How do you live with permanent depression (obesity)

[Eesat]

@ OP

Change your life, bro. Ain't nothing more to it than that.

Forget about diets and whinging fat slobs who talk about metabolism.

.................

I'm six foot one and a half (187 cm) and weigh 92kg. I'm overweight. My BMI is a tad over 25.

I put on 5 kilos recently because I damaged my knee playing football. Couldn't walk for almost a week. I gained weight.

Within a month, I'll lose it all. This is called determination.

...................

Be active. Do things. Walk. Run. Turn off your computer and get out there and do stuff.

Understand that fat people are weak and disgusting. They are self-loathing failures.

Never go down that road.

How can you seriously give out advice on self-control when you've admitted to having to get your account suspended to stop posting on here?Is that weak and disgusting too?Are you a self-loathing failure?

Dude, I'm sure you're a decent guy.

But you seem angry. You seem like a man with issues.

That's fair enough. Life here in Thailand is fraught with problems and difficulties.

I've now got over all of the problems engendered by my separation a couple of years ago. I've dealt with alcohol issues and the loss of my house and vast amounts of money.

----------------------------------

You clearly have issues of your own. Address them and deal with them.

Be strong. I wish you well.

The guy comes on here and asks for help and you lay into him for no apparent reason and you're saying I have issues?Give me strength,do you honestly not realise what you're posting?

[Weatherman]

The bigger problem is the depression.

Taking the steps to overcome the obesity will definitely help, to the extent you are successful you'll boost your self-confidence to improve your life in other areas.

Regular exercise has been proven to help with depression, so even if you mostly use diet for the weight loss, do exercise you enjoy, ideally every day even if it's just 15/20 minutes, minimum every other day.

Change your routines, get control of your sleep patterns, get out and meet people in real life not just online.

But don't try to change too many habits at a time, focus on the most important one or two at first and let the others slide if necessary until the key ones have become automatic habits - usually 6-8 weeks.

Only a limited amount of willpower per day is available, takes time to build that up with positive reinforcement, patterns of success.

"Peer coaching", having a buddy with similar goals will help, make your current "baby step" goals public and check in with them at least once a day to report how you're doing.

Read postive self-help books, maybe even listen to tapes/MP3s, meditation helps too.

Best of luck!

[akspace]

You can talk to therapists until you are blue in the face, but it won't shed the lbs. Only one way. Eat less garbage and exercise more. You have only one life to live, being a reasonable weight will make everything better.

Your depression is probably a result of being fat. I go through the same thing. When I am fat I feel horrible. Everybody is the same. Anyone who says they are comfortable being fat is FoS.

Go running. No excuses. If you run 30 min 4-5X per week you can eat normal meals that taste good, without having to resort to a depressingly bland diet. I see my friends control their weight by eating like a rabbit. Personally that isn't for me. I love pizza, burgers, rice, curry, mocha frappaccinos, etc. so I run.

Thailand is a great place to exercise. So many interesting places to walk/run.

I'm comfortable being fat, it doesn't bother me in the least. It doesn't prevent me from doing anything, I'm completely healthy, so who cares. The only time it really matters is doing KOM races on the bike, hauling the extra 20-30kg up hill means I can never compete!

Right now I'm sitting around 107kg, earlier this year I ran a marathon, in a normal week I'll put 150km or more on the bike. I spend an hour at the gym 3-4 days a week too. I just like my food and booze, in the end all is well, who cares what other people think. In fact I'm probably more fit then anyone who looks down on me.

[andrew]

The bigger problem is the depression.

Taking the steps to overcome the obesity will definitely help, to the extent you are successful you'll boost your self-confidence to improve your life in other areas.

Regular exercise has been proven to help with depression, so even if you mostly use diet for the weight loss, do exercise you enjoy, ideally every day even if it's just 15/20 minutes, minimum every other day.

Change your routines, get control of your sleep patterns, get out and meet people in real life not just online.

But don't try to change too many habits at a time, focus on the most important one or two at first and let the others slide if necessary until the key ones have become automatic habits - usually 6-8 weeks.

Only a limited amount of willpower per day is available, takes time to build that up with positive reinforcement, patterns of success.

