Be Careful Of The “Men Of Their Word”.

[IDL]

Be careful of the “MEN OF THEIR WORD”.

We can all pick-out the bad apples in society, but
occasionally we get duped by somebody who you wouldn’t dream capable of doing
so.

So after a few days of emails, this chap comes to view my
car (with a possibility of buying). He travels in from Prasat (Surin) to get
some important correspondence sorted, and grab the chance to take a look at the
car.

We head off for a short run on Saturday, and finalize the
deal over lunch. “Now we have shaken hands, the deal is done!” he says. “I’M A
MAN OF MY WORD!” he says…

Given my need to start planning dates for my departure, and
the fact that I currently do have time on my hands, I offered to drive him back
to Prasat (900Klms, round-trip) to get his paperwork (which he inadvertently
left in his apartment before heading to Bangkok) agreeing he would pay for my
accommodation and we would go 50/50 on the travel expenses.

The drive was leisurely and we had a good laugh and plenty of
‘banter’ for the duration; started a little one-sided, but once I took on-board
his humour, I then started reciprocating with my own brand, not least making
fun of his Welsh-ness (as he’d constantly jibed about me coming from Kent).
*Having been told about his health condition and subsequent need for a
[passive] smoke-free environment, I struggled with not smoking [in the car],
but put his health first – IN MY OWN CAR; any smoker I’m sure would
sympathize.

Around six hours later, and a couple of small Leos after arriving
at his friend’s resort, I drove him to his place, and collected him again in
the morning. After breakfast we went (roundtrip of 40Klms off-course) to get
his ‘residency letter’ from the local immigration office, then headed back to
Bangkok, with an equal amount of active banter, and armed with all we need to
go and transfer the vehicle ownership first thing in the morning. NB. I dropped
him at the hotel my GF had booked for him, a long stone’s throw from my condo.

Later in the evening I tried calling [over period of an
hour] and sent a few text messages (including helpful directions (in Thai) for
the taxi ride to mine in the morning – I live [the wrong way] on a one-way
system on a main vein into the city; huge detour/traffic jam to go and collect
him). The last text I sent read “you are crap with the phone, call me, Ian”.

He finally returned the call, starting off with “my battery
was dead, then I get all this abuse…” I of course took it as a joke, as we’d
partied hard with banter for two days. I then asked if he had a pen &
paper, and described in very simple terms how to check the taxi driver goes the
right way; from hotel, turn right at lights after 300yrds, right at next lights
(after approx 350yrds), and then stop at the [first] ‘bus stop’ after 300yrds
(directly outside my condo building).

Just shy of our 8am Tuesday morning scheduled meet, he’s in
a taxi, getting lost; the distance between his hotel and my condo is [road-wise]
about one kilometre. Ten minutes later, he calls and says he’s had enough and
going back to Prasat! Also, he’s not happy with the ‘attitude’ in my
correspondence the evening before, and feels that [for a ‘buyer’] he’s
‘doing all the running around’, so has now changed his mind…<deleted>!!!

I spend TWO DAYS ferrying him around, and ‘mothering’ (his
quote, not mine (he’s new to Thailand)), so we both achieve our common goal…and
he’s doing all the running around!??? I don’t get that mentality, if somebody
can explain, I’d love to hear it.

Perhaps being an old fella he’s scared of driving home alone
(though he has a sat-nav)? Perhaps he’s bottled-it for financial reasons?
Perhaps he’s seen another vehicle? Pehaps, perhaps, perhaps. But, getting lost
in a one kilometre taxi journey and [after two days of banter] not liking to be
told he’s crap at telephone communication…C’mon, is anybody that fickle, and so
close to the finish line??? Whatever his REAL reasons were does a ‘real’ “MAN OF MY WORD” really lie/Welch (neither pun
nor word-play intended) on a deal after so much common decency has been shown
to him?

Yeah, sure I should have requested a deposit, got him to
sign something, not got involved personally, left him to his own devices…but
hey, I’m no ‘car salesman’, just a guy selling a car that has been cherished
over its 3yrs of age.

The saddest thing is, I do actually think he believes his
own hype about himself…

Watch-out, he’s still in the buyer’s market.

[transam]

I have met a few odd balls since I have been here, thats life chum, annoying but they are out there.

[IDL]

I have met a few odd balls since I have been here, thats life chum, annoying but they are out there.

I hear ya, mate, just it still blows my mind on occasions. Aaaarrrrgggghhhhh!!!.................that's better.

[anon210]

Well, until a deal is closed and sealed in paper, nothing is done "de facto". So, yes, any buyer could back out. In our time and era, "man of his word" means nothing. And to a lawyer, it means even less.

You just have to beware with complicated stuff and people having you leap through too many hoops.

[aussiebebe]

On the bright side you got a half-price trip to Surin and a free hotel stay. I wouldn't have driven all that way for someone too forgetful to bring paperwork.

[stevenl]

Well, until a deal is closed and sealed in paper, nothing is done "de facto". So, yes, any buyer could back out. In our time and era, "man of his word" means nothing. And to a lawyer, it means even less.

You just have to beware with complicated stuff and people having you leap through too many hoops.

