholder return. There is very little difference to those who don't have the bigoted, dare I say, westernised view of the world.

No one is judging.

If your idea of a fulfilling private life is "taking care, bring money and save face" good for you !

what's yours?

[Andre0720]

jeez who cares??? Depending on your beliefs you have only one life....Live It!!!!

Bar girl...not bar girl...whatever.

We all do what we do to get through life. Is the CEO of a company any less of a prostitute than a bar girl?...he/she sells his/her soul (not his body granted) on the altar of shareholder return. There is very little difference to those who don't have the bigoted, dare I say, westernised view of the world.

No one is judging.

If your idea of a fulfilling private life is "taking care, bring money and save face" good for you !

Everybody is judging.

Otherwise, what would our judgmental abiliies be for?

[Kitsune]

Thailand is the perfect place for men who never got romance in the first place.

Here none of that romance nonsense western women bore you with, just get a business deal instead !

it's efficient love !

[lemoncake]

I am a woman from a third world country. Thank God my parents could support me through school and college. I have a master's degree, fall in love with an old man. I have been married to an American old man for about 11 years. We are right now travelling all over Thailand. I have met many many gorgeous and not so gorgeous Thai ladies married to foreign guys. I met them through an International school where my children are enrolled. I find Thai ladies to be very attractive and some of them very honest about their past. I was speechless when some of them told me flat on my face that they met their farang husband in Patpong where they worked as bar girls. Sorry guys, considering the size of sex industry in Thailand I don't blame tourists for thinking that all expats are married to ex prostitutes...and so what if you did. Prostitutes are human, prostitution is a job, it is not a sin to fall in love with an honest prostitute and be her rescuer! End of story.

AS you say its a job, so what is there to rescue her from?

Selling drugs is also a job so is being a hitman.

There are many ways to make easy money, but with easy money there are consequences.

[Andre0720]

Kitsune

You romantic fool !

To be more precise, I am no longer romantic....just a fool...

I was being ironical ...

In my response, I hope you could see that I did not take offence..... Actually liked it....

Must be something romantic about being referred to a romantic fool..

[Andre0720]

Kitsune

Thailand is the perfect place for men who never got romance in the first place.

Here none of that romance nonsense western women bore you with, just get a business deal instead !

it's efficient love !

Efficient love.....hummmmm: Please define...Otherwise I will have to go back to....

Taking care, generate money and saving face .

[patongphil]

• What are "working girls" ???

[jbrain]

Very rude drinking company you had! Hope you said thank you and walked away!

Not all do, i think. But a lot of tourists are prejudiced, sadly.

I did make an exit about 10 minutes later. I joked that I hoped that my wife was never a bar prostitute thinking what an incredible <deleted> the guy was.

How would others respond?

I would have punched him in the face.

The drinking company was definitely rude, but although my wife was never a bargirl, all my farang friends wives are, and apart from two, they are still together. there is nothing wrong with bargirls or prostitution, as long as no one is getting hurt or forced to do anything against their wishes. No one has any right to tell people what they can or cannot do with their own bodies.

Intriguing at the least. Is it possible that all your farang friends would make the same statement ?

[Pinot]

I'm not surprised that the guy thought she may have been a BG. Of the people you know, how many are in long term relationships with girls formerly in the game? Let me put out a number on it, maybe 75%? One question I never ask anymore, where did you meet your girl? To assume she was in the game is just playing the numbers. To ask someone about is just poor manners or ignorance. I think the same person gets offended about being asked if he met his wife in a bar gets offended by Thais calling him farang. My point...this is silly stuff to sweat.

Edited May 3, 2013 by Pinot

[Andre0720]

Patongphil

What are "working girls" ???

Probably those who are not lazy... Mai keekiet.

[Kitsune]

Kitsune

Thailand is the perfect place for men who never got romance in the first place.

Here none of that romance nonsense western women bore you with, just get a business deal instead !

it's efficient love !

Efficient love.....hummmmm: Please define...Otherwise I will have to go back to....

Taking care, generate money and saving face .

efficient love is practical, something that functions efficiently within Thai society.

She brings youth/beauty, you bring cash and everyone keeps face.

It's an arrangement that worked for centuries here

[Andre0720]

Kitsune

Thailand is the perfect place for men who never got romance in the first place.

Here none of that romance nonsense western women bore you with, just get a business deal instead !

it's efficient love !

Efficient love.....hummmmm: Please define...Otherwise I will have to go back to....

Taking care, generate money and saving face .

efficient love is practical, something that functions efficiently within Thai society.

She brings youth/beauty, you bring cash and everyone keeps face.

It's an arrangement that worked for centuries here

Thanks...

