I'm a violent alcoholic

[JHolmesJr]

OP…you need to take up something positive and potentially less destructive….like Bingo.

Soi Buakhao has an excellent chapter of bingo enthusiasts….who congregate at one of the defunct bars there. PM me for info.

[transam]

@Transnam need to be careful as workaholism is another one on the "isms" :-)

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Our countries were built on WORK, not folk complaining about snorting stuff.....

[aussiesnottie]

Our countries were built on WORK, not folk complaining about snorting stuff.....

Very simplistic. There's an issue of work life balance that addicts struggle with. What snorting stuff are you talking about?

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[transam]

Our countries were built on WORK, not folk complaining about snorting stuff.....

Very simplistic. There's an issue of work life balance that addicts struggle with. What snorting stuff are you talking about?

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You can't read between my lines..Thats OK.........I grew up in an era where we had to work and fend for ourselves..Drunks, junkies made their life what it is....I didn't........

[aussiesnottie]

You can't read between my lines..Thats OK.........I grew up in an era where we had to work and fend for ourselves..Drunks, junkies made their life what it is....I didn't........

Ok with such a lack of empathy why are you on this forum about drinking problems? Just because it used to be like that doesn't make it right. The world has progressed from just letting people die if they can't walk for example to actually supporting them. Much the same with alcohol addiction, yes alcohol is a drug, to treating the problem so they can become a productive member of society again. That's the type of worked I live in and want to continue living in. A world of progress.

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[transam]

You can't read between my lines..Thats OK.........I grew up in an era where we had to work and fend for ourselves..Drunks, junkies made their life what it is....I didn't........

Ok with such a lack of empathy why are you on this forum about drinking problems? Just because it used to be like that doesn't make it right. The world has progressed from just letting people die if they can't walk for example to actually supporting them. Much the same with alcohol addiction, yes alcohol is a drug, to treating the problem so they can become a productive member of society again. That's the type of worked I live in and want to continue living in. A world of progress.

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I admire your efforts..........

[Neeranam]

Our countries were built on WORK, not folk complaining about snorting stuff.....

Very simplistic. There's an issue of work life balance that addicts struggle with. What snorting stuff are you talking about?

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You can't read between my lines..Thats OK.........I grew up in an era where we had to work and fend for ourselves..Drunks, junkies made their life what it is....I didn't........

You obviously have no idea how ignorant you are on alcoholism and drug addiction.

This is not the forum for your trying to be clever one liners.

[transam]

Our countries were built on WORK, not folk complaining about snorting stuff.....

Very simplistic. There's an issue of work life balance that addicts struggle with. What snorting stuff are you talking about?

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

You can't read between my lines..Thats OK.........I grew up in an era where we had to work and fend for ourselves..Drunks, junkies made their life what it is....I didn't........

You obviously have no idea how ignorant you are on alcoholism and drug addiction.

This is not the forum for your trying to be clever one liners.

Agreed...........

[fang37]

"Swapping the witch for the bitch" - I can see no logic in that at all.

"Soul disease" - I can relate to. It is not just a physical illness!

There may be many routes to l/t sobriety but AA is active in LOS. The God thing is not easy BUT a God of your understanding is perfectly OK provided that you accept that you are not God. God can be the AA group, a door knob - anything but you.

As you are dealing with a deadly disease, I have found that assistance from fellow recovering alcoholics is supreme.

Face your fears, call out for help, walk thru the doors of AA, take the cotton wool out of your ears & put it in your mouth.

Finding a member who you will feel comfortable with - not easy - we tend to be loners. Soon, I had about 3 friends - one in early sobriety, mid-term & an oldie. They all have something to contribute.

Get a Big Book & other AA literature. Be honest with others & yourself & THE PROMISES will come to you.

[gerryBScot]

My experience of quitting and staying stopped is that the compulsion and obsession in me is alive, well and kicking even though I haven't had a drink for a wee while. However in that time I can sense a deep shift in the way I think and indeed live my life. This keeps me out of far more trouble than I care to imagine. The truth is that recovery is a life long job, it is about continuous growth and development. In some respects it is like the onion, layer upon ayer upon layer. I am grateful I am sober today and able to think clearly.

[phuketsub]

there is a drug (naltrexone i think) that is used for drug addicts to stop them from getting high and has been used in trials for alchoholics with great success . maybe you could see a doctor and ask about this .

Swap one drug for another drug, that does not make any sense at all.

This is very true in my experience. I was prescribed clonezapam by a Thai psychiatrist about six years ago after I had a panic attack that was almost certainly induced by alcohol withdrawal caused by lao daeng.

I used it as a sleeping pill and stayed on it because it would 'knock me out' when I would have otherwise drunk myself to sleep.

She also gave me Zoloft, but I decided to stop taking that after just a few months.

I am probably still an alcoholic by most definitions, but I went through a period last year when I would fall asleep many nights without taking my nightly dose of clonezapam.