"Peer coaching", having a buddy with similar goals will help, make your current "baby step" goals public and check in with them at least once a day to report how you're doing.

Read postive self-help books, maybe even listen to tapes/MP3s, meditation helps too.

Best of luck!

What a superb post!

I think the real problem is that many men don't know they're depressed.

But yes -- managing addictions step by step is the way forward.

I cut out caffeine first. Then nicotine. Then the booze.

As you say, exercise is the key to everything.

.......................

I don't know who you are, but what you've written is truly inspirational.

[SeaVisionBurma]

Moving to appropriate forum in the Health/Body/Medicine section

[gerryBScot]

I just want to wish you luck in trying to resolve your issues. I suspect the depression will be much more difficult to manage in the long term and will always be likely to make you eat more than you want as a sort of fix. Fix your depression by eating. That is certainly how it was with me and alcohol and other things. In purely practical terms you need to develop some strategies for managing your depression - I would recommend the 24 hour approach, meaning keep it in the day, forget about the next day and the day after that and the day after that or next month, next year or whatever. Try to live in the day and not try to solve your whole life problem in that day. Try to connect with other people. Take a walk in a park. Watch a movie. Try and do simple things that take you out of yourself and your mind. As I Said, good luck.

[armedian]

The bigger problem is the depression.

Taking the steps to overcome the obesity will definitely help, to the extent you are successful you'll boost your self-confidence to improve your life in other areas.

Regular exercise has been proven to help with depression, so even if you mostly use diet for the weight loss, do exercise you enjoy, ideally every day even if it's just 15/20 minutes, minimum every other day.

Change your routines, get control of your sleep patterns, get out and meet people in real life not just online.

But don't try to change too many habits at a time, focus on the most important one or two at first and let the others slide if necessary until the key ones have become automatic habits - usually 6-8 weeks.

Only a limited amount of willpower per day is available, takes time to build that up with positive reinforcement, patterns of success.

"Peer coaching", having a buddy with similar goals will help, make your current "baby step" goals public and check in with them at least once a day to report how you're doing.

Read postive self-help books, maybe even listen to tapes/MP3s, meditation helps too.

Best of luck!

I just want to wish you luck in trying to resolve your issues. I suspect the depression will be much more difficult to manage in the long term and will always be likely to make you eat more than you want as a sort of fix. Fix your depression by eating. That is certainly how it was with me and alcohol and other things. In purely practical terms you need to develop some strategies for managing your depression - I would recommend the 24 hour approach, meaning keep it in the day, forget about the next day and the day after that and the day after that or next month, next year or whatever. Try to live in the day and not try to solve your whole life problem in that day. Try to connect with other people. Take a walk in a park. Watch a movie. Try and do simple things that take you out of yourself and your mind. As I Said, good luck.

Thank you both very much for your very valuable posts! It makes me feel confident that I can do the necessary changes, little by little.

[Jingthing]

There are no easy answers to obesity.

It is not simple math, calories in vs. burn as some of the fundamentalists assert here.

It is MUCH more complex.

As someone who has lost the weight and gained it back -- JOIN THE CLUB.

In other words, do NOT beat yourself over the head for this, that is NORMAL and actually statistically EXPECTED.

That's the experience of the VAST MAJORITY of obese people in the world who have ever lost weight. Not once, but MULTIPLE times.

There is no one size fits all solution to this.

Yes diet and exercise are factors but that's just PART of it.

People who obsess about will power are just projecting Calvinist moralism, will power is nothing against a body screaming to be fat. You have to go DEEPER. You are fighting your OWN body and the body for the most part wins. How do you do that? It is not easy. But just saying, I can beat my own body because I say so is just too bloody simplistic.

It's a journey and its a lifetime struggle, in some ways similar to alcoholism but in some ways worse because you MUST eat but you don't need any booze.

You can get some good technical advice here.

But take it all with a grain of salt.

These other people are NOT you.

You've got a unique problem, unique medical history, genetics, emotional factors, environment, etc.

In the long run if you are to make progress on this, it's ALL about your journey.

Edited June 23, 2013 by Jingthing

[gerryBScot]

Little by little is good!

[Tolley]

There are no easy answers to obesity.

It is not simple math, calories in vs. burn as some of the fundamentalists assert here.

It is MUCH more complex.

