I do not know how it is for you when you rise in the morning, but it really seems to be harder for me.

It's not my imagination, and I just lie there and I don't even want to roll over.

My old bones are just so stiff every morning.

I work out but have a ponch, and I may have a lift for my bigger jowls.

I go swimming every morning to get the kinks out, and the water feels so good down there,

At the pool.

These jowls of mine, and everything, seemed to get bigger as soon as I got to Thailand and looked around the first week.

It is true that I do not walk as fast as I used to, and I think the angle when I walk has changed. It looks sort of like I am carrying more in front than in back.

I used to look cool on my big motorcycle 40 years ago at 18, the girls all thought me chic.

Now, though I don't care what I look like to most of the locals, I just don't want the Thai chicks to look away when I go by. But no matter what I try, I just can't seem to hide these jowls which protrude below my helmet that seems like it is smaller on my head than it used to be.

I mean my helmet is not tighter on my head or anything, because I can always order a bigger size.

It is just that when I look in the full floor mirror with honest eye, I can tell the proportions are different,

And it seems like my appearance and physical ratios have changed,

And with my helmet on, and my jowls and beard making everything above look smaller,

It's like I am coming down with a bad case of Microcephaly.

Have you noticed that when you ride around Chiang Mai on your motor scooters?

We old guys have this bigger gut, fattier girth in the shoulders, and immense jowls, sporting the new beards we grew just before coming to Thailand.

All these things, honestly, add up and make my helmet seem smaller.

But where was I?

My question was, "Now that I've come to Thailand, and Chiang Mai, do you think these Thai Beauties here will believe me Failstaff, the comic actor from Shakespere?

On my motor scooter

With my jowls

And my new beard.

If so, I do not really care that much. I just think to myself,

"Why I oughta just shake my spere at them",

And I ride on.

So how is it for you riding around Chiang Mai?

Do you ever feel like Thai Beauties see you as some comic opera figure?

And call you Failstaff behind your back?

But where was I?

Trolling again.

CLOSED