Why do some ( ? many ) expats start a new family with Thai wives?

[bangkokfanatic]

Why the presumption that any farang who has a child with a Thai wife / GF necessarily has kids in his home country? I was married for almost 10 years with a woman who talked constantly about having a family and settling down. Then she started blossoming in her career. Then she went to a couple of "assertive women in management" courses and hanging out with single career women. Then came the bombshell - "I want a career, not a family". Then came the divorce.

I found myself with enough money to last me a lifetime, a huge house built for a family and even a lonely dog looking for playfriends. I had the entire package without the kids! And I was suddenly alone. I started doing the rounds - I'd always kept myself in shape and had no problems finding company in Australia. But they instantly decided that they would be moving in and running the show... or they were drunks, or had abusive ex-husbands who would create dramas. It became tiresome.

So I went backpacking to relieve the boredom and caught up with a friend who lives in BKK and is married to a Thai. He was exactly the same as me. And, oddly, his wife "had a friend" who she used to work with in a Department store in BKK. So we met at dinner and went out partying after... And although I certainly had fun elsewhere, I kept coming back for one reason. To see her.

I so I came to and from Thailand for almost 3 years. And so, my partners now 4 year-old son, has only ever had 1 father - me. Our daughter was planned. I thought it would take months if at all. But just 8 days later she was conceived. She is now 10 months old, my daughter is the most precious thing in my life that I will ever have. All the money, all the power and success mean nothing if you are alone.

And now my family are arriving back in Australia in 3 days time. And I am happy and thinking of them makes me smile....

Why is it that some people instantly assume that all mixed relationships start in some seedy bar and that as soon as they see kids they assume the poor guy must have been trapped by a scheming bar-girl? Or that his adult kids in Australia must be home disgusted in their father?

[NoshowJones]

Is this the dumbest post of the year?

There is nothing wrong with the post, the OP is asking a valid question. If you think it is dumb, just move on to the next topic.

[NoshowJones]

Is this the dumbest post of the year?

Why is it the dumbest post?

OP is spot on, in many cases, she already has a few kids being raised by her mother, so why have more?

Disagree with you Lemoncake. Often, regardless of ethnicity, women have a strong desire to have children from their present partner/husband, which also helps to secure a marriage. Suggest you study a bit about human nature, how it evolved and desire to populate the World, which is not only restricted to human beings by the way. Where have you both been hiding all your life?

If a marriage needs children to help secure it, then what does that say about the marriage?

[EBlair48]

As the OT has the subject anchored as male ex pats...to wives, no mystery at all

Males of all species urge to spread semen as far and as wide as possible. This goes with the eons old war ethic that has them impregnating females of the enemy which is done through rape. Only relatively recent moral guides introduced by religions have men struggling to be faithful to one partner. .

Thailand with its less stringent sexuality mores and impoverished women eager to trade their companionship for financial security, just facilitates this urge in a non violent manner.

[techboy]

I don't understand why they want to get married at all. It is easy to fool around with young and attractive women on a regular basis, no matter how revolting one is. Why buy the cow?

Naïve and idealistic me but I always believed that getting married had more to it than popping yer nut.

[Neeranam]

My wife and I have no previous kids that we know of.

I love my kids, they're great.

For those marrying women with baggage, they're probably forced into it because the women wants some kind of secirity and look kruengs are generally good as a retirement plan and often look cute too.

[DiamondKing]

Never been ,married or have any kids, but i would presume to "secure" the marriage.

Or may be they just do not use the condoms

And this is the second dumbest post of the year

to secure a marriage

[lemoncake]

Never been ,married or have any kids, but i would presume to "secure" the marriage.

Or may be they just do not use the condoms

And this is the second dumbest post of the year

to secure a marriage

Was yours the first? Claiming yellow shirts are protesting

[FiftyTwo]

My wife and I have no previous kids that we know of.

I love my kids, they're great.

For those marrying women with baggage, they're probably forced into it because the women wants some kind of secirity and look kruengs are generally good as a retirement plan and often look cute too.

I dumped a Thai gf who didn't want children.

I actively sought out one that did.

It was me that wanted children.

[thaibeachlovers]

Why the presumption that any farang who has a child with a Thai wife / GF necessarily has kids in his home country? I was married for almost 10 years with a woman who talked constantly about having a family and settling down. Then she started blossoming in her career. Then she went to a couple of "assertive women in management" courses and hanging out with single career women. Then came the bombshell - "I want a career, not a family". Then came the divorce.

