Why do some ( ? many ) expats start a new family with Thai wives?

[khunpa]

Can we modify the post a little?

Ask why some older expats start a new family with Thai wives.

We all know of them..they post here regularly.

The men in their 60's talking about what they'd do to the school teacher for cutting their son's hair if they were 30 years younger. Or the special forces type etc etc etc ad nauseum.

These people will in all likelihood be dead before their children finish high school...why do they do this??? To feel good? But with no thought of the long term consequences of their progeny?

No doubt it could be an advantage to be light skinned in the cities...but in the up country villages where a lot of these men end up? The kids are neither Thai nor farang (in the villagers eyes).

Bordering on child abuse and a curse as seen from western eyes.

Discuss.

You are correct. I meant that, but I assumed everyone knew what I was talking about, those old men with money from the sale of their house ( after the divorce ) back in the UK or wherever living the high life in Thailand. They are invariably the ones pushing prams ( notice that Thai families almost NEVER use prams? ) with children young enough to be their grandchildren.

Well, I find it more amazing that these men truly believe, that their 35 year younger partners really loves them. I will start believing in love for those couples, the day I see a 60 year old Farang with a 95 year old Thai-woman.

But regarding having children, I guess it has something to do with "fear of death" and "forever young" syndrome. For sure a 60 year old guy hanging out with a 20 year old girl and wanting kids with her, has some "problems".

Edited December 6, 2013 by khunpa

[Mudcrab]

Before living in Thailand i divorced and had various girlfriends,most had kid(s) from different marriages,whats so different in Thailand,the majority of women are THAI,believe it or believe it not,as the vast majority of my ex gf were british.

Uh, this thread is about old farangs that have CHILDREN with new Thai wives. It's not about girlfriends, whether they have children already or not.

Come to that, if said old farangs had married another western woman after their divorce, would they expect to have more children with them?

Of course, it wouldn't happen, as the only western women that would marry them would already be in menopause .

Looks like a slap them down emoticon is needed LOL....

So true Thaibeach...hahahha

[peecee]

Both my GF and I are in our early 40s and both have children from previous marriages. We were told 2 years ago from a specialist doctor at a private hospital here, that the chances of us ever having children together was very unlikely (due to a operation my GF went through at that time).

Now she is 8 month pregnant and although, we were very surprised, we are both happy and look forward to the baby coming. So that is why, we are having a child together :-) Was not essential or planned, but now on the way...

It starts to get tough once they think you're tied down to them via a child; their allegiances switch to your offspring and they become more demanding and a vicious temper seem to develop from nowhere. It never seems to occur to them you might just walk away from all the aggravation.

[rayongchelsea]

What about educating this new family at 55 or 60.

It's really expensive to have a proper education here or in Asia.

Who needs that pressure, I thought the whole point of retirement and living abroad was to relax.

I have sat in bars with guys my age ( mid 50's) who do the usual rant of what's wrong with Thailand which is a lot when you have a family, health issues, legal issues..etc..( not the day to day living stuff, that's as banal as anywhere else) and yet their kids are in the Thai school village system and will be a product of that very system that they complain about.

A responsible father would take the kids home to the west..but of course they won't.

[thaibeachlovers]

Can we modify the post a little?

Ask why some older expats start a new family with Thai wives.

We all know of them..they post here regularly.

The men in their 60's talking about what they'd do to the school teacher for cutting their son's hair if they were 30 years younger. Or the special forces type etc etc etc ad nauseum.

These people will in all likelihood be dead before their children finish high school...why do they do this??? To feel good? But with no thought of the long term consequences of their progeny?

No doubt it could be an advantage to be light skinned in the cities...but in the up country villages where a lot of these men end up? The kids are neither Thai nor farang (in the villagers eyes).

Bordering on child abuse and a curse as seen from western eyes.

Discuss.

You are correct. I meant that, but I assumed everyone knew what I was talking about, those old men with money from the sale of their house ( after the divorce ) back in the UK or wherever living the high life in Thailand. They are invariably the ones pushing prams ( notice that Thai families almost NEVER use prams? ) with children young enough to be their grandchildren.

