Longest You Have Gone Without Going Back Home

[qualtrough]

When I first came here I met a man who had arrived in Thailand on a company assignment in 1953 and had never returned to his home country (UK). That must have been 1981, so that guy had not returned home for 28 years. I thought at the time that there must have been something that was keeping him from returning home. It wasn't money, because he had a good job here. Myself, I like to go back at least once a year to visit my parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, etc. I would be interested in hearing from anyone who has not returned to their home country for a long stretch of time, and their reason for not doing so if they care to share.

[naka]

13 years ... No real reason ... I just forgot to go home.

Naka.

Edited April 5, 2006 by naka

[barryofthailand]

I've lived here for three years now. No family left in the states, and I have a family here now. We will return home in a couple of years to give my son and wife a look at the states.

Barry

[terdsak_12]

13 years ... No real reason ... I just forgot to go home.

Naka.

Me too!!! Went back first time last X'mas.

[The Dude]

I suspect there is a multitude of reasons why people don't return home for long periods or ever:

1. on the run from the law

2. not want to spend the cash

3. not have the cash to spend

4. no family left back home

5. laziness

6. family blacksheep

7. obsessed with thailand

8. disowned family

9. can't stomach long flights

I'm sure there are more

[Gary A]

I average about every three years but I'm hoping to break that record.

I came over in 1991 to set up a factory. I recruited a really sharp young man from the US to help me. He ended up getting married, has two boys now and has NEVER been back to the US. I asked him why he doesn't go back for a visit since he is from a large family. He told me that they know where he is at and if any of them want to see him they can come over here. He has done very well for himself. He has his own company in Korat and consults a number of companies.

[PREM-R]

Maybe after a few years Thailand becomes 'home' and the reasons to return to your country of origin diminish.

[chanchao]

3-4 years or so....

Primary reason being that I can't find many more reasons to visit my home country compared to visiting Ethiopia or Bhutan or ..

(Hmm. Bhutan actually could be interesting though.)

[jdinasia]

Meet the family overseas in places that have real interest to me. I am planning no a trip to the states with a friend or two from here this year I guess.

[Noel]

Tomorrow will be the 12th anniversary of me permanently living in Thailand.

The last time I went back was in 1996, having been back once some 18 months prior.

I last went back mainly as a ‘duty’ visit, but also to check on some business matters and to give my Thai girlfriend a glimpse of the UK.

What amazed me most was it was as if time had stood still. We popped in to my old local pub and there were all the regulars perched on ‘their’ bar stools. As this was early evening, I began predicting five minutes in advance of certain characters' arrival. I was correct five out of six times, being wrong once because ‘Pete the Plumber’ had unbeknown to me died some months before.

The regulars were moaning about everything from the traffic on the M4 to the price of cigarettes to the state of the country: nothing had changed.

I was asked the usual questions which predictably included such classics as 'have you been on holiday?' and as to what is was like living in ‘Taiwan’.

After an hour or so, it was as if I had never left.

After five days of visiting family and friends, involving a fair amount of travelling which was good from my girlfriend’s ‘tourist’ point of view, quite frankly I had had enough.

We changed our tickets and flew back after seven days, rather than stay for the intended two weeks.

I actually felt ‘homesick’ for Thailand…

If the truth be told, I actually see more of my family and real friends now than I would have had I stayed in UK.

My close family come to Pattaya for a three week holiday every year and several friends use me as an excuse for their annual (or more) jaunts to LOS.

Moreover, in this age of the Internet with Skype, MSN etc using webcams, I have the means to keep in touch with whomever I choose at my fingertips.

So, to answer the ‘why not?’ part of OP’s question, as far as I am concerned I have no reason to return ‘home’ and most definitely no desire...

[cooL_guY_corY]

hey Noel i understand exactly where you coming from, on my way home to canada the last 2 times, ive had to drink big bottles of sangsom at the seattle airport on the way home just to stomach the foulness that exists here..i can only imagine england.. jesus

Edited April 5, 2006 by cooL_guY_corY

[Tywais]

14 years ago I took a leave of abscence from work at the university (wasn't ready to burn my bridges yet) and came here for a year to see if I could make a go of it, both getting work and evaluating my comfort level. After one year went back home to close my affairs and ship everything back here. So last time was 13 years ago.

[leisurely]

Three years. Friends and relatives come to see us here or we meet somewhere that everyone wants to visit. Daughters both dislike the weather in the UK and for both this is home. Cost is another factor. Time and effort too. Call it laziness but as someone already said, if they want to see us let them come to us.

[The Dude]

The Dude has no plans to abandon the US. Semi annual trips should do the trick. I get enjoyment out of the trips back

[Bull]

One/twice a year.

Did not run away from anything, have the cash to do it, family and friends back home...and the 14 hours in the plane are soon forgotten when sipping a glass of good wine sitting by the sea back home in good company...

Fortunately I come from a country with good weather, beaches, affordable good food and wine and with definitely more nightlife fun. (Maybe that is why you see fewer southern Europeans than Swedes, Brits,Dutch,...around the streets of Bangkok)

Coming to Bangkok meant that now I have two families, two houses, two groups of friends...so I guess moving here made a definite improving to my life!

Bull

[PeaceBlondie]

After both my first year and second year, I had to go to a Western country to get another visa anyway, so I chose my home country. It was good, but hectic. This year, I don't need to get a visa, and it's not worth it. Those who want to keep in touch with me do so by internet e-mail, and they have my phone number (though nobody has ever called). Some of my kids just don't bother, even on holidays, to send me an e-mail; that's okay.