I found myself with enough money to last me a lifetime, a huge house built for a family and even a lonely dog looking for playfriends. I had the entire package without the kids! And I was suddenly alone. I started doing the rounds - I'd always kept myself in shape and had no problems finding company in Australia. But they instantly decided that they would be moving in and running the show... or they were drunks, or had abusive ex-husbands who would create dramas. It became tiresome.

So I went backpacking to relieve the boredom and caught up with a friend who lives in BKK and is married to a Thai. He was exactly the same as me. And, oddly, his wife "had a friend" who she used to work with in a Department store in BKK. So we met at dinner and went out partying after... And although I certainly had fun elsewhere, I kept coming back for one reason. To see her.

I so I came to and from Thailand for almost 3 years. And so, my partners now 4 year-old son, has only ever had 1 father - me. Our daughter was planned. I thought it would take months if at all. But just 8 days later she was conceived. She is now 10 months old, my daughter is the most precious thing in my life that I will ever have. All the money, all the power and success mean nothing if you are alone.

And now my family are arriving back in Australia in 3 days time. And I am happy and thinking of them makes me smile....

Why is it that some people instantly assume that all mixed relationships start in some seedy bar and that as soon as they see kids they assume the poor guy must have been trapped by a scheming bar-girl? Or that his adult kids in Australia must be home disgusted in their father?

Please note that THIS thread is about expats that DO already have children in their home country and start another family here, regardless of where they meet the Thai wife.

[Showbags]

Never been ,married or have any kids, but i would presume to "secure" the marriage.

Or may be they just do not use the condoms

And this is the second dumbest post of the year

to secure a marriage

What can you say, I mean the guy prefers gerbils for close companionship...

[ableguy]

Both my GF and70. I are in our early 40s and both have children from previous marriages. We were told 2 years ago from a specialist doctor at a private hospital here, that the chances of us ever having children together was very unlikely (due to a operation my GF went through at that time).

Now she is 8 month pregnant and although, we were very surprised, we are both happy and look forward to the baby coming. So that is why, we are having a child together :-) Was not essential or planned, but now on the way...

Yes but you are 40 ish not 70 ish.

[FiftyTwo]

If a marriage needs children to help secure it, then what does that say about the marriage?

The whole point of marriage is to provide a secure environment for the raising of your joint children.

If you have no intention of having children together, marriage is pointless.

Edited December 9, 2013 by FiftyTwo

[NoshowJones]

If a marriage needs children to help secure it, then what does that say about the marriage?

The whole point of marriage is to provide a secure environment for the raising of your joint children.

If you have no intention of having children together, marriage is pointless.

I see where you are coming from. I was with my wife for five years before we got married about three years ago, because my wife being a business lady, it affected her dealings with the bank.

[FiftyTwo]

If a marriage needs children to help secure it, then what does that say about the marriage?

The whole point of marriage is to provide a secure environment for the raising of your joint children.

If you have no intention of having children together, marriage is pointless.

I see where you are coming from. I was with my wife for five years before we got married about three years ago, because my wife being a business lady, it affected her dealings with the bank.

Not being married, It hasn't caused the PM any business problems.

[norrona]

Rod Stewart could answer this question.....

I would go by the thoughts that typically it is the woman's prerogative to get pregnant if her man is wealthy and her future looks comfortable....at least that's why my ex wife stopped taking the pill and didn't bother to tell me...when questioned and asked why it was all her mothers fault as she had been in her ear...no we didn't have a baby, thank god

[NeverSure]

I don't understand why they want to get married at all. It is easy to fool around with young and attractive women on a regular basis, no matter how revolting one is. Why buy the cow?

Some men do not want to "rape" a 20 yr old for 800 Bt

Gimme a break. He said nothing about paying, and nothing about 20 year olds.

I agree with him 100%. I would never have more children, and I will never get married. But I don't even have to look for women in Thailand. They let me know they are interested.

[tingtongtingtong]

People have kids, big deal. I picture the majority of TV posters as ranting old Jeremy Clarkson men with nothing better to do.

[DavidMavec]

Because dem be whipped! And I ain't talking about with a rag if ya get mah drift!

[rjcampbe]

I have met some happy ones who are still with their Thai wives after 15 years or so but they are in my experience the minority..

You could delete the word "Thai" in that sentence and the statement would be equally true.

How many people do you know who are happily married after 15 years?

How many people do you know who haven't been married 15 years in total over multiple marriages?