Well, I find it more amazing that these men truly believe, that their 35 year younger partners really loves them. I will start believing in love for those couples, the day I see a 60 year old Farang with a 95 year old Thai-woman.

But regarding having children, I guess it has something to do with "fear of death" and "forever young" syndrome. For sure a 60 year old guy hanging out with a 20 year old girl and wanting kids with her, has some "problems".

Personally I thank the deity every day I wake up with someone attractive that doesn't look like my granny did before she died, but I'd never want to have children with her.

As for whether she loves me, only she knows the real truth, but I'm just happy that she stays with me for whatever reason.

[thaibeachlovers]

What about educating this new family at 55 or 60.

It's really expensive to have a proper education here or in Asia.

Who needs that pressure, I thought the whole point of retirement and living abroad was to relax.

I have sat in bars with guys my age ( mid 50's) who do the usual rant of what's wrong with Thailand which is a lot when you have a family, health issues, legal issues..etc..( not the day to day living stuff, that's as banal as anywhere else) and yet their kids are in the Thai school village system and will be a product of that very system that they complain about.

A responsible father would take the kids home to the west..but of course they won't.

But if they took the children home to the west they wouldn't be living in Thailand which presumably is what they want to do.

So round and round it goes.

I'm beginning to think the reason they have kids with the new wife is much the same as why they buy the beloved the new car and the house- they just can't say no.

[thehelmsman]

I'm a pretty crude fella, but man most of these posts outdo me. In the western world not having kids at an older age comes down to money and of course most guys 55+ probably wont be attracting women young enough to want more kids.

Here in Thailand if the guys have enough money to support the new family, then what business is it of anyone. The man, woman and child have a happy life. It's a win, win for everyone.

[473geo]

Can we modify the post a little?

Ask why some older expats start a new family with Thai wives.

We all know of them..they post here regularly.

The men in their 60's talking about what they'd do to the school teacher for cutting their son's hair if they were 30 years younger. Or the special forces type etc etc etc ad nauseum.

These people will in all likelihood be dead before their children finish high school...why do they do this??? To feel good? But with no thought of the long term consequences of their progeny?

No doubt it could be an advantage to be light skinned in the cities...but in the up country villages where a lot of these men end up? The kids are neither Thai nor farang (in the villagers eyes).

Bordering on child abuse and a curse as seen from western eyes.

Discuss.

You are correct. I meant that, but I assumed everyone knew what I was talking about, those old men with money from the sale of their house ( after the divorce ) back in the UK or wherever living the high life in Thailand. They are invariably the ones pushing prams ( notice that Thai families almost NEVER use prams? ) with children young enough to be their grandchildren.

My brother is in the Philippines at 61 with an 18 month old. He will be the grandfather picking up the kid from primary school. poor kid.

Don't get me wrong....heaps of money and a hot wife.....but the poor kid comment remains.

want to pay football in the backyard.....crack there goes the hip.

Your comments show you have picked up little knowledge about life in Thailand, in many villages there are children initially raised by their grandparents.

Indeed my sister in law is returning home to have her baby shortly, then after 3 months will return to work in a BKK in a factory alongside her husband. the child will be raised it the village by the grandmother, alongside a whole tribe of relatives to support and look out for it.

Football in the back yard! My son disappears to play with his friends all day, he may be teased as 'Farang noi' but his friends, family, and his backyard stretch as far as the eye can see, and beyond, he returns to play with papa for a couple of hours in the evening,which may well be instigated by a wish to stay up longer, but play he appears to enjoy, rather than some pre-set form of duty. My children have also really enjoyed being taught to swim, we are on for another session tomorrow, just another little benefit of a Farang Papa, They use a computer and tablet, just another little benefit of a Farang papa, I could go on.....but why shatter your illusion

[khunpa]

Can we modify the post a little?

Ask why some older expats start a new family with Thai wives.

We all know of them..they post here regularly.