The following day I would have no idea why I was feeling so anxious, weird and tunnel visioned. It was terrible, especially when I was teaching, driving or in a shopping mall. I really thought I had diabetes, Alzheimer's or was going crazy. I also suspected it was alcohol withdrawal, so I started day drinking, but that just made matters worse -- no accidents or incidents, fortunately, but just increased anxiety.

A few months ago I was driving my daughter to school in the morning and I was so stressed out and tunnel-visioned that I had to pull over into the (aptly named in this case) breakdown lane. I had driven like that alone before, but I wouldn't do it with my daughter in the car.

I had my head on the steering wheel as she asked what the problem was. Even though I always thought of clonezapam as a sleeping pill,with no other recourse I popped one in the morning. Within ten minutes I not only felt fine, but actually enjoyed driving again.

It was a huge relief to finally learn the source of the problem, which I now know is called 'benzo withdrawal'.

Now I am tapering off very slowly from clonezapam (aka klonipin), but it isn't easy.

I am so disappointed that my doctors never informed me about the dangers of long-term use of benzodiezapene drugs like clonezepam and none ever suggested I try to get off it.

My only point in writing this is to warn other heavy drinkers and/or alcoholics not to go down this dangerous road in an attempt to deal with drinking problems.

To the OP: I truly wish you the best of luck.

[Neeranam]

^^^^

Good luck - "the only way out is through".

Every withdrawal I had, I looked at it like a blessing as I was getting cleaner and nearer the end of the road.

Most experts advise changing over to diazepam to taper with.

[phuketsub]

^^^^

Good luck - "the only way out is through".

Every withdrawal I had, I looked at it like a blessing as I was getting cleaner and nearer the end of the road.

Most experts advise changing over to diazepam to taper with.

That's a great quote; I never heard it before.

It's odd that I used to use diazepam (Valium et al) occasionally when I lived in Phuket (you could buy it over the counter in Patong, even though it was illegal) and never had any problems with addiction to it.

I always thought of clonezapam as a sort of 'Valium light'.

The problem I am having now is that I am right back where I started; drinking myself to sleep (3-4 big Leos and a 'baen of HongTong is a typical night) due to the inevitable insomnia that this taper entails.

I think what I really also need is a non-benzo sleeping pill to help get me through this, although I really want to get off all meds altogether in the long run.

I will have to do some more research on whether to ask for a valium prescription, because in my past experiences 'switching one drug for another' has gone very poorly indeed

[gerryBScot]

there is a drug (naltrexone i think) that is used for drug addicts to stop them from getting high and has been used in trials for alchoholics with great success . maybe you could see a doctor and ask about this .

Swap one drug for another drug, that does not make any sense at all.

This is very true in my experience. I was prescribed clonezapam by a Thai psychiatrist about six years ago after I had a panic attack that was almost certainly induced by alcohol withdrawal caused by lao daeng.

I used it as a sleeping pill and stayed on it because it would 'knock me out' when I would have otherwise drunk myself to sleep.

She also gave me Zoloft, but I decided to stop taking that after just a few months.

I am probably still an alcoholic by most definitions, but I went through a period last year when I would fall asleep many nights without taking my nightly dose of clonezapam.

The following day I would have no idea why I was feeling so anxious, weird and tunnel visioned. It was terrible, especially when I was teaching, driving or in a shopping mall. I really thought I had diabetes, Alzheimer's or was going crazy. I also suspected it was alcohol withdrawal, so I started day drinking, but that just made matters worse -- no accidents or incidents, fortunately, but just increased anxiety.

A few months ago I was driving my daughter to school in the morning and I was so stressed out and tunnel-visioned that I had to pull over into the (aptly named in this case) breakdown lane. I had driven like that alone before, but I wouldn't do it with my daughter in the car.

I had my head on the steering wheel as she asked what the problem was. Even though I always thought of clonezapam as a sleeping pill,with no other recourse I popped one in the morning. Within ten minutes I not only felt fine, but actually enjoyed driving again.

It was a huge relief to finally learn the source of the problem, which I now know is called 'benzo withdrawal'.

Now I am tapering off very slowly from clonezapam (aka klonipin), but it isn't easy.

I am so disappointed that my doctors never informed me about the dangers of long-term use of benzodiezapene drugs like clonezepam and none ever suggested I try to get off it.

My only point in writing this is to warn other heavy drinkers and/or alcoholics not to go down this dangerous road in an attempt to deal with drinking problems.

To the OP: I truly wish you the best of luck.

Yeah most Thai medical interventions are led by prescribing and it is usually done without the slightest consideration of potential side effects, whether short or long term. My general practitioner, GP, in the UK was the best doctor I ever had and really helped me get well. I doubt I would be alive today without his tender care. He was really a psychologist as he was always about five steps ahead of me! And he understood there was never going to be any point in telling me that alcohol etc were likely to kill me. It's one thing I really miss these days about the old country and this was all courtesy of the much maligned National Health Service....