Why do I get a feeling that you are a woman. Just smooth I suppose....

[stoli]

Let's face it, not all that move here are rocket scientists. Very many of them have had too many beers. Talked to a Canadian one day who asked me if I voted for Obama. I said no, he was not my choice. Why do you ask? He told me that the only reason for any American not to vote for Obama was that I must be a racist. Small minds, if there is one at all.

Edited May 3, 2013 by stoli

[johnlandy]

Very rude drinking company you had! Hope you said thank you and walked away!

Not all do, i think. But a lot of tourists are prejudiced, sadly.

It is natural that "the world" has a very dim view of Thailand and many of it's people.

It is no secret that there are around 2 million engaged in the flesh trade, no surprises there. Forget the fact that it is illegal but what the he!! when has the law stopped anyone here from doing exactly whatever they want to do.

It is illegal to gamble in the realm (with one exception) and yet gambling is an industry in Thailand.

Corruption (and lying) are a way of life and 75% of Thais (as shown in a recent poll) believe that it is OK to do so "as long as they are getting a piece of the action"

So are tourists prejudiced? perhaps! but they have good reason to be so. The facts all speak for themselves.

Finally, I would think an 'ex hooker' might make an excellent wife if she is honest' which is defined as an oxymoron in itself.

[wiyada]

Given the areas that tourists visit and that most foreigners meet their ladies because the ladies are also looking to meet them ,be it through the entertainment industry or on-line dating , I would say that the assumption is accurate.

It is also an assumption made by most Thais .

correct

Yes, it is correct, that most thais think farangs usually marry prostitutes here in LOS. They also think farangs are not too smart because of this.

They may well be right the not too smart bit of course.......

[carken]

I thought 99% of expats came to Thailand for the beaches and temples and none of these expats would ever think of marrying a bargirl or whore or prostitute or whatever name you want to label these female survivors of a very poor economy. These expats who would never marry a bargirl or whore or prostitute are the same macho guys who loudly proclaim "why I've never paid for a piece of a** in my entire life". Ever take a woman out on a date? Ever buy her drinks? ever buy her dinner? Ever pay for her movie ticket. Ever take her dancing and pick up the tab. While dating your soon to be wife ever pay for any of these things or buy her present(s) or jewlry or clothes or whatever? If you paid for any of these things, guess what .......? You just paid for sex or a piece of a** and the receipient of these things is now an official prostitute, look up the definition macho man. If you married a woman after dating her and picking up the tab for any or all these items, you just married a prost***te .... welcome to the club macho man .............. beauty is in the eye of the beholder .......... understanding is in the mind of the educated ........ If you don't believe me in any country in the world try dating a women and tell her she has to pay for her own stuff and see how much sex or lovin' or piece's of a** you'll get handsome macho man. It'll put a real crimp in your young good lookin' hand and/or forearm. Course if you live next to a sheep farm you can get all the free sex you can catch

Who me? ...

Oh I married a rich Thai lady who's never been close to a bar....of course .. I've never paid for a piece of a** in my life

I came to Thailand for the beaches, temples, hot spicey food, BigC and Tuk Tuk rides

[Kitsune]

jeez who cares??? Depending on your beliefs you have only one life....Live It!!!!

Bar girl...not bar girl...whatever.

We all do what we do to get through life. Is the CEO of a company any less of a prostitute than a bar girl?...he/she sells his/her soul (not his body granted) on the altar of shareholder return. There is very little difference to those who don't have the bigoted, dare I say, westernised view of the world.

No one is judging.

If your idea of a fulfilling private life is "taking care, bring money and save face" good for you !

what's yours?

Well let's just say I trust human nature to be capable of the highest deeds, so devotion, spiritual connection or the sense of soul completion, would be more my types of things ... So basically keeping the bargaining skills for the "talat"

[StreetCowboy]

Kitsune

Thailand is the perfect place for men who never got romance in the first place.

Here none of that romance nonsense western women bore you with, just get a business deal instead !

it's efficient love !

Efficient love.....hummmmm: Please define...Otherwise I will have to go back to....

Taking care, generate money and saving face .

efficient love is practical, something that functions efficiently within Thai society.

She brings youth/beauty, you bring cash and everyone keeps face.

It's an arrangement that worked for centuries here

Thanks...

Why do I get a feeling that you are a woman. Just smooth I suppose....

Because she's a fox?

[Andre0720]

No one is judging.

If your idea of a fulfilling private life is "taking care, bring money and save face" good for you !

what's yours?

Well let's just say I trust human nature to be capable of the highest deeds, so devotion, spiritual connection or the sense of soul completion, would be more my types of things ... So basically keeping the bargaining skills for the "talat"

Nahhh, definitely a woman.