The men in their 60's talking about what they'd do to the school teacher for cutting their son's hair if they were 30 years younger. Or the special forces type etc etc etc ad nauseum.

These people will in all likelihood be dead before their children finish high school...why do they do this??? To feel good? But with no thought of the long term consequences of their progeny?

No doubt it could be an advantage to be light skinned in the cities...but in the up country villages where a lot of these men end up? The kids are neither Thai nor farang (in the villagers eyes).

Bordering on child abuse and a curse as seen from western eyes.

Discuss.

You are correct. I meant that, but I assumed everyone knew what I was talking about, those old men with money from the sale of their house ( after the divorce ) back in the UK or wherever living the high life in Thailand. They are invariably the ones pushing prams ( notice that Thai families almost NEVER use prams? ) with children young enough to be their grandchildren.

Well, I find it more amazing that these men truly believe, that their 35 year younger partners really loves them. I will start believing in love for those couples, the day I see a 60 year old Farang with a 95 year old Thai-woman.

But regarding having children, I guess it has something to do with "fear of death" and "forever young" syndrome. For sure a 60 year old guy hanging out with a 20 year old girl and wanting kids with her, has some "problems".

Personally I thank the deity every day I wake up with someone attractive that doesn't look like my granny did before she died, but I'd never want to have children with her.

As for whether she loves me, only she knows the real truth, but I'm just happy that she stays with me for whatever reason.

I hope I get to wake up with my GF, when we are both old and both look like "Sxxt". At least, we will have many years of memories to share and I will always know that she choose me, for whom I am as a person - and not for money or lack of other options.

I doubt most people would enjoy having sex with a person 30-40 years older than themselves. If so, I guess all GoGo's would be filled with 60+ year old women...

But that is just the way I am... I am in my 40s and for some reason can not get turned on by 20 year old girls, who could be my daughters...

Edited December 6, 2013 by khunpa

[lostinsurin]

I don't understand why they want to get married at all. It is easy to fool around with young and attractive women on a regular basis, no matter how revolting one is. Why buy the cow?

What a disgraceful reply!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anybody want to buy a cow?

[khunpa]

I'm a pretty crude fella, but man most of these posts outdo me. In the western world not having kids at an older age comes down to money and of course most guys 55+ probably wont be attracting women young enough to want more kids.

Here in Thailand if the guys have enough money to support the new family, then what business is it of anyone. The man, woman and child have a happy life. It's a win, win for everyone.

Yes, it would be a win-win for all, IF the woman actually had other choices. Because if she had, then it would be like in the western world and she would never had been with some much older man...

So it is really not a win-win... It is just about money!

Edited December 6, 2013 by khunpa

[Mudcrab]

I'm a pretty crude fella, but man most of these posts outdo me. In the western world not having kids at an older age comes down to money and of course most guys 55+ probably wont be attracting women young enough to want more kids.

Here in Thailand if the guys have enough money to support the new family, then what business is it of anyone. The man, woman and child have a happy life. It's a win, win for everyone.

Except for the kid in the long term. Money can't buy time with a kid and that's what kids need...a mum and a relatively healthy dad who can do things with them. Not a Dad who goes belly up when the kid is 9 or 10. Better to not have kids at this age. Fair chance you already have grandkids...enjoy them and teach them as a grandparent.....regardless of all the bullsh!t this is the way it is and has always been.

[rayongchelsea]

I'm a pretty crude fella, but man most of these posts outdo me. In the western world not having kids at an older age comes down to money and of course most guys 55+ probably wont be attracting women young enough to want more kids.

 

Here in Thailand if the guys have enough money to support the new family, then what business is it of anyone. The man, woman and child have a happy life. It's a win, win for everyone.

Agreed.

But a lot don't.

They don't know the costs, the probable demands on them and are on fixed incomes..

in the west..as you say, if you have the money it's possible. Here it's much more the norm not an exception and at a guess the average working class guy doesn't have the financials to have a win/win..and then the lady discovers that..not why she married the old guy for..seen too much to be other than pessimistic..

What is enough..?

[khunpa]

Can we modify the post a little?