As someone who has lost the weight and gained it back -- JOIN THE CLUB.

In other words, do NOT beat yourself over the head for this, that is NORMAL and actually statistically EXPECTED.

That's the experience of the VAST MAJORITY of obese people in the world who have ever lost weight. Not once, but MULTIPLE times.

There is no one size fits all solution to this.

Yes diet and exercise are factors but that's just PART of it.

People who obsess about will power are just projecting Calvinist moralism, will power is nothing against a body screaming to be fat. You have to go DEEPER. You are fighting your OWN body and the body for the most part wins. How do you do that? It is not easy. But just saying, I can beat my own body because I say so is just too bloody simplistic.

It's a journey and its a lifetime struggle, in some ways similar to alcoholism but in some ways worse because you MUST eat but you don't need any booze.

You can get some good technical advice here.

But take it all with a grain of salt.

These other people are NOT you.

You've got a unique problem, unique medical history, genetics, emotional factors, environment, etc.

In the long run if you are to make progress on this, it's ALL about your journey.

It is easy for some people to say you dont have willpower and that is why you are fat but I believe the reason why a lot of people are overweight is more complex.

In some cases it might be a serious eating addiction problem.

Just as a a compulsive gambler or alcoholic cant seem to stop gambling or drinking so some people cannot stop poor eating or overeating even thou they know these habits are destructive. No amount of willpower can overcome their problem. In these cases professional help is required and a look at the deeper underlying emotional issues that may be causing the problem.

To not seek outside help is to continue to fail and blame yourself and to spiral further into despair so those people saying it is all about willpower thou perhaps well meaning are actually reinforcing the uselessness of the individual who cannot control his eating habits causing more misery and despair for that individual.

[Jingthing]

I also think people who are all about will power morality lectures in the long run do more harm than good. They may be well meaning, but not always. Many people in society are invested in explaining away obesity in such simple terms.

[Neeranam]

@ OP

Change your life, bro. Ain't nothing more to it than that.

Forget about diets and whinging fat slobs who talk about metabolism.

.................

I'm six foot one and a half (187 cm) and weigh 92kg. I'm overweight. My BMI is a tad over 25.

I put on 5 kilos recently because I damaged my knee playing football. Couldn't walk for almost a week. I gained weight.

Within a month, I'll lose it all. This is called determination.

...................

Be active. Do things. Walk. Run. Turn off your computer and get out there and do stuff.

Understand that fat people are weak and disgusting. They are self-loathing failures.

Never go down that road.

Pretty ignorant stuff here. Some fat people are not weak or disgusting.

You'll be saying next that all alcoholics are weak people.

What about cancer patients - are they weak?

My point - alcoholism is a disease, cancer is a disease, obesity can be a disease - either physical or mental. Is mental illness something only weak people get?

[Jingthing]

For many people, fat people exist so that they can feel superior to them ...

[ABCer]

Once, long ago, a great ballerina Anna Pavlova was asked by a reporter how does she keep in form.

"EAT LESS" - she said in a rather aggressive tone.

I only intended this fact as a joke, no offence meant.

On a more serious note. All my life I was 70-72 kg. Now I am 84-86 kg. This isn't food. I'm afraid it is the age body change.

As to diets (all of them) - you usually lose 5-7 kg in weeks, than pick up 7-9 kg in days. It is the normal 'reaction' of a body to store provisions for 'lean times'.

Best solution - accept yourself as you are in your mind. You will lose Depression, be more happy, relaxed and others will accept you as well. But your acceptans is primary!

Good luck and have a laugh at the joke above.

[Jingthing]

For you it may be age.

For the chronically obese, especially from childhood, it may be something else ...

[Sheryl]

Time to take it down a notch. Some uncalled for flaming has been deleted.

Obesity and depression are hardly character flaws, they are both significant health problems.

If you don't have anything constructive to say please don't post.

OP, you are heavy enough for it to be a health risk. I suggest you focus more on trying to reduce weight/get fitter for the sake of your health and less on how you look (which tends to set off a vicious cycle emotionally -- gaining weight can be a defense mechanism related to fear of intimacy or rejection). You don't need to be movie star trim, but to avoid a host of serious health problems you do need to get in better shape than you are now. However the depression is an even greater issue so I'd start there. See a good counselor and work on that. As you start to feel less depressed you can look at ways to gradually get down to a healthier (healthier, not necessarily ideal) weight and stay there. Good luck.