My money is that the second number is MUCH bigger.

[FiftyTwo]

I have met some happy ones who are still with their Thai wives after 15 years or so but they are in my experience the minority..

You could delete the word "Thai" in that sentence and the statement would be equally true.

How many people do you know who are happily married after 15 years?

How many people do you know who haven't been married 15 years in total over multiple marriages?

My money is that the second number is MUCH bigger.

25 years for my first marriage until she dumped me to 'find herself'.

4 years in Thailand, so far so good.

[Showbags]

I have met some happy ones who are still with their Thai wives after 15 years or so but they are in my experience the minority..

You could delete the word "Thai" in that sentence and the statement would be equally true.

How many people do you know who are happily married after 15 years?

How many people do you know who haven't been married 15 years in total over multiple marriages?

My money is that the second number is MUCH bigger.

25 years for my first marriage until she dumped me to 'find herself'.

4 years in Thailand, so far so good.

Hope you bought her a gps for christmas

[MB1]

I have met some happy ones who are still with their Thai wives after 15 years or so but they are in my experience the minority..

You could delete the word "Thai" in that sentence and the statement would be equally true.

How many people do you know who are happily married after 15 years?

How many people do you know who haven't been married 15 years in total over multiple marriages?

My money is that the second number is MUCH bigger.

Well being as the thread title was the below.....And I was posting about people with Thai partners....

"Why do some ( ? many ) expats start a new family with Thai wives?"

I'll leave the word "Thai" in my sentence... I can't delete it anyway now, as my time for editing is well out of time....

Edited December 13, 2013 by MB1

[mesquite]

Re the OP, I believe the Thai wife wants the child because a half-farang, half-Thai child is considered beautiful over here, a potential movie star, money maker, lottery winner, whatever. So she pushes for it. She doesn't really care that the farang won't be around for the child in his teen years because the farang is too old.

Edited December 15, 2013 by mesquite

[FiftyTwo]

Re the OP, I believe the Thai wife wants the child because a half-farang, half-Thai child is considered beautiful over here, a potential movie star, money maker, lottery winner, whatever. So she pushes for it. She doesn't really care that the farang won't be around for the child in his teen years because the farang is too old.

Statistically 40% of women worldwide don't want the father around at all after a while.

This "don't have children if you are old because you may die" is a red herring.

Society all over the western world considers the male role in a family, after conception, essentially redundant.

When I say society, I am of course thinking, governments, judges, lawyers, women, social workers, teachers, etc.

Edited December 16, 2013 by FiftyTwo

[rubik101]

Because ugly old gits who screwed up their marriage/s in the UK only have a hope of finding a wife here in Asia because the Asian women see farangs as being good-looking, no matter how old and ugly they really are. It's all a matter of perception. And because they think farangs are rich. I asked my wife.

[thaibeachlovers]

Because ugly old gits who screwed up their marriage/s in the UK only have a hope of finding a wife here in Asia because the Asian women see farangs as being good-looking, no matter how old and ugly they really are. It's all a matter of perception. And because they think farangs are rich. I asked my wife.

Which may be true, but it has nothing to do with having kids with the Thai wife.

[thaibeachlovers]

Is this one of them old man and young Thai women lame topics or a race thing (which I sometimes find humorous on TV,) or just a general question about why do people having kids?

I consider myself and my girlfriend who is Thai more of the new generation of western/Thai relationships. Both young professionals (actually she is smarter and richer than me) and yes one day we will have kids, no different to if I was with a girl in the UK. Most of my friends in BKK are the same ilk.

The boring old expat and sex tourist type people are dying out, the landscape is changing (especially how pension are changing), Thailand is becoming more multicultural and the young Thai's are smarter, sharper, richer and more world-ware. Young professionals from over seas are arriving in Thailand, Bangkok for work and to explore life.

I for one look forward to this change which is around the corner / here already. (Step aside old bar flies and crusty boring bar girls). It would result in strange questions like this being of no meaning. Nationality of the woman and man and their location is of no value / consequence or not in regards to the way the OP is aiming (another us/them, young/old rich/poor race rant by a dying bread of oldmen in Thailand. Don't get me wrong I tip my hat to these old crooners, who have went out having fun)

Would I have kids with my Thai girlfriend in Thailand? Yes maybe - same answer if I was in the UK and with an English women...strange question.

This thread is not for you, unless you have children with a wife in your own country, and being "young" that probably isn't the case.