mekongsailor Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 A friend of mine is complaining about his long term girlfriend. He said she shows little or almost no signs of affection like hugging,kissing,cuddling,holding hands etc....... The girl is not working in the naughty district or so. And now that i think about it, i haven't seen it either (except in the bar areas). So, do they really don't like it or is there an unwritten rule that it is simply "not done"? Anyone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gsxrnz Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 You've answered your own question. Times are a'changing, especially for the young, but essentially you've nailed the PDA side of Thai society. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Pilotman Posted October 28, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted October 28, 2013 Mine does, and complains if I don't! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FiftyTwo Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 In private they love to hug. In public many won't make physical contact. Some like kissing, some don't ...... mouth kissing is not the norm in Thai relationships. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Gsxrnz Posted October 28, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted October 28, 2013 In private they love to hug. In public many won't make physical contact. Some like kissing, some don't ...... mouth kissing is not the norm in Thai relationships. Yeah mines the same. She does like a sniff-kiss though, which is what they're primarily tuned into as opposed to lip kissing. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post villagefarang Posted October 28, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted October 28, 2013 Come on you can’t generalize about something like this. Some do, some don’t, it all depends. My wife is a hugger and so are many of our friends, but not all. Some Thais are quite modern and open to new things, while others are conservative and resist all change. Then there is everything in-between. It could be, she just isn’t that in to him. It could be a number of other things as well. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeThePoster Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 Not only do I get lots of hugs, I also get the occasional reach around. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mekongsailor Posted October 28, 2013 Author Share Posted October 28, 2013 (edited) You've answered your own question. Times are a'changing, especially for the young, but essentially you've nailed the PDA side of Thai society. She's 28, he's 30. They have a relationship for 5 years now. He said that (sorry for my "not so good English") she's also very introvert. IE not discussing general topics like politics, the news etc... Edited October 28, 2013 by mekongsailor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FiftyTwo Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 You've answered your own question. Times are a'changing, especially for the young, but essentially you've nailed the PDA side of Thai society. She's 28, he's 30. They have a relationship for 5 years now. He said that (sorry for my "not so good English") she's also very introvert. IE not discussing general topics like politics, the news etc... No signs of affection in private (I assume they are living together) would seem like a indication she doesn't like him that much. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crumpled Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 (edited) Public shows of affection are generally frowned upon. Holding hands seems to be the main exception to this. In private, if she is not holding hands, kissing and cuddling, you'd have to ask yourself why not. Consider the old adage of prostitutes, That they reserve kisses for their boyfriends / husbands Where is the love if they are a cold fish? edit.... Mine kisses, cuddles, holds hands all the time in private but shies away from everything except holding hands in public. Edited October 28, 2013 by crumpled Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A1Str8 Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 Every single one I have met so far loved and needed hugs and such. If a woman doesn't show any sign that she wants it, that means only one thing: she needs it like every other human, but not interested in getting it from that person she is with. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
7by7 Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 (edited) When I first met my wife she was shy about even holding hands in public; telling me that in Thailand it's just not done. After living in the UK for over 13 years she is no longer shy about this, and will even kiss me, or let me kiss her, in public when me meet or part. But any public show of affection beyond this is a no no; and she still expresses shock when she sees an English couple canoodling in public. At home in private, though; different story. As for not discussing the news, politics etc.; not everyone is interested in doing this. Has your friend tried talking to her about topics she is interested in? She may be complaining to her friends that he never talks to her! Edited October 28, 2013 by 7by7 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunnydrops Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 My wife loves hugs and kisses, sits close on the sofa watching TV. But the Thai norm is not in public, so only quick hugs and hand holding there. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mekongsailor Posted October 28, 2013 Author Share Posted October 28, 2013 Every single one I have met so far loved and needed hugs and such. If a woman doesn't show any sign that she wants it, that means only one thing: she needs it like every other human, but not interested in getting it from that person she is with. I think you're right. Sometimes I think there is a "win-win" situation. In this case: "I take care for you if you take care for me" Then "love" (and hugging etc....) has nothing to do with it. It is just a business deal. But both parties have a different idea of the "win". For my friend it is affection, love and sex and for his girlfriend (I presume) it's the "financial safety net" for her and her family. In the west, similar deals are made. But then, both parties are aware of the what this deal means and accept and are aware of the consequences of that. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeijoshinCool Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 My GF hugs my dog a lot. Does that count? But, she does like . Me, not the dog. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anto Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 My Thai wife is not a great hugger ( she does have moments of affection though ) . The best huggers in my life have been a few Thai ladys of the night .( i.e ,hugging all night long ) .They are not all looking to get it over as quick as possible . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevvy Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 (edited) I have a great wife who shows me so much affection . Edited October 28, 2013 by kevvy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevvy Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 Many of us are part of a hugging society. Among friends and acquaintances it is quite common to arrive at a gathering and dish out hugs all around. To exchange a hug along with a greeting is a common, everyday thing for many. Likewise, that same majority tends to hug people goodbye when exiting an event. It’s socially acceptable in western countries In Thailand an affectionate hug can make a Thai feel uncomfortable.Don't touch, hug or kiss Thais when you meet them. Thai people are not familiar with this kind of body language. It may be, as some have observed, that Asians are shy. In general, any physical contact is considered inappropriate. Although you may do it out of respect and with all good intentions, it will make them feel uncomfortable, especially if it is done in public.Most Thais are not used to this type of gesture and have no idea how to react to it. It may leave everyone, including you, feeling awkward.I personally "had to teach" my wife all about affection ,she had no idea about it. Now I cannot go no where without a hug and a gentle kiss from her even in public she does it . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theoldgit Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 Nonsensical remark removed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
age4short Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 Definitely more when we go to the shopping mall.... Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David48 Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 Definitely more when we go to the shopping mall.... Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app 1st post ... what a beauty ... to Thai Visa. Most girls get excited when they go shopping ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thaddeus Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 Definitely more when we go to the shopping mall.... Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app 1st post ... what a beauty ... to Thai Visa. Most girls get excited when they go shopping ... Welcome seconded. I get a hug from my landlady when I pay the rent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
age4short Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 Thanks for the welcome, I was expecting to get shot down :-) Greetings to all on TV Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swissie Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 Hugging, kissing, cuddling is simply not part of Thai social behavior. It's an "Import-Product" of the west. A Thai-Lady, familiar with those proceedings and speaking "good english", has already disclosed her professional background. Like it or not ! Cheers. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WitawatWatawit Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 Not only do I get lots of hugs, I also get the occasional reach around. Big hands, huh? My ex was one of those very proper types in public. In those days she even frowned on eating while walking. Today she lives in Germany, where she says she feels very comfortable with the local mores. Wonder why? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MegaRanter Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 I am a catholic, during the mass there is a time we acknowledge or greet or shake hands with people seated near to you. Both my wife and ex wife always kiss me on the lips while hugging me at the same time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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