[Tolley]

For many people, fat people exist so that they can feel superior to them ...

There certainly is that with many posters here.

I am sure some of these posters have other issues that they cant control like gambling, drinking, sex behaviour ,emotionally destructive behaviours etc yet conveniently label others who have eating issues as lacking willpower. We just cant see their problems so clearly.

Willpower for many people is not the answer and only reinforces failure and leads to sprialling loss of confidence.

If you have a problem and you unable to resovle it yourself then you actually owe it to yourself to seek professional help.

I dont have weight issues myself but I have had other problems that I couldnt resolve through willpower and was forced to seek outside help despite knowing full well the destructive nature of my problems.

Edited June 24, 2013 by Tolley

[Weatherman]

Without side-tracking from my claim that the depression (OP - shouldn't say "permanent") is by far the more important aspect.

An interesting recent article on our food industries and obesity:

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/07/how-junk-food-can-end-obesity/309396/?single_page=true

[Gruntfuttock]

Cut out fast Carbs. Pasta, White Bread White Rice etc. Try and eat less at each meal. Exercise is very important. Walking, Cycling etc. Start slowly and gradually build up distance and speed. If you "go off the rails" one day, don't "beat yourself up". Try again the next day. Each day is the fist day of the rest of your life. As some one else mentioned weigh yourself on the first day, then once a week, as our bodies weight will fluctuate. Try not to be discouraged!!

[bangkokpoppys]

There is always an underlying reason behind every behavior, I would suspect you would know what it is (ie stress, anxiety etc..) - for me I eat too much because of stress and lack of planning (over-committing).

This is one of the best resources I have seen online in terms of depression support.

http://www.findingoptimism.com/blog/depression/how-to-support-someone-with-depression/

Find the cause, treat the symptoms.

Another idea is to shock yourself by getting a full Dr wellness check at Bumrungrad or other hospital. Nothing like a physician telling you how long you'll live for to motivate.

Good luck.

[johnsuma]

Living in a island 500 X500 meters sq. With no mac donald, no bear, no chips, drink lot of water eat the fishs that come to see you. Recommanded: lot of funny books

good luck anyway!

[hellodolly]

@ OP

Change your life, bro. Ain't nothing more to it than that.

Forget about diets and whinging fat slobs who talk about metabolism.

.................

I'm six foot one and a half (187 cm) and weigh 92kg. I'm overweight. My BMI is a tad over 25.

I put on 5 kilos recently because I damaged my knee playing football. Couldn't walk for almost a week. I gained weight.

Within a month, I'll lose it all. This is called determination.

...................

Be active. Do things. Walk. Run. Turn off your computer and get out there and do stuff.

Understand that fat people are weak and disgusting. They are self-loathing failures.

Never go down that road.

Beg to differ I am losing weight and because of physical problems get out very little. Have some floor exercises I can do. You on the other hand gain 5 kilos in a week. Might I suggest you change your diet and life style if that is all it takes for you to gain 5 kilos in a week.

I am losing weight slowly because that is what my plan is. I set goals of 5 kilos and am very happy when I reach them. Also no despair if it stays there for a while I just keep on going and eventually I start losing again.

I try to think positive as losing is a negative thought so I set a goal I am going to weigh.

[Powder]

I have a good solution for your problem, but its up to you if you succeed.

You can take diet after diet, but it wont work for you, as it looks like.

Start your life with weatgrass powder. its also for sale in Thailand.

Its the most healthy superfood you can find. I dont sell it, i am a user myself.

Everything you really need you will find in weatgrass powder. I changed my daily eat patron.

I start with a weatgrassshake and some fruit. 1 time per day dinner and 1 shake again. you ll hungry again take another shake.

You will feel great after a while.

You eat things your body cant handle.

Good luck, whatever you choose to do

[Jingthing]

Everyone's a diet guru, so I won't even mention garcinia cambogia!

[Espen]

I would really like to say to you that you shouldn`t care what other people think about you. It is who you are inside that matters. Size doesn`t matter.And so on and so on.