Ask why some older expats start a new family with Thai wives.

We all know of them..they post here regularly.

The men in their 60's talking about what they'd do to the school teacher for cutting their son's hair if they were 30 years younger. Or the special forces type etc etc etc ad nauseum.

These people will in all likelihood be dead before their children finish high school...why do they do this??? To feel good? But with no thought of the long term consequences of their progeny?

No doubt it could be an advantage to be light skinned in the cities...but in the up country villages where a lot of these men end up? The kids are neither Thai nor farang (in the villagers eyes).

Bordering on child abuse and a curse as seen from western eyes.

Discuss.

You are correct. I meant that, but I assumed everyone knew what I was talking about, those old men with money from the sale of their house ( after the divorce ) back in the UK or wherever living the high life in Thailand. They are invariably the ones pushing prams ( notice that Thai families almost NEVER use prams? ) with children young enough to be their grandchildren.

Well, I find it more amazing that these men truly believe, that their 35 year younger partners really loves them. I will start believing in love for those couples, the day I see a 60 year old Farang with a 95 year old Thai-woman.

But regarding having children, I guess it has something to do with "fear of death" and "forever young" syndrome. For sure a 60 year old guy hanging out with a 20 year old girl and wanting kids with her, has some "problems".

Personally I thank the deity every day I wake up with someone attractive that doesn't look like my granny did before she died, but I'd never want to have children with her.

As for whether she loves me, only she knows the real truth, but I'm just happy that she stays with me for whatever reason.

Well, as long as your partner is happy with waking up every morning, with someone that could be her father, then thats good...

[rayongchelsea]

I'm a pretty crude fella, but man most of these posts outdo me. In the western world not having kids at an older age comes down to money and of course most guys 55+ probably wont be attracting women young enough to want more kids.

 

Here in Thailand if the guys have enough money to support the new family, then what business is it of anyone. The man, woman and child have a happy life. It's a win, win for everyone.

Except for the kid in the long term. Money can't buy time with a kid and that's what kids need...a mum and a relatively healthy dad who can do things with them. Not a Dad who goes belly up when the kid is 9 or 10. Better to not have kids at this age. Fair chance you already have grandkids...enjoy them and teach them as a grandparent.....regardless of all the bullsh!t this is the way it is and has always been.

And as it was before the hordes of older farangs arrived here about 10 years ago.

Where did all these women find all these old guys they have instantly married before then.

Maybe married a Thai guy , their age??

[billd766]

I don't see why it's a mystery. People like family life and normality. People don't migrate to Thailand to grow old and lonely.

I beg to differ on that one, after travelling to Thailand on and off for well over ten years, I've met some real grumpy cantankerous old and lonely men..

I have met some happy ones who are still with their Thai wives after 15 years or so but they are in my experience the minority..

Well I have have known my Thai wife for 20 years, been married for 14 of them,

We have a 9 year old son who was a surprise to both of us and all the more welcome for it.

Old I will agree to at 69 but grumpy, cantankerous and lonely are not in my skill set.

Sorry.

[Mudcrab]

I don't see why it's a mystery. People like family life and normality. People don't migrate to Thailand to grow old and lonely.

I beg to differ on that one, after travelling to Thailand on and off for well over ten years, I've met some real grumpy cantankerous old and lonely men..

I have met some happy ones who are still with their Thai wives after 15 years or so but they are in my experience the minority..

Well I have have known my Thai wife for 20 years, been married for 14 of them,

We have a 9 year old son who was a surprise to both of us and all the more welcome for it.

Old I will agree to at 69 but grumpy, cantankerous and lonely are not in my skill set.

Sorry.

Give it time...those skills will develop

Only kidding Bill

[billd766]

I don't see why it's a mystery. People like family life and normality. People don't migrate to Thailand to grow old and lonely.

I beg to differ on that one, after travelling to Thailand on and off for well over ten years, I've met some real grumpy cantankerous old and lonely men..

I have met some happy ones who are still with their Thai wives after 15 years or so but they are in my experience the minority..