Talking here about the Dalai Lama.

But he is not in Thailand.

If you had children, they are lucky...

[hansnl]

In most western countries Thai women are not reckoned to be the best.

A view cultivated by western women, simply because Thai women are a threat to them.

And cultivated by the press who only see the less admirable parts of Pattaya and Bangkok

Upon which many people in the west base their ideas.

Thai women, in general, are more feminine, take better care, seem to be more submissive.

And that is contrary to, in my view, a big part of the western women.

Of course, a certain part of Thai women are as bad as a certain part of western women.

But generally speaking, even an ex-bargirl might work out to be a good wife.

[Suradit69]

Given the areas that tourists visit and that most foreigners meet their ladies because the ladies are also looking to meet them ,be it through the entertainment industry or on-line dating , I would say that the assumption is accurate.

It is also an assumption made by most Thais .

"Given the areas that tourists visit ..."

It also seems to be the basis for most generalities about Thais. Many visitors and some long term residents seldom see much of Thailand away from the bars and assume those working in the "entertainment & hospitality" industry are typical in terms of education, world-view, sophistication, etc of all Thais. They have no contact with educated, professional Thais, many of whom are probably more sophisticated and better educated than the tourists who come here to spend all their time glued to a bar stool or paying for companionship with someone who deserves an academy award for pretending to care about them.

They assume all of Pattaya is like Walking Street and the area between Beach Rd and 2nd Rd. Just reading Thai Visa for awhile you get the impression that all farangs are waging a daily battle with their Thai wives who wile away their days either attempting to shove their husbands off balconies or drain their bank accounts. And the prejudiced view points go on and on about the entire population.

The OP should have asked the rude tourist if he spent any time reading through Thai Visa before he came to Thailand. It sounds as though he's had the TV indoctrination.

[kingstonkid]

I would have said well if you want I can take you where I met her and hooked him u[p with a sexy "girl" that I gave extra money to to sucker him.

[Kitsune]

In most western countries Thai women are not reckoned to be the best.

A view cultivated by western women, simply because Thai women are a threat to them.

And cultivated by the press who only see the less admirable parts of Pattaya and Bangkok

Upon which many people in the west base their ideas.

Thai women, in general, are more feminine, take better care, seem to be more submissive.

And that is contrary to, in my view, a big part of the western women.

Of course, a certain part of Thai women are as bad as a certain part of western women.

But generally speaking, even an ex-bargirl might work out to be a good wife.

You've pinned it

More submissive etc ...

That's exactly why tourists think like they think

[Om85]

I am a woman from a third world country. Thank God my parents could support me through school and college. I have a master's degree, fall in love with an old man. I have been married to an American old man for about 11 years. We are right now travelling all over Thailand. I have met many many gorgeous and not so gorgeous Thai ladies married to foreign guys. I met them through an International school where my children are enrolled. I find Thai ladies to be very attractive and some of them very honest about their past. I was speechless when some of them told me flat on my face that they met their farang husband in Patpong where they worked as bar girls. Sorry guys, considering the size of sex industry in Thailand I don't blame tourists for thinking that all expats are married to ex prostitutes...and so what if you did. Prostitutes are human, prostitution is a job, it is not a sin to fall in love with an honest prostitute and be her rescuer! End of story.

Prostitutes are prostitutes and that never change. in thailand in the most of cases, that i know, women who prostitute themself isn't because of lack of opportunities but cuz is the easiest way to get money to go to siam, buy an iphone etc, i dont condem prostitution, in fact i think that prostitution is a social need, but for marrying a prostitute you must to be stupid or stupid, particularly when there are so many normal girls outhere. just imagine this: "Mom, this is my wife, Phoon, i met her in a Pattaya Bar, but i rescued her and she's a wonderful person". Hahahahahah

[dighambara]

Very rude drinking company you had! Hope you said thank you and walked away!

Not all do, i think. But a lot of tourists are prejudiced, sadly.

I did make an exit about 10 minutes later. I joked that I hoped that my wife was never a bar prostitute thinking what an incredible <deleted> the guy was.

How would others respond?

I would have punched him in the face.

Bravo..!! That was my first thought.

Such has happened to me only once and I did not immediately catch the inference - I have avoided that ignorant SOB ever since.

Tourists, on the other hand, tend to be ignorant of the area they are visiting, so routinely act stupidly.

[Commander Tamson]

I don't think that all expats are married to former BGs, but I do think that quite a few are and don't know it.

And a quite are and do know it.

I know a more than just couple guys who married, or fell in love and now live with, girls who sold their bodies. Most don't talk about it(certainly not openly) but they seemed very happy to me.

How many guys out there married virgins?