But when it comes to myself, I have to watch what I eat all the time, especially the 10 last years. (I am 39.). I like to have a fit body so exercise is a natural thing for me but calorie rich food is an addiction. It makes me happy just to think about it, but I know I can`t eat what I want all the time so it is like a constant rehab convincing myself every day what I should eat instead of what I want to eat.

It is a hell of a job to loose weight, and once you`ve done it, it`s a hell of a job to keep the weight you want to have. But you get used to it.

It is worth it to have a body I am happy with, I hope you can find the strength to have one too. (For your own sake.)

[klauskunkel]

I go to the gym everyday and work out hard for 60-90min, I also run 5km in the early evening everyday. My diet is: I alternate eating anything I like one day, the next day only fruit, I drink only water (no soda pop, no beer). I have been doing this regime since two years now and feel great. I lost my potbelly, my love handles and regained my sixpack stomach. I also noticed that I eat less and become full very fast. I am now 51 years old and have never ever exercised before. I now weigh 70kg, before it was 90kg.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Being fat is a serious no-no.

It's 80% diet and 20% exercise. Go low carb - not easy in LOS, I know - and hit the gym for cardio and resistance training.

I would say that it's even 95% food and 5% exercise (from my own personal experience of loosing 50 kg in a 6-months period).

I was used to avoid eating rice/noodles here, whenever I was eating out then I would order specifically without rice (mehao kao), and usually 4 or 5 portions, mostly meat.

Exercise is what makes you lose weight, and keep it off.

It also cures depression, which often causes eating too much.

Once you get the exercise level right, your desire to eat will decrease, and your weight gains will be stopped.

Stop eating all fried food now, no gassy drinks at all (yes, no beer and no coke), avoid beef and pork dishes.

No bread, no pastry, no pies, nothing made from wheat.

When you eat out, divide the rice portion in half, leave that on the plate.

At the weight you are, swim for 1 hour every day until you are down to 100kg.

Most other forms of exercise will likely cause knee and ankle injury at your current weight.

I used to be fat, when in my 40s and 50s (nearly 100kg), now I'm 80Kg, hoping for 75Kg soon.

Today I've eaten a snickers bar and 1 latte yen (mai waan), that's it, energy food for walking through the jungle to Wat Doi Suthep.

(I did take a banana leaf meal with me, cow man sang kayaar, sticky rice in coconut oil with sweet egg custard, but didn't feel the need to eat it)

Just thinking about having my one and only meal of the day. Probably nam prik ong with sticky rice.

Edited June 24, 2013 by AnotherOneAmerican

[BuriramRes]

I have never been that overweight, but when I was in my 50's I went on a modified "Atkins" diet. It was hard to get onto but after about 2 weeks it was no trouble. Could eat as much as youliked, as long as it was the right sort of wood.

Once you get onto it, the weight drops off.

[yoslim]

Also being a cheap charlie helps a lot to diet, all that fast food is so expensive, a big mac meal is now 155 baht in pattaya, Pizza and other Italian foods is easy 300+ baht and the water from the machine at 1 baht per liter is so much cheaper than soft drinks or beer

[BradinAsia]

consider a change in lifestyle instead of a diet mindset

I've heard that diets eventually fail in about 99.9% of cases. I agree with rookball,

forget diets, try a new mindset.

Before I retired ion 2007, I weighed 243 ibs, a lot for a guy only 5' 9" tall. In these

6 years, with my girlfriend's help I've lost over 30 lbs and have kept it off.

She helped me to transition to fresh raw fruits and vegetables. For years I've been

a vegetarian (+seafood) so this was not so difficult. I have gradually become much

more health conscious.

I'm now wheat-free, gluten-free, and also avoid fried foods like the plague. I feel

better than I ever have and I don't have trouble buying shirts anymore.

A Japanese nutritionist friend in Tokyo once told me some valuable advice.

Eating healthy and controlling weight is not about dieting, but about educating

yourself so that you can make intelligent choices.

For example: choosing between a T-Bone steak or Baked salmon dinner.

The T-Bone steak tastes great, but is fattening and not very healthy. The

baked salmon tastes great, but much healthier and lower in calories.

If you are 65 pounds overweight, which one will you choose.

Good luck to you.