Well I have have known my Thai wife for 20 years, been married for 14 of them,

We have a 9 year old son who was a surprise to both of us and all the more welcome for it.

Old I will agree to at 69 but grumpy, cantankerous and lonely are not in my skill set.

Sorry.

Give it time...those skills will develop

Only kidding Bill

It is lucky you said that last bit as I may have had to come and hit you with my zimmer frame, if I could carry it on my wheelchair.

[Briggsy]

How much is a vasectomy here?

[khunpa]

How much is a vasectomy here?

Piss your GF/wife off and its free... :-)

[lostinsurin]

Some could have children for the wrong reasons, my sister back in the UK married, he had been married before and had two children from that marriage,

they had four children, after their divorce he moved to portugal where he married again and fathered two more children.

It came out that he was a pedofile and had molested all his children at different stages.

Not saying all but some fathers have children for the wrong reasons. I tell this without meaning to upset anybody.

Edited December 6, 2013 by lostinsurin

[Briggsy]

I think it is great that all these old blokes are becoming new fathers (again) in their mid-60's. I enjoy observing the aftermath from an anthropological perspective. Better than TV, (television not ThaiVisa).

[how241]

I don't understand why they want to get married at all. It is easy to fool around with young and attractive women on a regular basis, no matter how revolting one is. Why buy the cow?

True... However, the first thing, I got really feed up here of fooling around with so many different women. I simply ended up finding it extremely boring.

Now I have a great partner, lover and friend in my GF, who makes my daily life here great. To me, my GF is still super attractive although in her early 40's.

So I do not really feel, that I miss anything from the past. Should I change my mind at some point, then there is always the Mia Noi option... ;-) But so far I am very happy in my relationship and it saves me a lot of hangovers, dinners and money.

I never understood the guys, who can stay here for many years and still find the bargirls, freelancers and gold-diggers here fascinating. But people are different and as long as everybody is happy, then thats fine with me.

Good Post...

[thatswhatuthought]

W.T.F. ??????

How many more times will we find posts of similar content here? Get a life people and ask mama to tell you the answer...

But, you were so intrigued by the question that you just HAD to come on and make a totally pointless contribution.

Obviously a man with nothing better to do than search TV for threads to comment on .

Comming from a guy with over 4,500 comments to a guy with less than 600

[Dellie]

I won't go in to the many reasons why they have children. I will just say many of them shouldn't. I can't tell you how many little mixed kids I see running around here who are basically fatherless (their fathers come once or twice a year). Breaks my heart tbh. If you can't take care of your child both emotionally and financially then don't fuckin have children!!

The worst example is a couple on our street. The thai wife doesn't work and the farang father lives here permanently. Still their 2 year old son lives with his grandparents up in Roi et. Disspicable!

[DGIE]

Bernard Flint, on 06 Dec 2013 - 13:38

Before living in Thailand i divorced and had various girlfriends,most had kid(s) from different marriages,whats so different in Thailand,the majority of women are THAI,believe it or believe it not,as the vast majority of my ex gf were british.

so how many girlfriends do you have now?

[jomcondo]

I always chuckle when I see the guys 70+ years old pushing their newborns around.

[473geo]

I see the thread has dropped into the well churned rut of older man younger Thai female

For me it has always been this way, in fact my first marriage was to a third world occupant, from New Zealand, 13 years my junior, I guess for those that have continuously dated and married well below their years, nothing really to say, been there, doing that, no change! For those who will never achieve or have no inclination, or ability, well I guess a little more discussion as to why never hurt.

[MB1]

I always chuckle when I see the guys 70+ years old pushing their newborns around.

I always chuckle when people prejudge others without knowing the facts..

That 70+ year old could be pushing his grand child..

A 70+ year old holding the hand of a 20 something Thai girl could be his daughter...maybe he aint the dirty old man after all that some idiots suspect him to be...

[remobb]

I have a son and proud of it and him. He is the best thing that ever happened to me. I always thought I would never have kids but he has filled my heart with love. Wouldn't change that for the world.