Sorry, but not true. Same as in many places in the world, including Thailand: deal is deal, and a hand shake can seal the deal. Problem is proof can be a bitch if nothing in writing.

[firestar]

Plenty of grumpy old men around. Give it 6 months and he will become a member here complaining about everything Thai

[Loptr]

Well, the OP should have realized the problems he was going to have with this fellow. He's Welsh after all.

[MESmith]

"not least making fun of his Welsh-ness "

Sheep sh@ggers are a sensitive lot.

[Richie23]

I feel for ya. Nothing worse than being messed about like that. So blo*dy frustrating. Hope you found a genuine buyer...

[Ace of Pop]

Plenty of grumpy old men around. Give it 6 months and he will become a member here complaining about everything Thai

Or he may join and be a Young Grumpy who knows everything.

[transam]

I shook hands with a guy to do something a few months back. I get a % of stuff. Hmmmmmmmm, thought do it once and see what happens. My % is now l hope earning interest as l haven't seen the payment YET.

[BSJ]

I can't believe you would jump through his hoops in the first place.

[WarpSpeed]

Should have taken his money, given him all your proof of ownership for transfer and sent him on his way to an agent to handle the rest, another reason I handled all my sales the same way.. A little reading here before your sale would have served you well. Sorry to hear about your misfortune..

Don't see your complaint about his not wanting to suck in your second hand smoke either, it's the least one can do, regardless of how much withdrawal you may have felt as the AIR in YOUR car or HIS lungs is not yours either....

[IDL]

On the bright side you got a half-price trip to Surin and a free hotel stay. I wouldn't have driven all that way for someone too forgetful to bring paperwork.

Aside from the anger and frustration, thanks for this one, I really couldn't help but have a chuckle.

However, Surin/Prasat!...have you been there? It's hardly a jolly.

[IDL]

I can't believe you would jump through his hoops in the first place.

Of course, hindsight n all that, but do note that I have time on my hands & a need to start confirming dates for departure etc (and am not shy of a little 'adventure'); all of which prompted me to go the extra mile.

That said, I get your point & wouldn't do that again!

[IDL]

Well, until a deal is closed and sealed in paper, nothing is done "de facto". So, yes, any buyer could back out. In our time and era, "man of his word" means nothing. And to a lawyer, it means even less.

You just have to beware with complicated stuff and people having you leap through too many hoops.

Sorry, but not true. Same as in many places in the world, including Thailand: deal is deal, and a hand shake can seal the deal. Problem is proof can be a bitch if nothing in writing.

In 'officialdom' of course freemindxs is correct. However, I agree with stevenl and believe tis a sad day when a handshake means nothing. I of course have a witness to the shake, but hey, I wouldn't hold a gun to someone's head, to buy my car. If this guy had just told me the real reason, I wouldn't have thought him reneging on the deal. But "I feel I'm doing all the running around"...never would I have thought a grown man (using the term 'man' loosely) could use that for an excuse, after all I did.

Yet another of life's curve-balls, but 'kin annoying!

[IDL]

Should have taken his money, given him all your proof of ownership for transfer and sent him on his way to an agent to handle the rest, another reason I handled all my sales the same way.. A little reading here before your sale would have served you well. Sorry to hear about your misfortune..

Don't see your complaint about his not wanting to suck in your second hand smoke either, it's the least one can do, regardless of how much withdrawal you may have felt as the AIR in YOUR car or HIS lungs is not yours either....

All appreciated; good therapy to get my blood pressure down, LOL

Pt1: Though I have bought a modest amount of vehicles (2-4 wheeled) here, over the years, and have been presented with the scenario you recommend (independently transferring), I've often noted that people's 'official' ownership has far exceeded their 'actual' ownership. On that note I for one don't want to be the 'official' keeper of a vehicle that is involved in an accident/incident or any dubious activity; Life's tough enough out here (flowing with the bendy-laws), I try my utmost to be squeaky clean so's not having the need for worry.

Pt2: ...you're not a smoker, are you? Your point is valid, but it is MY car. NB (for anybody interested in a superb example/condition 3r-old Mazda 2) Though I do smoke in the car, windows are always open (at that time) and A/C is always 'off' until all traces are gone. Many non-smoker passengers have commented about the [stale] smoke-free odour of the car.

[monty1412]

Always take a deposit.... Im sure even though he was without papers he would have had his wallet with him and a 10% deposit or greater really defines if the person is serious or not.

I had reverse happen a year or so ago... VFR400 for sale in Chiang Mai, rang the guy, agreed to pay what he asked, deal agreed, asked him his bank account he asked if i could pay by paypal which i couldn't and didn't want to anyway. Said he would get back to me on bank account as had to dig out details.. didn't hear from him on next day , rang him and he said "ohh bike is sold some guy came around after you had phoned and had cash...."

When all is said and done you are defined by your acts and your word...

[IDL]

Always take a deposit.... Im sure even though he was without papers he would have had his wallet with him and a 10% deposit or greater really defines if the person is serious or not.

