qualifications for security guard (yam)

[joeaverage]

are there any besides the ability to sleep in a chair and misdirect traffic while not swallowing your whistle?

[Crossy]

If we can include car park attendants. The ability to stand exactly in my blind spot whilst "directing" me in to or out of a space (which I'm quite capable of doing myself).

[Songhua]

Saluting badly and the ability to wake up exactly three and a half minutes prior to the end of the shift.

[joeaverage]

ah, i forgot the heel click.

the job is obviously more complicated than it first appears

Edited June 21, 2013 by joeaverage

[samran]

You beat me to it. The heel click and the ability to use a whistle and gesticulate furiously when someone is parking their car.

More seriously though, it is a crap job. If in a condo, show them some common courtesy, gifts at Songkran and NY etc, the odd bit of good food and fruit (it is what all the old ladies in my building do - no alcohol) and they'll look after you for the most part.

[joeaverage]

I do realize that and i know some real sweethearts in my immediate area, who do actually deserve respect and are immensely helpful.

to tell a sad story, there was a guard who sat in a shack directly across from my house for all the 15 some odd years i have lived here, an old man, known only to most as loong. He was a bit of an ale cart, and about once a month i would buy him a couple of leos in return for helping me with groceries, directing deliveries to my door etc. He would even bring my daughter little gifts - cheap tat, but it was the thought that counted.

about two months ago, he disappeared and we all realized that for 15 years of service nobody knew his name or where he lived. he was dead, and we did not appreciate him until he was gone. he was furniture.

the reason for my post, is every morning when i drop my kid off at school, there is a fat useless bastard who waits till i am abreast of him and gives a long high blast, leaving my closest ear ringing for the next 5 minutes.

i am contemplating slapping the whistle out of his mouth next time, but sadly i am not a violent man.

there are yams, and then there are yams with whistles.

i yam what i yam

Edited June 21, 2013 by joeaverage

[samran]

Good story Joe. ps, my note wasn't directed at you, just more of an observation about these blokes.

[robblok]

You beat me to it. The heel click and the ability to use a whistle and gesticulate furiously when someone is parking their car.

More seriously though, it is a crap job. If in a condo, show them some common courtesy, gifts at Songkran and NY etc, the odd bit of good food and fruit (it is what all the old ladies in my building do - no alcohol) and they'll look after you for the most part.

Often give the ones in front of our village some m150 or other stuff. Gf always did that seemed to be normal thing to do. (unless you got useless ones). Treat them normally and they will be good for you too.

[giddyup]

You beat me to it. The heel click and the ability to use a whistle and gesticulate furiously when someone is parking their car.

More seriously though, it is a crap job. If in a condo, show them some common courtesy, gifts at Songkran and NY etc, the odd bit of good food and fruit (it is what all the old ladies in my building do - no alcohol) and they'll look after you for the most part.

Often give the ones in front of our village some m150 or other stuff. Gf always did that seemed to be normal thing to do. (unless you got useless ones). Treat them normally and they will be good for you too.

I've tried that, doesn't seem to keep them awake at night though, or to actually stop anyone who doesn't belong in our village. We'd be far better off with an automatic, key card operated gate. Total waste of money.

[tuky]

Ours was called Yam Joy, he used to spend all his time at work drinking with my ex-father in law.

The part I used to hate was ringing the bell on the hours between midnight and 5 or 6 am, I can't remember which.

[Payboy]

qualifications for security guard (yam)

Nothing else needed except a minimum pulse rate of 60, and that's negotiable.

[meatboy]

qualifications for security guard (yam)

Nothing else needed except a minimum pulse rate of 60, and that's negotiable.

ours must be able to sleep in a horizontal position,the ability to stand up when drunk,enough strenght to lift and drop the barrier[but optional]lame or lazy and you must be able to eat all the food they recieve.

[HeijoshinCool]

One of the more fear provoking ones I've seen wore a XXXX-L orange vest on his 40 kilo frame.

It said NYPD SWAT on both sides.

He also had a side handle baton, and two, count 'em, two sets of cuffs.

[Eesat]

I do realize that and i know some real sweethearts in my immediate area, who do actually deserve respect and are immensely helpful.

to tell a sad story, there was a guard who sat in a shack directly across from my house for all the 15 some odd years i have lived here, an old man, known only to most as loong. He was a bit of an ale cart, and about once a month i would buy him a couple of leos in return for helping me with groceries, directing deliveries to my door etc. He would even bring my daughter little gifts - cheap tat, but it was the thought that counted.

about two months ago, he disappeared and we all realized that for 15 years of service nobody knew his name or where he lived. he was dead, and we did not appreciate him until he was gone. he was furniture.

the reason for my post, is every morning when i drop my kid off at school, there is a fat useless bastard who waits till i am abreast of him and gives a long high blast, leaving my closest ear ringing for the next 5 minutes.

i am contemplating slapping the whistle out of his mouth next time, but sadly i am not a violent man.

there are yams, and then there are yams with whistles.

i yam what i yam

And then there are Yam-yams,from The Black Country just outside of Birmingham,England.Wolverhampton,West Bromwich,Dudley,Tipton etc! :

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Country