Why was I so angry?

[weegee]

With reference to my topic last night, regarding 2 guys being arrested for building themselves a boat.....

A lot of people are aware that I have spent a lot of time and money in purchasing equipment to assist my local community. The financial investment was big enough, but you cant put a price on the time. Once I started I got assistance for a while from the Thai community, as they could see the difference to the living environment, and I was also invited to participate in demolishing old broken down houses, which became a haven for snakes, including a 3 mtr King Cobra. That's not including the snake infested long grass and rubbish....surrounding the immediate areas.

Now , when I became sick not long ago, I noticed no one stepped forward to assist me, and I felt abandoned....lately the comment from local people here is, when am I going to mow the grass again....I just look at myself and think, why didn't you help me, when I needed help.

Then last night I read that I can be arrested for being community minded.....Perhaps now some will understand the anger behind my topic

theblether is with me now and will post some relevant photos....

[theblether]

[maccaroni man]

A perfect example why the boys at immigration get a blank stare from me when they ask ; you love thai people?

[jbrain]

So actually that should have been

Amazing! It doesn't work Works !

One of the reasons I didn't reply to that particular topic at the time was because i would have been slagged off , as I would have posted something in the line of your current OP.

Edited September 21, 2013 by jbrain

[mauGR1]

I stopped to be helpful when i realized i was regarded as an idiot...Every now and then i fall for it again..But my skin is getting thicker

[pilm]

A lot of people are aware that I have spent a lot of time and money in purchasing equipment to assist my local community.

Lesson learned.

You cannot help Thais or their community, as they will only consider you an utter fool, and have no respect for you. They will just be thinking of abusing your good will without any sort of gratitude. While smiling and waiing and saying how good you are of course.

Most societies here are based on the crab in a bucket model. One tries to do good, get ahead, do something positive, the result is for the rest to sabotage them, take advantage of them, and pull them back in.

Edited September 21, 2013 by pilm

[Rsquared]

Yes unfortunately I have seen similar things......if there is no money to be made from it, the enthusiasm soon wanes. I still get strange stares from locals when they see me cutting the grass in my front yard. They are thinking...why he do that? cannot sell cut grass....unless of course it was lemongrass.

Cheers.

[Mr Average]

With reference to my topic last night, regarding 2 guys being arrested for building themselves a boat

No. You have it all wrong.

See this post: http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/669227-phuket-immigration-cracks-down-on-yachting-marine-industry/page-5#entry6844991

The two guys were arrested for having overstayed.

Look too at the bigger picture. Many of these boat builder are not hobbyists. They build boats in order to sell them. It's a business. And a business requires a company and the necessary documentation.

A lot of people are aware that I have spent a lot of time and money in purchasing equipment to assist my local community. I was also invited to participate in demolishing old broken down houses.

In other words, you undertook work which your visa probably does not entitle you to do. You did work which should have been done by a Thai, and the Thai should have been paid accordingly.

Whether you like it or not, you are depriving Thais of gainful employment.

I agree that it's all a bit silly, but do remember that you're here of your own volition. No one invited you to Thailand.

Edited September 21, 2013 by Mr Average

[Neeranam]

Looks like you live 'baan nok'. When I moved to Isarn(khon Kaen City) my wife and I had some issues fitting in. My wife is from Lopburi and was considered an outsider, as of course I was, coming from Aberdeen!

None of us could speak the local language although now we can and we have settled in and are part of our community. We even go to the community meetings.

Can you speak the local language? If not, maybe this is a major factor of not being accepted. If Thai came to my old community in Aberdeen and couldn't speak English, they'd have a similarly hard time. However if they learnt Doric and how to drink 10 pints of heavy, I'm sure we'd love them. If they started doing the work that the council should have done,like picking up all the broken Buckfast bottles, I'd probably think they were crazy.

The answer to happiness and therefore no anger in this country for me was acceptance of who I am and my standing, or lack of in the Thai social hierarchy. Acceptance of the things too that are out of my control to change. Even handing out money to all the neighbours would not change their opinion of me for the better.

Edited September 21, 2013 by Neeranam

[cpofc]

Have you ever considered that maybe you are trying too hard mate. Please don't take offence. I am not defending them, with my rose coloured glasses on, but trying to look at things from their point of view.

I can just imagine, lets say a cashed up, non english speaking, Uni educated Iranian turning up in a small, rural Australian town in Nth Queensland, campaigning to 'clean up the place' and attempting to mobilise the locals into community work bees and the like. Do you think some are not going to resent the hell out of it?

They, at least the vast majority, would not like it at all and would probably try to run you out of town. Our town might be a 'sh_t fight, but it's ours.

I get involved in my community here and don't have a problem, but I get involved in THEIR activities, I don't try to do things the other way around. Just go with the flow.