[dennis123]

For what it's worth, Diazepam made me hallucinate after I started drinking again, beta blockers are a better alternative at least for me as they're quite effective for tremors after drinking and they are easily available over the counter nor on the Opium list so you can take them with you while travelling.

[fang37]

Dennis

How is the controlled drinking method going?

[big carl]

For what it's worth, Diazepam made me hallucinate after I started drinking again, beta blockers are a better alternative at least for me as they're quite effective for tremors after drinking and they are easily available over the counter nor on the Opium list so you can take them with you while travelling.

To the best of my knowledge the most effective defense against tremors is don't drink. Why do you do it when you know what the result will be?

[fang37]

It is called INSANE behaviour.

Death penalty.

[spidermike007]

I have yet to know a happy drunk. Any thing that controls us is dangerous except common sense and decency.

Completely wrong. In my opinion alcohol brings out people's true natures. Some I know get very silly and it seems to enhance their humor. Some get hostile and angry. Some get loud. But, the angry or violent drunk is the worst kind of drunk. Best to quit cold turkey, and never back. It is very obviously a poison for the OP.

[big carl]

I have yet to know a happy drunk. Any thing that controls us is dangerous except common sense and decency.

Completely wrong. In my opinion alcohol brings out people's true natures. Some I know get very silly and it seems to enhance their humor. Some get hostile and angry. Some get loud. But, the angry or violent drunk is the worst kind of drunk. Best to quit cold turkey, and never back. It is very obviously a poison for the OP.

He has probably never known many drunks. I have and many of them were happy. Problem was when they continued it for years they for the most part got very unhappy with it. But not all of them. Sounds like he is a bit on the intalectual side and a touch of Religion thrown in. They are the hard ones to reach.

[Khon Kaen Dave]

I also was married to a woman for ten years.A violent woman who made an ass of herself where ever we went.Even on a holiday in Spain,we were asked to leave several taverna's.The only good thing she ever did,was to give me the best daughter in the world.When i finally divorced her,i was given sole custody,care and control by the judge.She got nothing,not even supervised visitation rights.My last words to her were,"you will die early,youll either get knocked down by some one,while you are crossing the road to buy a packet of fags,or someone will kill you"She married another guy,a very mild mannered,shy sort of guy.She had another 2 kids,who she neglected and abused.After about 5 years,she was so drunk that she atacked her husband with a claw hammer.In his panic to protect himself and his kids,he took the hammer from her and killed her.I cant go onto the names and the court case here.It went national in the papers at home and was quite a story.The daily Mirror had it and so did the daily Express.

I am not a troll nor do i lie.I dont give a monkeys whether any of you believe me or not,i know the truth.All this can be googled,even i am googleable.

The sad part about all this,is that she was only 37 years old. A beautiful woman that was controlled by alcohol and died because of it.

KKD

[big carl]

I also was married to a woman for ten years.A violent woman who made an ass of herself where ever we went.Even on a holiday in Spain,we were asked to leave several taverna's.The only good thing she ever did,was to give me the best daughter in the world.When i finally divorced her,i was given sole custody,care and control by the judge.She got nothing,not even supervised visitation rights.My last words to her were,"you will die early,youll either get knocked down by some one,while you are crossing the road to buy a packet of fags,or someone will kill you"She married another guy,a very mild mannered,shy sort of guy.She had another 2 kids,who she neglected and abused.After about 5 years,she was so drunk that she atacked her husband with a claw hammer.In his panic to protect himself and his kids,he took the hammer from her and killed her.I cant go onto the names and the court case here.It went national in the papers at home and was quite a story.The daily Mirror had it and so did the daily Express.

I am not a troll nor do i lie.I dont give a monkeys whether any of you believe me or not,i know the truth.All this can be googled,even i am googleable.

The sad part about all this,is that she was only 37 years old. A beautiful woman that was controlled by alcohol and died because of it.

An unfortunate event. Happens more than we know.

There has been times I am sure some one would have liked to see me on the receiving end of the hammer.

My curiosity is up what happened to him.

[ding]

(responding to Shaksey)

You don't have to believe in a higher power in AA, of course.

It's up to the individual... though it really works if one is alcoholic to stop the compulsion.

I HATED religion when I entered AA. I was glad it was a spiritual program, not religious.

Religion is for those afraid of hell. Spirituality is for those who've been there.

my .02

[impulse]

I HATED religion when I entered AA. I was glad it was a spiritual program, not religious.

Religion is for those afraid of hell. Spirituality is for those who've been there.

My favorite: Religion is what you get when you take spirituality, break it up into factions, and give each faction its own mortgage and recruitment quotas- and very, very human leadership.

[rascalman]

I speak we witth some authority! I drank most of my life but I was the cheerful, happy person. I have seen many similar to you! You must STOP DO WHAT YOU MUST, QUIT! You may need to be committed, ok in a hospital? Your future depends on this! 

I quit and only drank a few times since, never out of control! I pray you get help! Do you want to live, have a family? Chose!