I had reverse happen a year or so ago... VFR400 for sale in Chiang Mai, rang the guy, agreed to pay what he asked, deal agreed, asked him his bank account he asked if i could pay by paypal which i couldn't and didn't want to anyway. Said he would get back to me on bank account as had to dig out details.. didn't hear from him on next day , rang him and he said "ohh bike is sold some guy came around after you had phoned and had cash...."

When all is said and done you are defined by your acts and your word...

Hey Monty,

I feel for you, bro. I've heard many scenarios like that, and usually it's coz the buyer was offered more. In your case, it does sound as if 'the bank account' could have played heavily...who knows!

This has made me think of another point in my [false] sale. Though my word is MY bond, whilst taking the MF up to Prasat, he voiced mild disgruntlement that I was still displaying the 'for sale' signs in the car. Can you believe it! The cheek! We were a few days away from the actual change of ownership/transfer/parting with money, and I had no guarantees of the sale with him.

I love your last line. Not only did I defer two enquiries, post our 'done-deal' meeting, but I went head-long into an overnight 900Klm run...me tinks that shows commitment!

[IDL]

Further, bud, when I recently sold my biggish bike, I informed a few potential buyers [of the sale] that had asked for updates in case they were interested later.

Not trying to paint a picture of being angelic (coz I'm not), but day-to-day life can be challenging enough, out here, only heading for anarchy if all expats make life immoral too.

[Baerboxer]

It's always annoying when people behave like this - especially when you've gone out of your way to be friendly and helpful.

There's no way of telling why he backed out - cold feet, money, better deal elswhere, you inadvertenly pissed him off etc etc

Don't worry about it, put it down to experience and move on. Don't let this change how you are and how you behave. The problems his not yours.

[IDL]

It's always annoying when people behave like this - especially when you've gone out of your way to be friendly and helpful.

There's no way of telling why he backed out - cold feet, money, better deal elswhere, you inadvertenly pissed him off etc etc

Don't worry about it, put it down to experience and move on. Don't let this change how you are and how you behave. The problems his not yours.

All part of my [personal] therapy buddy. I'm not a bitter & twisted individual, just blurt-out my frustrations......then move forward.

N like you say, we'll never know.

Spread the word about the above described character though, he is still in the market!

FYI, when I was 19 [in UK] I started a small business. it grew and became a very healthy source of income, affording me a very nice lifestyle. What I learnt, not least in the early years, was customers had plenty of avenues for recourse, though the business owners themselves had very few ways of alerting other traders of bad payers etc...(that early warning sign kept me on my toes in providing quality to all)...hence my post.

[Joe Mamma]

I have learned to filter out all the one sided people. If I get burned once, that's it with them. I left a country full of these user types. And I don't miss them one bit.

The good and true people, I hold dear and close. The selfish, greedy and self serving idiots are not mine to deal with!

[Always18]

Thanks for the heads-up...............I currently have my own vehicle up for sale and live a couple of hours drive from Surin, so I'll keep a weather eye open for any "Ovi-fiddlers" showing an interest....................!

[kjhbigv]

Out of interest, what is the car and how much is it?

[johnlandy]

I have met a few odd balls since I have been here, thats life chum, annoying but they are out there.

I hear ya, mate, just it still blows my mind on occasions. Aaaarrrrgggghhhhh!!!.................that's better.

I have met a few odd balls since I have been here, thats life chum, annoying but they are out there.

I hear ya, mate, just it still blows my mind on occasions. Aaaarrrrgggghhhhh!!!.................that's better.

As for your “I’M A MAN OF MY WORD!” he says…was he a ethnic or a expat. The former are taught to lie the moment they are taken off the breast. It is endemic.

As for expats, yes there are a lot of lying a'holes here but they are not in the majority.

[IDL]

Out of interest, what is the car and how much is it?

Not so polite/ethical to be using this forum for classified ads, so please search on TVs section (and other [top] classified ad sites in Thailand) using: 'Unbelievable! Mazda 2...' for faster access. Any [constructive] feedback/contact will be appreciated.

[IMHO]

The former are taught to lie the moment they are taken off the breast. It is endemic.

Sorry, but that just can't be taken as a joke. Suggest you slag off Thai's somewhere else

[IDL]

There's a couple of clues, in the article, as to his [expat] origin.

Suffice to say a verb was created years ago...that should have left me wiser.

Oops! My mistake.

I certainly agree that not all expats [here] are wrong'ns. If anything

they often stand out like a sore thumb. it's the ones that don't...they're the

worry.

I have met a few odd balls since I have been here, thats life chum, annoying but they are out there.

I hear ya, mate, just it still blows my mind on occasions. Aaaarrrrgggghhhhh!!!.................that's better.

As for your “I’M A MAN OF MY WORD!” he says…was he a ethnic or a expat. The former are taught to lie the moment they are taken off the breast. It is endemic.

As for expats, yes there are a lot of lying a'holes here but they are not in the majority.

There's a couple of clues, in the article, as to his [expat] origin.

Suffice to say a verb was created years ago...that should have left me wiser.

Oops! Lesson learnt.

I certainly agree that not all expats [here] are wrong'ns. If anything

they often stand out like a sore thumb. it's the ones that don't...they're the

worry.