Even my son who makes almost $9,000 per month with his wife, is too busy to switch his condo timeshare to Phuket for one little week. Too hard to bring the kids along, pay all the airfare, etc. Again, that's okay.

The kid in Ireland is having a wedding, June 2007. I'll fly seven time zones, and the other relatives can fly six. I don't plan any trips back to Texas or to Florida, through late 2007.

I honestly expect it'll be a funeral that might get me back sooner. I have a life here; they know I'm a wanderer. We're all on good terms, but we're not so close that we have to see each other every year. Back in the USA, we used to go two years apart.

[tutsiwarrior]

I left the US in 1987 and since have been back twice for two weeks all together...once when my dad's cancer became active again in 1993 with just a few months to live (paid for by the company out of compassionate leave allowance, Jakarta to LA)...the last time I went in 1999 I needed to get my Calif. drivers license renewed in order to have a valid document to present to get a UAE license (also paid for by the company...they had a surplus in the site budget, Abu Dhabi to SF).

Never would have paid for the trips myself...nothing left to see there that hasn't already been seen...besides, I'm busy elsewhere...

(bbbbut, tutsi...what about your loved ones...family and friends???) ah ain't got no family or friends over there no mo' (sniff)...ah don't need no one (sniff, sniff)...ah's strong! ah's a man!, ah's...blb, blub, blub...wah, wah...waaaahhhhh (the keyboard awash with tears again...and it's brand new...)

it's remarkable what absence and the passage of time can do to relationships that were once so vital to your being that you once thought that you could never live without them...

[Neeranam]

I think about 7 years was the longest due to my selfishness and drug addiction amongst other things.

I can take the family back about once every two years now, and it is wonderful.

I went back in 93 as my grandmother was sick - the old warrior is now thinking of coming out here in May, as fit as a fiddle!

[Cpt_M0ney_Sh0t]

5 years now only going back to the States for deaths in the family or for buis.

[Toni]

Maybe after a few years Thailand becomes 'home' and the reasons to return to your country of origin diminish.

You hit the nail on the head! When one feel home it is not necessary to go "home". My home is there where I live. To adapt and to feel confortable I think one need to close the previous book. Why to think right away suspicious? I have lived in Spain for 15 years before, my "home" was Holland and did not feel the desperate need to go "home" as so many expats there are feeling. When I wanted to see my parents I went on a Saturday and went back Sunday because I felt happy and at "home" in Spain!

[Orion76]

I haven't been to my home country in 7 years.... Have been wanting to go but I keep putting it off, mostly because I'm lazy and don't like the long flight, the jetlag etc.

I'm going for sure in 2 months though... it might be a little weird visiting my home country like a tourist, I've never even seen a Euro before, I'll probably look like an idiot staring at the coins to figure out what it's worth when paying for something

[Axel]

...

I'll probably look like an idiot staring at the coins to figure out what it's worth when paying for something

Guess so. I was once on busines trip standing in Zurich around the main railway station and reading the manual how to buy a ticket for the tramway.

Comments by some not so sober ones "Look at him, why does he not ask his bank for advise".

And Zurich is a city where I used to live for a couple of years.

[girlx]

i haven't been back for a year and a half and probably won't go back unless i have to. i am the family black sheep, and my friends there are travellers too (that i can meet somewhere other than the US)... i do have some stuff in storage that i am anxious not to lose but that is it. do other people have stuff in their countries they have been trying to hold on to? or do you make a clean break. hmmm. haven't decided yet.

[Erwin1011]

Last time I was at my country of birth was 25 years ago. Never went back. Never felt the need. Home is where I live at a particular moment.

[ilyushin]

Arrived Thailand 1981. Spent most of that time here , but try to visit home when I can. Longest time without visit home was a 6 year spell. Travelled other places and got busy

[PeaceBlondie]

Yeah, CMNoon, it must be empty; I can hear your echo.

I'm amazed so many of us can just stay away from home. But most of us are on the opposite side of the world, or nearly so. My trip to Shanghai next week won't have any jet leg, but my buddy has to fly through 11 time zones to get there. He'll be wiped out for at least a day. But he has to go, because his Chinese family lives there. We Occidentals often aren't so attached to extended family.

[jackr]

hey Noel i understand exactly where you coming from, on my way home to canada the last 2 times, ive had to drink big bottles of sangsom at the seattle airport on the way home just to stomach the foulness that exists here..i can only imagine england.. jesus

[English Noodles]

hey Noel i understand exactly where you coming from, on my way home to canada the last 2 times, ive had to drink big bottles of sangsom at the seattle airport on the way home just to stomach the foulness that exists here..i can only imagine england.. jesus

Cheeky bastard

[rono]

Last time i was in my "home country " was in 1995 , had to go becuase my boss wanted me to go see one of his suppliers. Spent 2-3 days and became home sick, missed my wife and daughter.

Didn't go back since. Keep in touch with friends and family through email, msn, skype and phone.

[Noel]

hey Noel i understand exactly where you coming from, on my way home to canada the last 2 times, ive had to drink big bottles of sangsom at the seattle airport on the way home just to stomach the foulness that exists here..i can only imagine england.. jesus

Cheeky bastard

Steady up Noodles, 'cheeky' is a bit strong...