[thaimite]

many of us would like to help more with the local community, but are scared of the immigration rules. Everybody looses which is not a good thing at all

However, at least with those lovely photos of your hard work in progress immigration now have all the evidence they need to prosecute you.

[GirlDrinkDrunk]

do it if it makes you happy.

altruism with the expectation of gratitude is not altruism.

the upshot is you feel you are owed something.

you are not.

Edited September 21, 2013 by GirlDrinkDrunk

[Bluetongue]

Mate if you're not going to mow anymore I could sure use that ride-on mower

I must admit I didn't know what you were talking about so I stayed out of it. One thing I do know is that the Thai's around me do what they want and there's no putting them on my timetable. I often think my activities around the farm constitute work but according to my wife I'm just helping her she's the one actually doing it.

[weegee]

Mate if you're not going to mow anymore I could sure use that ride-on mower

I must admit I didn't know what you were talking about so I stayed out of it. One thing I do know is that the Thai's around me do what they want and there's no putting them on my timetable. I often think my activities around the farm constitute work but according to my wife I'm just helping her she's the one actually doing it.

That's the way I have always looked at it until now.....bloody shame really.

thank goodness I am getting old..........don't have to worry about it much longer....

[Patronus]

do it if it makes you happy.

altruism with the expectation of gratitude is not altruism.

the upshot is you feel you are owed something.

you are not.

Appreciation is not a payment.

[Thai at Heart]

With reference to my topic last night, regarding 2 guys being arrested for building themselves a boat

No. You have it all wrong.

See this post: http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/669227-phuket-immigration-cracks-down-on-yachting-marine-industry/page-5#entry6844991

The two guys were arrested for having overstayed.

Look too at the bigger picture. Many of these boat builder are not hobbyists. They build boats in order to sell them. It's a business. And a business requires a company and the necessary documentation.

A lot of people are aware that I have spent a lot of time and money in purchasing equipment to assist my local community. I was also invited to participate in demolishing old broken down houses.

In other words, you undertook work which your visa probably does not entitle you to do. You did work which should have been done by a Thai, and the Thai should have been paid accordingly.

Whether you like it or not, you are depriving Thais of gainful employment.

I agree that it's all a bit silly, but do remember that you're here of your own volition. No one invited you to Thailand.

That's as maybe. The question is why is his help of zero appreciation? Once that dawned on me, I left. Simple.

Basically no one gives a c**p about help given to them by a farang. Silent reciprocity and favours don't exist in Thailand when it comes to foreigners.

Edited September 21, 2013 by Thai at Heart

[HeijoshinCool]

..... remember that you're here of your own volition. No one invited you to Thailand.

Yes they did.

For years in the States the Thai government spent millions of dollars advertising "Amazing Thailand" and labeled itself the "Land of Smiles."

Maybe you weren't invited. I definitely was.

[jpinx]

With reference to my topic last night, regarding 2 guys being arrested for building themselves a boat

No. You have it all wrong.

See this post: http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/669227-phuket-immigration-cracks-down-on-yachting-marine-industry/page-5#entry6844991

The two guys were arrested for having overstayed.

Look too at the bigger picture. Many of these boat builder are not hobbyists. They build boats in order to sell them. It's a business. And a business requires a company and the necessary documentation.

A lot of people are aware that I have spent a lot of time and money in purchasing equipment to assist my local community. I was also invited to participate in demolishing old broken down houses.

In other words, you undertook work which your visa probably does not entitle you to do. You did work which should have been done by a Thai, and the Thai should have been paid accordingly.

Whether you like it or not, you are depriving Thais of gainful employment.

I agree that it's all a bit silly, but do remember that you're here of your own volition. No one invited you to Thailand.

That's as maybe. The question is why is his help of zero appreciation? Once that dawned on me, I left. Simple.

Basically no one gives a c**p about help given to them by a farang. Silent reciprocity and favours don't exist in Thailand when it comes to foreigners.

Don't feel so bad -- they are equally unappreciative of each other -- it's not just farangs

Has to be said -- the OP started to do something he wasn't asked to do, so why would anyone thank him ?

[mauGR1]

Mate if you're not going to mow anymore I could sure use that ride-on mower

I must admit I didn't know what you were talking about so I stayed out of it. One thing I do know is that the Thai's around me do what they want and there's no putting them on my timetable. I often think my activities around the farm constitute work but according to my wife I'm just helping her she's the one actually doing it.

That's the way I have always looked at it until now.....bloody shame really.

thank goodness I am getting old..........don't have to worry about it much longer....

@ OP...You don't need to get bitter anyway...Your own peace of mind is more important than the ungratefulness of some strangers

[MegaRanter]

Knowing what I now know Thailand, hard for me to get angry more than a few minutes.

Understanding the people around you is the key to everlasting happiness.

My next door neighbor in thonburi, don't talk to me, so I don't even acknowledge him, his wife, daughter, dog, to me he does nt exist. But the guy that lives after him, when I drive in to my place and he is outside, he will wait for me to park, disengage from the car after picking stuff up from around inside it, just to have a hearty banter about everything. Some times we go at it like half an hour.

Don't go looking to be appreciated. Do what you feel like doing.

[jpinx]

This really has nothing to do with them being Thai -- you will find the same types of people in a similar environment in any country. Plenty of grumpy buggers in UK --- or have they all come to Thailand ???

[David48]

Mate if you're not going to mow anymore I could sure use that ride-on mower

Would you like me to drop by and cut your grass ...

Apologies BT ... just saw the opportunity for the line.

[Patronus]

No. You have it all wrong.

See this post: http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/669227-phuket-immigration-cracks-down-on-yachting-marine-industry/page-5#entry6844991

The two guys were arrested for having overstayed.

Look too at the bigger picture. Many of these boat builder are not hobbyists. They build boats in order to sell them. It's a business. And a business requires a company and the necessary documentation.

A lot of people are aware that I have spent a lot of time and money in purchasing equipment to assist my local community. I was also invited to participate in demolishing old broken down houses.

In other words, you undertook work which your visa probably does not entitle you to do. You did work which should have been done by a Thai, and the Thai should have been paid accordingly.

Whether you like it or not, you are depriving Thais of gainful employment.

I agree that it's all a bit silly, but do remember that you're here of your own volition. No one invited you to Thailand.

That's as maybe. The question is why is his help of zero appreciation? Once that dawned on me, I left. Simple.

Basically no one gives a c**p about help given to them by a farang. Silent reciprocity and favours don't exist in Thailand when it comes to foreigners.

Don't feel so bad -- they are equally unappreciative of each other -- it's not just farangs

Has to be said -- the OP started to do something he wasn't asked to do, so why would anyone thank him ?

I may be wrong, but I suspect that you would have...

[jpinx]

That's as maybe. The question is why is his help of zero appreciation? Once that dawned on me, I left. Simple.

Basically no one gives a c**p about help given to them by a farang. Silent reciprocity and favours don't exist in Thailand when it comes to foreigners.

Don't feel so bad -- they are equally unappreciative of each other -- it's not just farangs

Has to be said -- the OP started to do something he wasn't asked to do, so why would anyone thank him ?

I may be wrong, but I suspect that you would have...

wrong - I would not appreciate someone coming into my community and by virtue of their "wealth", doing things which show the place to have been a comfortable dump.

If the OP wanted to live in a pristine village, he could have chosen one. Some people can not choose what they actually want -- they choose something else and try to make into what they want -- and then complain when it's not appreciated??? <deleted> ???

[weegee]

looks like the boaties may have done wrong, so yep, they should be arrested....I go along with that.

But from today I wont be coming down from the shed looking like a coal miner everyday.....after reading your replies.

I have never required any thanks for anything I have done in my life, that's not the way I am....forget that road.

The Spirit of goodwill has passed, so on with the rest of the things I have left.

[jpinx]

looks like the boaties may have done wrong, so yep, they should be arrested....I go along with that.

But from today I wont be coming down from the shed looking like a coal miner everyday.....after reading your replies.

I have never required any thanks for anything I have done in my life, that's not the way I am....forget that road.

The Spirit of goodwill has passed, so on with the rest of the things I have left.

I hope you will find the happiness and satisfaction you seek, but remember that "The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

[kannot]

Dont waste your time assisting the local community they really dont give a <deleted>, let them carry on their lives in their hovels etc with their broken roads and lack of decent water supply.

Found this out a long time ago, all they want to do is make up stories about you.

[kcore]

Rest assured that your act of good will not go unrewaeded, if not now but, in the future. Many people do good deeds to feel good about them selves thus, defeating the purpose and intent of true " giving". My son recently questioned me about a philosphy that i try to live by which is, do something nice for a total stranger everyday. My son, Asking me if I am not living this way as some sort of a self serving ( feel good about myself) action. It gave me geat pause and self reflection into my true motives. Good question!! I find that here in LOS, the chances of " what goes around , comes around " are much greater than in the particular area of the good ' ol USA that I hail from. Perhaps off topic just my 2 cents.

[Dancealot]

Don't feel so bad -- they are equally unappreciative of each other -- it's not just farangs

On the contrary; the perception of appreciation is culture based. As a Western, I value different views from Eastern.

[cornishcarlos]

I never get a thank you from the MIL whenever I help her out. This frustrates Mrs Cornish more than it does me... It doesn't mean she doesn't appreciate my help, just that she doesn't express that appreciation through verbal means. Just the way she is I guess !!

Guaranteed though, there will be a a very tasty meal cooked by MIL that day or the next and that is her showing her appreciation and saying thank you, knowing full well that I will appreciate her cooking efforts even more. Although I do always thank her when I'm finished